I have seen similar threads on this topic before but never imagined it could happen in my marriage.
My wife and I have been married for about 10 years now and we have been blessed with both male and female children. For the first 7yrs of the marriage, I earned about 8x my wife's salary and everything was sweet and rosy. We were the envy of most families with houses and landed properties both in the village and the city where we live. But about 4yrs ago, my wife got a better job which made her salary slightly higher than mine. But more importantly, the new job gave her access to bulk money by way of loans, grants, etc and ever since, my family has never been the same again. My wife suddenly became unruly, she doesn't consult me on any issue concerning the family again. I have sat her down on countless occasions to know what the problem is but she refused to say what is responsible for her sudden change in attitude. Even when I seek her opinion on projects concerning the family, she shows indifference most times. I then resolved to continue to engage her and be as open as I can hoping that things would improve and indeed I really noticed some slight improvement. But when I was about to settle down and relax, I got the shocker of my life -my wife had built and completed a building without my knowledge! As if that was not shocking enough, I later found out that the man who has been fronting for her on the said project is the same Priest (Reverend Father) that joined us in holy matrimony!!!
I am really confused right now, having mood swings between laughing and angry at the same time. I just don't know how to handle this.

Send her outta your life immediately!

This Poster is close to what I mean....

normaljenny: My brother, I have seen lots of advices here some are good and some are not good. Kneeling down and begging for forgiveness is no big deal. I can do it too with like 20 mins crying added to it. My candid advice is:

1. Don't hate her and don't send her away.

2. Request for the documents as it should be in your possession.

3. If she refuses to give u the documents.

4. Stop sleeping in same room with her.

5. Change your phone number and keep her off ur contacts whatever. Facebook, twitter. Etc

6. Don't you ever, ever eat her food. because if she finds out through the advise of her friends,mother, or pastor that you are becoming a pain in the ass, then she can be compelled to act rashly and if u should die, she would get another hubby in a year, and as she is getting so ambitious now, she has the automatic ownership to all your stuffs.

7. Threat her like a stranger in the house.

8. Don't ever have family discussions with her.

9. Behave as if your life depends on it.

10. Let it stretch for like two to three months.

11. When she comes for begging,don't give in immediately.

12. There shall not be a third party in the reconciliation scene. It should just you and her.

13. Trying to knw if the pastor is screwing her is a past thing. Just keep the past off from it.

14. But meet the foolish pastor and tell him bluntly that if you ever see him 250 meters close to any member of your household, that you will "kill" him.

15. Get a court injuction on him calling your wife or getting close to your family.

16. Withdraw the matter from your family and her family meddling in to solve. Keep them out of it. And your friends too. Only you and your wife can save your marriage.

17. Tell her you want a divorce and see how she would react to it. If she is shocked at and scared at it, then know she wants her marriage to stay, but if she is not, then know that can be the last option (deutoronomy. 24:1-4).

18. As you start it, dedicate a week fasting & prayer to God, for the purpose of keeping the family imtact and ask God to reveal hidden things to you, as I to know if the pastor has voodoo on her, because I don't trust most of all these pastors with their wack powers.

19. Lastly, don't joke with your life. E no get duplicate.

smartchoice: Send her outta your life immediately!

I have thought about that but it doesn't seem a good option to me as I love my children so much. They love me too and are so fond of me.

No man deserves to be treated like that!
Outta your life send her immediately...but wait plot it well, don't confront her @ all...till you're ready to send her packing....BTW check your children's paternity...urgently I TRUST NO MAN OF GOD!..... Confirm and be sure they're your children n not the Father (no one is a reverend!)
Stop eating her food or drinks....POISON 101,

My brother, my advice is that you forgive her. Sounds silly but forgive her. From your story, you have alot to thank God for, a beautiful family, good health, properties all over and you have been a great husband. If your wife decides to betray you, it is not your fault but hers alone. As hard as it is, look around you and thank God. Sit her down and tell her you know she has built the house. Tell her how disappointed you are but let her know you have already forgiven her.

Life is too short. I know you are disappointed but please let it go. I can bet you she may have serious background issues or she is moving with the wrong friends. That is the only thing that can explain her behaviour. Her background is outta whack (broken or polygamous home) or her advisers are just plain stupid. But I will tell you to change churches fast. You cannot be confessing to that traitor of a priest amd please make sure nothing more than the ordinary is going on between the two. God bless you.

