I am the kind of guy who try to live up to reputation, I have always been thought of as a tough guy and I play that script well. So when I fell in love, I was reluctant to admit it. However, I fell in love with my Secondary School sweetheart 4 years back, my friends told me stuffs about her that were not quite encouraging but I thought I could fix it and give our relationship a try.
She didn't disappoint and I must admit it I felt love like I have never felt before with her, well, that was before this year. Truth is, a lot has change from those rosy days I enjoyed with her. Our relationship had been bumpy and made even worse by the fact that we schooled in different states. I'm hurting as I write this piece, I have never been this vulnerable in my life. I will open up as much info as possible. Truth is, we were from different states, tribe and religion, yes we were and we got that look from folks when they see us together -like this is never gonna work. Well, at first, I wasn't in it for the long term, I saw our relationship like I have seen several others before her- as a package. The week I asked her out, I asked another girl that I have been long tripping for out too. I runz both of them simultaneously until my relationship with her strenghtened to a point my conscience started pricking me that I might be cheating. Since we at that time were not in the same school, when she came over to my place, I did what I have never done in my life, I told her I was seeing somebody and that it will stop as I didn't think our relationship was gonna be this serious to me, she admitted that she held on to her previous relationship loosely too and we both entered committed relationship then, don't blame us though, we were in our late teens then.
The next few months saw a different me, I was in love and my oh my! The feeling was non that I have experienced then, I let go of runz and gave my heart out to her. She made promises to me and swore heaven and earth, I must be a fool to have believed her. She let go of all her runs too and made sure I knew so, I visited her regularly and is well known to her parents. When she fell ill, I left school to be with her and lots of friends came by to greet her, she introduced me to them all as her boo and I even saw her ex there and the intro was the same, ( I could see the despondent look in his eyes and I thought I was really lucky).
She started talking about us and the future and my biggest concern was our difference in faith, she said in her family, there are both muslim and christians and our case is certainly not the first they have had of and she has no wahala with it. Well, love was in the air, maybe we were both blinded by it. I'm from Nasarawa state and my family too like hers has mixture of both christians and muslim, 5 of my dads 8 siblings were muslim by choice or marriage and I felt it would not be an issue for me too.
One year after our relationship kick-started in ernest, I started seeing cracks on the wall, you see, my ex (and this is what I'll call her hence) is not from a rich family, but she spends money like it is nothing. When I say money, I mean it, like 10 times what I can make, I noticed it and didn't ask her straight. Though she claim to have made investment while she worked one year before getting admission, I still didn't believe it as where she worked, workers are been paid basic salaries. She did not bother me financially at all, and I was forced to keep my mouth half sealed and open my eyes to what was on ground.
Her dad is late.
I noticed she has elderly folks with money as friends and at that point, I couldn't stomach it. Sugar daddies?
Trust me, I pulled the plug off our relationship and told her it was over, the sad news was that the damage had been done and I was head over heels in love with a heart-breaker. I realize her escapades were known to her mom who seem to have no problem with it. My ex called me and cried and wept and begged and deep inside me, I wanted her back if she would change. I told my friends of my predicaments and they say I should accept her and should forget about marriage or whatever, that it wouldn't work, they say I should cut my share and move. I accepted her back, I didn't want to cut my share, I wanted her but I had problems, you see, she is by far one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen, and she is very intelligent, maybe too intelligent for my liking sef. I girl like her go out with guys who have money and let's face it, its not as if I was boxed up anyway, so in my love infested mind, I made up excuses for her that she is only doing this to pay the bills (school fees, upkeep and all that) since I know her mom is not that boxed up too. So I know she cheats, I shamefully glossed over it and was about following the advice of my friends, cut my share and have other babes too, I tried that for a week but gave it up, you see, I'm one of the best student in my school and I'm studying a prestigious course where I may get scholarship bond in my state that would give me auto employment, I decided to put all of my energy in my studies and have her as a sidekick.
Though I never ever trusted her again, I still loved her all the same, in my innermost mind, I knew after graduation, I would be forced to look if maybe I would continue with her or not (I don't know the answer to that conundrum though) I knew I loved her, but she cheats on me and I'm making excuses for her. I have tons of female amdirers here and I could choose from them and have me a new girl, the truth is, my heart has been taken ( could this be jazz?) And truth be told, non of these my female admirers are as beautiful as she is, my ex is the kind of girl I walk into a room with and all eyes will be on us...I really loved that.
Now I thought things wouldn't go bad from here, but they did, the last time my ex was keen on seeing me was last christmas, though I traveled and she was disappointed I could tell. Valentine came and she was busy, her holiday in school came and she was busy, she was in class all through on her birthday and couldn't celebrate it (so she claims, even when I invited her over), my birthday came and she remembered at 12noon, she's always busy or there is something that makes her indisposed to check me, she no longer ask me to come over as she does before, though when I did pay her visit, she's like my dream girl again. I know when a girl cheats in a relationship and many signs of these has been posted on nairaland before, what I have however noticed is that, there is somebody who means much too her than I do now, her phone is always busy and the numbers that call her when I'm around don't have names (smh). I was sending a pix via blue-tooth with her phone and somebody text her saying he/she knows she's with somebody that's why she isn't picking her call, tha number has called 8 times in 3 minutes and I told her to pick it and tell the caller she's with her boyfriend, though with hesitation, she did it. She's really an angel when I'm with her but I just don't understand her when I'm back to my base.
Recently, she has been uploading pix of a cerain dude on facebook, she did it once and I made her know I wasn't happy, it was a group pix (and she's not inside) she says the peeps inside are her class mates. Again she did same again, this time, both of them are in the pix (and she says she only uploaded it because she likes her outfit in the pix) I haff sofad and I giffup.
I've been suspecting there's somebody there thesedays and that person is not a sugar daddy, I have seen the person (I think) and he is hideous. Looking at him, the dude is ugly I must say and if my suspicion is true, I would be disappointed that we are sharing the same p*ssy.
I have seen this day coming and I haff giffup on her, the thing is, I'm hurt and having this feeling of heartbreak, I'm true with her, this I know, but the hurt in my heart is killing me, I felt like sharing my feelings with you all as a family. And come to think of it, I feel better now that I have written it, much better than I felt when I started this write-up. I just need back up my peeps and I will be back stronger, this I sure as hell know of, let ASUU just call of this strike. Goodmorning!

