like seriously whats d big deal i don't get it,it doesnt concern me. if u like shake,if u like dnt.if u like ignore,if u like dnt. its ur business.its ur life. i dnt mind. i shake ppl cuz i feel more comfortable with it .Any way u seem appopriate to greet then greet....its
a free world.its not just with guys alone even ladies do it.

nahh a hug is better...cmon its just a hug whats d big deal...shaking a lady feels kinda akward

According to Islam, it is wrong to shake a lady, so I was told by scholars ***undecided**

I offer a handshake to both males and females. If female refuse to shake my hand for party, na bush mentality and immaturity dey worry am except she be hijab girl.

axion: It's better to hug women so that you will tap free current

One day person go break gulder bottle for ya head after hugging im babe for party. keep hugging, u go hear am very soon.

Emmyk: Some ladies dont like it.

I have seen situations whereby a guy stretched his hand, and lady be like "no, I dont shake, sorry".


Awkward moment aye! .

These ladies were in hijab...


So, as a sharp guy, you will be cagey not to stretch anyhow next time



buh me I'm cool with both, I shake 'em or hug 'em.

I once had the same issue too. I extended my hand to shake a lady who was not even putting on hijab. She declined my gesture without even saying a word. I felt shocked. Since then, I decided not to offer my hand to shake a lady unless she offers hers.

I read somewhere that if a guy meets a lady in a gathering as described by the OP, the lady should show willingness to accept a handshake or even be d 1st to stretch out her hands. The ideal thing is if a lady wants to accept handshake, she should make d 1st move. Mind u shake hands is dfrnt frm greetings. Come to think of it, if I stretch my hand and she does nt accept it will I blame her? NO! But it will be quite ungentlemanly 4me to reject the out stretch hand of a lady. So ladies who will accept handshake shld make d 1st move. I know tht some pple will frown at this but tht is d truth.

wynston: it's an african culture, it's not right to shake a woman

It is not wrong to shake a woman , But according to African culture women should bring their hands out first

To cut long story short, I just nod to the ones that nod and shake the ones that shake. No hard feelings.

Is cultural and something that most men doesn't know how to handle. When some men comes across ladys they are always in a dilemma whether to shake or hug, but what I do is sometimes I shake them and use my left hand to cover their palms or give dem a peck on their palm, it makes it more feminine.

In some cases I just wave to the lady

Let's be honest, its far easier to relate wt men dn wt women. Most Girls hv dis senseless psych in their heads dt anyman dt has anyform of physicl contct wt dem also wnts somtin else so we simply place dem where they belong by simply wavin n sayin hi

This is so true & very common. My gf got so irritated by it & now shakes & even does the shoulder stuff with ma hommies

I only make it a habit of greeting/shaking the men first if the gathering is made of my close friends, and come back to greet the ladies when I am through with the men. This is because we shake hands vigorously in my peer group and I know the ladies don't appreciate that. It is nothing personal.

nt with me! I do shake ladies

nt with me! I do shake ladies except muslim 6tas

inferior beings are again fighting for a right to equal handshakes when they are the same people who have for many occation turn down handshakes.
since i learnt my lesson trying to shake a girl, i havent try such again expecially since i know they will only behave as they usually do.

The reason I stopped shaking ladies a long time ago is that I read somewhere that it's not a gentlemanly etiquette to stretch ur hand to shake a lady first. U r supposed to wait for the lady to offer u a handshake. So it's kinda of rude to first offer a lady a hand shake. Unfortunately, how many Nigerian ladies know that?

Infact I just did it before seeing this topic.Personally I do shake guys then say hi to the ladies.To me I feel its normal.But in the church,i shake whoever is around me.Not forgettin my sweet coursemate,whenever we meet she just strectch her hands

iLUMeN8: For us fellas that grew up in the North, we have been taught not to have physical contact with females especially girls that are Muslims and hausa so as adults, its already in our psyche to avoid physical contact with girls and that is why most guys of Northern origin seldom offer girls a hand shake besides, its Islamically wrong for a female Muslim to have any form of physical contact with a man that is not her husband so most guys don't even bother

i love dis statement, dudes dat wia born or bred in d north, dnt shake hands wit, sinze most hausa, nd muslim gals dnt make physical contact with boys, so d guys get used to it, and even when they go outta d north region, they r hesitant, 2giv a hand, hug 2gurls, buh they can greet & giv a s/o 2d ladies,

It is the fault of some ladies. I was nearly disgraced one day when I was shaking my friends in a gathering, one of their girlfriend just refuse to pull out her hand when I got to her. As a sharp guy, i just pet her at the back to avoid disgrace. Since that time I dont shake ladies, i will just wave to them, only if she is close to me and I'm sure she will accept my hand.

