Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,137 members, 7,818,426 topics. Date: Sunday, 05 May 2024 at 03:17 PM

Hilarious ! Omg !,beware What You Search For Or Buy Online. - Politics - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Politics / Hilarious ! Omg !,beware What You Search For Or Buy Online. (940 Views)

As Arase Retires, Search For His Replacement Hots Up / Girl Killed In Aba Yesterday During The Search For IPOB Members / Politicians Who Cloned Or Buy PVCs Will be Disappointed - INEC (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

Hilarious ! Omg !,beware What You Search For Or Buy Online. by uzoo: 12:19pm On Aug 08, 2013
Hello Nairalanders, i have been rolling on the floor lol since i read this family's ordeal in the hands of the FBI ( joint terrorism task force).I guess this was Snowden's point exactly.. undecided. beware of what you google online ,or what you buy online. NO MORE PRIVACY FOR ANYONE!!

please read the lady's article,and have a good laugh.... cheesy ,i'm still laughing cheesy

https://medium.com/something-like-falling/2e7d13e54724
Re: Hilarious ! Omg !,beware What You Search For Or Buy Online. by skyfall: 1:43pm On Aug 08, 2013
pressure cookers, backpacks and quinoa, oh my!

It was a confluence of magnificent proportions that led six agents from the joint terrorism task force to knock on my door Wednesday morning. Little did we know our seemingly innocent, if curious to a fault, Googling of certain things was creating a perfect storm of terrorism profiling. Because somewhere out there, someone was watching. Someone whose job it is to piece together the things people do on the internet raised the red flag when they saw our search history.

Most of it was innocent enough. I had researched pressure cookers. My husband was looking for a backpack. And maybe in another time those two things together would have seemed innocuous, but we are in “these times” now. And in these times, when things like the Boston bombing happen, you spend a lot of time on the internet reading about it and, if you are my exceedingly curious news junkie of a twenty-year-old son, you click a lot of links when you read the myriad of stories. You might just read a CNN piece about how bomb making instructions are readily available on the internet and you will in all probability, if you are that kid, click the link provided.

Which might not raise any red flags. Because who wasn’t reading those stories? Who wasn’t clicking those links? But my son’s reading habits combined with my search for a pressure cooker and my husband’s search for a backpack set off an alarm of sorts at the joint terrorism task force headquarters.

That’s how I imagine it played out, anyhow. Lots of bells and whistles and a crowd of task force workers huddled around a computer screen looking at our Google history.

This was weeks ago. I don’t know what took them so long to get here. Maybe they were waiting for some other devious Google search to show up but “what the hell do I do with quinoa” and “Is A-Rod suspended yet” didn’t fit into the equation so they just moved in based on those older searches.

I was at work when it happened. My husband called me as soon as it was over, almost laughing about it but I wasn’t joining in the laughter. His call left me shaken and anxious.

What happened was this: At about 9:00 am, my husband, who happened to be home yesterday, was sitting in the living room with our two dogs when he heard a couple of cars pull up outside. He looked out the window and saw three black SUVs in front of our house; two at the curb in front and one pulled up behind my husband’s Jeep in the driveway, as if to block him from leaving.

Six gentleman in casual clothes emerged from the vehicles and spread out as they walked toward the house, two toward the backyard on one side, two on the other side, two toward the front door.

A million things went through my husband’s head. None of which were right. He walked outside and the men greeted him by flashing badges. He could see they all had guns holstered in their waistbands.

“Are you [name redacted]?” one asked while glancing at a clipboard. He affirmed that was indeed him, and was asked if they could come in. Sure, he said.

They asked if they could search the house, though it turned out to be just a cursory search. They walked around the living room, studied the books on the shelf (nope, no bomb making books, no Anarchist Cookbook), looked at all our pictures, glanced into our bedroom, pet our dogs. They asked if they could go in my son’s bedroom but when my husband said my son was sleeping in there, they let it be.

Meanwhile, they were peppering my husband with questions. Where is he from? Where are his parents from? They asked about me, where was I, where do I work, where do my parents live. Do you have any bombs, they asked. Do you own a pressure cooker? My husband said no, but we have a rice cooker. Can you make a bomb with that? My husband said no, my wife uses it to make quinoa. What the hell is quinoa, they asked.

They searched the backyard. They walked around the garage, as much as one could walk around a garage strewn with yardworking equipment and various junk. They went back in the house and asked more questions.

Have you ever looked up how to make a pressure cooker bomb? My husband, ever the oppositional kind, asked them if they themselves weren’t curious as to how a pressure cooker bomb works, if they ever looked it up. Two of them admitted they did.

By this point they had realized they were not dealing with terrorists. They asked my husband about his work, his visits to South Korea and China. The tone was conversational.

They never asked to see the computers on which the searches were done. They never opened a drawer or a cabinet. They left two rooms unsearched. I guess we didn’t fit the exact profile they were looking for so they were just going through the motions.

