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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego (1487728 Views)
akpos funniest joke, and more. / 24/7 Nigeria Jokes Update / Real Funny Nigeria Jokes (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 9:32am On Feb 02, 2016 |
A woman just returned from a trip and as soon as she stepped into the house, after the usual welcome thingies, she asked her younger child, a six years old girl, if everything was alright in the two days she's been away. "Ha, mummy, Praise God!" S he said, "In fact, I want to give a testimony in Church on Sunday! A strange thing happened when you left, Alright ke, hmmm, everything was not alright o". Slightly curious, the mum asked, "So what happened sweetie?" " Just after you left on friday, James from the next compound came to see Bukola. We were in the sitting room watching Nickelodeon and I slept off. But when I woke up, I couldn't find them. I searched everywhere: kitchen, toilets, car park, and still I didn't find them. I became scared, and then I heard some murmuring coming from your room. "It was dark inside and I couldn't see them well at first from the door. But I guess Bukola was mad at something because her eyes were gleaming. Then I think she was feeling sick and nearly fainted and James started breathing in her mouth, just like we were taught in P. E. Class. And then it got serious because he started having trouble getting her mouth and kept trying to hold her head in place and all that. "She must have nearly died because he started to feel her heart! He had trouble finding it and he started feeling all over her body, inside her clothes to find it! At a point he even started using his mouth, looking for it all over: her thighs and all! By then Bukola was so sick, she was just moaning and moving here and there. James too was becoming infected and he started grunting like Baloo the bear in Jungle Book, ! "Then I saw it, Mummy, I saw it! I saw the demon that possessed them all the while. A black, thick, snake-like demon came out of James' boxer, standing strong and rude! They paused for a second, and then Bukola got brave and decided to bite it to death. It was a fierce battle as she struggled with it. It kept going in and out of her mouth and James' was cursing softly all the while. Eventually, the demon surrendered and started bleeding white, "Then, Bukola tugged it several times and slapped it, I don't know why she did something that silly, because, the demon got angry and strong again! Then James and Bukola joined forces and started squashing it between them. They squashed and squashed again. It was so bad! James was growling this time like an enraged gorilla and Bukola kept saying all sorts. For some time she kept blaming James for the trouble saying, "Oh James, you've killed me, you've finished me, I'm finished" Some times, she was begging God for more power, "Oh Lord, Oh God, give it to me, give it to me!" And truly, after a long while, the demon died, bleeding a creamier white this time. "They just lay there tired. James and Bukola, and were just talking in low tones. Suddenly, I think the snake-bite became worrisome, and Bukola became sick again. James started to look for her heart once again and then, oh my God, the demon resurrected! This time, it was Bukola who took charge. She put it right under her and started sitting on it. It was biting her and she kept yelling and jumping and sitting and James was then begging for God to intervene. He just sat there holding Bukola and calling God several times. Truly God was faithful and the Demon finally died. Bukola slumped across James and they both fainted there for a long time! "When they awoke, Bukola said she was concerned about something and James brought a rubber hood out. He said truly, they should have used it. Maybe they would have just strangled the demon instead, "Mummy, I must give testimony in Church on Sunday! If not for God, imagine! And I must say, you have a brave daughter in Bukola!" 5 Likes |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:23am On Feb 03, 2016 |
Signboard A Nigerian Man Mounted On His Land. 2 Likes
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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by shotgun22(m): 7:25pm On Feb 03, 2016 |
njuwo:the fish must swallow me again o |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by vkon2(m): 10:01pm On Feb 05, 2016 |
haryomikun:as ijebu ode or ijebu igbo |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Pastorudosky17(m): 9:13am On Feb 06, 2016 |
Nice one |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by haryomikun(m): 3:40pm On Feb 06, 2016 |
vkon2:Ijebu ode mostly |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by horlabenson(m): 5:49pm On Feb 06, 2016 |
A couple are rushing into the hospital because the
wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to
them that he has invented a machine that splits the
pain between the mother and father. They agree to it
and are led into a room where they get hooked up to
the machine. The doctor starts it off at 20% split
towards the father. The wife says, "Oh, that's actually
better." The husband says he can't feel anything. Then
the doctor turns it to 50% and the wife says that it
doesn't hurt nearly as much. The husband says he sill
can't feel anything. The Doctor, now encouraged,
turns it up to 100%. The husband still can't feel
anything, and the wife is really happy, because there
is now no pain for her. The baby is born. The couple
go home and find the postman groaning in pain on
the doorstep. |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by horlabenson(m): 5:49pm On Feb 06, 2016 |
A couple are rushing into the hospital because the
wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to
them that he has invented a machine that splits the
pain between the mother and father. They agree to it
and are led into a room where they get hooked up to
the machine. The doctor starts it off at 20% split
towards the father. The wife says, "Oh, that's actually
better." The husband says he can't feel anything. Then
the doctor turns it to 50% and the wife says that it
doesn't hurt nearly as much. The husband says he sill
can't feel anything. The Doctor, now encouraged,
turns it up to 100%. The husband still can't feel
anything, and the wife is really happy, because there
is now no pain for her. The baby is born. The couple
go home and find the postman groaning in pain on
the doorstep. 3 Likes |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 11:47am On Feb 07, 2016 |
Ofego Is Wishing You A Happy Sunday! Lol; A Close Look At This Picture, Who Is Really At The Point Of Death? Comment 1 Or 2.
