My husband's best friend has been messaging me alot on facebook lately. Everytime we chat, I advise my husband about the conversation. My husband also has my facebook password so he can see the conversation for himself. This friend is asking me questions about myself that my husband never cared to ask about. I am growing concerned that this friend wants way more than what he is presenting. Or i could be wrong but, is it customary in Nigeria for a man's best friend to regularly chat and check up on that mans wife?

Are you a Nigerian?

No. I am not Nigerian.

AmberDelRio: My husband's best friend has been messaging me alot on facebook lately. Everytime we chat, I advise my husband about the conversation. My husband also has my facebook password so he can see the conversation for himself. This friend is asking me questions about myself that my husband never cared to ask about. I am growing concerned that this friend wants way more than what he is presenting. Or i could be wrong but, is it customary in Nigeria for a man's best friend to regularly chat and check up on that mans wife?

its not normal 4 nigerian men, pls don't use one nigerian man to judge the rest (that would be very myopic of you). Besides also make sure u don't read anything in2 his attention and also why would u be chating often with ur husbands best friend I believe u are the one looking 4 trouble.

i was trying to be nice. I try to be nice to all his family and friends.

Op, whatever the conversation , pls don't give out much info about yourself , or your marriage to his best friend ....u never can know why he is so inquisitive... When he realize , you are not saying much, he will minimize his chats with you... And don't assume the worst about your husband's friend, until he comes all out to ask for a date, or semi nude pics of you... Then you can put your foot down and place him where he belongs ....but for now, don't talk much and try and be a bore in your conversations ..

Ok.sounds good to me.

Dude is interested in having an affair with you, plain and simple! - Either that, or he's gay and wants you to be his new best friend.

Fact that you are married to his best friend only matter as much full moon in a cold summer!

If you don't feel comfortable with where this relationship might end between you and your husband's best friend, you must immediately apply same barriers you would as if he were just another stranger. Talk to him in frank, measured and polite tones. Don't start up conversations, don't offer personal information, nothing about your emotions either. Turn down requests for personal information as politely as possible - "Sorry, i am not comfortable talking to you about that, i think it is a little intrusive, why don't we talk about starvation in Somalia? Poor souls, i feel for them"


When a bloke detects that you don't trust him to offer personal information, it sets his game back a quarter mile.

These people again .. This OP has come again with her obnoxious case to paint Nigerian men mongrels... If your man can't put his home in order then I think you should check his loyalty in this marriage of yours.

What is wrong with both of you ??

Op, what do u mean by is it customary for Nigerian men bla bla bla? Are u taata?
All the married Nigerian men u know, does their friends behave that way too?
Why d generalization?
In ur very good country(by d way, where r u from?),married men friends don't chyke their wives or vise versa?
R u in ur early teen?
Jejely settle ur case(of which u r subtly encouraging) and stop acting like a holy nweje.

If the conversation is inappropriate to you, it's inappropriate, period. What's your business with what is customary? If the friend asks you to sleep with him, will you first come here to ask us if it is customary for the best friends of Nigerian men to sleep with their wives before you know what to do?

Seems you like these conversations. The attention you get makes you feel special, right? if you don't like them you know what to do.

AmberDelRio: My husband's best friend has been messaging me alot on facebook lately. Everytime we chat, I advise my husband about the conversation. My husband also has my facebook password so he can see the conversation for himself. This friend is asking me questions about myself that my husband never cared to ask about. I am growing concerned that this friend wants way more than what he is presenting. Or i could be wrong but, is it customary in Nigeria for a man's best friend to regularly chat and check up on that mans wife?

There are many possibilities, maybe hes just curious, maybe your husband put him up to it, maybe he's one of those annoying guys ( yep some men are like that e.g my brother in law uses to get on my nerves because he didnt understand the concept of personal space and personal questions, always in your face, sitting too close, asking personal questions but i learnt how to deal with it) Anyway, if he makes you uncomfortable then simply let him know where the lines are.
Y'all need to chill, whats with the aggressive - defensive attitude? OP is from a different culture and just needed a little clarification, Kini big deal

Why not just stop responding to his messages altogether and worry less about his intentions?
How hard is that?

Ere ki laja n bekun se?

Hey, turn off chat for the dude and stop disturbing yourself

Yes, it is customary for NIGERIAN dudes to HIT on their friends' wives!
SISTER O, AUNTY O, MAMA O, AUNTY O, DAUGHTER O, NIECE O, HOUSEMAID O, GRANDMA O, COUSIN O. . . DEM NOR DEY DISCRIMINATE!!!
Dem not dey take eye see/nose smell poohC o!
Don't be surprised YOUR OWN husband has done the same to this 'friend's' girlfriend or wife once upon a time!
He may be seeking revenge. . .

Isn't is strange your husband reads the 'messaging'. . . and still tolerates him around you?

Na which kain husband be dat?

FEMI FANI-KAYODE?

Kanwulia aka Calloti has a point.
If your husband knows about it and he's not complaining, something is fishy.

I never thought about that. You all may be on to something. I know that I have to be very carful where I tread. Its amazing to me how one man will want to have relations with another man's very pregnant wife. This is some Jerry Springer shit fo sho. I appreciate all of the advisement.

Kanwulia: Yes, it is customary for NIGERIAN dudes to HIT on their friends' wives!
SISTER O, AUNTY O, MAMA O, AUNTY O, DAUGHTER O, NIECE O, HOUSEMAID O, GRANDMA O, COUSIN O. . . DEM NOR DEY DISCRIMINATE!!!
Dem not dey take eye see/nose smell poohC o!
Don't be surprised YOUR OWN husband has done the same to this 'friend's' girlfriend or wife once upon a time!
He may be seeking revenge. . .

Isn't is strange your husband reads the 'messaging'. . . and still tolerates him around you?

Na which kain husband be dat?

FEMI FANI-KAYODE?

AmberDelRio: I never thought about that. You all may be on to something. I know that I have to be very carful where I tread. Its amazing to me how one man will want to have relations with another man's very pregnant wife. This is some Jerry Springer shit fo sho. I appreciate all of the advisement.

Really?? or a typo?

Kanwulia: Yes, it is customary for NIGERIAN dudes to HIT on their friends' wives!
SISTER O, AUNTY O, MAMA O, AUNTY O, DAUGHTER O, NIECE O, HOUSEMAID O, GRANDMA O, COUSIN O. . . DEM NOR DEY DISCRIMINATE!!!
Dem not dey take eye see/nose smell poohC o!
Don't be surprised YOUR OWN husband has done the same to this 'friend's' girlfriend or wife once upon a time!
He may be seeking revenge. . .

Isn't is strange your husband reads the 'messaging'. . . and still tolerates him around you?

Na which kain husband be dat?

FEMI FANI-KAYODE?

Ermm.....kanwulia.....u no dey taya?

Amelian:

Ermm.....kanwulia.....u no dey taya?

I beg your pardon!
Taya for WHAT?
Having an azzzzehole OR AN OPINION?

"nigerian men"?

The same Nigerian men that posters are saying cheat a lot in 'How does a person cope with a cheating hubby' thread?

It seems Nigerian men change per thread.

Besides, the Op seemed to ask based on cultural difference..,

@OP,

There is nothing normal or abnormal afteral, there must be a form of communication before ""Nigerian husbands" sleep with their SILs, neighbors, wives bestfriends, bestfriends' wives, girlfriends etc.

You do not need your hubby to tell you what to do in some instances.

If you are NOT comfortable with the tone of the convo, please politely tell him so or just ignore him.