My husband made a confession to me after sex last nite. There was a lady whom he claims is just a friend and who always came to the house when I travelled abroad to have the baby last year. He told me last nite that he almost slept with her twice. He said he got to the extent of sucking her boobs but he got scared and didn't finish.

What beats me is that in the past whenever I complained abt this lady's constant visit he told me that she was a strong christian and was encouraging him spiritually and even prays and sends bible verses to him. He also told me that everyone is not like me that if I don't trust myself alone with a man some ppl do trust themselves.

Again b4 I gave birth this lady told him that she had a dream that I died that he shld pray. Later she tld his friend that she was in love with him.

I am really angry. I couldn't sleep last nite. I had to sleep in the palour. I was still sulking this morning even though I gave him brkfast but he didn't show any remorse. He was more like feeling like a conqueror of women. I feel like taking my baby and leaving him.

I am soooo hurt.

Go naa!!

Just because ehn suck bobby u wan blow gasket, what of if to say ehn liberate her congo? You for kill am?!

Seriously, first of all, cut the guy some slack, its not like you caught him, he confessed to you without being under duress. That's gotta count for somethinng. Now ask yourself why would a man reach the pearly gates and not go in? That means he still has some concience left in him. I say sulk all day but you had better straighten shit out with him before you send him to another womans arm.

Remember that he had alreaady sold u a line of them being christian partners and would have exploited that line to fool around with her behinnd ur back if he was most men but he didn't,

All men get tempted, many fall, some stagger, but very few would be bold enough to confess to their spouses about it except they are caught pants down,

Go back to ur guy, no be ehn own bad pass,

@ Okija_juju

What if na me another man suck, do you think he would have 4given?

I feel really bad.

That's the point, "what if", Sorry it didn't happen to you,

So either forgive and put a tracker on him or get up and leave,

Okija_juju:

Go naa!!

Just because ehn suck bobby u wan blow gasket, what of if to say ehn liberate her congo? You for kill am?!

Seriously, first of all, cut the guy some slack, its not like you caught him, he confessed to you without being under duress. That's gotta count for somethinng. Now ask yourself why would a man reach the pearly gates and not go in? That means he still has some concience left in him. I say sulk all day but you had better straighten poo out with him before you send him to another womans arm.

Remember that he had alreaady sold u a line of them being christian partners and would have exploited that line to fool around with her behinnd your back if he was most men but he didn't,

All men get tempted, many fall, some stagger, but very few would be bold enough to confess to their spouses about it except they are caught pants down,

Go back to your guy, no be ehn own bad pass,

Heeeeey look at that!

Infidelity is now expected of men in Nigerian marriages!

A man lies to his wife, cheats on her and then gets a free pass for confessing! Boy . . . I really need to become a man.

queend:

My husband made a confession to me after sex last  nite. There was a lady whom he claims is just a friend and who always came to the house when I travelled abroad to have the baby last year. He told me last nite that he almost slept with her twice. He said he got to the extent of sucking her bosoms but he got scared and didn't finish.

What beats me is that in the past whenever I complained abt this lady's constant visit he told me that she was a strong christian and was encouraging him spiritually and even prays and sends bible verses to him. He also told me that everyone is not like me that if I don't trust myself alone with a man some ppl do trust themselves.

Again b4 I gave birth this lady told him that she had a dream that I died that he shld pray. Later she tld his friend that she was in love with him.

I am really angry. I couldn't sleep last nite. I had to sleep in the palour. I was still sulking this morning even though I gave him brkfast but he didn't show any remorse. He was more like feeling like a conqueror of women. I feel like taking my baby and leaving him.

I am soooo hurt.

Woman  . . . .done is done,Get over it,open your eyes,ears and nose,stay wise or LEAVE.
First off and the mistake we wives make most times . . .Please as much as possible,make sure that YOU are the closest pal/buddy/prayer partner/iman/juju priest/confidant your husband has . . .and vice versa.This is what courtship is for,u earn and stamp that position for urself . . .find ways to make him share every and all single details with you FIRST,don't let any mushroom prophet/ess,pastor or Iman take your position.And please don't tell me its not possible or its too late . . .start now(if u still want the marriage),be interested in what he does,if he is religious get religious too,pray with him,become his First and Only prophetess etc.

I can't say if this offense is worthy of a separation,divorce or not . . .you know the standards u set for urselves before and after marriage so the choice is urs.Mine is[b] IF [/b]you still want to stay,learn from this,tell him you appreciate his coming out clean with you but you expect much more from him in future.Stay wise.
As for the woman,pay her no mind,just talk with ur husband and agree that she wont come close to ur home or man again.

queend:

My husband made a confession to me after sex last  nite. There was a lady whom he claims is just a friend and who always came to the house when I travelled abroad to have the baby last year. He told me last nite that he almost slept with her twice. He said he got to the extent of sucking her bosoms but he got scared and didn't finish.