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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 12:55pm On Feb 07, 2016 |
Ofego And Mitchell Baby. A Picture From The Very First Video. More Authentic Videos Coming Soon From Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego. Stay Checked Up! |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Bizinton: 1:40am On Feb 08, 2016 |
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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:08am On Feb 08, 2016 |
When a Warri Man died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Welcome, Warri Man. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately,it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in." "Okay," said the Warri Man. "I hope it's not too hard o. I've already been through a test. My mummy used to say, ''Life is like a final exam. It's hard." "Yes, Warri Man, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are." 1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?" 2) How many seconds are in a year? 3) What is God's first name? "Well, sir," said Warri Man, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow." St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer." "The next question," said Warri Man, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve." "Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused. "Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd…" St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one too." "And the last question," said Warri Man, "What is God's first name? It's Andy." "Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?" "I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." The Warri Man broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own." |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 11:21am On Feb 08, 2016 |
Ofego Tells Us How To Deal With Nigerian Beggars; Beggar: Sir please help me with something. I've not eaten since yesterday. Please give me money, I'm hungry! Ofego: Eya! Sorry! Do you have 1,000 Naira change? Beggar: Yes sir! Ofego: Use the change to eat! 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 11:10pm On Feb 10, 2016 |
How It All Starts. 1 Like
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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 9:14am On Feb 11, 2016 |
A guy and a girl were on a car parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what guys and girls do on back roads some distance from town. Then the girl stopped the boy, "I really should have mention this earlier. I'm actually a sex hawker and I charge 1,500 Naira for sex." The guy reluctantly paid her and they did their thing. After the enjoyment, the guy just sat on the driver's seat looking out of the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" Asked the girl. "Well, I should have mentioned this earlier," Said the guy, "I'm actually a taxi driver and I charge 2,000 Naira back to town". 3 Likes |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:23am On Feb 12, 2016 |
Download njuwo latest comedy video "God's Time" here > https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=459168227624096&id=456159224591663&_ft_=top_level_post_id.459168227624096%3Atl_objid.459168227624096%3Athid.456159224591663%3A306061129499414%3A54%3A0%3A1456819199%3A4404498648196426743 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:17pm On Feb 12, 2016 |
When You Tell Your Friend To Come And Give You Leg As In Escort You And He Doesn't Want To > Download Video Here > https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=459321257608793&id=456159224591663&_ft_=top_level_post_id.459321257608793%3Atl_objid.459321257608793%3Athid.456159224591663%3A306061129499414%3A54%3A0%3A1456819199%3A6200774727344654661 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 7:26pm On Feb 12, 2016 |
A man that was to be operated for appendix was very anxious. When he got to the operating theatre with the Doctor he was shaking on the table. The Doctor asked him what was his problem and the man said he was very scared because it was his first time of getting operated. The Doctor said, "I understand how you feel. This is my first time of operating someone. So, we are both first timers. The man suddenly got up. The Doctor asked, "What is it? Why get up?" The man replied, "The appendix has disappeared." 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 12:55pm On Feb 15, 2016 |
How To Attend A Blind Date. Download Video Here https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=459633497577569&id=456159224591663&_ft_=top_level_post_id.459633497577569%3Atl_objid.459633497577569%3Athid.456159224591663%3A306061129499414%3A54%3A0%3A1456819199%3A4307354056503897975 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 12:58pm On Feb 15, 2016 |