Omo, this thing too long o, couldn't even read it to the end

I feel your pain and I thank God for your life now that your mind is at rest.
Now, my advice for you is that face your study squarely,come out with a very good result,get a scholarship as you have said or self sponsored scholarship.I pray God gives you a good job, make good money,pray to for a good wife from a good home and continue with your life. Don't be distracted,don't allow anyone to drag you back. You have to develop a strong heart and let go some things that seems pleasing to the eye but the end result leads to distruction.Dont be carried away by beauty,there are more to a relationship than just ordinary beauty which I believe is ephemeral.Stay focused bro, there is time for everything.

if all u said is the truth and notin but the truth,then I must say u ve really tried.well,its gud u ve moved on.all I can say is: congratulations bro..welcome back from d kingdom of deciet and infidelity... * hugs*

My dear, you tried oh, I would have called it quit at the first sight of cheating. The longer one waits, the more painful it is.

Well, I'm happy you have moved on, I know it's not easy, but that's the best you can do for now before a useless who.re shatters your heart completely.

I'll say for now, forget about a relation, but hang out with girls (a lot of them at that). Work on your goals, ensure you leave school as one of the best.

I can tell you with 100% certainity that she will pay for this (life is fair). She will regret it and try to be g you to come back. I beg of thee, never take her back, the latter will be more dissatrous than now because you will catch her on your matrimonial bed.

Welcome back to the world of singleness, you have learnt a vital lesson, never to trust anyone completely. Enjoy your singleness, be happy and cheerful.

Remember the slu,t has to leave for your wife to arrive and stop focusing too much on beauty (beuty is vain and deceitful) rather focus on the values of the girl.

Cheers.

Ur story is too long. BTW my advise is for u to move on her mind is no longer with u. She has shown every reasons for u to end that relationship through her actions and u have to cus ur future is more important than her, if u are sure that u have always been nice to her I think one day she will realize she lost a priceless gold by then she will start looking for u again which will be too late for her.

Usually i don't like reading long post only to find out its trash, but my dear just reading this i could tell this is the real deal, so i took my time to read it all. Sakaguchi i'm gonna be real honest with you, i have been dumped by girls in the past and trust me this are the signs that you are hanging on to something that's never gonna work out.
1. The fact that she's into "runz" or so, if just devastating enough, you can't compete with that, she prob might be meeting guys with several offers and benefits towards her and her family.