They mentioned that they do this about 100 times a week. And that 99 of those visits turn out to be nothing. I don’t know what happens on the other 1% of visits and I’m not sure I want to know what my neighbors are up to.

45 minutes later, they shook my husband’s hand and left. That’s when he called me and relayed the story. That’s when I felt a sense of creeping dread take over. What else had I looked up? What kind of searches did I do that alone seemed innocent enough but put together could make someone suspicious? Were they judging me because my house was a mess (Oh my god, the joint terrorism task force was in my house and there were dirty dishes in my sink!). Mostly I felt a great sense of anxiety. This is where we are at. Where you have no expectation of privacy. Where trying to learn how to cook some lentils could possibly land you on a watch list. Where you have to watch every little thing you do because someone else is watching every little thing you do.

All I know is if I’m going to buy a pressure cooker in the near future, I’m not doing it online.

I’m scared. And not of the right things.

CLARIFICATION AND UPDATE

We found out through the Suffolk Police Department that the searches involved also things my husband looked up at his old job. We were not made aware of this at the time of questioning and were led to believe it was solely from searches from within our house.

I did not lie or make it up. I wrote the piece with the information that was given. What was withheld from us obviously could not be a part of a story I wrote based on what happened yesterday.

The piece I wrote was the story as we knew it with the information we were told. None of it was fabricated. If you know me, you know I would never do that.

If it was misleading, just know that my intention was the truth. And that was what I knew as the truth until about ten minutes ago. That there were other circumstances involved was something we all were unaware of.

Thank you.
Re: Hilarious ! Omg !,beware What You Search For Or Buy Online. by uzoo: 5:54pm On Aug 08, 2013
@skiyfall

thanks for posting smiley
Re: Hilarious ! Omg !,beware What You Search For Or Buy Online. by Nobody: 7:09pm On Aug 08, 2013
Didn't catch the joke
Re: Hilarious ! Omg !,beware What You Search For Or Buy Online. by uzoo: 7:50pm On Aug 08, 2013
blink182: Didn't catch the joke

you didn't? .... ok recalling that the BOSTON MARATHON BOMB WAS MADE OUT OF A PRESSURE COOKER AND WAS PLACED IN A BACK PACK ,let me just high light some of the things (questions and answers.) that made me laugh.

1. Most of it was innocent enough. I had researched pressure cookers. My husband was looking for a backpack.

Joint Task force team asked Do you own a pressure cooker? My husband said no, but we have a rice cooker. Can you make a bomb with that? My husband said no, my wife uses it to make quinoa. What the hell is quinoa, they asked.
Apparently they are Hispanic or mexican family and Quinoa is some sort of food ,almost like lentils but takes a longer time to cook and i guess that was why the lady had Googled ''pressure cookers'' online. To make the cooking easier.

2. Joint Task Force asks Have you ever looked up how to make a pressure cooker bomb? My husband, ever the oppositional kind, asked them if they themselves weren’t curious as to how a pressure cooker bomb works, if they ever looked it up. Two of them admitted they did.

Curiousity they say kills the cat. This one's so funny.

3.What happened was this: At about 9:00 am, my husband, who happened to be home yesterday, was sitting in the living room with our two dogs when he heard a couple of cars pull up outside. He looked out the window and saw three black SUVs in front of our house; two at the curb in front and one pulled up behind my husband’s Jeep in the driveway, as if to block him from leaving.

Six gentleman in casual clothes emerged from the vehicles and spread out as they walked toward the house, two toward the backyard on one side, two on the other side, two toward the front door.

A million things went through my husband’s head. None of which were right. He walked outside and the men greeted him by flashing badges. He could see they all had guns holstered in their waistbands.


This last one just reminded of ''law and order'' and ''24'' or some holly wood crime series . I bet the guy was thinking they were shooting a movie in his neighbourhood. cheesy


i'm sorry but this is really really cracking me up each time i play the scene in my head. cheesy cheesy grin oh..wait a minute ..i'm still playing it in my head right now...bruuuaaaahahahahahah...lol cheesy cheesy
Re: Hilarious ! Omg !,beware What You Search For Or Buy Online. by drnoel: 8:03pm On Aug 08, 2013
waiting till this gets to other parts of the world if it does maybe europe would follow suit but then again, who knows when this will reach Nigeria
Re: Hilarious ! Omg !,beware What You Search For Or Buy Online. by Nobody: 8:22pm On Aug 08, 2013
lipsrsealed
Welcome to the future
1984, anybody?
Re: Hilarious ! Omg !,beware What You Search For Or Buy Online. by AbdH: 8:58pm On Aug 08, 2013
This doesn't seem funny to me anyway.

(1) (Reply)

Fashola Seals Off Kalu’s House / Former Governor Of Lagos Looking At A Woman's Boob / Alarm- US False Flag NUKE ATTACK To INCITE Syrian War In Days!!!!

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 32
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.