Hello.
This is my first attempt at writing a fiction story. There's going to be a lot of mistakes and I know that there are many people who are more experienced than I am in writing fiction here. So please if you notice any mistake point it out and help me get better. Thanks a lot. I'll update daily(I'll try my best). I'll appreciate encouragements too

I give u my attention.....

Caro stood upright on the bed startled. She'd heard the sound again, this time louder and closer. She dreaded going to bed each night now because of the constant shrill sound. At about the same time every midnight, a piercing cry like that of a frightened dog or crying baby filled her room causing her to lose sleep. Ever since the situation began two weeks ago, she had always left her lights on each time she goes to bed, afraid to be in the dark. But today the power had been cut off and it was even darker. What made it more frightening was that her parents claim that they'd never heard any sound coming from anywhere. She wondered at how deeply they slept. How could they not hear the sound? She pulled the covers higher over her head tightening her palms around her pillows and pressing them to her ears.

As she contemplated staying on the bed and enduring yet another sleepless round of the horrifying ordeal she heard the sound again, close to her window this time. She stood abruptly and cowered beside her wardrobe. She couldn't take it anymore. She had to do something about this before it drove her crazy.
She quickly made a decision.
Wrapping the blanket around her frame tenaciously, she tiptoed towards her bedroom door. She opened it and peered through the corridor. She walked down the narrow dark hallway feeling her away around the walls. Her legs hit something on the floor that made a creaking noise. She stopped to listen to if it woke anyone in the house. There was no movement so she kept walking. She picked up a torchlight that was usually kept on a table beside the entrance and opened the front door.

She stepped into the still and starry night. It was eerily quiet. Even the crickets were silent. This was odd since It was the rainy season. The maize and vegetable crops that her mother had planted around the house had reached their peak and were like the evil forest pending doom for their family. She had always nagged her mother to harvest them quickly and clear the ground, stating that their neighbours who also gardened had already started picking theirs, but her mother had refused saying it was not yet time.
Now she walked tentatively through a cleared pathway between the crops, every step heavy with fear and dread. She stopped at the bend close to the back of window because she thought she saw something. It was an irregularly shaped figure. It looked huge and she couldn't tell what it was because the moonlight cast a shadow that made it difficult to dicipher. The figure was looking straight at her with bright yellow eyes. She started to scream and run back but her words got stuck to her throat. Her feets refused to move. She shut her eyes tightly and felt the fear spreading through her body. A hand slid around her neck stiffling her. The flashlight knocked out of her hand and she found herself falling to the ground, completely blacked out...

*to be continued*

afamjb: I give u my attention.....

Thanks

She looked around her. Her eyes blurred dizzily. She wondered where she was and why there were voices talking at the same time. As she let her eyes wander she heard her mother's voice.

" You have woken up" she said, holding a towel in her hands and cleaning her palms with it..
"Mum? Where am I?"
" You were on the ground this morning outside the house. what's the matter with you Caro? What were you doing outside in the middle of the night?"

Her head pounded but she remembered. The noise. That awful sound. Flashlight. The ugly creature. Yellow eyes. Hands around her neck. She tried to explain but her voice croaked and she coughed. Her mum gave her water to drink.
"I have warned you to stop walking around anyhow at night. Thank God nothing happened. If you try this again I will lock you up in your room you won't be able to come out for days"

She could see their neighbour, Mrs Bridget, her mum's best friend sitting on a chair accross the room and peeling oranges. the same question was on her mind.
"Good morning ma"
"Caro you've heard your mother, stop playing around at night again you hear?"
Why did they think she was playing? What she saw was very real. But they weren't ready to listen
"Yes ma" she answered

"What of dad?" Caro asked her mother
"He has gone to work. Now get up and go have your bath. Then come and eat"
"Okay mum" she answered and started to move her feet from the bed to the floor
Then she asked "did you kill it?"
"Kill what?" Her mother asked
"The thing. That bird or cat that was on the fence. Is it dead now?"
" There was nothing like that. You were dreaming. And next time when you dream like that don't go running out of the house by yourself"
"But mum, this is real, I wasn't dr..."
" I said don't leave the house like that again"
She nodded angrily, why could they never believe her?
Mrs bridget said something to her. She didn't hear

At ten years old nobody could ever take her seriously. She had had many experiences on different occassions. Once, something grabbed her from under the bed. She had jumped and fled to her sisters bed. Luckily for her it was one of the weekends when her sister came home for mid term breaks. She couldn't tell anyone because she knew they would only laugh at her again and say she was crazy. Another time, she was walking home from school through a narrow path. She heard someone call her name from the trees. She turned but didn't see anyone. Then She ran. She ran and ran and slumped heavily in her mothers kitchen. Fortunately there was nobody there. She vowed never to take that route again

She could still see the image of that creature on the wall at the back of her mind, it was very vivid. What was it? She asked herself over and over again. What if it came back with vengeance this night? What if it decided to attack her this time? She shuddered at the thought. She walked quietly to her window and fearfully looked out to the spot where she had seen it the night before.

