I was drunk to the extent that I vomited and when my mom asked me to clean it up I went to the well drew water took it to the room and poured it on myself

But u know if u drink u will go to heaven...

I remembered when i went to buy Guinness in a beer parlour,,,it was during the time of Michael Jackson's death..there was this two men who was very drunk and was chating about Michael Jackson
the first one said i knw Michael Jackson can dance,,but Sunny okposo dance better nd d second one said u are right,,,even Michael Jackson knows.......
Anyday i remember this i still laugh....

Dere is dis man dat got drunk and he came back to his house after opening d door to his room he fail on d floor in front of his room so in d midnight he was so press so he woke and went inside his room and urinate and he comes outside and start sleeping again. Can u imagine dat.

Emusan: This reminds me the story of two drunker coming from a friend's party, getting to a junction and ask a taxi driver to take them to the same junction they were standing. The driver ask them to enter and charge each #200. He starts the car and raised the car voooooom! and then stopped the car and then ask for his money. The one in front ask so fast....the driver reply..... Yes!

The one at the back seat, just give the drive a slap from back ....paaaaa
.....the driver thought he get his logic....

And the man said stupi.d boy thats how they we be endanger people's life with overspeed.

Take your money.

bros dis1 na film na..lol

back in dos days @ sch,,my roomate waz so high wit alcohol,,he went tu bathroom tu tk his bath,,next tin i heard was O BOY DIS SHOWER NO DE RUSH OO,,i wz like but am hearin d sound of shower naa,,de guy wz like NO DE FOLLO MI ARGUE,,CUM CEE AM NAA,,as i opened d bathroom,,d stupid guy was stll dressed backed himself at one edge of d bathroom

My guy 4got his pam-sandals nd went home barefootd afta downloadin packets of don simon. Lolz!! as 4 me, i had 2 stagger 2 my nd slept 4 six hours straight. Oh men! Dat drink baaaadt

very funny stuff indeed
3 men upon drinking to stupor eventually decided to go to sleep....somehow they ended up climbing to the topmost floor of an uncompleted 3-storey building (obviously they missed the way home!)..all 3 laid down and slept off. 30mins later, one gets up to pee. Seeing everywhere was flat and open, he decides to move a little further to a 'bush'......hahahahahahah!!!! He walked on until he fell off the building! He didn't die though but he broke all his bones. Just last year he eventually died.....he rode his motorcycle straight into an on-coming pick-up truck after drinking heavily.

Unimke_Ak: Not even true, no matter ur level of intoxication wif alcohol, u still gonnA be aware of ursef, u can't place ur feet on the table and tink u've lost a body part. That's the work of weed for the weak minds.

However, I can't really describe the feeling of a high level of alcohol intoxication bt say a combo of " u wanna throw up, ur dizzy, wanna use d toi, severe headaches, ur Stomach turnIng upside down" still u gonna be self conciouS bt drowsy.

But if u've never prayed to God Saying if he pulls u tru and if u dnt die dt night u'll neva taste alcohol again in ur life then u've nt drank yet.

Word nigga, i swear down, being drunk has never been a reason for me to hold a girl in the boob, rape a biatch or do crazy ishes. The thing is you might think of it but in your mind you still know it's wrong. But you just don care.
Word again nizzle

In my 3rd year in skool, I got so drunk on a friday night out that I had 2 raise 1 leg and hang it on a fence (just like a dog) so I cld wee

Getting drunk ain't fun!

