aniffy4eva:

This is precisely my point. Who determines the extent? I'm pretty impressed that she's very concerned about the image of the company and will not let her boss spoil it because of his "marital issues". The fact that she didn't mention anything about contacting the wife also shows that she isn't being meddlesome.

My main challenge with this thread, and largely the forum, is that there seems to be an ideal that we expect everyone to ascribe to just because we do. About being conversant with this section, trust me, i've been around for a while... No be by number of posts o.

My Yoruba folks will say "nkan ti ko da, ko da. Ko loruko meji" which literally means (and I will say this in pidgin) "wetin no good no good, e no get two names".

Bellong has nailed it all.

#exits thread.

aniffy4eva:


Assumptions! Assumptions!! Assumptions!!!
Then again, this is the kind of stuff Nigerians love to gobble.

I rest my case.

I will not make assumptions if I have not seen such scenario happened before. Experience they say is the best teacher. It is not restricted to Nigerians alone, applies to foreigners. I can say that from experience.

My assumption and advice is my personal opinion, only giving her some of my opinion which I believe will be useful to her to prevent story that touch in future.

Just looking at this thread again

OP, with ur moniker, you were DOA...

Nothing you say will not be viewed with suspicion

LOL

licious...

This thread has turned to fuji house of commotion! Aha!!!!

@Op, u sounded too bitter about this stuff. I agree that women should take care of their man but do not judge the woman because u don't know the situation of things at home.

I have a friend that is well educated but he can wear his boxers round our estate without feeling bad. His family will huff n puff but he wouldn't be bothered so u can't say if ur boss is such a man that u practically have to FORCED to care for himself.

U are hammering on the wife, try to blame to man too. He is not a baby like u put it, he is a grown man. If he wasn't married won't he take care of himself.

And sincerely, my hubby beta have a good reason for wearing another shirt home from work( not dat he'll even be allowed to step out in rumpled cloths).

Finally, @Op, u don't have to Yab or insult people cos they do not agree with ur Concern for ur boss.
I am not in support of this care of urs. If u know that u usually have meetings, advise him to always put clean spare shirts in his car, I know a lot of men that do that with their wife's consent.

Damn puss!y u cookn sumtn up ur sleeves;his married n shld respect dat u can only tel him jokinly nt tak him out to repair him,the man can change to his family wen is frnds notice change in is fashion sense,by dat askin wats d whole change abt lyk is dia a lady is tryna catch n he says a lady in her office has been hlpn her out,gbam! D frnds misundastood him n tel him he shld try u out cux he looks much apy wit u,there u go prob kicks off at wrk,prob in his home,puss!y save ur as!s by cuttn of a married home,,.....bt u def'corect abt d topic bt nt goin dat far sista#sorry 4 d explicit words used.am used to it.

I am glad some1 understands......... d ones that are wise would pick my point and ignore d less important tinss I av said...buh I can't blame most of d women they are guilty of it,they'll spend extra time by d mirror and ignore their husbands and for d men taking d piss it's not my fault u don't have a woman by ur side to correct u wen u were turn boxers around d house... @tpia 1st my boss does strictly polo by ralph and we ain't even in Nigeria so where do I get d bend down select from..most of u just typed to show ure Gud at bashing people guess what i'm not among d type of people u can make feel bad if u don't feel comfy wit my post take a bow or kip hitting ur heads on d wall.. who cares

Winneygirl: This thread hasn't gone down well.
I just think what she's saying is for wives to pay a little more attention to their husbands outlook.
After many years together and a number of kids, it may be hard cleaning up after the kids and checking to make sure he's shaved,no rumpled shirts etc.
.
A little attention in this regard from time to time should not hurt.

Lolz @ fuji house of commotion.
I just had to come back to the thread again oh, cos I'd already exited (out of anger sha )

aadetoyin: This thread has turned to fuji house of commotion! Aha!!!!

So my question is, how did the Op know the unkempt looks of her boss is the wife's fault..even going to the extent of saying the man eats outside before going home because of one thing or the other. And someone is up there talking about assumptions.

You don't know the situation at home so you cannot judge.

In as much as it's expected of the woman to ensure her man looks neat and presentable, same goes to the man - it's a two way thing.

From time immemorial, it's the woman who bears the grunt. Marriage fails - it's the woman's fault. Children turn out bad - it's still the woman's fault. Childlessness in a marriage - the woman's fault. Now husband looking unkempt - again the woman's fault.

It is well with women o!

I did mention using my boss as a case study . Several men and my boss is d closest example no hard feelings.

Efemena_xy: @OP, seeing as you can't help but empathise the 'plight' of married men, why not extend your humanitarian gesture of 'concern' to ALL married men?

I mean, why stop at your boss? What about your average roadside mechanic? Molue driver? Wheelbarrow pushed at the market? Hmmm?

