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Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego - Jokes Etc (91) - Nairaland

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akpos funniest joke, and more. / 24/7 Nigeria Jokes Update / Real Funny Nigeria Jokes (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by dogzzy(m): 9:31pm On Nov 02, 2016
A Must Read!!! 16 Things Niger Delta Leaders Want From Buhari
As part of efforts to stop the lingering crisis in the Niger Dekta region, President Muhammadu Buhari met leaders and traditional rulers from the region on Tuesday, November 1.
The meeting was held to discuss the issue of militancy and security in the region which has led to a sharp decline in oil production and affected Nigeria’s earnings.
Below are the 16 demands the Niger Delta people want for peace to be restored in the oil-rich region.
1. Inclusive participation in oil industry and ownership of oil blocs
The people are demanding that the federal government include the region in the sharing and ownership of the oil blocs in the country. They want policies and actions that will address the lack of participation, as well as the imbalance in the ownership of oil and gas assets to be affirmed.
2 The presidential amnesty programme
The oil-rich region is asking for a review of the programme to reappraise its core mandate to provide a robust exit strategy. The people want the government to make provisions for jobs for the ex-militants after the programme. This will effectively integrate them and wean them off dependency on stipends so that their new-found skills would be of benefit to themselves and the larger community.
3. Law and Justice
The Niger Delta people want the federal government to address a number of pending law and justice issues regarding some aggrieved groups and individuals. by the people of the Niger Delta, under the aegis of Pan-Niger Delta Forum.
4. Relocation of the administrative and operational headquarters of the IOCs
They want the headquarters of major International Oil Companies (IOCs) to be moved to the Niger Delta region as most are located outside the region. According to them, this deprives the people of all the developmental and associated benefits that would have accrued to the region from their presence. Moving the headquarters to the Niger Delta region would create a mutually beneficial relationship with the host communities.
5. The effect of increased military presence in the Niger Delta
The people are asking the government to halt the escalation of tension in the region which is caused by the increase in military presence. They listed the effects of the increased military presence in the region to include invasion of communities, displacement of persons, harassment and other forms of human rights abuses.
READ MORE:http://www.londonloaded.com.ng/2016/11/a-must-read-16-things-niger-delta.html

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Nobody: 11:46pm On Nov 03, 2016
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Lawcurrent(m): 12:14am On Nov 06, 2016
WIFE: I'm already 50 and one of your friends still finds me very attractive. HUSBAND: It must be Felix, that igbo boy abi? WIFE: Yes, how did you know? HUSBAND: Easy, he deals in anything Scraps and fairly used. Then the fight started till now their are fighting

5 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Lawcurrent(m): 12:14am On Nov 06, 2016
WIFE: I'm already 50 and one of your friends still finds me very attractive. HUSBAND: It must be Felix, that igbo boy abi? WIFE: Yes, how did you know? HUSBAND: Easy, he deals in anything Scraps and fairly used. Then the fight started till now their are fighting

5 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by dogzzy(m): 12:24pm On Nov 10, 2016
Go to www.londonloaded.com.ng for latest updates

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by dogzzy(m): 12:37pm On Nov 10, 2016
APC accuses Wike of interfering with police investigation into fake result sheets
The All Progressives Congress (APC) in Rivers, on Thursday accused Gov. Nyesom Wike of interfering with police investigation of those arrested allegedly printing fake INEC result sheets.
This is contained in a statement issued by the party’s Chairman in the state, Chief Davies Ikanya, in Port Harcourt.
The News Agency of Nigeria [NAN] recalls that the police had on Saturday arrested some individuals allegedly involved in printing the fake result sheets, few days after the national electoral commission fixed Dec. 10 for legislative re-run elections in the state.
Gov. Wike was reported to have accused the police of plotting to cover-up the matter by transferring the case to its Zone 6 headquarters in Calabar, Cross Rivers, for investigation.
Read more:http://www.londonloaded.com.ng

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:47am On Nov 12, 2016
Three elderly men Akpos, Emu and Ofego were at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor said to Akpos, "What is three times three?" "274" was his reply. The doctor said to Emu, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday", replied Emu. The doctor said to Ofego, "Okay, your turn. What is three times three"? "Nine", said Ofego. "That's great!" said the doctor. "How did you get that"? "Simple," said Ofego. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

2 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Nature8(m): 1:30am On Nov 13, 2016
Funny jokes..
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 1:18am On Nov 14, 2016
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 12:57am On Nov 15, 2016
Ofego dancing funnily to May D, Davido and Akon's new song. Download the funny video here www.njuwo.com/2016/11/may-d-hustle-ft-davido-akon-njuwo-dance.html?m=1 Watch it here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=806mhU5nwVI&itct=CKYBEKQwIhMIkv2om7mp0AIV1bEWCh0emA_sMgljNC1mZWVkLXVaGFVDZFpjYlBUYXAyOERhWVF2SUk3a0dMQQ%3D%3D&gl=NG&client=mv-google&hl=en
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 1:57am On Nov 15, 2016
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Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Lawcurrent(m): 1:39pm On Nov 15, 2016
Dear Donald Trump
Since you have won election... plz come collect this white people who stands infront of the boutiques wearing expensive clothes doing nothing we are also tired of them ..... africans we dont tolerate lazy people
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Sunglow: 2:57pm On Nov 15, 2016
Wife: Honey why would you buy me 20 panties of the same colour? Do you want people to think I don't change panties?

