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Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner - Family - Nairaland

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Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by swoosh(m): 11:29am On May 19, 2008
People always say you should tell your partner everything but does this really help matters all the time?
My gf told me when she was disvirgined and how many people she dated before me and I have never had the same regard for her ever since (now before some1 takes a swipe at me - I must admit that some men, like me, are not strong enough to handle certain facts).

So what must you not tell your partner?
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by sistajay(f): 12:37pm On May 19, 2008
Would you have preferred your girlfriend to keep her sexual past a secret or is it the fact she had more lovers than you that is upsetting you? Sexual jealousy is what most people go through when they hear about their partner's sexual past. Secrets can make or break a relationship and it will depend how emotionally strong you are. It's best not to keep secrets, secrets have a way of coming out.
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by Afribiz(f): 2:54pm On May 20, 2008
There are certain things one need not tell her partner.What i'm insinuating is that such things that are NOT necessary, and that can sabotage your relationship, especially your marriage, should be sealed for love and trust to abide. Image a woman telling her husband how her ex boyfriend used to make love to her, or how she used to be very close to him and all the members of his family even till date. How do you expect the man to feel, and what purpose has that served? I mean such past of yours should not intrude into your current, because, they'll certainly cause more harm than good. It is only the very VITAL ones that should be discussed, such as, if you've had a child(ren) before you met your partner. Such should not be kept secret, because it's only a matter of time before it bursts out, and you know what that means? Goodbye to either the relationship or to trust.
So my fellow nairalanders, be wise, be more matured, and let your relationship glow with pride.
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by Xiomarra: 5:11am On May 21, 2008
Tell your partner nothing of which you are not asked.

If your partner has breached your confidentiality once, he or she will do it again.  If your partner has a loose tongue, you are better off confiding in the devil.

Study your partner for at least 6 months before you tell him or her personal things about yourself.  Start with little things and see if it can be kept confidential.

Unless it concerns your partner in one or another, you may have to tell.  If not please learn to control your impulsive tendencies of "confessing" everything out of joblessness. 

Choose wisely what you may choose to tell.

I personally will never discuss past relationships.  Not his or her business. Medical history, yes.

My family problems, (like brothers', sisters' problems, e.t.c.) no!
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by ssRhino: 6:05pm On May 21, 2008
That you have a crush on her sister
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by chika98: 7:31pm On May 21, 2008
swoosh:

People always say you should tell your partner everything but does this really help matters all the time?
My girlfriend told me when she was disvirgined and how many people she dated before me and[b] I have never had the same regard for her ever since [/b] (now before someone takes a swipe at me - I must admit that some men, like me, are not strong enough to handle certain facts).

So what must you not tell your partner?
Things like these make my skin crawl. If you know you can't handle it why did you ask? You don't have the same regard for her ke? BS
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by RampantT(f): 9:31pm On May 21, 2008
. . . .and it'll remain a secret tongue
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by dejiman1: 9:38pm On May 21, 2008
all secrets will backfire.
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by RichyBlacK(m): 2:07am On May 22, 2008
That her mom has some nice boobies grin
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by origina9ja(f): 10:55am On May 22, 2008
undecidedabout tellin him everiithing
so 1 day when u break up
his gana use that against you init
depends, things bout my family like sista, brother, mum or dad
hell 2 the no neva not even when u carried away doing wateva lipsrsealed
sfe da rest typing 4 ppl dat will ague bak like no mans business init
, lol
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by ayomifull(f): 1:02pm On May 22, 2008
Marriage shoud be so intimate and one needs to be quite open to the other HOWEVER some restitutions are better made to God. Therefore, think of tomorrow when living your life today.

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Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by HRhotness(f): 2:13pm On May 22, 2008
Everyone needs to keep some secrets, it helps mainatain our individuality. . . . .  if your partner truely loves you they'd understand u had a past as did they and will trust you as you are now, the past shd not even matter and any guy who makes a big deal about a girls past is only displaying his lack of self confidence and quite frankly is a whimp!

Only tell what is rlevent, when its relevant, when asked and if u are positive they can handle it
there are somethings in my past I would never mention unless it is important to the relationship
randomly confessing is a no no, u are just looking for trouble.
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by Godalone(m): 4:27pm On May 22, 2008
There is no secret under the sun that is not known to God
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by liquid7: 6:12pm On May 22, 2008
something like ex lovers i would say yes if you are serious with this person .
Reason is you plan to make this guy or girl your final stop and its best to come clean to avoid any future mishaps.
Lets face it over the years you 2 will be partners there is a chance a jealous ex lover will try to cause trouble and if you came clean then it makes life much easier.
Here is an example that actually did happen .Day of some big wedding reception some drunk guy comes over to groom and starts saying how they dated so so years and what her best sex position was and what sounds she makes and when.And this was accurate ,so the groom went into a frenzy and a fight there.The wedding reception was halted as the groom's people were outraged .
Turned out she did indeed invite this guy and according to her ,the guy was her ex 4 years ago but has become a "friend" with her and actually advised her a lot.This part may also be very true .But because the groom never knew about the history and only knew him as a guy who occasionally phones her to chat,he was in serious doubt and it took ages to mend the problem.
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by HRhotness(f): 6:16pm On May 22, 2008
liquid7:

something like ex lovers i would say yes if you are serious with this person .
Reason is you plan to make this guy or girl your final stop and its best to come clean to avoid any future mishaps.
Lets face it over the years you 2 will be partners there is a chance a jealous ex lover will try to cause trouble and if you came clean then it makes life much easier.
Here is an example that actually did happen .Day of some big wedding reception some drunk guy comes over to groom and starts saying how they dated so so years and what her best sex position was and what sounds she makes and when.And this was accurate ,so the groom went into a frenzy and a fight there.The wedding reception was halted as the groom's people were outraged .
Turned out she did indeed invite this guy and according to her ,the guy was her ex 4 years ago but has become a "friend" with her and actually advised her a lot.This part may also be very true .But because the groom never knew about the history and only knew him as a guy who occasionally phones her to chat,he was in serious doubt and it took ages to mend the problem.


that is a ridiculous reason to call off a wedding, the guy obviously didn't trust her and d wedding probably wasnt meant to be. . . . . i say good riddance
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by liquid7: 6:23pm On May 22, 2008
HR.hotness:


that is a ridiculous reason to call off a wedding, the guy obviously didn't trust her and d wedding probably wasnt meant to be. . . . . i say good riddance

Reception .The wedding already took place .It ended in family talk and the usual nigerian way to get sorted.
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by origina9ja(f): 5:55pm On May 25, 2008
@liquid7
sadallow dat kind of problem i agress wif u man
things like that should be kno about before wedding
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by CrazyMan(m): 8:12pm On May 25, 2008
Things like abortion, too many ex lovers and other things that can be of great damage to you relationship must be buried deep down inside your heart.

Opening up to your partner can be very dangerous and can led to a break up.
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by krama(m): 1:52am On May 26, 2008
Well I guess some things are better not said, until asked.
But as a rule, never crucify your partner for opening up to you. You can discuss and agree on this principle from the onset.
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by onyinye2(f): 1:57am On May 26, 2008
I think people avoid things that potentially will be classified as a "secret". but if you do have "secrets" you should disclose them from the start because the longer you wait, the more pain it will cause.
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by ima1(f): 8:01am On May 26, 2008
there r some secrets that you should take to the grave, if you are absolutely sure it will destroy a happy home. but don't ask someone to reveal secrets you can't handle
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by Spermdrops(m): 7:10am On May 28, 2008
I don't think most people know the meaning of a "secret"! If I write them here, they are no longer secrets.

Is this an "April Fool's" day topic or what? undecided
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by LetThemSay: 9:14pm On May 28, 2008
Was that all she told u that u dey make noise, abeg comot jare. Havent u heard of women confessing to worse things. As long as say no be Horse or goat disvirgin am, I no get problem.
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by gentledove(f): 2:12pm On Jun 03, 2008
@ poster

i have never hidden anything from him. he knows everything about my past, present and we are planning the future together. the Bible made it clear that they were both naked and not ashamed. so far there is genuine love between the two of you, no matter how bad your past is, you should be able to tell your partner. got no secret. he knows it all and i know his too. wink cool
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by buzyDiva(f): 3:51pm On Jun 03, 2008
Spermdrops:

I[b] don't think most people know the meaning of a "secret"! If I write them here, they are no longer secrets. [/b]
Is this an "April Fool's" day topic or what? undecided

apparently not!
beats me o!
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by yemivictor: 4:05pm On Jun 03, 2008
Spermdrops:

I don't think most people know the meaning of a "secret"! If I write them here, they are no longer secrets.

Is this an "April Fool's" day topic or what? undecided

buzyDiva:

apparently not!
beats me o!

At least, there's still that thing called anonymous on this forum, mrs & miss Einstein!! tongue
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by yemivictor: 4:08pm On Jun 03, 2008
ima1:

there r some secrets that you should take to the grave, if you are absolutely sure it will destroy a happy home. but don't ask someone to reveal secrets you can't handle

How do you conclude you can't handle it when you've not even been tested with such information before!? undecided
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by Gamine(f): 4:16pm On Jun 03, 2008
I didnt know such secrets existed oh

then again it would be no secret lipsrsealed
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by tngtech(m): 4:59pm On Jun 03, 2008
@topic

I had sex with your mum. grin
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by seadice(m): 4:19pm On Jun 04, 2008
ima1:

there r some secrets that you should take to the grave, if you are absolutely sure it will destroy a happy home. but don't ask someone to reveal secrets you can't handle
just imagine that. what are those secret that people can handle why should you do things [secret] that you are not sure if you tell someone in future he or she can handle. play safe people and act responsibly.
tngtech:

@topic

I had sex with your mum. grin
serious stuffs for serious minded people
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by Novacaine(m): 4:24pm On Jun 07, 2008
Sometimes what a nigga dont know wont hurt him grin
Re: Secrets You Should Never Tell Your Partner by oziomatv(m): 5:25pm On Jun 07, 2008
If I can't tell such a secret to my partner then Nairaland with the most notorious gossip mongers and bussybodies will be the right place to say it out?

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