What beats me is that in the past whenever I complained abt this lady's constant visit he told me that she was a strong christian and was encouraging him spiritually and even prays and sends bible verses to him. He also told me that everyone is not like me that if I don't trust myself alone with a man some ppl do trust themselves.

Again b4 I gave birth this lady told him that she had a dream that I died that he shld pray. Later she tld his friend that she was in love with him.

I am really angry. I couldn't sleep last nite. I had to sleep in the palour. I was still sulking this morning even though I gave him brkfast but he didn't show any remorse. He was more like feeling like a conqueror of women. I feel like taking my baby and leaving him.

I am soooo hurt.

My dear, as sad as it is, Okija_juju is right . . .

Nigeria has come to a point where men are encouraged to be unfaithful to their wives to the extent that the ones who only suck b00bs and don't insert their 'poles' into the 'wells' are considered saints. Why else would he brag to his own wife about it    

I'm yet to understand why a married man will tell his wife, without remorse, that he sucked on another woman's bosoms and expect to be congratulated!    

Ify thanks 4 advice

Uju

I wonder. If he had been remorseful it would hv been easier to deal with but with this attitude I wonder when he wld do it again.

@ Uju

No be today I sabi you, your fan belt don cut since so e no dey hard you to overheat, Lol

I am not saying he should go unpunished. Infidelity of every kind is bad, wether just flirting, a kiss or just handling, its all bad. But let's remember that he came clean on his own! That's an important aspect u shld always consider. He had already established a good story with the church partner play (which she had bought) that he could have exploited for as long as he wanted but he didn't. All I am doing is looking at it from another side, let's understand what made him confess in the first place, Even the OP called it a "confession" not "boasting".

I really don't think he is beyond redemption. I say go back home and resolve this as fast as possible and seal up every hole that gave room for this anyways. I would have even advised her to press him for more confessions just to see how bad his indiscretions were, but that's prolly too late now, any chance of that left wen she flipped over a bosom.


@ Ify

Ibu ezigbo mmadu, Nnene odozi aku. Nwa Ada idi OK. I just loved ur post, Thanks for talking some sense into her,

Okija_juju:

@ Uju

No be today I sabi you, your fan belt don cut since so e no dey hard you to overheat,  Lol

I am not saying he should go unpunished. Infidelity of every kind is bad, wether just flirting, a kiss or just handling, its all bad. But let's remember that[b] he came clean on his own! [/b]That's an important aspect u shld always consider. He had already established a good story with the church partner play (which she had bought)  that he could have exploited for as long as he wanted but he didn't. All I am doing is looking at it from another side, let's understand what made him confess in the first place,  Even the OP called it a "confession" not "boasting".

I really don't think he is beyond redemption. I say go back home and resolve this as fast as possible and seal up every hole that gave room for this anyways. I would have even advised her to press him for more confessions just to see how bad his indiscretions were, but that's prolly too late now, any chance of that left wen she flipped over a bosom.

@ Ify

Ibu ezigbo mmadu, Nnene  odozi aku. Nwa Ada idi OK.  I just loved your post,  Thanks for talking some sense into her,

He didn't come clean out of remorse . . .  more like 'look what I've achieved . . . I sucked but I didn't f[i]uu[/i]k'! As if one is not as bad as the other!   

And judging from his history of covering up things . . . I bet 'sucking' is actually 'fin[i]ger[/i]ing'!   

Your idea that he somehow deserves some 'slack' because he 'confessed' is preposterous. Whether he keeps lying about it or not does not change the fact that he's a cheat and should be ashamed of himself!

God punish any 'sister' I find near my husband. I swear, I will 'deliver' her out of her idiocy!

queend:

Ify thanks 4 advice

Uju

I wonder. If he had been remorseful it would hv been easier to deal with but with this attitude I wonder when he wld do it again.

Don't go driving yourself crazy think about when and how he will do it again.

I think you should take Ify's advice . . .  It's not like you are not doing your best already, but you might want to look to the future and determine how best to ensure that such things don't happen again.

I wish you the best!   

You attitude made him not to show remorse.Y r u sulking and for what? You shld be very happy d guy opened up to you and try to get over it.
Fine you hv every right to be angry but dont overdo it to d extent that he wuld n ot show remorse. You shldnt have slept in d parlour like you said, if i were you i wuld use silence to to tear him apart. Altho its not easy but you can still do dat and he wil be wondering what your next line of action wuld be.
Instead u acted like a really woman by leaving d bed to sleep in the sitting room. Were u thinking he wuld spend the whole nite begging you?
My sister just congratulate your star that d guy told u the truth dats even if its d whole truth.
Do  u think wit ds your attitude he wuld ever want to tell u any of such again or if a woman is trying to woe him outside or in d office?
Ladies, lets always handle issues wit maturity. Whn he comes  in surprise him, with your romance, try to be unpredictable, give him his food and even feed and have hot and passionate s3x wit him. The guy go fear u eeeee and at the same time respect your maturity
Sorry i didnt mean to be harsh.