Husband: Which people?

1 Like

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by elijahkayode(m): 7:26pm On Nov 15, 2016
With an added bit of genius Crazeclown shows Nigerians Reaction To Trumps Victory. This video will definitely make you Smile

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8k-cvBGSNII
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 1:10am On Nov 17, 2016
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 1:01am On Nov 18, 2016
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Amaechi9(m): 6:18am On Nov 18, 2016
Lol
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:53am On Nov 18, 2016
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2 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 6:27am On Nov 19, 2016
Ofego was eating at a resturant and enjoying his Hi Malt when a man entered the restaurant with a brief case. Ofego thought he is a big politician because his dressing and pot belly portrayed it. He walked and sat down as everybody looked at him. Suddenly a woman came to him and started crying. The woman knelt down and told him that her children and her wants to die of hunger ever since her husband died. The man opened the brief case and gave the woman four hundred thousand naira. The woman jumped up and left in happiness. Ofego was still watching when another man crying, came to him. He knelt down and beggged him that he needed money to establish a business. The man brought out two million naira cheque and gave him. This time, Ofego started murmuring and practicing on the lie he will blow to have his own national cake. He started crying and went to the man.
Immediately he knelt down, he heard, "Cut!! Cut!! Cut!!!". He turned and saw the director of the movie laughing and said, "Bros, it's a movie we are shooting here oh!".

4 Likes

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by lawlan234: 10:34am On Nov 19, 2016
You need to watch this comedy skit....making brain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqKcTgz3fdg
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by lawlan234: 11:11am On Nov 19, 2016
Thisboy entertainment presents to u

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d25jEe-R6ok
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Lawcurrent(m): 12:48pm On Nov 20, 2016
Me: Babe I really want U 2 be mine
.
Girl: Lol! I have a boyfriend sorry.
.
Me: Goalposts have keeper but strikers still score.
.
Girl: Lol! U look like a defender in this one then.
.
Me: Sergio Ramos is a defender but He has scored in 2 champions league finals.
.
Girl: Whatever Dude! And besides my boyfriend is tall and rich.
.
Me: Manuel Neuer is 6'4 but Messi still chipped Him.
.
Girl: Lol! But U know that Messi is richer than Manuel
Neuer right?
.
Me: Sure I know but Messi isn't taller dan Him, so that is 1 - 1 and that was all Barcelona needed to oust Chelsea and
move on to win the champions league that year. So?
.
Girl: U never give up do U?
.
Me: Chile kept playing for 99 years before they went in to win the
copa America. And then won it back to back.. So?
.
Girl: Lol! This your knowledge of soccer will really take U to places.
.
Me: Lol, surely will and the next destination is your heart.
.
Girl: U know I could just block U now?
.
Me: In 2006 Petr Cech tried blocking Stephen Hunt from scoring,
Cech ended up hurting Himself alone.
.
Girl: Loool! U are genius, here is my contact ************** call me I'll be free this weekend
Me: kikikikiikikikkikiki
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by Lawcurrent(m): 1:50pm On Nov 20, 2016
Fada Fada remix ft Buhari. . . .
.
.
Buhari's verse:
"Since I win Presidency I dey travel go obodo
oyibo,
.
na spacecraft remain for me baba u know,
.
ndi Igbo biko bia n'ebe a take photo.
.
E no easy 2 dey chill with presido Obama.
.
Na teacher figure the presido e be 2 me o,
.
since I lost my senses na him dey come dey
help me o..
.
i say gone are the days wen 9ja people dey see
petrol oh
.
right abt na 500 make 1dollar
.
I thank AsoRock agu na echemba akanchawa o.
(akanchawa)
.
Na bullet proof cars me and my guards de take
waka o
(akanchawa)
.
Oya Jonathan where you dey o (Jonathan)
.
EFCC where you dey o
Wa le le
# Don 't sing alone pass it on for others to sing```can you see that your president is even a musician he even went ahead to do father father remix with phyno...LMAO.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by stamcy(m): 9:11pm On Nov 20, 2016
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 1:23am On Nov 21, 2016
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by greatwhite(m): 11:03pm On Nov 21, 2016
married
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by njuwo(m): 2:28am On Nov 24, 2016
Re: Nigeria Jokes Update With Ofego by mickeyjay16: 4:07am On Nov 24, 2016
[img][/img] [img][/img]
Did you take a good look at those amazing pictures?
What they show you is a “Before & After” Picture of a young man (me) whose life was
once a nightmare. All thanks to my formal Bald hair.