"What are you doing?" Her mothers voice startled her "have u had your bath?"
"No"
"Common leave that place and go and bath."
She sulked and walked out of the room

Feedbacks please!! Even If it is ..your writing sucks. Anything!! Lemme just know what u think

Keep on writing dear.

sholay2011: Keep on writing dear.

nice peace dear
this is my kind of story
please continue,
im right behind u-

That night she slept peacefully. She dreamt she was in a garden full of beautiful flowers. The smell was sweet like the taste of twinkies. She saw several fruits that looked appealing and the beautiful birds were singing melodiously. She floated through the paved walkways and looked down. She was walking on gold her reflection was striking. As she sat on the grasses admiring her most amazing environment, a white butterfly perched on her shoulder. She rested the back of her palms beneath it and watched it fly away. A pink fruit looked delicious and she went to pluck it. She touched it and started to draw it away from the tree. But immediately it turned to the head of huge snake with long black tongue. It hissed at her and she screamed.
She woke and gasped. Opposite the room on the wall the clock chimed 6. Clock. This was the longest time she ever slept in two weeks.

She got up from the bed and went to wash her face. As she walked out of the bathroom, something drew her back forcefully. Scared, she turned but it was only the door handle that had clung to her dress. Relieved she distangled herself and went into the kitchen.

Her dad was pouring out hot water for tea. He loved his tea and never missed it every morning
"Good morning daddy"
"How are you my dear. Did you sleep well?"
She paused. "Yes dad"
He noticed the frown on her face
"What is it? Yesterday you were lying outside on the ground. Why? What were you doing outside by that time?"
He had had to leave for work very early and by the time he returned back she had slept.
"Daddy.."
"Tell me, what is it?"
"I've been seeing and hearing things"
"Things like what?"
"Animals and bad people. They try to kill me"
Her dad was silent and thoughtful
"If it happens again let me know okay? But don't think about it. No one is trying to kill you"

jayloyexten: nice peace dear
this is my kind of story
please continue,
im right behind u-

Thanks!

Evad: nicey!

good job, I'm lovin it

Really?? Thank u

Mrs Dauda sat across the receptionist desk. She'd been waiting for almost 30minutes now to see the optometrist. Few days ago she'd noticed a severe pain in her right eye that disturbed her activities and made her restless. Not knowing what to do she'd fixed an appointment with her friend's husband who had an eye clinic in central Lagos. Although it was a daring drive from the outskirt of town where she lived, she had risked it because she couldn't bear the excruciating pain anymore.

"Mrs Dauda? The doctor will see you now"
"Okay"
She got up and walked down the hall.
The hospital was a fairly big one. It was a renowned clinic which attracted the patrony of prominent personalities in the city and beyond.
Richard was sitting behind the large mahogany table. He looked up when she came in.
" Mrs Dauda, good to see you"
"Good to see you too. How is the everything?"
" We can't complain." He joked. "How is your family? Its been a while, I'm sure the girls are all grown up now"
"You can say that again. They are growing up so fast. We are doing very great"
She had taken her seat now and was looking around admiring the paintings on the walls and pictures on the table. A sharp pain shot through her eyes, she held it and gasped.
Dr Richard came around her.
"When did this start?"
"Just few days ago. I woke up to this pain"
"Hmm, let's take a look at it"
He raised his bright light and probed her pupils. Then checked the left eye as well. He performed the split-eye test and confirmed it as an infection.
"Hmm. It appears your eye nerve has reacted to something. It will go soon with proper medication" He handed over Zovirax (Aciclovir) eye ointment and Virgan (Ganciclovir) eye gel
" apply them every eight hours daily."
She thanked him profusely and stood up to leave. As she approached the door, she remembered a detail and turned back again.
"Doctor, I've meaning to ask your advice concerning something that has been bothering me"
Dr Richard looked up" what is it?"
" Its about my daughter."
"You mean Mary?"
"No, Caroline."
"Oh." The doctor said, "what's the matter?"
"She's been complaining frequently about seeing and hearing things in the dark. I'm worried. The other day she refused to stay with my neighbour during the weekend when I was away on a seminar trip because she said she'd seen her put children's blood in empty wine bottles. Of course I know there's nothing like that. Bridget makes a red local drink and stores them for her family because she believes they are nutritional. I'm concerned. Do you think that this might be something serious?"
"Hmm. Children are usually that way at a tender age. Has she been watching horror-filled movies lately?"
"No. I never let my children see those kind of films"
"Okay. What you can do is help her understannd that her fearful thoughts are both unfounded and unhealthy for her mind. "
"Understand her fears and believe that they are real to her. Show love and emphasize the genuine nature of the people around her."
"Thank you so much "

