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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law (7543 Views)
My Brother-in-law Beat My Sister This Morning. What Should I Do? / My Brother In Law (sister's Husby) Is Becoming Too Rude For My Liking... / My Brother's Fiancee Is An Ex-prostitute Have Slept With. Should I Tell (2) (3) (4)
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Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by mployer(m): 2:31pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
$ugardaddy:Well, we read nothing about you apologising in d post. We only read about ur wife and MIL apology and the need to straighten out ur BIL. I am not saying u lied but u didn't sound like someone who would do dat naturally. 1 Like |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 2:34pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
@Sugardaddy, u wana deal with your bil? You must be ready to deal with all the family members. He I don't he really meant what he did, by crying self means he is not happy about the whole situation. Am sure he don't call you a stupid man, maybe all he said was why will you do this why will you do that and maybe with his voice raised all cos his sister is not happy in her home. I see your bil as the father in that house, you don't mention father which stand to say maybe he is late, so he stand as your wife father n bil, he is also a man who knows what it means for a man not to eat his wife food, that is as worst as biting her. I am married and I know how I feel when I cook and my husband doest eat it, I pet/beg until I see him eat it. To crown it you stop sharing the same room with her, mennnn, its most hurting. Above all, I like men who don't accept trash from so called mother in laws who come to play I be the mama and knows all and controling. Well, whatever is good for you is good for your wife, I hope your wife will boldly tell your mother not to near her house when she misbehave too, deal with any sil or bil who try to come in, and stop cooking for you, sharing the room with you until you and your mother apologise. I see this coming soon. |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 2:34pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
$ugardaddy: Abegi, enough with the pity party. It takes a special kind of wicked person to still be planning to 'deal with' someone months after they offended you when everyone else has moved on. You are not seething because you want to prevent a future occurrence, you are seething because of your wounded pride and your sense of self importance. You have not said the bil has a pattern of being rude to you; the situation was that things had broken down between the two families, you disrespected his mother, he responded to you angrily because he got emotional about this. So what's hard in you moving on now? Shouldn't it be a simple matter of the next time you come across him, you say Lagbaja, I don't appreciate the way you spoke to me the other time. And the guy will say, bros e ma binu, my emotions got the better of me. End of story. Instead you are here months later plotting how to stab him in the back in the parking lot, months later. MONTHS o. You didn't 'deal' with it at the time it happened, you didn't deal with it the next day, not the next week, you didn't deal with it a month later, 2 months later you were still in a coma and you still didn't deal with it... Several months later, you are planning how to run him over with your car when he is crossing the road. What manner of wickedness is this? And people are busy petting you on the back and doing all manners of 'aponle'? Imagine, you not only wanted your wife to apologize on his behalf, you also wanted your MIL to apologize on his behalf. Wow. You disrespected your elder, your MIL, because you perceived she was overstepping her bounds, your bil did the exact same thing because he felt you were overstepping your bounds. Equation balanced. You now want to school someone on how to respect their elder? Spare me, please. Move on and stop feeling like people need to worship at your feet. If you don't go disrespecting people, no one will disrespect you. I don't care if you move on by having a candle light dinner with him or by having a spa date where you both cry on each other's shoulders. The bottom line is that you are quite out of line for still plotting revenge MONTHS later and you need to move the eff on!! *Note that I never said you were not justified in your approach with your mil because I know some people will try to jump on that.* 6 Likes |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by sugardaddy1(m): 2:35pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
m-ployer:Well, I did |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 2:39pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
Lol @ schooling him on how to respect his elders. . A family man? Guy, you get mind oooo. If na my brother, u go chop correct Slap! 3 Likes |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by sugardaddy1(m): 2:40pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
Phema: Lol @ schooling him on how to respect his elders. . Guy, you get mind oooo. If na my brother, u go chop correct Slap! |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 2:41pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
$ugardaddy: Oh yes, I said It! 1 Like |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by soulglo: 2:41pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
biolabee: If I read correctly, your wife and mil have apologised His wife and mother in law apologized to him and months later he still wants to possibly physically harm his brother in law. Seems to me the poster is on a power trip and is probably the trouble maker. His wife and mother in law probably apologized after his threats for the sake of peace. He just does not seem like a level headed person to me 4 Likes |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by sugardaddy1(m): 2:42pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
ileobatojo:You certainly made that up, you didn't get it from this thread. 1 Like |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by sugardaddy1(m): 2:44pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
soul_glo:Your assumption is very wrong. |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 2:45pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
$ugardaddy: You should be able to recognise sarcasm (which isn't even so far from the truth) when you see One! But, for where, your ego no go let you see road. So, if I may ask, how were you planning on dealing with him? Acid things? 2 Likes |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 2:46pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
$ugardaddy: You think? |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by sugardaddy1(m): 2:51pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
Ok, for the benefit of those of you who equate "deal with" to mean physical harm or injury to someone, let me explain what I mean by "deal with" :- 1. I will not call you for any reason whatsover. 2. I will ensure I don't participate in any event that will bring both of us physically together 3. I will ensure my children do not visit or have any interaction with you or your immediate family 4. etc, etc, etc They are boycott actions and not physical harm as being misinterpreted here. Besides, they may take years to realize . |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by sugardaddy1(m): 2:57pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
