I have heard a lot of stories about high bride price situations in naija. I know we all know the tribe that wins this cup, but let's leave that matter.

My curiosity is with the women in these situations. When you see your boo accosted with some terrible looking brideprice requests, what have/would you do/done to introduce reason into the matter? Or are the very same Ibo (OOPS! ) women accomplices to the plan to bankrupt the man she is about to live with?

And to the women who are, are you okay soaking garri for the first few years after your wedding?
Even that one sef could be a luxury that could only be once in a while judging by the obvious amount of debt YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND have to deal with after paying all that gbese to your people, not to talk of wedding tinz. Or is it after the wedding and after life start una eye dey open?

I'm curious. Do share...

EDIT: When I say brideprice, I also mean the dreaded "LIST" as well.

pride price?
2buff - let me have what you are smoking, abeg!

coogar: pride price?
2buff - let me have what you are smoking, abeg!

It would appear YOU are the one seeing double now my dear chap

2buff:
It would appear YOU are the one seeing double now my dear chap

you quickly changed it, eh?

women now kick against this tradition.....they confront their parents to drop the ridiculous list as it makes the bride's family look hungry. the issue is very straight forward - if one cannot afford the brideprice, don't get married.

i know a woman who paid her own bride pricw

tobechi74: i know a woman who paid her own bride pricw

paid it to who? her own parents?

He has to pay the bride price biko.

I know a village in Igbo land you bring one goat and kobos then you take ur bride home.

The problem now is how to get the kobos!

There you have to pay for the kobos...

As for the ridiculous prices, just ask for price reduction! All na market! Just bargain right!

what is kobos and what is the name of this village?

2buff: I have heard a lot of stories about high bride price situations in naija. I know we all know the tribe that wins this cup, but let's leave that matter.

My curiosity is with the women in these situations. When you see your boo accosted with some terrible looking brideprice requests, what have/would you do/done to introduce reason into the matter? Or are the very same Ibo (OOPS! ) women accomplices to the plan to bankrupt the man she is about to live with?

And to the women who are, are you okay soaking garri for the first few years after your wedding?
Even that one sef could be a luxury that could only be once in a while judging by the obvious amount of debt YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND have to deal with after paying all that gbese to your people, not to talk of wedding tinz. Or is it after the wedding and after life start una eye dey open?
I'm curious. Do share...

Lol, I think huge brideprice wouldn't be an issue if the woman is strong headed and puts her foot down.
I've never been to traditional marriage before, so I don't have much input.
I've asked my dad a million times about what brideprice entails in my place, all he says is that when the time comes they will negotiate.

I think brideprice is different from the list/demands from the family. Brideprice doesn't cost much, it's the list that is the problem.

coogar: what is kobos and what is the name of this village?

Naira and kobo....

Village in anambra state. Can't remember the name! Near nnamdi azuikiwe uni.

stillwater: I think brideprice is different from the list/demands from the family. Brideprice doesn't cost much, it's the list that is the problem.

It depends on the tribe, in kalabari..the bride price is damn expensive. Very expensive that you can go to borrow from bank!

Some people try to escape it though but if the lady should die, even at old age, they have to bury her in her home town!

Got friends there

@coogar, there is another tribe that accept he-goat in exchange for the bride!

The he-goat should also have a very long goatee beard! True story!

Got a friend from there too!

My(our) own is not expensive at all, its just 1k and them go give you balance o.

They might just decide to take 5naira out of it and give you back 995 naira or the may take 999 naira and give you back 1 naira, it all depends on your inlaws but bottomline is, something must return to the groom to be from the 1k.

Oya suitors start coming .

freecocoa: My(our) own is not expensive at all, its just 1k and them go give you balance o.

They might just decide to take 5naira out of it and give you back 995 naira or the may take 999 naira and give you back 1 naira, it all depends on your inlaws but bottomline is, something must return to the groom to be from the 1k.

Oya suitors start coming .

Are you not an Ibo girl?
LIES! It's a trap fellas!

Errr.. I don't know.
Novice

But I heard in IMO state, it is been paid according to what the girl studied in school.
Say, #100,000 for a medical doctor
#80,000 for a veterinary doctor
#50,000 for a pharmacist
#30,000 for bankers.. And so on
I don't know o. It is what I heard. Nobody should crucify me please

staicey: Errr.. I don't know.
Novice

But I heard in IMO state, it is been paid according to what the girl studied in school.
Say, #100,000 for a medical doctor
#80,000 for a veterinary doctor
#50,000 for a pharmacist
#30,000 for bankers.. And so on
I don't know o. It is what I heard. Nobody should crucify me please

For you I no go mind whatever your mama say make I pay ....if at all she want make I pay....hopefully not.
I really don't wanna feel like I am buying someone's child.

If God blesses me with a daughter, even if I ask for the brideprice, I think I will then instantly in the same breath of the transaction put jara on top and give it to the couple to use to build their life...

Quite interesting.
Saw a list from a south-south village.
Bride price was #2000.
But the list was like #200k!
They even put benson cigarrette and snuff!
Funny,but true.

I don't know where u guys get d generalization thing from.I agree in some places,the bride price can be scary but not everywhere.I'm ibo and in my lga,what u pay and do is really small.infact after payin d dowry,ur family will take little amt and return d rest to ur guy's pple.its customary.
All those other things u c pple doin is just copy cat, not in most constitutions.but bc u want to impress pple,u can do some outrageous thing and blame it on ur gal's pple.

yellowpawpaw: I don't know where u guys get d generalization thing from.I agree in some places,the bride price can be scary but not everywhere.I'm ibo and in my lga,what u pay and do is really small.infact after payin d dowry,ur family will take little amt and return d rest to ur guy's pple.its customary.
All those other things u c pple doin is just copy cat, not in most constitutions.but bc u want to impress pple,u can do some outrageous thing and blame it on ur gal's pple.