@ Nikky

Are you still single, Cos I'm applying. No mind Uju, if na she, the man for dey sanko, Lol

.

hmm

Okija_juju:

@ Nikky

Are you still single, Cos I'm applying. No mind Uju, if na she, the man for dey sanko, Lol

If you try to cheat on me eh . . . I swear I pour boiling water on your kini!

@ poster,
True, infidelity is fast eating into the moral life of society like cancer attacking its victim,and shd be frowned at, but before you bury that husband of yours , have you ponder on the following points.

Why did he confess?
I can bet my life that most men will never divulge such scene esp. since there was no penetration. my guess is that your hobby is a "nice" guy , why, because he still has a conscience, though a bruised one but certainly not a dead one.

He confessed to ease himself of that burden, and had you handled it with maturity, it would have been one big triumph over the enemy. Let's pray he doesn't regret that|"noble act" of confessing to his wife.

Many will shout crucify him, but how many can find that courage to confess his/her misdeed to their hobby.

I am not commending your hobby's action but i believe there are many ways to punish culprit as this, certainly not walking out on him to sleep in the parlour, you said you could not sleep, i can bet he never slept either.

take it or leave it, you played a role in this situation, by act of omission.

So calm down, and handle this matter boldly, it is ,to me, not enough to cause a separation.

Come tell us , how you resolved this cos many would love to learn from you.

I need an avenue to let out my anger.

And to add salt to injury, he still wants to keeps d lady as friend.

Ujujoan:

If you try to cheat on me eh . . . I swear I pour boiling water on your kini!

and if you cheat on me. . . . . i swear i will_ _ _ _ _ _ _

fill in the gap

queend:

I need an avenue to let out my anger.

And to add salt to injury, he still wants to keeps d lady as friend.

now that one is a NO NO

you need to put your foot down

but then again he can still see her behind you

keep her as a friend ke? if you still want your husband, become his best friend ,work as a team and kick her out.

It is about time you stopped sulking and communicate with your husband put your foot down hard on the ground and make your hubby realise that no decisions should be made without you.

Na wa for men of these days sef,haba

Kai, so the foolish woman is still lingering around ya husband ? You better step up and find ways to destroy their friendship. I'm sure she's a mami water pikin.

.

You guys are the bomb, You last posts actually got me laffing espcially the teaching lesson part.

queend:

I need an avenue to let out my anger.

And to add salt to injury, he still wants to keeps d lady as friend.

isaid it earlier that he might not tell u d whole truth. He may also told u he wants to keep her as a friend just to stir up ur anger.
I know it is not easy but like somebody said he may still be seeing her at ur back which will be worse.
Madam, since she is just a friend, please try and win ur husband back fast.
You dnt  hv to be angry here cos you are really giving him space to go to her.
If na fire or thunder u wan call to scatter dir rship please do.
The issue cant b resolved by venting ur anger but silence and ur matured approach will resolve the issue.
Men are so brutal that the more u raise the roof d deeper dey go in2 dat rship.
Please dnt throw ur husband into the lion's mouth roaming about looking for who to devour ooo

@ Chaircover.

May I ask how old you are.

Your advice are always on point.

YOu  sure u should not have your own Problem page on a daily paper in Uk,. Am guessing you are based in UK.

SO MANY PEOPLE WILL BENEFIT FROM IT, especially issues to do with Marriage.

Hats off to you Chaircover

queend:

I need an avenue to let out my anger.

And to add salt to injury, he still wants to keeps d lady as friend.

How did u reach this conclusion  

If you are still interested in this marriage:
Wait for the dust to settle,don't rush things or rush ur husband to make decisions.
Talk less,act more.You don't necessarily have to issue ultimatums abt this issue,Action works and says lots.
You know the loopholes  from which this woman crawls in,block it all off and make urself available for all the services she had been offering.Kill the friendship without talking,make her useless by becoming useful in all the areas where it appears she had the upper hand.
If she comes to prophesy in ur home,please become a prophetess too and counter all her prophesy right in her presence,match her,strength for strength without going violent or as much as saying much.
You no bi woman again   use every and all things God has blessed u with to corner and make ur husband submit to only ur prophesy    he no go even know when he end dat friendship.

