A woman just returned
from a trip and as soon as
she stepped into the
house, after the usual
welcome thingies, she
asked her younger child, a six years old girl, if
everything was alright in
the two days she's been
away.
"Ha, mummy, Praise God!" S
he said, "In fact, I want to give a testimony in
Church on Sunday! A
strange thing happened
when you left, Alright ke,
hmmm, everything was
not alright o". Slightly curious, the mum asked,
"So what happened
sweetie?"
" Just after you left on
friday, James from the next
compound came to see Bukola. We were in the sitting
room watching Nickelodeon and I slept off.
But when I woke up, I
couldn't find them. I
searched everywhere: kitchen, toilets, car park,
and still I didn't find them.
I became scared, and then
I heard some murmuring
coming from your room.
"It was dark inside and I couldn't see them well at
first from the door.
But I guess Bukola was
mad at something
because her eyes were
gleaming. Then I think she was
feeling sick and nearly
fainted and James started
breathing in her mouth,
just like we were taught
in P. E. Class. And then it got serious
because he started having
trouble getting her mouth
and kept trying to hold
her head in place and all
that. "She must have nearly
died because he started to
feel her heart! He had
trouble finding it and he
started feeling all over
her body, inside her clothes to find it! At a
point he even started
using his mouth, looking
for it all over: her thighs
and all!
By then Bukola was so sick, she was just moaning
and moving here and
there. James too was
becoming infected and he
started grunting like Baloo
the bear in Jungle Book, ! "Then I saw it, Mummy, I
saw it! I saw the demon
that possessed them all
the while.
A black, thick, snake-like
demon came out of James' boxer, standing strong
and rude! They paused for
a second, and then Bukola
got brave and decided to
bite it to death.
It was a fierce battle as she struggled with it. It
kept going in and out of
her mouth and James' was
cursing softly all the
while.
Eventually, the demon surrendered and started
bleeding white,
"Then, Bukola tugged it
several times and slapped
it, I don't know why she
did something that silly, because, the demon got
angry and strong again!
Then James and Bukola
joined forces and started
squashing it between
them. They squashed and
squashed again. It was so
bad! James was
growling this time like an
enraged gorilla and
Bukola kept saying all sorts.
For some time she kept
blaming James for the
trouble saying, "Oh James,
you've killed me, you've
finished me, I'm finished" Some times, she was
begging God for more
power, "Oh Lord, Oh God,
give it to me, give it to
me!"
And truly, after a long while, the demon died,
bleeding a creamier white
this time.
"They just lay there tired.
James and Bukola, and
were just talking in low tones.
Suddenly, I think the
snake-bite became
worrisome, and Bukola became sick again. James started to look for her heart once again and
then, oh my God, the
demon resurrected! This
time, it was Bukola who
took charge.
She put it right under her and started sitting on it. It
was biting her and she
kept yelling and jumping
and sitting and James was
then begging for God to
intervene. He just sat there holding
Bukola and calling God
several times.
Truly God was faithful and
the Demon finally died.
Bukola slumped across James and they both
fainted there for a long
time!
"When they awoke,
Bukola said she was
concerned about something and James
brought a rubber hood
out. He said truly, they
should have used it.
Maybe they would have
just strangled the demon instead,
"Mummy, I must give
testimony in Church on
Sunday! If not for God,
imagine!
And I must say, you have a brave daughter in
Bukola!"

Signboard A Nigerian Man Mounted On His Land.

njuwo:
If You Were Jonah, The Fish Swallowed You In London And Vomitted You In Afghanistan, What Would You Do?

the fish must swallow me again o

haryomikun:

It depends on the area. Mostly in Ijebu and Abeokuta ppl ball a lot. M willing to bet they ball more in Ijebu than Victoria Island sef.
However, if someone wants to fully move into music so they can blow, Lagos is the best bet. Not Ogun........

as ijebu ode or ijebu igbo

Nice one

vkon2:
as ijebu ode or ijebu igbo

Ijebu ode mostly

A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father. They agree to it and are led into a room where they get hooked up to the machine. The doctor starts it off at 20% split towards the father. The wife says, "Oh, that's actually better." The husband says he can't feel anything. Then the doctor turns it to 50% and the wife says that it doesn't hurt nearly as much. The husband says he sill can't feel anything. The Doctor, now encouraged, turns it up to 100%. The husband still can't feel anything, and the wife is really happy, because there is now no pain for her. The baby is born. The couple go home and find the postman groaning in pain on the doorstep.