Try to be more inclusive. Trust me, you'll be doing us married women a big favour, since we obviously haven't got a clue on how to 'maintain' our overgrown baby husbands.

Talk about taking Panadol for someone else's headache.

Mtcheew.

OP you better mind your business. What is our own? Are u his mother? A grown up man cannot see he looks untidy or notice his shirt is dirty before putting it on ba? It is his wife's job because he is helpless and crippled? Rubbish

Ffing another woman's husband to d salon wats d big deal in that, I guess u would b happier if I had said I followed him 2 a hootel and passed d nyt, I follwed him 2d salon some girl may av spent d nyt wit him on several cases.....my boss and I have a very good relationship and he doesn't take d piss, and I can't get sacked cos he dint employ me we are assigned to d same rig and hez just a senior colleague ... From time to time I correct every1 I can I only used my boss case... I am not talking abt spending money on vein tins 2 look beautiful but rather stay clean and presentable.

greatgod2012: @op; sincerely, sincerely, i mean i want to be sincere with you...............YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR........for...........
1. Following another woman's husband to a salon.
2. Buying a new shirt for another woman's husband at the place of his work, not as a gift but as a makeover, pray, tell me, where and how did you expect the man to tell his wife he got the shirt from or you expected him to go home and start fighting with his wife for failing to wear neat shirt on him(since to you he is a baby).
3. Being judgemental on the wife, do you know whether the woman complained before he left home and didn't answer her? Do you know whether the woman wasn't around on those days he came to office unkempt? Do you know whether the man usually and intentionally comes to office that way because he needs your attention and because he knows that you are not the type that do mind your business.
4. For calling your boss a baby who does not know how to look good and an untidy and unkempt man. Maybe, you dont know the implication of what you are doing, i just pray you won't get sacked one day with the excuse that you call and refer to your boss as a baby and a dirty pig.



Now, let me ask a question................ Can you proudly tell your boss' wife everything she failed to do to her hubby which you have helped her to do in the office?

If you cant; then it means you have overstepped your boundary and it is better for you to start retracing your steps.
May God help you. Amen.

I am married to an extremely neat man whose personal hygiene comes first before ANYTHING.

But if I had married a man like OP's boss, I would NEVER let my husband step out of the house looking that untidy. God forbid!

I would have nagged him to death till he learns about shaving and wearing clean clothes. I believe the way my husband looks is a direct reflection of who I am. If he looks tattered, then I am a tattered wife.

Yes, he's a grown a55 man, but he's my grown a55 responsibility.

Letting my husband go to work with dirty clothes is completely out of the question, I will never let that happen.

If it means washing his clothes myself, I will. If it means taking him to the barber's myself, I will. If it means cutting his nails myself, I will.

Bottom line, I agree with the OP. A woman should never let her husband leave the house looking untidy . . . simple!

All I see is this puss!y needs attention

Yab or insult people, did u ignore d ones dat started d insult first..... address dat 2 people dat are used to insulting people over d Internet I totally understand dats d only place they can hide and ain't so bold in real life. .......quote author=aadetoyin]This thread has turned to fuji house of commotion! Aha!!!!

@Op, u sounded too bitter about this stuff. I agree that women should take care of their man but do not judge the woman because u don't know the situation of things at home.

I have a friend that is well educated but he can wear his boxers round our estate without feeling bad. His family will huff n puff but he wouldn't be bothered so u can't say if ur boss is such a man that u practically have to FORCED to care for himself.

U are hammering on the wife, try to blame to man too. He is not a baby like u put it, he is a grown man. If he wasn't married won't he take care of himself.

And sincerely, my hubby beta have a good reason for wearing another shirt home from work( not dat he'll even be allowed to step out in rumpled cloths).

Finally, @Op, u don't have to Yab or insult people cos they do not agree with ur Concern for ur boss.
I am not in support of this care of urs. If u know that u usually have meetings, advise him to always put clean spare shirts in his car, I know a lot of men that do that with their wife's consent.
[/quote]

THANK U LORD,URE SUCH A DARLING.. d simple point d way a man looks on d outside is a reflection of whom d wife is...thats it...... my dear it's so obvious so many of them are guilty of dis dats why they are taking d piss, getting mad cos I followed him 2d salon, weither u like it or not, scatter ur dada hit ur heads on d wall, some of ur husbands have a smaller girl riding on dem as I type and he comes back home2u like nuffin happened and some of u dat know will cry ur eyes out...furious cos I accompanied a man 2d salon mtchewwwwww -----------------------i

Ujujoan: I am married to an extremely neat man whose personal hygiene comes first before ANYTHING.

But if I had married a man like OP's boss, I would NEVER let my husband step out of the house looking that untidy. God forbid!

I would have nagged him to death till he learns about shaving and wearing clean clothes. I believe the way my husband looks is a direct reflection of who I am. If he looks tattered, then I am a tattered wife.