“My Friends Laughed At Me All Because I Had a Bald Hair!”

My brothers and sisters being bald is so embarrassing oh!
All because of this bald hair matter my friends usually pure rains of insults like Half a Plot, moon head, mirror in the sun, express road, shine shine bobo..oh men!

In short, the insults got me so hard, I became an introvert with no social life whatsoever.
Basically, I had a pitiful social life then!
That was like 12 years ago.

Fast forward today, I now have a full hair, all thanks to the 100% Natural Secret!

But Truth is…

“It Runs in the Family BUT this 100% Natural Cure Stopped it…Permanently!”

[img][/img]

You see, my grandfather on my mothers side was bald!
My dad has a terrible bald hair too.
Even my mom suffers from hair loss too.

When I saw my mum elder sister’s own, Sister Ronke, then I know “the Struggle was real”, as the woman suffers from severe hair loss too, then I knew women too suffer from hair loss too.
See it here..

“If my Family Members Suffers from Serious Hair Loss, What Was in Store for Me?”

But one thing was sure, I will do everything I could to keep my hair from falling off!
I have a very big head and robust “Ogor” so I will look like Humpty Dumpty if I am always on skin, which was the normal style for guys with bald hair.
[img][/img]
So back then when I used to have nice looking hair there was this day I tried combing my hair, because I do comb them according to the wave of the hair.
I started noticing that I begin to lose some hair and some hair will stand straight up after combing, at first I ignored that, thinking it was a new strand of hair re-growing.

“The Reverse Was the Case!”
***I was losing my fine hair “slowly”!
***It was falling out!
***I was losing my youthful look!

After like a week time it was like the witches in my village caused me with rapid hair loss!

Look at this..For over 7yrs I tried several things….
Is it mixing weed with spirt?
Is it using onion and vinegar?
I even used egg too!

Nada!

My brothers and sisters I tried it all..

But nothing worked…but I got “Gingered” when the girl of my dream embarrassed me…
Then the Turning point came when I feel deeply in love with one fine and fresh babe, Amaka Eze....
Amaka was the kind of babe I desire to get married to..beautiful, caring and loving.
I tried toasting her severally, but she “Friend-Zoned” me.

I tried all I could but this babe no gree oh!

So on this blessed day, I decided to ask her why she never even gave me any attention all.

Then she dropped the reason…
She said, sorry Segun, Bald guys are not my type!

I was so furious and disappointed…

So I asked why..

"Then she said, I will be make fun of, and people will use your bald hair to describe you as my boyfriend."

I never felt so embarrassed about my hair loss condition until that day.

I got angry and furious.

Then I went on a rampage to search for a quick solution to my Bald hair Palava.

For good 2 years, I tried all sort of things that never worked, then I was chatting with a friend in the U.S.A on facebook, then I told him about my Bald hair issues…he was surprise that I haven’t solved the problem, then he told me about a permanent Solution he used to cure his Hair loss…

Look at How His Hair Before & After…
[img][/img]



All Thanks to EL-GLITTAS HAIR WONDER NATURAL OIL!

At first I was skeptical as hell!

But I had to give it a try first..

Then I got in contact with the direct seller who sold if for me for N5,000 per bottle, and N2000 for the cream so I got 3 bottles and the cream (i.e N5,000 x 3= N15,000) + N2000=N17,000 for a standard 4 month treatment!


[img][/img] [img][/img]




Although I don’t promise an overnight miracle, results vary, but for me, I started seeing the result in just 27 days!
As if that’s not enough…

To make my hair grow faster, I did a bit of research for a POTENT hair food, lo and behold I was introduced to an amazing hair food Approved by NAFDAC!

The name of the product is Hair Wonder and it have been performing wonders on my hair like kilode!


At first the hair was not re-growing first, but after like 7 days of usage I saw some small small cool changes!
⦁ In 27 days I got my sexy face back!
⦁ In 4 Month’s all My Bald Hair was gone!
⦁ I was becoming the man I want to look like!
⦁ I was gaining my confidence back!
How Sweet!
Like wide fire my new started spreading and I had to help over 25 people, both men and women…
CHECK pics of people who used it
[img][/img] [img][/img]


if you would like to learn more about this wonder oil and would like to order yours now you can visit http://365naijablog..com.ng/2016/11/suceess-stories-how-you-can-cure-your.html.
there are limited amount of the product available . so it will be better if you pre-order now. the best part about it , is that we offer free delivery anywhere around lagos and a charge of N3000 outside lagos. even if you live in the north . also we offer discounts if your purchase a cartoon of this product for those who own saloons. now is the time to get rid of that bald head and look beautiful and handsome once again!!
[img][/img][img][/img]
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