An accident occurred today, 11 were injured and 12 died, so the minister of health said he had to offer 2,000 Naira to the injured and 8 Million Naira to the dead for their funeral. One of the injured got up and laid where the dead were. One of the dead said, "My dear go back to that place, no bring wahala. They have already counted us. Ofego reporting for njuwotv. 1 Like |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:40pm On Feb 15, 2016 |
When A Typical Nigerian Dad Ask His Son What He Wants To Become In Future He Is Certainly Asking For Trouble. Watch Here https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=460356590838593&id=456159224591663&_ft_=top_level_post_id.460356590838593%3Atl_objid.460356590838593%3Athid.456159224591663%3A306061129499414%3A54%3A0%3A1456819199%3A2944994055414141239 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:16pm On Feb 17, 2016 |
Future Ambition Part 2 Watch Here https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=460989844108601&id=456159224591663&_ft_=top_level_post_id.460989844108601%3Atl_objid.460989844108601%3Athid.456159224591663%3A306061129499414%3A54%3A0%3A1456819199%3A1870730624146973793 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 1:58am On Feb 18, 2016 |
A boy and a girl were always contesting for supremacy in their area. One day the boy asked his mother to buy him a power bike which she did. When the girl saw him with his power bike he told her that only big boys and not girls could have such bikes. She went home crying and told her mum. Her mum bought it for her and she later showed it to the boy who got annoyed to meet his mother and asked her to buy him a designer's jeans and later challenged the girl. The girl went home as usual and came back with her own jeans. The boy was so angry that he pulled down his jeans trouser and showed the girl his penis. He said, "Tell your mother to get you this. Only big boys and not girls have it." She went home as usual crying. The following day the boy asked her whether her mother was able to get her the penis and she pulled down her blouse to reveal her breasts. She said, "My mother told me as long as I have this pair of breast, I can get as many penis as I want." |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:41am On Feb 18, 2016 |
When Your Kid Brother Tells You That You Are Ugly What Will You Do To Him? Find Out What Ofego Did To His Own In This Video https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=461138914093694&id=456159224591663&_ft_=top_level_post_id.461138914093694%3Atl_objid.461138914093694%3Athid.456159224591663%3A306061129499414%3A54%3A0%3A1456819199%3A4094450410054846079 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Detailnews: 11:10am On Feb 18, 2016 |
PLAY AND WIN BIG ON [url]NAIJABET.COM[/url] |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 4:57pm On Feb 19, 2016 |
A reverend father was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his reverend brother friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The brother told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the reverend father told him to come on over and he would stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The brother came and he and the reverend father were in the confessional. A few minutes later a woman came in and said, "Father forgive me for I have sinned." The reverend asked, "What did you do?". The woman said, "I committed adultery." Reverend: "How many times?" Woman: "Three times." Reverend: "Say two Hail Mary's, put 1,000 Naira in the box and go and sin no more." A few minutes later a man entered the confessional. He said, "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Reverend: "What did you do?" Man: "I committed adultery." Reverend: "How many times?" Man: "Three times." Reverend: "Say two Hail Mary's, put 1,000 Naira in the box and go and sin no more." The brother told the reverend that he thinks he has got it so the reverend left. A few minutes later another woman entered and said, "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Brother: "What did you do?" Woman: "I committed adultery." Brother: "How many times?" Woman: "Once." Brother: "Go and do it two more times. We have a special offer this week, three for 1,000 Naira." |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:31pm On Feb 19, 2016 |
Ofego's Definition Of Marriage. See It Here https://mobile.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=461322917408627&id=456159224591663&_ft_=top_level_post_id.461322917408627%3Atl_objid.461322917408627%3Athid.456159224591663%3A306061129499414%3A54%3A0%3A1456819199%3A-3586641895899296541 |
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 5:02am On Feb 20, 2016 |
A church member went to a native doctor to get some charms. As he was sneaking in so that nobody will see him, he was very suprised to see his pastor there, startled ,he asked the pastor, "What are you doing here sir?". The pastor beckoned on him, "Keep your voice low, the bishop is inside with the native doctor." |
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