2. The silent times, the times she doesn't bother to communicate or so, women communicate more with men during a relationship she might be busy honestly but knowing the former point written in 1. its possible she's busy for the wrong reason.

Do yourself a favour stop hurting yourself, you are a brilliant person, logically you know what you should do, its the emotions that are making decisions difficult, you have to cut that relationship and forge ahead, you have gones as far as making excuses for her, that's just the height of suffering. Oh trust me it's gonna be real hard, there my times the radio wud play this shitty song "How do i live without you" and i'd start thinking about my ex, but at the end of the day I took all that Heart-break,Hatred and converted them into energy and focused on my career while am not that successful now, but its enough to tell that i have achieved things and moved on. The best part is i don't even think about my ex that much despite her calls and checking up on me, though i still advise her on life and shit. There's nothing as good as moving on. That all that and focus on your career or life, no one in life is worth dying for. P.S if all i've said doesn't work because it didn't really work for me like that another short-cut is ALCOHOL baby , baby-sitting alcohol now that's my God-given gift

Nice Script, me am watching out for Part 2..

nolaguy: Omo, this thing too long o, couldn't even read it to the end

I'm sorry about that

Modified.

mascot87: I feel your pain and I thank God for your life now that your mind is at rest.
Now, my advice for you is that face your study squarely,come out with a very good result,get a scholarship as you have said or self sponsored scholarship.I pray God gives you a good job, make good money,pray to for a good wife from a good home and continue with your life. Don't be distracted,don't allow anyone to drag you back. You have to develop a strong heart and let go some things that seems pleasing to the eye but the end result leads to distruction.Dont be carried away by beauty,there are more to a relationship than just ordinary beauty which I believe is ephemeral.Stay focused bro, there is time for everything.

Thanks so much and I really appreciate it, the fun in it these days is short-lived, I don't trust her anymore and her actions hurt me, I'll try hard not to be dragged back in, two weeks max, and I guess this terrible feeling in me will sublime away. Thanks.

olasmith10: if all u said is the truth and notin but the truth,then I must say u ve really tried.well,its gud u ve moved on.all I can say is: congratulations bro..welcome back from d kingdom of deciet and infidelity... * hugs*

Thank you, I appreciate...

k2039: My dear, you tried oh, I would have called it quit at the first sight of cheating. The longer one waits, the more painful it is.

Well, I'm happy you have moved on, I know it's not easy, but that's the best you can do for now before a useless who.re shatters your heart completely.

I'll say for now, forget about a relation, but hang out with girls (a lot of them at that). Work on your goals, ensure you leave school as one of the best.

I can tell you with 100% certainity that she will pay for this (life is fair). She will regret it and try to be g you to come back. I beg of thee, never take her back, the latter will be more dissatrous than now because you will catch her on your matrimonial bed.

Welcome back to the world of singleness, you have learnt a vital lesson, never to trust anyone completely. Enjoy your singleness, be happy and cheerful.

Remember the slu,t has to leave for your wife to arrive and stop focusing too much on beauty (beuty is vain and deceitful) rather focus on the values of the girl.

Cheers.

Thank you, I have no problem been single, what I was avoiding all these while was the pain in breakup, its not easy, but this is always gonna happen, better now than later I guess, she's gonna call back, she just called now and tonight, I'm gonna be inundated with calls, its how she plays the game, I know better now and that guilt-card can no longer be played on me, I need to move on, I know that, and all the comments above suggest that too. Thanks, and I won't look back...

Ucheosefoh: Ur story is too long. BTW my advise is for u to move on her mind is no longer with u. She has shown every reasons for u to end that relationship through her actions and u have to cus ur future is more important than her, if u are sure that u have always been nice to her I think one day she will realize she lost a priceless gold by then she will start looking for u again which will be too late for her.

Thanks, let me just get over this hurt, I don't wish her bad though, I know I'll be just fine and I wish her same.

pc guru: Usually i don't like reading long post only to find out its trash, but my dear just reading this i could tell this is the real deal, so i took my time to read it all. Sakaguchi i'm gonna be real honest with you, i have been dumped by girls in the past and trust me this are the signs that you are hanging on to something that's never gonna work out.
1. The fact that she's into "runz" or so, if just devastating enough, you can't compete with that, she prob might be meeting guys with several offers and benefits towards her and her family.

2. The silent times, the times she doesn't bother to communicate or so, women communicate more with men during a relationship she might be busy honestly but knowing the former point written in 1. its possible she's busy for the wrong reason.