Yes, he's a grown a55 man, but he's my grown a55 responsibility.

Letting my husband go to work with dirty clothes is completely out of the question, I will never let that happen.

If it means washing his clothes myself, I will. If it means taking him to the barber's myself, I will. If it means cutting his nails myself, I will.

Bottom line, I agree with the OP. A woman should never let her husband leave the house looking untidy . . . simple!

I don't know why the picture of the married women attacking OP is of fat lazy housewives.

She is right , and it is common in Nigerian homes for women to forget that their primary purpose in the home is to love their husband and together care for the kids.

sweet_gala: I don't know why the picture of the married women attacking OP is of fat lazy housewives.

She is right , and it is common in Nigerian homes for women to forget that their primary purpose in the home is to love their husband and together care for the kids.

Really?

I hope you know it works both ways? So you shouldn't have any qualms if a man from your wife's place of work deems her dressing tardy & takes it upon himself to take her shopping for 'acceptable' clothes, funds her saloon trips and judges you to be a negligent spouse - as per you've forgotten your primary purpose as a husband!

THANKS!!!! U'll b amazed at d no of hours some women spend seating by d mirror..pamper ur husbands shekana

Imanuelle: A man returns late from work somewhat tired

he probably gets carried away spending time with wifey then they sleep off

next morning it's time for work

then he discoveres there's no clean shirt left

he stays calm without even trying to raise an issue and probably tells full time housewife to help him wash some others

then he puts on some other shirt and goes to work

in as much as I think the op went too far going with him to the salon, I still think her message should not be ignored

why do women think they're the only ones to be pampered all the time?

Men need that too once in a while

now you all should quit ranting and take the advice

You think he's a man and therefore needs no attention right ?

If you don't take care of him then someone else May

Do u know why it won't happen, some of us intend taking Gud care of our husband d same way he'll take care of us, if u don't some1 else will but I ain't gonna let dat happen some women am sure even find it hard 2go shopping for their husbands and they want his life centered Ard dem will whine and cry all day if he doesn't give them a gift

Efemena_xy:

Really?

I hope you know it works both ways? So you shouldn't have any qualms if a man from your wife's place of work deems her dressing tardy & takes it upon himself to take her shopping for 'acceptable' clothes, funds her saloon trips and judges you to be a negligent spouse - as per you've forgotten your primary purpose as a husband!

And I got d attention obviously from u too

Boll2010: All I see is this puss!y needs attention

If God forbid, my husband goes to work in a dirty shirt and another woman has to put him in a clean one, then the following people have failed at some point or the other.

1. Me
2. Him
3. His parents

In an ideal world, an adult should know when to change his/her clothes and be well kempt & no one needs to teach an adult how to do that either male or female.

I definitely won’t like it but If there is no gap in the wall, then no lizard can get in and if another woman is helping to do "touch my husband up", then I only have myself to blame. A wife should be sensitive to her family’s different requirements and should do everything within her power to ensure that her family is first-class in everything.

@poster all said and done, some things are not appropriate. If you want to be of help, try to encourage your boss, to take better care of his appearance, but keep a respectable distance. For example instead of taking him to the salon, convince him to book for a mobile beautician/nail artist to come to the office to have his manicure or pedicure or haircut or whatever he needs doing in the office at lunch time or at the end of the day.

As per the dirty shirt issue, you can ask him to bring in a couple of clean shirts to the office that he can keep in the office and change into when he has important meetings. Let him find a drycleaner close to the office and let him be taking his dirty shirts there.

He is your boss at the end of the day and not a close friend or relative and you are not employed as his personal stylist and unless his dirty appearance is stopping your company from winning contracts or his body odour is disturbing the rest of the staff, you shouldnt get involved.

You may have meant well, but not all your actions will be seen that way. I can’t imagine your boss wife being happy with the situation if she finds out about things and it may even put more pressure on what could be an already pressurized marriage. I am sure you don’t want to be the cause of another person’s marriage breakup, especially if you didnt have ay ulterior motive, so be wise.

Efemena_xy: @OP, seeing as you can't help but empathise the 'plight' of married men, why not extend your humanitarian gesture of 'concern' to ALL married men?

I mean, why stop at your boss? What about your average roadside mechanic? Molue driver? Wheelbarrow pushed at the market? Hmmm?

Try to be more inclusive. Trust me, you'll be doing us married women a big favour, since we obviously haven't got a clue on how to 'maintain' our overgrown baby husbands.

Talk about taking Panadol for someone else's headache.

Mtcheew.

God bless you! My thoughts exactly

Thanks.....I'll work around dis next time.

chaircover: If God forbid, my husband goes to work in a dirty shirt and another woman has to put him in a clean one, then the following people have failed at some point or the other.