She exchanged pleasantries with a waiting patient she recognized and walked back to her car

Following...

For a starter dear, u re doing a swell job and i'm really enjoying it.

#following

wheres this gurl sef-
see, i will charge you for bad customership ethics, threat to life for keepin me on suspence inter alia-

oya english has finished- come 'n update!

Please, don't tell me the story has ended? I love thrillers and I'm loving this.

Thanks chocopearl, raregem.
Lol.@jaylo.
Update coming immediately!

Scene 5

Caroline sat dazed in the class. Miss Maria, her teacher, was writing on the chalkboard but she could care less. Her mind was very far away. She knew Miss Maria hated her. She has always used indirect ways of letting her know how much she detested her. Many times Caroline looked away sharply whenever her teacher turned back from the board because she was sure she was about to say something to humiliate her. "Why must it be me all the time?" She thought to herself. "Why not shout at Goodness or even the noise maker Vicky?" She believed that each time her teacher directed a question at her, the note in her voice was always higher than the normal tone she uses for others

All the pupils in the class would hardly talk to her. They never play or share their things with her. She wouldn't even collect them anyway because she knew if she asked for a pencil sharpener they'd give her razor blade intentionally so she could cut herself or give her ragged rulers that had sharp edges. Foods were the worst things. They were all poisoned.

"Caroline I asked to turn to the next chapter and answer the questions. What are you staring at? Start your work immediately"
"Yes miss". And opened her workbook.
But her mind drifted again.

She couldn't fight the thought of how she would escape from class. The teacher from yesterday had warned her to be at the field by exactly 12 noon or else something would kill her in her sleep. She had only seen him twice in that week but he had deadly eyes and even though he was the new P.E teacher, he had instilled enough fear in her to want to do whatever he tells her. She was walking towards her class in the morning when he'd called her. She wanted to run and hide but he'd seen her already and she had no choice but to respond, but as she walked toward where he was she could feel her head wobbling and her hands shaking. He was going say something terrible to her. She was sure of that. As he was talking, all she could hear was " field...12..late...sleep...kill.....mother..." randomly like that.

She wondered what she would do now and what would happen if she couldn't get out of class. He was definitely evil. Maybe he wanted to strangle her and cut her up in small pieces then send her body parts in a bag home. Or he wanted to....

The clock stuck 12.00 on the wall above the board. She broke out in sweat, her hands shivering, wetting the book in front of her. She looked around, everyone was engrossed in the classwork. Miss M(as she was fondly called) was also writing something on her desk. But Caroline's head screamed "go now! Now! Else you'll die! Die! Die!! Die!!!"

She pushed her chair back and stood up. Miss M looked up at her.
"Please, I need to go and use the bathroom" she said
"Okay. But make sure u come back in time"
"Yes ma'am"
Good thinking. She could not mention anything about what P.E teacher said. It would only get worse and he might actually do something very very bad like torture her before cutting her up.
Either way, her fate was the same, sadly.

Quietly she walked towards the field. She steeled herself for the worst. As she got to the borders she glanced around. The field was a large expanse and had many sporting courts. There was the basketball, handball, track &field, volleyball, tennis. There were also palms and huge trees hovering around the expanse. But She could see no one. She sighed and walked to the far end. He hadn't specified what area of the court she was to wait for him So she chose a wide tree and sat beneath it. It would take longer for him to find her but then at least she'll be able to buy more time for her life.

She waited, and waited, and waited. No one came. She heard the closing bells for the school far away in the distance and the noise of pupils moving out of classes clanging desks and banging doors. She closed her eyes.
Within few minutes, the noise faded and she was alone. She thought of leaving but she feared what might happen if she defied and left.

After what seemed like eternity, She heard the rustling of feet behind her. She held her breath. Her killer had come.

following

Carol has issues.