Do yourself a favour stop hurting yourself, you are a brilliant person, logically you know what you should do, its the emotions that are making decisions difficult, you have to cut that relationship and forge ahead, you have gones as far as making excuses for her, that's just the height of suffering. Oh trust me it's gonna be real hard, there my times the radio wud play this shitty song "How do i live without you" and i'd start thinking about my ex, but at the end of the day I took all that Heart-break,Hatred and converted them into energy and focused on my career while am not that successful now, but its enough to tell that i have achieved things and moved on. The best part is i don't even think about my ex that much despite her calls and checking up on me, though i still advise her on life and shit. There's nothing as good as moving on. That all that and focus on your career or life, no one in life is worth dying for. P.S if all i've said doesn't work because it didn't really work for me like that another short-cut is ALCOHOL baby , baby-sitting alcohol now that's my God-given gift

Lols, alcohol? Does it work, I'll prolli have it later tonight with my guys, it will make me just fine but tomorrow...? Maybe it will take more than alcohol, lemme try using my head and flush her outta my mind. Indeed I know these are signs that a relationship is coming to an end, I simply call her to convince myself that this is not the case, and she makes me believe its not it, but her actions sooner or later betrays her word. The only way out of this quagmire is to move out, and that I will do.

Bro BREAK UP WITH HER. I'm not sure you've done that yet..
2. CUT OFF ALL COMMUNICATION WITH HER. Don't pick her calls, Remove her from all social networks, burn her pictures.. EVERYTHING. Don't rationalise this. Just do it.
3... Same as others have told you... Focus on other things. But
don't think it's going to be easy. I laugh when you Said two weeks. The most important factor is time, that's what really makes everything said work... TWO MONTHS to get her close to completely out of your mind.. It will be like waking up from a dream. You'll feel your normal self again and you'll wonder whether you've been all these while..
But importantly. Recap
Stay away from everything that reminds you of her. Tell your friends to never speak her name again... She must leave your mind..
Give yourself time. Get a new girlfriend or close female friend...
That's all....

Boy you are a lucky dude. I got some little advice for you. Between the two of us we know that babe is not going to change. Beauty without character and integrity is nothing. Direct the energy to your books and make a success of yourself. Keep away from that girl. You are lucky your eyes were "open" enough to see the reality.
I know of a guy that was in this kind of scenario, made excuses for the babe misdeeds, ended up marrying the babe, and the babe still bleeps around, nobody tells the guy (may be blissful ignorance), and people wonder if the guy is impotent. I support your quitting the relationship.

Hmm... From a girls angle, the chic still has a thing for you but i won't call that love. It's crazy i know but you have to move on. You will only get bittered and feel hate towards her if you continue to hope for something positive. I used to be that type girl even though i had a loving bf back then. Truth is girls her age are usually everywhere but nowhere. She might realise it later but hope it won't be late. Just swallow your pride of not having to walk into a room with the most beautiful girl in your head. Dude she is gone. She would plead and beg nd all what's not but i repeat if you go back, get ready to pick your shattered heart soon.

Excellent7: Boy you are a lucky dude. I got some little advice for you. Between the two of us we know that babe is not going to change. Beauty without character and integrity is nothing. Direct the energy to your books and make a success of yourself. Keep away from that girl. You are lucky your eyes were "open" enough to see the reality.
I know of a guy that was in this kind of scenario, made excuses for the babe misdeeds, ended up marrying the babe, and the babe still bleeps around, nobody tells the guy (may be blissful ignorance), and people wonder if the guy is impotent. I support your quitting the relationship.

Yea, that's just it bro, 2011, her uncle called her over that a certain man came to ask for her hand in marriage, she told me about it and assured me she's gonna decline it when the guy and her uncle come calling, this dude is rich though from the pictured she painted to me, even went ahead to promise her a car gift (so she said). My girl came back to me confused and when we were being intimate, she started telling me if I can allow her marry the dude, but she promised me that she'll still be seeing me, I was distraught and stopped what we were doing to tell her succinctly that I don't like what she just said and I'll never cheat with a married woman because I can stand someone digging mine too, I told her we'll only be punishing each other if we love ourselves and get married to others, she said she told the guy no and though he still didn't give up the first time, he subsequently back-down after being repeatedly turned down, what I'm trying to say is, she can do it because she had suggested it to me before. Thanks for your advice.