This happen to me 2010 I was wit my friends in the market gisting then they were braging abt the amount they can consume sum say 5bottle sum say 7 me I say 3bottle then dey say if we close from work dey wud buy 3 for me b/cos I was the youngest dey order gulder for me mah guys sum don finish 4/5 bottles I still dey my 1bottles I finish 1 dey order for anoda 1 for my mind I say (jam 2day) I manage drink half of it menh dz guys consume 5 to 10bottles I still dey my 1and half my eye began to turn me dey started laffing and me oya going home I started stargring and falling on the road oo and I dink eat anytin except d food I ate for lunch I reach auz I lay down on d chair in our parlour god save me nobody was @ home I started breathing high my stomach started jumping next ting I knw I don vomit the gulder cover every nooks and kranny in our house my dad came back from work he dint notice I was drunk and vomit my mum came back to she dint knw only my j_sis saw d vomit and taught it was malt she den carry me to my room I woke up around 2 menh see hungry my stomach started biting me ehn and I was 18yrs old @ then Sheyb av shared my experience abi?

Well, i was once a victim. After drinking to stupour on a cool sunday eve outside the house, only to to wake up in the morning in th house still putting on my suit and shoes i wore the the previous day. What a transition!!

I remember one drunk man that was kneeling down and politely greeting sheeps and rams on the way. He greeted them gently 'good evening sirs'. Of course they are animals they wont respond, so he got angry and blurted out 'i greeted you people gently, you did not reply, later you wil be the ones to say we should be greeting our elders'. Very halirious indeed.

Just a few days ago, I went to watch a football match someplace in Abuja, After the match I decided to walk back home, only for me to see a distant figure really struggling to walk, he was staggering all over the place. The next thing I heard from this drunk was ," Oh God come down and Manifest your Power' u stopped and could not stop laughing. I was left wondering if the Alchohol has given him enough courage to challenge God to a fight or if he was calling on God to use His power and help him get home.

Decryptor: There was this night a musician named Davido was drunk on his way from the club with his friends. They stopped at a check-point where some MOPOL officers ordered for a stop and search and instead of this Davido guy to behave himself, he jumped out from the vehicle like a monkey and was shouting ontop of his voice, "Don't you know who i am? How dare you stop me?"
Na so one of the MOPOL guy just land Davido slap Kpawammmmm! And Davido was like
If not for the other guys, the boy would have lost his life that day!

my guy na lie as the mopol give davido just 1 dirty slap na davido je je_ly jump enter motor by himself him no talk anytin till dem reach aus menh dat mopol rilly give davido a manuall default settings

december 26 last year. i was groovin wit friends, after some bottles i decided to be heading home but when i reached and sat in my car, i started souting that "won ti ji steerin mi yo lo ooooo" (they ve stolen my stering !!!), alas, i was at back seat.lol
i didnt kno how i got home. this story was narrated to me by friends and....... my wife who said i pissed in the wardrope thinkin it was a toilet... ko rerin rara ooo

Policewoman: Wetin una want make i talk now?

Anything talkable madam, hehehe!

mr_man: I remember when I went out with some friends sometime ago. One of my friends wore a stud and got so drunk he started misbehaving, he grab a girls b00bs on our way out of the bar and the girl gave him a dirty slap that made his stud fall inside the gutter, next thing we knew the guy was dipping his hand into the gutter and crying. Haaaa eti mi oo, eti mi ti jabo si gutter(ha my ear has fallen into the gutter) nobody could calm him down he wept like a baby.we still call him Eti till this day.

Classic!

Hic! i WAs NOT dRunk hic! but the officer said he is charging me for drunkenness hic!it was not my fault That all tHE READS leAding to my house where sudenNly filled with gotter Hic~! im only being careful Not To FaLL INSIde!!

floragregs: The OP faked his story. One comedian done talk the joke before! Let's stop recycling jokes abeg, its dry!

so if one comedian has said it bfr, it therefore means it cnt happen again Na wa to uuu ooo

Many of the stories on this thread are lies

I got drunk and hide my phone inside pillow case, it took me three days before one of my girl friend found it. I already lied to my oga that they stole my phone.

Emusan: This reminds me the story of two drunker coming from a friend's party, getting to a junction and ask a taxi driver to take them to the same junction they were standing. The driver ask them to enter and charge each #200. He starts the car and raised the car voooooom! and then stopped the car and then ask for his money. The one in front ask so fast....the driver reply..... Yes!