A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father. They agree to it and are led into a room where they get hooked up to the machine. The doctor starts it off at 20% split towards the father. The wife says, "Oh, that's actually better." The husband says he can't feel anything. Then the doctor turns it to 50% and the wife says that it doesn't hurt nearly as much. The husband says he sill can't feel anything. The Doctor, now encouraged, turns it up to 100%. The husband still can't feel anything, and the wife is really happy, because there is now no pain for her. The baby is born. The couple go home and find the postman groaning in pain on the doorstep.

Ofego Is Wishing You A Happy Sunday! Lol; A Close Look At This Picture, Who Is Really At The Point Of Death? Comment 1 Or 2.

Ofego And Mitchell Baby. A Picture From The Very First Video. More Authentic Videos Coming Soon From Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego. Stay Checked Up!

When a Warri Man
died, he stood in front
of St. Peter at the Pearly
Gates. St. Peter said,
"Welcome, Warri Man.
We've heard a lot about you." He continued,
"Unfortunately,it's
getting pretty crowded
up here and we find
that we now have to
give people an entrance examination before we
let them in." "Okay," said the Warri Man. "I
hope it's not too hard o.
I've already been
through a test. My
mummy used to say,
''Life is like a final exam. It's hard." "Yes, Warri Man, I know. But
this test is only three
questions. Here they
are."
1) Which two days of
the week begin with the
letter 'T'?"
2) How many seconds
are in a year?
3) What is God's first
name?

"Well, sir," said Warri Man,
"The first one is easy.
Which two days of the
week begin with the
letter 'T'? Today and
Tomorrow."

St. Peter looked
surprised and said,
"Well, that wasn't the
answer I was looking
for, but you have a
point. I give you credit for that answer." "The next question,"
said Warri Man, "How many
seconds are in a year?
Twelve."

"Twelve?" said St. Peter,
surprised and confused. "Yes, sir. January 2nd,
February 2nd, March
2nd…" St. Peter interrupted
him. "I see what you
mean. I'll have to give
you credit for that one too." "And the last question,"
said Warri Man, "What is
God's first name? It's
Andy."

"Andy?" said St. Peter,
in shock. "How did you
come up with 'Andy'?"

"I learned it in church.
We used to sing about
it." The Warri Man broke into
song, "Andy walks with
me, Andy talks with me,
Andy tells me I am His own."

Ofego Tells Us How To Deal With Nigerian Beggars;

Beggar: Sir please help me with something. I've not eaten since yesterday. Please give me money, I'm hungry!



Ofego: Eya! Sorry! Do you have 1,000 Naira change?



Beggar: Yes sir!

Ofego: Use the change to eat!

How It All Starts.

A guy and a girl were
on a car parked on a back road
some distance from
town, doing what guys and
girls do on back roads
some distance from town. Then the girl
stopped the boy,
"I really should have
mention this earlier. I'm actually a sex hawker and
I charge 1,500 Naira for sex." The guy reluctantly
paid her and they did
their thing. After the
enjoyment, the guy just sat on the
driver's seat looking out of
the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?"
Asked the girl. "Well, I
should have mentioned this earlier," Said the guy, "I'm actually a taxi driver
and I charge 2,000 Naira back to town".