sakaguchi:
Yea, that's just it bro, 2011, her uncle called her over that a certain man came to ask for her hand in marriage, she told me about it and assured me she's gonna decline it when the guy and her uncle come calling, this dude is rich though from the pictured she painted to me, even went ahead to promise her a car gift (so she said). My girl came back to me confused and when we were being intimate, she started telling me if I can allow her marry the dude, but she promised me that she'll still be seeing me, I was distraught and stopped what we were doing to tell her succinctly that I don't like what she just said and I'll never cheat with a married woman because I can stand someone digging mine too, I told her we'll only be punishing each other if we love ourselves and get married to others, she said she told the guy no and though he still didn't give up the first time, he subsequently back-down after being repeatedly turned down, what I'm trying to say is, she can do it because she had suggested it to me before. Thanks for your advice.

Life isn't meant to be this stressful, my brother what gives you the assurance she won't hop out during marriage, well frankly can't say i blame her times are hard, but you don't have to sustain heartache just because of a relationship. well i can't given an expert opinion as much as am in a relationship, i don't feel that loving to the core thingy, maybe that's me, i think you need to take some time out and re-evaluate things. All the best...... still Alcohol can keep you company for the while

peziz: Hmm... From a girls angle, the chic still has a thing for you but i won't call that love. It's crazy i know but you have to move on. You will only get bittered and feel hate towards her if you continue to hope for something positive. I used to be that type girl even though i had a loving bf back then. Truth is girls her age are usually everywhere but nowhere. She might realise it later but hope it won't be late. Just swallow your pride of not having to walk into a room with the most beautiful girl in your head. Dude she is gone. She would plead and beg nd all what's not but i repeat if you go back, get ready to pick your shattered heart soon.

It is good to get a lady's opinion on this issue. She's got a thing for me but what could that be, she calls me names: honey, sweetheart, etc when I call even when her mom is around, I exchange pleasantries with her mom once in a while, I don't want to talk of before, I'm talking of now, her female friends and close cycle in her school know me too, she still talks about me amidst all these her attitude she evince. She noticed my snub on saturday night and on sunday she called n called n called till I picked it up, she feigns that she isn't aware of anything wrong between us and she not aware of any wrong she has done, she swore to God that she doesn't have anything romantic with the guy whose pics she uploaded the other day, I told her I want out and its over, she has been sobbing ever since telling me of all the sacrifices she has made for me over the years, (yea, she equally turned down another suitor she say came back home from overseas this year). She's beginning to make me seem like the bad guy here. She won't let go of me and she won't stop hurting me, while she cheats on me, she has never admitted it so all this her swearing of innocence did not go down with me. She says she's coming over to my side on wednesday. I've told her its over and she's adamant she'll still come. I need to be in love with a responsible girl I can trust to be outside and far from me, she's not that type. That thing she has for me is not the real deal and is fading off just the way my trust for her did. I sha would love it if we breakup without acrimony and hate involved, there's only one way our meeting on wednesday is gonna go, I just don't want to be the bad guy here. Everything I have said here is exactly what there is to say, I habve been contemplating leaving her for some times now and now I have opened up here on nairaland, that's what everybody here suggest so I'm the victim here not the bad guy. And did I say one of my friend here thinks our relationship is like this because we are far apart and wouldn't be the case if we were in same school or if we stay together...I however don't think this is an excuse.

pc guru:
Life isn't meant to be this stressful, my brother what gives you the assurance she won't hop out during marriage, well frankly can't say i blame her times are hard, but you don't have to sustain heartache just because of a relationship. well i can't given an expert opinion as much as am in a relationship, i don't feel that loving to the core thingy, maybe that's me, i think you need to take some time out and re-evaluate things. All the best...... still Alcohol can keep you company for the while

You said that earlier and I must admit, alcohol did it for me, and I certainly agree with you, I have over the time gone into loving her to the core and that's making me hurt, obviously, I love her more than she does me, and that explains the reason why I need time out. Having known her since 2009, I think I know when she's is deeply in love and when she is just there, right now, she is just there and have but ....a thing for me, just as @peziz suggested.

I luv ur use of language, truth be told, i was intimidated.
Ur studying medicine I presume?

5points: I luv ur use of language, truth be told, i was intimidated.
Ur studying medicine I presume?

Yes, I am? **smiles**
Thanks.

sakaguchi:
Yes, I am? **smiles**
Thanks.

nice one. I luv those wt brains, dey stimulate me to reason right. Hihihi, following you.