The one at the back seat, just give the drive a slap from back ....paaaaa
.....the driver thought he get his logic....

And the man said stupi.d boy thats how they we be endanger people's life with overspeed.

Take your money.

guy you wicked @least u chop slap for the 2H na

Lol. I remember wen i was a kid, a palmwine tapper brought some thick, undiluted palmy and i guzzled d sweet, fresh liquid til my belly was full. D next thing i knew was i woke up about 6 hours later on a thick bush path where huge snakes slither around and small wild animals roam. D irony of it isam not sure i'v heard a more peaceful sleep all my life. it felt like heaven! Dats d deceit of alcohol.

I also once heard of somone who got so drunk at a bar dat his memory went into reboot mode dat he forgot he parked his sleek, millenium car at d bar; and instead took an okada home.

timpaker: I remember when I was in owerri for a a friend's wedding and I got drunk at the bachelor's eve and while heading to my hotel room with my friends in a keke napep I fell off from my sit after the driver made a sharp bend....bn drunk, I gathered sand and made a a pillow with it and started sleeping. I slept till I saw myself in a police station.

OMG lol...guy u na jamesz bond...hahaha very funny

Flashback to last year's christmas Eve, I got proper drunk with my friends, we were all going home and while alighting from the bus, I showed my bus pass to the bus driver and everyone in the bus started laughing. Felt so ashamed

nyabingi: Hic! i WAs NOT dRunk hic! but the officer said he is charging me for drunkenness hic!it was not my fault That all tHE READS leAding to my house where sudenNly filled with gotter Hic~! im only being careful Not To FaLL INSIde!!

guy tho...hic

fellis: Many of the stories on this thread are
lies

see d lighter side sister friend .

Real men dnt get drunk . They get sober from too much soaking.

And they step on the throttle like there is no tommorow.
Fly potholes like James Omokiniovo Bond.
Ram into parked cars and houses, skip açross road dividers and spin wonderful stunts. They got 9ne lives!

Back in sch, he got so sober, he staggered to a junction and stood. Hoping to cross over to his ride and wheel home. He saw far incoming cars as so near and the ones that are near as sooo far off. in his view, he wud want to cross when d cars appear far but people would scream and d driver wud speed вч cursing. When d cars appear close, people waiting to cross would cross yet in his mind he would think them stupid.after a couple of failed attempts, he couldn't take it no more, left his car across and had a trek home.

2) he kept bragging about been a Don pro with bottles, until his birthday came and his friends f'ed him up with strange hard ones. He was too useless thereafter, some suggested he ß dropped in a Gutter and left there which dey did(after taking shots) Only ƒoя the ladies to start crying and they turned back to pick him up. b4 they got back, boys had raided him, made away with his swatch , wallet and gold chain. They got home and straight he went to d rest room. While d others played PES. Some1 later realised that he wasn't outa da rest room yet, lo and behold, his head was buried in the drum of water .

If only we got 9ne lives!

Ruq:

Word nigga, i swear down, being drunk has never been a reason for me to hold a girl in the boob, rape a biatch or do crazy ishes. The thing is you might think of it but in your mind you still know it's wrong. But you just don care.
Word again nizzle

I believe drunk pass drunk o.
Ive seen a guy who gets so drunk after 2 bottles of beer. And i've seen someone drink 6 bottles and was still coherent.

Go and drink the ghanaian local gin called "five thousand"
Your story can never be narrated by you

i brought a new sony errickson P910i called my friends to come jolly with me,after much mezebu... got home hang my jeans and fall asleep. wake up around 12pm... wondering i havent had any call on my brand new phone, get to my jeans pocket.feel my fone... felt something then went back to sleep, after two hours.. wake up, feel the phone in my jeans pocket, but decided to make a call.dip my hand in my pocket. ALAS i brought out an opener with STAR boldly written on it. all i could say was WTF after looking at the pack of the phone.



Mehn... alcohol na bastard