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When You Tell Your Friend To Come And Give You Leg As In Escort You And He Doesn't Want To > Download Video Here > https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=459321257608793&id=456159224591663&_ft_=top_level_post_id.459321257608793%3Atl_objid.459321257608793%3Athid.456159224591663%3A306061129499414%3A54%3A0%3A1456819199%3A6200774727344654661

A man that was to be
operated
for appendix was very
anxious. When he got to the operating
theatre with the Doctor he was shaking on the table.
The Doctor asked him
what was his problem
and the man said he was very scared because
it was his first time of getting operated.
The Doctor said, "I
understand how you feel. This is my first time of operating someone. So, we are both first timers.
The man suddenly got up. The Doctor asked, "What is it? Why get up?" The man replied, "The appendix has disappeared."

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An accident occurred today, 11 were injured and 12 died, so the minister of health said he had to offer 2,000 Naira to the injured and 8 Million Naira to the dead for their funeral. One of the injured got up and laid where the dead were.
One of the dead said, "My dear go back to that place, no bring wahala. They have already counted us. Ofego reporting for njuwotv.

When A Typical Nigerian Dad Ask His Son What He Wants To Become In Future He Is Certainly Asking For Trouble. Watch Here https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=460356590838593&id=456159224591663&_ft_=top_level_post_id.460356590838593%3Atl_objid.460356590838593%3Athid.456159224591663%3A306061129499414%3A54%3A0%3A1456819199%3A2944994055414141239

Future Ambition Part 2 Watch Here https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=460989844108601&id=456159224591663&_ft_=top_level_post_id.460989844108601%3Atl_objid.460989844108601%3Athid.456159224591663%3A306061129499414%3A54%3A0%3A1456819199%3A1870730624146973793

A boy and a girl were always contesting for
supremacy in their
area.
One day the boy asked
his mother to buy him a power bike which she did. When the girl saw him with his power bike he told her that
only big boys and not
girls could have such
bikes.
She went home crying and told her mum.
Her mum bought it for her and she later
showed it to the boy
who got annoyed to
meet his mother and asked her to buy him a designer's jeans and later challenged the girl.
The girl went home as usual and came back with her own jeans.
The boy was so angry that he pulled down his jeans trouser and showed the girl his penis.
He said, "Tell your mother to get you this. Only big boys and not girls have it."
She went home as usual crying.
The following day the boy asked her whether her mother was able to get her the penis and she pulled down her blouse to reveal her breasts. She said, "My mother told me as long as I have this pair of breast, I can get as many penis as I want."

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A reverend father was called away
for an emergency. Not
wanting to leave the
confessional unattended,
he called his reverend brother
friend from across the street and asked him to
cover for him. The
brother told him he
wouldn't know what to
say, but the reverend father told
him to come on over and he would stay with him for a
little bit and show him
what to do. The brother
came and he and the
reverend father were in the
confessional. A few minutes later a woman came
in and said, "Father
forgive me for I have
sinned." The reverend asked,
"What did you do?". The
woman said, "I committed adultery."

Reverend: "How
many times?"

Woman:
"Three times."

Reverend: "Say
two Hail Mary's, put 1,000 Naira in
the box and go and sin no
more." A few minutes later a man entered the
confessional. He said,
"Father forgive me for I
have sinned."

Reverend:
"What did you do?"

Man:
"I committed adultery."

Reverend: "How many times?"


Man: "Three times."

Reverend:
"Say two Hail Mary's, put
1,000 Naira in the box and go and
sin no more." The brother
told the reverend that he thinks he has got it so the
reverend left. A few
minutes later another
woman entered and said,
"Father forgive me for I
have sinned."

Brother: "What did you
do?"


Woman: "I committed
adultery."


Brother: "How many
times?"

Woman: "Once."


Brother: "Go and do it two
more times. We have a
special offer this week, three
for 1,000 Naira."

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A church member went to a native doctor to get some charms. As he was sneaking in so that nobody will see him, he was very suprised to see his pastor there, startled ,he asked the pastor, "What are you doing here sir?". The pastor beckoned on him, "Keep your voice low, the bishop is inside with the native doctor."