Okay, let me divulge some more info.... My BIL didn't stop at the insulting call, he got some quacks to threaten me with legal action if I didn't resolve issues with his sister (my wife) amicably. Of course, I swung into action and it took the concerted effort of both families to bring the situation under control as it was crystal clear I was out for outright divorce ( I was the only one who knew all the "gra gra" on my part were just "shakara" ). That was the part that got my wife and MIL begging. |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 2:57pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
$ugardaddy: O'rly? So you mean to tell us that all this time you've been calling him, frolicking with him and his family at parties/events, meanwhile you are harboring beef and vengeful thoughts in your mind? Yes? More evidence to your type of personality. No? You haven't? So if you are already 'dealing with him', why this thread? Lol. 1 Like |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by sugardaddy1(m): 3:00pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
ileobatojo:No contact or calls to or from him since after that rude call of his. The thread is to seek better and quicker ways to deal with him It's also to seek opinion if dealing with him or letting go and moving on is a better option . I have actually tried moving on, especially with my wife being very remorseful now, but that urge to "deal with" my BIL keeps rearing it's ugly head |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by sugardaddy1(m): 3:24pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
redeemersave:My wife never begged, she carried on for weeks as if nothing was at stake until she was advised that things were becoming irredeemable as in pdp now Telling my mother not to visit due to a misunderstanding that was started by her mother was the genesis of the whole problem. I simply told her "okay o, I have heard you but your mother will not visit again too ooo" and all hell was let loose!!! How am I the bad person here? |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 3:27pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
I know people don't threaten legal action for minor offences. Heavens knows what you did. As I said you seem proud and vengeful and egoistic. 1 Like |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 3:30pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
Why should she beg you to eat when as an adult you decide by your self not to eat. Please grow up. You are not a god to be worshipped 1 Like |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 3:33pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
Still you are here most of the times boasting of how much and how well you cheat on your wife. 1 Like |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 3:34pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
$ugardaddy: Oh, please don't let go ooooo. Ah Ah! Let go for what na? How dare him talk to you like that? Does he know who you are? Even if you kill his sister, is it any of his business? After all, you paid her bride price in Full! You have to put him in his Place! Next time, he will know who the "man" is. Ehen, how you want am? Acid, lynching, cutlass, knives, babalawo. . . Which? |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by sugardaddy1(m): 3:35pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
debrief08: I know people don't threaten legal action for minor offences. Heavens knows what you did.Okay but that's your personal opinion |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by sugardaddy1(m): 3:47pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
debrief08: Still you are here most of the times boasting of how much and how well you cheat on your wife.That was over 2 yrs ago. I have since turned over a new leaf and moved on or rather moved away from my fellow cheats! |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 4:06pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
Just 2 days ago, we were sharing tips on bonding for couples and you were sharing your cheating tips. |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by EveryLadY(f): 4:08pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
$ugardaddy: u sound so much like one of my BIL. On his part,he is not dealing with anybody o,yet he has practically fulfilled all u mentioned with some of us. Simply because we will not toe his line career wise. Sooo egoistic,behaving as if he is a demi-god. Thread softly my brother if u have respect for ur wify feelings. my opinion any way. U are only sure of ur actions,the reaction it will generate is beyond u. Lets try and keep the sanctity of our families.This is our core value. Find ways of bonding not tearing. 1 Like |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 4:13pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by Nobody: 4:17pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
debrief08: Just 2 days ago, we were sharing tips on bonding for couples and you were sharing your cheating tips. What cheating tips?? What are you on about picking on the guy sef .. really? He's a criminal Egoistic Self importance He's evil, run him over with his car/ acid Leave the guy alone na. 2 Likes |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by biolabee(m): 4:22pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
lol..........// |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by sugardaddy1(m): 4:29pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
NLanders!!! Una no go kill me ooo!!! I asked for advice, instead of giving me, most of you have turned against me Anyway sha, I appreciate all your comments, I actually made up my mind after that last post from debosky where maturity was advised as it was a family matter. As a mark of respect for my wife, I will ignore and move on as advised by the majority of posters here. I have also picked up opinions as being proud, vengeful and egoistic or egocentric from a couple of posters. Surprisingly, those are vices I hate most in individuals no matter how highly placed -I will deal with them as well and come out a better person thereafter . I will place a call to my BIL as advised and move on thereafter irrespective of whatever response I get from him. It may not be now but I certainly will do someday and I may not have to share that on this thread again. I must say that all your comments have pushed that inner "deal with him" urge away now and I can feel it finally getting out of my system for good . May God bless you all . |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by EveryLadY(f): 4:56pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
chaircover: on my part,he wants me to stay back east of Nigeria and pursue academic career as a lecturer. Me,I wanted a different thing. he felt humiliated and unimportant. |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by EveryLadY(f): 5:00pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
$ugardaddy: We are ur Landers family.love us or hate us,we are here for u. NB:inform the moderator to close the thread for u since u got the advice u sought after. |
Re: I Need To Deal With My Brother-in-law by biolabee(m): 5:00pm On Sep 09, 2013 |
Nice one... u have a resilient heart..this is good.. u have won your wife back..so be forgiving But apply it to the matter of your bil so u can have peace |
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