I find this funny but also informative i think id share with NL to make your day fun.
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Dear System Department
I am desperate for some help! Please can someone
help out?
I recently upgraded my program from girlfriend 5.0
to wife 1.0 and found that the new program began
unexpected child processing and also took up a lot
of space and valuable resources.
This was not mentioned in the product brochure in
addition wife 1.0 installed itself into all other
programs and launches during system
initializations and then it monitors all other system
activities. Applications such as ‘Boys’ Night out 2.5
and Golf 5.3 no longer run and crashes the system
whenever selected.
Attempting to operate selected ‘Saturday rugby
6.3’ always fails and ‘Saturday shopping 7.1’ run
instead. I cannot seem to keep wife 1.0 in the
background whilst attempting to run any of my
favorite applications. Be its on-line or off-line.
I am thinking of going back to ‘Girlfriend 5.0’ but
uninstall doesn’t work on this program. Can you
please help?
The Analyst replied
Dear customer
This is a very common problem resulting from a
basic misunderstanding of the functions of the wife
1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from
‘Girlfriend 5.0’ to ‘wife 1.0’ thinking that ‘wife 1.0’
is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT
PROGRAM.
Actually, ‘wife 1.0’ is an operating system designed
by it’s creator to run everything. You are unlikely to
be able to purge ‘wife 1.0’ and still convert back to
‘Girlfriend 5.0’ as ‘wife 1.0’ was not designed to do
this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge
the program files from the system once it is
installed. Some people have tried to install
‘Girlfriend 6.0’ or ‘wife 2.0’ but have ended up with
even more problems.
Having ‘wife 1.0’ installed, I recommend you keep
it installed and deal with the difficulties as best as
you can. When any faults or problems occur,
whatever you think has caused them, you must
run the C:\APLOGIZE\FORGIVE\ ME PROGRAM and
avoid attending to use the *Esc (escape) key for it
will freeze the entire system(admit your fault as
iron it out). It may be necessary to run C:
\APLOGIZE\PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR A NUMBER OF
TIMES, and eventually hope that the operating
system will return to normal “wife 1.0”, although a
very high maintenance program can be very
rewarding. And the benefits are so great. Long life
and rest of mind.
To get the most out of it, consider buying
additional software such as “flowers 2.0” and
chocolate or “HUGS\KISSES 100%” or
“TENDERNESS\UNDERSTANDING 100%(care) or
ever “eating out without the kids 5.1.2” (if child
processing has already started) DO NOT under any
circumstances install “secretary 2.1 (short skirt
version) or “one night stand 3.2”, as this is not a
supported application for “wife 1.0” and the system
will almost certainly CRASH. BEST OF LUCK
YOUR SYSTEM ANALYST
Caution
Any attempt to install program such as secretary
2.1 (the short skirt version) or one nightstand 3.2
to wife 1.0 is most likely to get result that might
expose your system to run immediately
demobilizing virus that completely destroy the
defense of your software and ultimately, but surely
leads to destruction of the hardware, the virus
called HIV 99.9.
(Written by Fashola Yetunde)
41 minutes ago
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