Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? - Family - Nairaland
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| Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by bennysucre(f): 12:58pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
This is no super story o It happened way way back when i was little a child. i remember seeing my mum n uncle naked together in bed. popc usually left early for work n i noticed my uncle(popcs younger brother) would come around some hours later. often times, i'd be with mumc in her room n on her bed just chilling or making mischief but as soon as this uncle comes, he comes straight into her room,lures me with money to go buy babadudu(d black local candy then). when i return, i'd find out that mumcz room is locked n il be hearing voices suggesting something intimate is going on. on a particular occassion, he came around but i'd slept off on mumcz bed,he wanted to wake me but she told him to leave me. unknown to them that i was wide awake n only pretending, they got down to their dirty business with me there. i could here the 'oooos' n 'aaaaaaaas'. they finished n he left. thinking i was the only child that knew about it, i kept it to myself until recently when i was gisting about it with my sister. she was shocked cos she never knew that i was aware also. i wanted to confront mumc but she told me to chill saying er should let sleeping dogs lie. now my dad is late n the relationship btw mumc n my uncle is very frosty, sometimes i wonder how they managed to mess around then. d matter keeps bugging me anytime i remember cos i wonder if that abominable act of those days is to blame for a whole lot of issues we facing presently like delayed marriages,stagnation n d likes. im sorry if this is too long(trust me,i summarised it) but il love candid advice. should i let it go or confront mumc to confess? |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by pickabeau1: 1:00pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
You say it happened way back Are you in your 20s or 30s |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by bennysucre(f): 1:08pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
am in my mid 20s now |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by pickabeau1: 1:15pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
Wow.. this is the height of indiscetion by the mother in question .. However you are an adult now, move on with your life Confronting the issue may lead to more complications as you may still be under her roof Get your own life on track |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by Nobody: 1:15pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
Bro, The person that needed to know is no more, God will judge both your mum and uncle. He may have already started judging. They committed a sin against your dad and God and it was a long time ago. I will advice you to let it go. Pretend as if it never happened, I am sure your mum must be feeling guilty too, and you can see the result in the kind of relationship she has with your uncle. You and your sis should also try and forgive your mum, if you can and pray for yourselves. It will be well. 2 Likes |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by bennysucre(f): 1:25pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
pickabeau1: Wow.. this is the height of indiscetion by the mother in question ..am no longer under her roof anymore. i know im an adult now buh it hurts each time i think about it. at the wedding ceremony of my elder, this same uncle acted as the father as our dad is no more. felt soooo outraged. |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by bennysucre(f): 1:27pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
Nashville: Bro,so we should just let her go like dat? wondering how she'l feel if she knew we were aware all this while. this days, she badmouths him at the slightest opportunity she gets. my sis n i jst roll our eyes n be like 'whatever' |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by pickabeau1: 1:29pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
bennysucre: hmm.... unfortunate/// if your brother knew, he may not have allowed this to happen Dont let your fathers memory be spoiled longer... stop him from doing your own... I feel u bro But move on... 1 Like |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by Ralphlauren(m): 1:30pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
bennysucre: what exactly do you want from her? a confession or what? or do you want to embarrass her or shame her publicly? 1 Like |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by Ralphlauren(m): 1:37pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
do you know the circumstances and what led to their relationship? do you know if he was blackmailing her or something? do you know if she was happy while married to your dad? 1 Like |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by modextus(m): 1:58pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
What's bad if he confronts her..nursing serious issues like this bugs me like crazy, most especially when i get to see the person in question like always... Let it out bro 1 Like |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by Nobody: 2:00pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
bennysucre: This is no super story o Some things you can't let go off,somethings you can't move on from until you address it. Go home and tell your mother you knew,tell her how you feel,forgive her and your uncle. |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by bellong: 2:10pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
Sometimes, carrying such weight is not easy except you let it out. The best way for you to free yourself is to let it out so there can be relief and lifting of burden. She is your mother and you have every right as a child to talk things through with her not with the intention of revenge but unloading your burdened heart. If your sister agrees, arrange a meeting together with your mum choosing a convenient time for all parties. Let her understand all what you know and that despite it, she still has your respect and trust as a mother but you are only telling her to understand that you are getting it off you. Whatever reason she did it is none of your business but her and do not question why. Forgive her and move on with your life. It must be noted that she sinned against her husband and God, not the children. 3 Likes |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by bennysucre(f): 2:24pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
