Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,194,431 members, 7,954,696 topics. Date: Saturday, 21 September 2024 at 07:29 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? (1626 Views)
When Your House-help Is Straight From The Village (hilarious Photo) / Is Being Married And Having Kids A Stumbling Block To One's Dreams And Goals. / My Wedding Is In A Week And I Have Pimples All Over My Face. Help! (2) (3) (4)
Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by Ajebota(f): 4:08pm On May 06, 2008 |
It often follows that once a man and woman are married, babies are expected to start dropping. 1 year passes without kids and family members start using style 2 ask when the baby is coming. 2 years and your mother-in-law demands to know if you are barren. 3 years and people are looking for pastor to deliver you. 4 years, aaaah I wont go there. But honestly what do you think about this tendency in the Nigerian society for family members to be in your business? I dont plan to have kids right away after marriage, maybe wait 2-3 yrs, tell me will I survive? |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by algood(f): 5:02pm On May 06, 2008 |
Sure u will survive it, so far it is the agreement between you and your husband, just be ready to close ur ears to the noise around you concerning the issue and be focused. The heat will definitely come, especially from your in laws, but jsut be prepared. |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by babyx(f): 5:07pm On May 06, 2008 |
@poster Its your marriage not your parents' nor yourv in-laws' Waiting a little while longer before bearing kids is for both of you to decide. Have a good reason , in agreement with your spouse and stick to it come hell or high water. People get married for different reasons, so why did u get married?, answer the question and stick to it in your heart. I have a friend who is married but mentioned to me that he would have loved to wait a little longer before having kids, because he wants to enjoy the 100% attention from his wife, ! So pal bottomline what do you want? |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by kolaoloye(m): 5:19pm On May 06, 2008 |
It is not a must,just a matter of choice. |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by Tonim(f): 6:23pm On May 06, 2008 |
lol. Yes, our people are always like that. You and your husband just have to explain to them that you are just taking your time, but I don't think this would keep them from asking. |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by Nobody: 6:37pm On May 06, 2008 |
kola oloye: Easier said than done. The society we live in dosent give us much of a choice and thats the fact!! Its not compulsory, but its important. |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by Ajebota(f): 6:07pm On May 07, 2008 |
babyx: Yeah would definitely want to enjoy time alone with my husband and settle into married life first. Also finances must be sorted out before babies start coming. Is just that why can't people mind their own business and face their own marriages? And why is it the norm for people to have kids straight after marriage? |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by Ajebota(f): 6:07pm On May 07, 2008 |
Ujujoan: Why do you say it is important? Please explain |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by Nobody: 9:10am On May 08, 2008 |
Well, procreation is a divine order form God, Multiply, fill the Earth. The idea is that to procreate, you have to get married so as to avoid fornication. So why shd you then get married and decide not to have kids yet. Then why rush into the marriage?? why not wait till you are ready to have kids. You might have a very good reason for wanting to wait, but then you are breaking the order, and thats definitely difficult to explain. |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by kolaoloye(m): 10:20am On May 08, 2008 |
Ujujoan: Have you forgotten that temptation is real? It is better to get married and stay as long as you wish before having children than to be indulging in pre-marital sex. What i will not support is the husband and wife going for abortion when "the unexpected" happens. Ujujoan: What order are you talking about? |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by Spermdrops(m): 12:31pm On May 08, 2008 |
Preferably before. To make sure I don't have to change their names and my name just incase I choose not to get married. Don't have to be married to have kids. Not really related in this day and age! That was old school. Not in vogue anymore. |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by ayomifull(f): 5:24pm On Jul 11, 2008 |
I waited 3 years to take care of my first |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by GoldFinch(m): 1:16am On Jul 13, 2008 |
No |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by benincitys(f): 1:27am On Jul 13, 2008 |
is always good to wait to enjoy the marrage before baby start to come , i got married 2004 and have my baby 2007 i told my family to mind their business is my live to live , having kids straight after wedding is not a must so do what you want not what their want you to do. |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by coolier(f): 2:10am On Jul 13, 2008 |
Ajebota: Thank your stars you're too far away from prying eyes of extended family. You and your husband can sit down and plan your family the way you want it without interference. |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by Radiant(f): 2:43pm On Jul 14, 2008 |
Why will you force me to have my own kids?? They no born u well. |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by lucabrasi(m): 7:37pm On Jul 14, 2008 |
theoretically its not a must and no one can tell the couples what to do,but in reality its not that easy to discountenance parents,friend's concerns and questions,especially nigerian family |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by Nobody: 8:15pm On Jul 14, 2008 |
No. I think it's best to enjoy your marriage and your husband, before thinking about having a kid. Take some trips, enjoying being alone, being together without interruption. Remember what they say, "Once you have children, it's not your life anymore." Most of your time, you spend it to take care of the kids and make sure to teach them what's wrong ad what's right. And don't forget, your husband came first. So you cannot forget to "baby" him and being a wife to him. |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by KarmaMod(f): 8:25pm On Jul 14, 2008 |
Personally I don't understand people who have kids immediately after the wedding. It's like DONT YOU WANNA ENJOY YOURSELF AND BREATHE? But hey that's their own business. Before you have to run after rugrats and screaming your head off and gain stupid weight and all that nonsense. I think waiting a year or two amkes alot more sense. if the whole family crap is the fear, then don't marry someone from an ignorant family. Simple |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by ifyalways(f): 9:53pm On Jul 14, 2008 |
@topic,not a MUST.i personally wud want to stay 2 yrs after wedlock b4 having kids.Have fun,explore and erhmm a little adventure. |
Re: Having Kids Straight After The Wedding, Is It A Must? by JasmineSie(f): 7:41am On Jul 15, 2008 |
its not a must to have kids after the marriage as long as u and ur husband have agreed on when u want kids why not enjoy each other b4kids atart droppin and all that seems to e in ur mind and thanks to the Nigerian mentality ur in-laws n vn ur own mom will most certainly disturb u when dey dnt c kids after a year or two so be prepared n just do wat u v in mind. 'cos wen d kids start droppin they wnt vn remember u waited some years. Its totally up 2u. |
(1) (Reply)
Your Ideal Job / Why Do Most Families In Nigeria Like To Cook Rice On Sundays / Co-tenant Beats A Neighbor For Playing Loud Music
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 31 |