So the "Lists" I have seen are copycat tinz?
Doubt it.

@ALL: When I say brideprice, I also mean the dreaded LIST as well

2buff:

Are you not an Ibo girl?
LIES! It's a trap fellas!

No jokes o, that's the bride price and I know they don't give long list.

freecocoa: No jokes o, that's the bride price and I know they don't give long list.

Long and short is a relative term

If they are unreasonable about the price Postpone the wedding till you can afford it while you continue to chop the girl

When she clocks 35 and you still havent gathered the money, She would go take a loan to pay her own brideprice

Has anyone seen hausa marriage list before? You go fear list.

The yorubas dont ask for much.i remember when i was way younger,i asked my mom why yorubas dont demand much and just allow you to pay whatever comes from your mind.she told me that if we say the man should start paying,honestly he would not be able to afford you because you are invaluable.no amount of money a man pays can buy the affection,struggle,guidiance and passion of a parent to her daughter aside from the money she has spent from antenatal,to diapers to school fees,text books all the way from primary to university,in short no man can buy the love i have for you moreover you are not a productor property to be 'bought' and so because we dont want any man to treat you like his property,we dont demand,if at all we demand,not much,because we have trained you to be a wife.secondly if the man abuses you in the marriage or subjects you to violence,we will have the justification to intervene and give him back his bride price but if he collects so much,we will not have the moral justification.i dont know why other tribes collect so much o,but i know we yorubas dont collect much.infact when my sister got married apart from the yam,2 packs of sweet,5packs of salt,6 pieces of buiscuits etc in hampers,he gave his wife's siblings 2,ooonaira each OUT OF HIS OWN VOLITION.NO ONE ASKED HIM

dayokanu: If they are unreasonable about the price Postpone the wedding till you can afford it while you continue to chop the girl

When she clocks 35 and you still havent gathered the money, She would go take a loan to pay her own brideprice

smh :/

Vikin: @coogar, there is another tribe that accept he-goat in exchange for the bride!

The he-goat should also have a very long goatee beard! True story!

Got a friend from there too!

what's the name of this tribe? if i want 5 wives, it means i only need to provide 5 billy-goats? nice!!!'

2buff:

So the "Lists" I have seen are copycat tinz?
Doubt it.

@ALL: When I say brideprice, I also mean the dreaded LIST as well

I'm not disputin what u said bro, but whatever they present to u is mostly not from d kindred official list.a father or whoever can add anything he wants to add and how can u know which one is which?
That's why ladies that allow such outrageous bills collaborated with d family to milk their spouses dry.
Ladies don't make investigations. Also how come two friends will marry at d same place and still not pay d same thing.
Durin my time,I asked my close cousin to get d official list for me,I was suprisd it wasn't much. My FIL had to ask whether we got d correct one!for eg,official list might say 10 tubers of yam while d list given to u will say 30.u will never know. The mother will add her own simply bc she want to impress her fellow women.why I'm explainin dis is that guys should use their head and not heart when dealin with things like dis, especially if u r from another state.most times when u treaten,d list will reduce. If u ever get that kind of bil,.hold ur woman, she know what to do unless u want to take style swallow shiit.

These days,one can do everythin d same day!pride price,trado and weddin.infact that's d norm.its only pple that don't want their children to marry dat will still hold on to d old tradition and I'm sure it gets beta as time goes on.
One of my cous livin in enugu married an enugu state lady. He officially went to their house with our pple six times b4 pride price! Hv forgotn d town. He couldn't meet up anymore.luckily d lady's bro is a rev father.they did morning mass weddin. Now he is at d village.
Ladies,d real thing starts after d colourful celebration! Either way,u will pay for it and those pple u tried impresin won't lend u a shoulder to cry on unless u r extremely lucky cos it always backfires.

kulyie: The yorubas dont ask for much.i remember when i was way younger,i asked my mom why yorubas dont demand much and just allow you to pay whatever comes from your mind.she told me that if we say the man should start paying,honestly he would not be able to afford you because you are invaluable.no amount of money a man pays can buy the affection,struggle,guidiance and passion of a parent to her daughter aside from the money she has spent from antenatal,to diapers to school fees,text books all the way from primary to university,in short no man can buy the love i have for you moreover you are not a productor property to be 'bought' and so because we dont want any man to treat you like his property,we dont demand,if at all we demand,not much,because we have trained you to be a wife.secondly if the man abuses you in the marriage or subjects you to violence,we will have the justification to intervene and give him back his bride price but if he collects so much,we will not have the moral justification.i dont know why other tribes collect so much o,but i know we yorubas dont collect much.infact when my sister got married apart from the yam,2 packs of sweet,5packs of salt,6 pieces of buiscuits etc in hampers,he gave his wife's siblings 2,ooonaira each OUT OF HIS OWN VOLITION.NO ONE ASKED HIM

Yorubas don't pay much like u said but d owambes,asoebi and d likes will still milk d man dry.

That's why you should marry a girl with reasonable parents. Tradition or not,no sensible parent would want to make things difficult for any in-law especially when they know his pocket.
Most of those traditional requirement are so unnecessary. Makes you wonder if its a family of hungry people.
The weddings I've seen lately though, parents just demand the basics. Nothing overwhelming for the groom and that's how it should be.