Ralphlauren: do you know the circumstances and what led to their relationship?do u mean such kinda behaviour is acceptable given some circumstances? lemme mention that he was married with kids at that time. i dont want a public show of shame or anything of the sort, just a simple acknowledgement if her error n an apology cos it really affected me in ways u cant imagine. 1 Like |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by bennysucre(f): 2:28pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
modextus: What's bad if he confronts her..nursing serious issues like this bugs me like crazy, most especially when i get to see the person in question like always...tnx o. but its not gonna be easy at all |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by dayleke: 2:40pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
Sorry about that bro., I will suggest asking/confronting her so you can move ahead with your life... PS;On another news,what led to your dad's demise? How did he die?just asking? |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by kreamidiva(f): 2:55pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
I think the issue should be addressed. Let her know how her actions affected you and forgive her and move on. Let it off your chest.speak to her. IMO O |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by bennysucre(f): 3:15pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
dayleke: Sorry about that bro.,old age i guess. he was 76 at d time of death. he was the eldest amongst his siblings. |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by kendraloops(f): 3:23pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
hmmmm, this is quite serious o. its a reminder to parents to be careful of what they do while their kids are around cos u never know which memory or events they will hold on to for life. @op, confronting ur mother wud make her feel so ashamed n might possibly mske her start to think a lot giving rise to a high bp. i suggest u let things go, make ur peace with urself n move on. ignore mumc anytime she makes any comment abt it. be strong dear |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by soulglo: 3:35pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
Can you get some DNA from your uncle? You might be his child. 5 Likes |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by Sharp9: 3:37pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
Ask your mumc everything about that affairs because that 'uncle' of urs cld be ur biological father. Just saying sha 1 Like |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by SlyIg(f): 3:52pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
soul_glo: Can you get some DNA from your uncle? You might be his child.Hahaha ... Nna, nawa ooo |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by pickabeau1: 3:56pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
soul_glo: Can you get some DNA from your uncle? You might be his child. Deep.. i never thought of this Wow.. such complications |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by kendraloops(f): 4:06pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
soul_glo: Can you get some DNA from your uncle? You might be his child.never tot of it dis way too ooo. adultery is bad. steer clear. |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by Nobody: 4:07pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
@ op,i know u feel her action is the reason for the stagnation you people are facing now but i dont belv in that. You are responsible for anytin that happens to you,. If there will be an stagnation,then it has to be in her own life not on another person. But i knw u your mind will keep playing games on you if you dont confront her. Confront,but not to bash or cause a scene. Tell her how the memories couldnt leave no mater how u suppress it. Tell her how u feel her actions has affectd the family,and as one family seek solution. She has to admit she has wronged u all,it may nt be an open confession but she needs tedious deliverance,especially now that your dad is no more. This will only turn tins arnd spiritually and psychologically. Physically,u need to hustle and confront any stagnation tactically. You people may have being doing the wrong thing,how can u progress with that? #goodluck# 2 Likes |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by modextus(m): 4:09pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
pickabeau1:like seriously?? You never did? Wanted saying the same thing but i felt it would have sounded harsh and i had a feeling that he might have thought of that to and would have come to a conclusion on his own. Maybe you're not the nollywood type shaa. 1 Like |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by bennysucre(f): 4:25pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
soul_glo: Can you get some DNA from your uncle? You might be his child.hmmm,dont go there o cos i think my elder sis n his first child look alike alot. back then,people asked them a lot if they were siblings. i av never voiced this thought of mine to my sis ever. mehn, this stuff is messed up. |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by mysticgal(f): 5:41pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
bros go do DNA it might probably ease the tension,  meanwhile i suggest you forgive and move on |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by mysticgal(f): 5:41pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
. |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by Nobody: 5:51pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
Sharp9: Ask your mumc everything about that affairs because that 'uncle' of urs cld be ur biological father. Just saying sha Too much sense in this. |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by bennysucre(f): 5:56pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
mysticgal: bros go do DNA it might probably ease the tension,i think murder will be the case if i find out that my uncle's my real dad. no, i dont think i wanna go down that road. whaaaaaaaat! no no no, il just believe my dad's my real dad. no DNA's for me. 1 Like |
| Re: Ow Do I Deal With My Mum N Uncle? Should I Tell On Them Or Let Go? by dayleke: 6:19pm On Sep 20, 2013 |
^^^ This is the one they say "water don pass gaarri o". O boy,e no easy o... 1 Like |
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