Etete jake: inferior beings are again fighting for a right to equal handshakes when they are the same people who have for many occation turn down handshakes.
since i learnt my lesson trying to shake a girl, i havent try such again expecially since i know they will only behave as they usually do.

This one was obviously dropped on his cranium as a child. If the females in your family are inferior beings, let it end in your family abeg. Don't go out in public spewing crap from your ignorant a'ss.....or head, whichever you use to think.

Ok I'm curious now. I'm coming to Nigeria soon, and I am wondering what I should do in this situation. In America the handshake is for both male and female. Now I don't know what to do when I am there. I don't want to offend anyone. I guess I need a few pointers on cultural Tabu's.

texanomaly: Ok I'm curious now. I'm coming to Nigeria soon, and I am wondering what I should do in this situation. In America the handshake is for both male and female. Now I don't know what to do when I am there. I don't want to offend anyone. I guess I need a few pointers on cultural Tabu's.

As long as you're in a formal setting, feel free to offer your hand for a handshake or take one if it's offered. In an informal setting, though, it may be wiser to take rather than offer a handshake. If you're the "greeter", hugs allaround, lady! Nobody hates hugs, except the clinically insane For safety from venomous looks from the ladies and stalking from the men, you should probably do the 360 with the women only and side- or half-hugs with the men unless it's a gathering of only males or just you and some guy.

Ihedinobi:

As long as you're in a formal setting, feel free to offer your hand for a handshake or take one if it's offered. In an informal setting, though, it may be wiser to take rather than offer a handshake. If you're the "greeter", hugs allaround, lady! Nobody hates hugs, except the clinically insane For safety from venomous looks from the ladies and stalking from the men, you should probably do the 360 with the women only and side- or half-hugs with the men unless it's a gathering of only males or just you and some guy.

Gotcha. Thanks

3Dimension: IMO the way we nigerians 'shake hands' is not really polite or let me say right. U see a guy raising is palm far above is head because of a mere greeting.. U don't wanna do that to the lady.


The white man (whose culture we are imbibing) would greet a lady either with a hug, soft kiss to the back of her palm or a peck. All this above listed aren't 'our culture' and tramples on our ego has men expcept the hug which most women would rather deny u or prefer a side hug.

Sometimes I wonder if someone had told them that they can be impregnated with justa hug.

yes o, u wud love men kissing ur gf/wife's hand, kissing her softly on the cheek, hugging her tightly... I am happy, we hav pple like u in Nigeria

lagcity:

One day person go break gulder bottle for ya head after hugging im babe for party. keep hugging, u go hear am very soon.

That's why you should grab everything grabbable when you hug them so that it's worth whatever happens

Let men shake hands, women are already shaking bumbum

Don't take it too personal. Every1 has his/ her own way of doing things. Like me I hardly shake hands, I just greet and that's all[color=#006600][/color]

Hand shake is a show of strength and posture between men and i dont think a real man will want to get into that with a woman. Shaking a woman feels like handling an egg,the grip has to be totally reduced to the barest minimum.

It's cos some ladies like leaving guys' hands hanging. So in order for most guys to avoid d embarrassment, it's beta 4 them not to initiate d handshake @all. But if it's a lady u're quite close to then u're relatively safe to initiate d handshake. I also read somewhere sometime past dat etiquette demands a lady to b d initiator of an handshake wit a guy, but I don't rili knw ao true dat is.

Personally, I would rather wave and smile politely than shake hands whether with girls or guys- especially with guys. I'm kind of a germophobe... u never know where those hands have been.
When I meet both genders and handshakes have to be made, I go with ladies first, bcs I'm a lady.
In a corporate setting though, anyone will do.