Voting criteria

Opener
rhymes
Wordplay
metaphors/ similies
flow
punchlines
closer

20 lines . . .

deadline : Monday 19th august,8pm.

following

Phantom when u ready holla!

Miku thanks!

by 8:00pm I'll post my verse

The brat's shaking/ his body parts aching/ but I'm the one the pundits have faith in/ when I use his head to drill the floor . . . They'll hail the experience as ground breaking!/
His Mettle's Lost/ and he's first to duck/ to meet his exodus/ I'll storm the smeared hoe's church/ and have 'demonic monkey troops' drop him . . . If he tries to 'Temple Run'!/ My comet is wild/ with planks to pummel his thighs/ he couldn't 'pose threat' . . . If he Models with knives!/
I'm quick to batter and disburse peeps/ with a sharper retort kill/ cos his attempt to slander and Injure me/ will come at a very high price . . . and he'll 'pay through the nose' . . . when my pestles shatter his nostrils!!/
. . . . He'll be Shred off and teared/ cos It'll take me-Knits to be at the 'helm' of affairs/ I'll maim the bumface/ then leave him frayed in Bondage/ home or abroad . . I'll still bring the fool harm . . even at craven cottage/
I'll pound and tear the lad/ if he think his raps are very hard/ then make your boo-leave-ya . . After I b@ng her in South America/ he'll get riled and flamed/ but this 'flash in the pan' will jump to fire . . . when I set pen drives ablaze!/
I attack with bold Titans/ Next he'll be diagnosed of HIV . . . When this brutal beatdown goes viral!/ tha f@g'll be brought down with pestilence/ when my upper-cuts and chin strikes . . . Leave him spacebound like Eminem!/
he'll git sent to an early Grave/ when I attack With machetes plus spanners . . that'll leave he chopped and screwed . . Like the track by Teddy pain!/ our lines aint of thesame standard/ I'm lauded cos my bar-carry . . . And land you on the neck like sagna/
he'll get fired with guns or clips/ with his poor english I bet he spits wrong on beats/ so I'll punch his mouth with a Calculator . . . Till he starts to recite the figures of speech!/
I get support from top footballers . . . But not even italian players brace-ya/ he thinks he's berserk and cool/ till I render him loose/ then take opuses to an Arid Land . . . And kill him with a 'desert eagle'/

ok
.
hits @phantom
.
.
.Im firm in spits/abt to unleash deadly hits/on ds smelly b i t c h/ so dnt xpect to last boss. .
. cos only 'chance to save' ur wack thots. . be when I smash ur head. . with 'memory' sticks/


.I drop some gats/on ds common rat/hv u 'spitting flames'. . when i 'burn' ur mouth/ while ma performance heavy. . struck more hearts/
. . u always 'putting up a light show'. . like 'pop concerts'/


bt phuck it!!

.I fight wit solar gadgets/ma 'hits?'phuckin d o p e and latent/
i kill glads,then send 6FT. . while all phan buries. . are bones and hatchets/
. so one punch. . I'll hv him 'living by wheats'. . like farmers in 'studio apartments'/(wits)

ma crude pun blaze ya/ pilots me to demi-god heights. . sends u. . to ur maker/
so if u got ur 'spot raised'. . its 'goose bumps',player/
. cos we'll never see 'DA win'. . even if he 'relocates to australia'/(darwin)

I brought blows in bunch/ lambash hs face. . hv him 'pay' d penalty. . thru hs nose. . when i wield some 'golden' touch/
. after which I'll let ma 'molars' finish d job. . a proof am better. . when it comes to the 'crunch'/

winning?. .

aint an option phucker/when i 'land' ds 'hell piece'. . give u a 'portion' brother/. so I force stones down hs 'atria'/
. till he carries around. . a 'hard heart'. . like 'construction workers'/(hard hat)

hs chic calls me mr. handsome/lashed her. . gave her a 'real phuuck'. . than she ever dream and 'phantom'/
bt if he claims he'll 'shine here'. .
. . I'll hire 'dark' knights. . to take out 'phan light'. . and toss him out the 'transom'/
(fan light)

see mehn!. .

im d born killer/popping mags/to get u bodybagged/cos while i chase p u s s Y. . hes 'flagyl'. . only good @ 'blocking' @ss/
. . so after ds beating. . phan b seen 'hanging hs boots' on 'power lines'. . like 'drug dealers'/

so I storm d fool's nest,and/infiltrate hs 'base'. . opening hs head wit ah 'burette stand'/cos phan never bin d o p e. .
. . so if hes hanging on 'old glory'. . must be when I strangle him with 'US flag'/

I leave ds foe clan disfigured/cut d 'complex figure' to hs 'roots'. . hv swords begin 'polar division'/
. . then 'silence' him. . and mk 'phan numb'. . like roman religion/
(Fanum)

Open for votes

Mvgt - Opuses

For me he was more aggressive with a better punch delivery.

I wonder what happened to voting criteria though

rhymes - tie
Puns - none (opuses had too many forced ones.. Hat/ heart.. Why? Odas generic)
Flow - phantom
Metas - opuses
Punch - phantom (calculator line was bam)
Opener - phantom
Closer - opuses


PHANTOM takes it

opuses: ok
.I drop some gats/on ds common rat/hv u 'spitting flames'. . when i 'burn' ur mouth/ while ma performance heavy. . struck more hearts/
. . u always 'putting up a light show'. . like 'pop concerts'/
(Fanum)

this is the line i like most in ur verse..all those darwin..save/memory are generic..plus those wordplays like fanum/phan numb..heart/hat doesn't work for me

Daphantom:
The brat's shaking/ his body parts aching/ but I'm the one the pundits have faith in/
when I use his head to drill the floor . . . They'll hail the experience as ground breaking!/

My comet is wild/ . . with planks to pummel his thighs/
he couldn't 'pose threat' . . . If he Models with knives!/


I attack with bold Titans/ Next he'll be diagnosed of HIV . . . When this brutal beatdown goes viral!/

he'll get fired with guns or clips/ with his poor english I bet he spits wrong on beats/
so I'll punch his mouth with a Calculator . . . Till he starts to recite the figures of speech!/

i particularly love that model line.

opener-daphantom
flow-none{the two verses were written in no good order}
metas/simile-opuse
rhyme:tie
wordplay-daphantom
punclines-daphantom
closer-tie
MVGT-DAPHANTOM

For me mvgt=phantom

@Ema, Mik, Prekks, Gosh. Thanks for the votes.
so its daphantom 3-1 opuses . . . Mikuz? Victory is by how much margin?

Mvqt-phantom opuse,your punches were'nt hittinq hard enouqh 'for me'. Wasn't WOW-inq. Seen better lines from you at ffr..what happened?

Closed - Daphantom wins.