Open communication is good. It helps to remove doubt n distrust. But if u end up with a spouse that ll only communicates wat he/she feels u should. It ll b better u tune ur mind that way so as not 2 b unhappy from expectation. I remember that was my childhood marriage fantasy. It is a pity it didn't turn out that way.

Open communication should start from when the relationship started and not with the past deeds,actions or relationships of each other.Some minds can't bear the taught of knowing that their husband or wife slept with certain number of guys/babes more so when they may know some of them if revealed.
Truthfullness will suffix when any issue of past deeds is revealed.

yellowpawpaw:
Maybe u got dat statement wrong.u can modify it.I gat what u were sayin very well.
Communication means a lot.there is nothin I dont tell my hubby and viseversa.even things dat made no sense.its very vital in relationship.

Just say most things. Not everything. No relationship is this perfect among men.

In the 1st few years of my marriage, I used to tell my hubby almost everything. After he used some of the info I had revealed to him to insult me after arguments,since then I watch my communications and know what and what to discuss. 18 years down the line that's how we roll. I see so many posts on marriage/relationships with each spouting their words of wisdom. I say to each his/her own. I judge no ones r/ship style/method. You know ur partner so u know how to manage it.I have learnt to manage communication in my relationship and its fine for me.Summary - Open Communication not for me.

Useless thread.
Inflated Ego.
Women don suffer

olumidazz: Absolute crap its like deliberately sticking your neck out to be beheaded. Marriage by itself has given women more advantage, which one be open communication again? am not saying cheat! Or commit adultery, But woman and men are not wired the same way and will not reason on the same line of thought, you will find out that 99 % of decisions taken in these types of marriages are women inclined, its the delilah tactics, then when a minor misunderstanding occurs of 25 years in the marriage the men will commit suicide, because weather you like it or not, no matter how long it takes there will be misrep or misunderstanding somehow some way along the line, then you would have been checkmated.

He that must have friends must show himself friendly. I took a risk. So far it has worked great. The attitude is more like what happens if I put all my cards on d table. Moreover your wife can destroy you with better dexterity than anyone else. It appears safer to win her trust by being accountable

Let me give a case
I got a job on phone with d pay agreed on. Since my schedule was tight, I asked wifey 2 pick d letter n sign 4 me. D boss added 20k on d spot

Olasaint I don't get your analogy, why will your wife not help you get the job when she knows her open communication with you will enable her wallop your whole salary 4 you.

Personally I'm an 'open communicator' myself n Oga hubby knows that.
He treats me good - I tell him, always.
He treats me bad - I tell him, one hand.
He hits that spot - I SCREAM in joy n pleasure.
He rushes in n out - I groan in disappointment.
He's EVER to av a gf, even for free? - It's a big NO ... N he knows that 2.
I recommend OC 4 every marriage - keeps all cards on the table & face-up all da time

If Abraham had open communication with his wife, I doubt he would have succeeded in obeying God to sacrifice his son Isaac. Like most things in life open communication is good BUT we need balance and wisdom to know when to say stuff. Timing is important.

Do I tell my wife that the money I just withdrew from the bank account is for her birthday surprise gift?
I don't need my wife to tell me every detail that happens and I don't need her to wait for me to make most decisions, the key is to trust your partner to do what is right always using good judgement.

Open communication... It is very good in marriage and could also be detrimental. I attended a church some months back and there was this counsellor from the US who came to speak about marriage and what struck me the most was when he said the secret of his long and successful marriage to his wife is that they both do not say things they feel like to each other especially when they are married. He asked a question saying how many of us feels our bosses are jackasses almost everyone raised their hands, he also asked how many of us have told our bosses how we feel about them...? None! So in the guise of 'open communication' you tell your wife she is an ogbanje... you will sleep on the floor for the rest of the marriage

men can't handle some things so be wise when opening up,they are human beings o

The Bible says Open rebuke is better than secret love. Teach the truth in love however. A balance needed. Know the level of maturity of the person you are tryig to open up to. You cant let out your life secrets to a kid.

Nuzo':
Tho related, there's a big difference between open communication and open marriage. I think the. Op is practicing both. No biggie!

Open communication is a situation where a couple is free to discuss all aspects of their relationship including finance, relatives, friends, work, intentions, advances from opposite sex and desires.

While open marriage encompasses the above and having any one of the couple be intimate with a 3rd party so far the partner is informed.

Some may find open communication too extreme and embarrassing while others may find it reassuring and safe.
So, be it open or secret communication...COMMUNICATION is one of the major foundations to stable relationships.

i thinj u guys misunderstand the OP. What he means by not having a girlfirnd dat wil cost more than 5k is that because his wife knows bout the inflow and outflow of cash in his accountif he decides to cheat, then the girlfriend would have to cost 5k or less cos his wife wud know otherwise. In other worjs, he cant cheat

tanidabi: men can't handle some things so be wise when opening up,they are human beings o

If I dont like my boss, I dont pretend to love him either I give him a wide berth.

If my spouse cannot handle something as is, I can break them in gradually.

When you look at life like: the Choices I make will make or mar me You can actually resolve a lot of issues.Take the case of adultery. You slept with my secretary/boss, To tell or to hide?

Assuming you have not made up your mind to cheat.

Case 1: Tell Your SpouseWifey gets mad, husband throw you out, imposes sanctions, tell ur pastor, freezes the account in her possession, moves out etc all hell let loose for a God knows how long, but you will definitely get to the bottom of the problem wether you want to continue that way or make positive changes. It may even make your marriage stonger.

Case 2: Hide ItThe girl now has special access to your life, you will likely do it again, the next milestone will be a pregnancy, the relationship begins to consume resources (time, money), you now need special procedures to cover your tracks both at work and at home. Finally, the cat is let out of the bag, and you will always go back to case 1. All hell is let loose.

Its an attitude thing. Why postpone the evil day.

Do I tell my wife that the money I just
withdrew from the bank account is for
her birthday surprise gift?

once i went 2 a party by a guy who owed me. Wifey was livid but quiet. On d way home, see argument she wanted 2 place d blame on d guy, his wife or both, I was like can't someone take a moment off his hard life, and take a special moment. Even gifts are by consensus no crazy/xpensive gift.

it could be a plus or a minus, depending on who you marry. if youn marry the wrong person, then open communication is a no-no because everything you msay will and can be used against you.