1. Me
2. Him
3. His parents

In an ideal world, an adult should know when to change his/her clothes and be well kept & no one needs to teach an adult how to do that either male or female.

I definitely won’t like it but If there is no gap in the wall, then no lizard can get in and if another woman is helping to do "touch my husband up", then I only have myself to blame. A wife should be sensitive to her family’s different requirements and should do everything within her power to ensure that her family is first-class in everything.

@poster all said and done, some things are not appropriate. If you want to be of help, try to encourage your boss, to take better care of his appearance, but keep a respectable distance. For example instead of taking him to the salon, convince him to book for a mobile beautician/nail artist to come to the office to have his manicure or pedicure or haircut or whatever he needs doing in the office at lunch time or at the end of the day.

Ujujoan: I am married to an extremely neat man whose personal hygiene comes first before ANYTHING.

But if I had married a man like OP's boss, I would NEVER let my husband step out of the house looking that untidy. God forbid!

I would have nagged him to death till he learns about shaving and wearing clean clothes. I believe the way my husband looks is a direct reflection of who I am. If he looks tattered, then I am a tattered wife.

Yes, he's a grown a55 man, but he's my grown a55 responsibility.

Letting my husband go to work with dirty clothes is completely out of the question, I will never let that happen.

If it means washing his clothes myself, I will. If it means taking him to the barber's myself, I will. If it means cutting his nails myself, I will.

Bottom line, I agree with the OP. A woman should never let her husband leave the house looking untidy . . . simple!

100% on point.

baby_123: Tell us how you want them to look for you. And we will make sure they suit your taste and preference. .

First of all, I thiink bellong's earlier post summarised the whole debate but I will also like to add this post even though it has some sarcasm in it.

While the poster has passed across a very important message to wives in general which wise women would take note, she has been extremely childish in her behaviour and actions. She obviously has gone too far.

Who determines how a man should look? Is it himself, his wife or his trendy fashionista PA? Nothing wrong in having a beard, sometimes I grow one too just to look different and who decides it is unkempt? If I had a subordinate like you, I would fire her cos I did not hire you to rate my looks every morning. If my wife is happy with my looks, it is none of your business. If your boss is dirty, that is his personal life and do not take it upon yourself to change him. When you eventually get married and your husband goes to work only to return and tell you his younger and more trendy secretary does not like the way he dresses, how would you feel? Or his younger and more trendy PA bought him what the "big boys" wear, how would you feel? You might think what he is wearing is good enough but his colleagues may hate it and think it is old school. So after 10 yrs of marriage, would you be happy if some 24 yrs old chic bought him a nice shirt and perfurme?

People have different styles, tastes and personalities and it is not your responsibility to change those especially when they involve another person's spouse. You dont like the man's appearance, your responsibility is to make sure your spouse appears neat and handsome to you, let his wife worry about that. You will soon grow up.

Booty... I understand u

Women are in trouble! anyway I do not think anyone should criticize a woman/man untill you know much about the situation from both sides.

I cannot imagine adding grooming a grown adult to the children I need to bath, dress up and feed, pack lunch/homework, school bag, water bottle etc for and get out of the house to their various schools before I resume work by 7am.

If he cannot help with any of these, the least he can do is to take care of his bloody self, and if my inability to do all these is what will 'give room' to another woman to do it, no problem, the woman can go ahead, we will see for how long she can do it for.

Nashville, the poster hasn’t experienced marriage so doesn’t really understand the dynamics involved in some marriages and she will most probably have a different perspective in a couple of year’s time. Some people only have a certificate in their wardrobe to say that they are married but are strangers to each other in every other area.

She does have a good general message though, which is that the “mother” of the home must keep an eagle eye on all areas, but she is going overboard by trying to perfect another woman’s husband to her own taste and for this I blame the husband for even letting another woman groom him. Whatever for? How did he become a baby that needs his nose wiped and “taken” to the salon like a 10 year old?

Many affairs start like this; whereby the man behaves as if he is helpless (which in many cases he isn’t) and an amazon woman comes to his rescue. It seems like he is enjoying all the attention, if not he should have been embarrassed the first time the poster mentioned his untidiness to him and he should have fixed himself up henceforth.

If he wears a dirty shirt to the office then fore and foremost, it’s his fault. Everyone should know left from right and wifey also has a fault for letting her husband walk through the door in such a state. Even if the man was stubborn, every woman should know how to “cajole” her man into doing the right thing. . . . .

. . . This man is an affair on legs waiting to happen. It’s just a matter of time.

yellowpawpaw:
Biolabee what is ganging up here?
Ok, lady pls continue with ur good work. U can extend it to other dirty males in ya office or outside ya office.

U r doing well,pls keep it up.

True that.

Maybe she can start a dry cleaning business.

Bootylicious: I did mention using my boss as a case study . Several men and my boss is d closest example no hard feelings.

Are you a lesbian?