OR .  . .If you really don't care much abt the marriage:
Tell him he has to stop and kill the relationship with the woman,by force or issue threats.
Call or visit the woman and warn her(fight allowed) to stay away from ur home and husband.
Tell ur Pastor,friends and Family.
If all don't work get urself a  man friend too.

If I were you,I wud stoop to conquer.  
Im yet to hear of a folklore where the tortoise died a loser . . .cunny man die na cunny man dey bury am.  

Madam in the first place u made a mistake by allowing a single lady to be that close to ur husband, when i was to get married to my husband i told him not to introduce any single lady to me as friend and i won't do same i don't encourage single ladies in my home u should be tanking God she did not get pregnant for him before u got back, alot of things are happening be wise and move on.

r231:

and if you cheat on me. . . . . i swear i will_ _ _ _ _ _ _

fill in the gap

I swear I will never cheat on you . . . I will just 'suck'!

ifyalways:

How did u reach this conclusion  

If you are still interested in this marriage:
Wait for the dust to settle,don't rush things or rush your husband to make decisions.
Talk less,act more.You don't necessarily have to issue ultimatums abt this issue,Action works and says lots.
You know the loopholes  from which this woman crawls in,block it all off and make urself available for all the services she had been offering.Kill the friendship without talking,make her useless by becoming useful in all the areas where it appears she had the upper hand.
If she comes to prophesy in your home,please become a prophetess too and counter all her prophesy right in her presence,match her,strength for strength without going violent or as much as saying much.
You no bi woman again   use every and all things God has blessed u with to corner and make your husband submit to only your prophesy    he no go even know when he end dat friendship.

OR .  . .If you really don't care much abt the marriage:
Tell him he has to stop and kill the relationship with the woman,by force or issue threats.
Call or visit the woman and warn her(fight allowed) to stay away from your home and husband.
Tell your Pastor,friends and Family.
If all don't work get urself a  man friend too.

If I were you,I wud stoop to conquer.  
Im yet to hear of a folklore where the tortoise died a loser . . .cunny man die na cunny man dey bury am.  

Ify, thanks . I like ur post

@ poster

He still wants to remain friends with the woman?      

Your husband's lack of remorse is scary . . . I mean who does that    

I wouldn't give up my marriage because of this matter, honestly this is a simple and easy matter ,it seriously is.  Your hubby is just doing shakara jare and trying to get ya attention. Tie the bloody guy on your bed post and s.h.a.g his brains out and see if he will not denounce her and at the same time sign you a cheque for your x5 abi hummer jeep a little bit more action and he'll be signing you a check for a private jet,don't forget to leave his cheque book close by

Nothing do you dear. There  is a gap in the emotional communication between your man and yourself and that's where that strange woman is coming in from. Fill that gap up darling

ifyalways:

How did u reach this conclusion  

If you are still interested in this marriage:
Wait for the dust to settle,don't rush things or rush your husband to make decisions.
Talk less,act more.You don't necessarily have to issue ultimatums abt this issue,Action works and says lots.
You know the loopholes  from which this woman crawls in,block it all off and make urself available for all the services she had been offering.Kill the friendship without talking,make her useless by becoming useful in all the areas where it appears she had the upper hand.
If she comes to prophesy in your home,please become a prophetess too and counter all her prophesy right in her presence,match her,strength for strength without going violent or as much as saying much.
You no bi woman again   use every and all things God has blessed u with to corner and make your husband submit to only your prophesy    he no go even know when he end dat friendship.

I agree completely with this post . . .
   

Shey una dey see wetin I talk, Only to tell Nikky good afternoon she don already put kettle for fire. Lol

Uju shey u dey notice say na only ur advice different, Abeg cool down for Jesus. The day wey the man go commit beta wan, you fit even cook otapiapia for am. Lol

@ Mengi

May the God of Shedrach, Mishak and Alex Ferguson continue to bless u for that advice,

#@OP

Stop to add wetinn the guy no talk so that we go pity you, No man will confess his infidelity to his wife and still keep the participating offender as a friend, Na wah o! Now I am even begining to doubt this story,
Keep her as a friend for wetin? Ehn owe her money? Abi her bobby wey ehn suck contain cowbell chocolate?! And by the way, you tell us say you para comot for room after ehn tell you so were una dey talk this friend matter? No carry elders play o!

@ the following posters

Lolo Chaircover
Odozi Aku Ify
Eze Nwayi Nikky
Sotfgirl (like the sucked bobby)
Jenny babe

Una too gbaski! Abeg help me talk sense into the OP, Only sucking, she wan cut ehn lip commot like say na sharia law. Maybe she would have preffed it if she had continued in her ignorance whilst her husband continued the night vigil and prayer meetings to "suck" out the demons,