I have confronted her already and she went down on her kneels begging for forgiveness immediately. But then, trust once lost is difficult to gain back in a relationship. So even though I have forgiven her, I really don't trust her any longer because I now have this strong feeling that she has some unterior motives. I have also confronted the Priest too and he was speechless and in shock as to how I manage to find out.
As for the paternity issue, I have no doubt the children are mine as they are my carbon copies both the male and female ones. Besides, where I hail from, I would have been a dead man by now if I wasn't the biological father of my children. So, that's sorted.

Are they your biological children?!

2ndChance:
I have thought about that but it doesn't seem a good option to me as I love my children so much. They love me too and are so fond of me.

2ndChance: I have confronted her already and she went down on her kneels begging for forgiveness immediately. But then, trust once lost is difficult to gain back in a relationship. So even though I have forgiven her, I really don't trust her any longer because I now have this strong feeling that she has some unterior motives. I have also confronted the Priest too and he was speechless and in shock as to how I manage to find out.
As for the paternity issue, I have no doubt the children are mine as they are my carbon copies both the male and female ones. Besides, where I hail from, I would have been a dead man by now if I wasn't the biological father of my children. So, that's sorted.

So your wife is not that terrible, at least she was begging for forgiveness. If she has truly changed, you will know and the trust will come back. Bros, marriage can be tough and sometimes people make stupid mistakes like your wife just did. She just may have been given bad advice. But you dont throw away all those blessings because of that single mstake. We all sin against God and ask for forgiveness. You should also practice forgiveness but completely forgiving your wife. And if she were truly sorry, she would hand over the keys to the house to you.

@Nasville
You're very right. Her mother is her mentor and I later learnt after we got married that that was how she treated her husband when he was alive. She keeps a couple of bad friends which I have been able to put under check to some extent. And as for changing church, I did that sometime last year when my kids mentioned to me that their mother exchanged gifts with a certain Priest that was also very close to my family without my knowledge. That was the first major issue that shook my marriage to its foundation but somehow, God gave me the grace to handle that after I had banned the Priest from my home and changed Parish.

[i]Forgive [/i]her..... but start your own plans don't change your attitude 2wards her....but deep inside plan well...include that priest in your plans too cos am sure he's screwing your woman! Meanwhile nothing is sorted until a medical test proves paternity...as regards the children.

2ndChance: I have confronted her already and she went down on her kneels begging for forgiveness immediately. But then, trust once lost is difficult to gain back in a relationship. So even though I have forgiven her, I really don't trust her any longer because I now have this strong feeling that she has some unterior motives. I have also confronted the Priest too and he was speechless and in shock as to how I manage to find out.
As for the paternity issue, I have no doubt the children are mine as they are my carbon copies both the male and female ones. Besides, where I hail from, I would have been a dead man by now if I wasn't the biological father of my children. So, that's sorted.

smartchoice: Are they your biological children?!

Yes, they are all my biological children.

smartchoice: [i]Forgive [/i]her..... but start your own plans don't change your attitude 2wards her....but deep inside plan well...include that priest in your plans too cos am sure he's screwing your woman! Meanwhile nothing is sorted until a medical test proves paternity...as regards the children.

Sorry to say but I suspect the Priest is screwing my mother-in-law instead.

Please don't change church yet at least not you....there's need to keep a tab on the priest! Confessions can be done to him yes I mean CONFESSIONS.
Put the fear of life into his marrows....there's no man of God we all are men of God!

2ndChance:
Sorry to say but I suspect the Priest is screwing my mother-in-law instead.

Why do you suspect those two? I just believe her mother may be the one that encouraged her to do so, aided by the "priest".

Then you're finished...I mean seriously finished

2ndChance:
Sorry to say but I suspect the Priest is screwing my mother-in-law instead.

@Law-confessor
Thanks. I have been very prayerful ever since I noticed some strange affilliations between my in-laws and Priests generally and after taking a closer look, I could see some wordly tendencies among the Priests which made me to be extra-vigilant. If I hadn't been strong spiritually, I would not have been able to confront the erring ones among them.
Of course, I have informed my family who are bent on getting to the root of the whole matter. This is certainly far too much for me to handle alone.

2ndChance: @Law-confessor
Thanks. I have been very prayerful ever since I noticed some strange affilliations between my in-laws and Priests generally and after taking a closer look, I could see some wordly tendencies among the Priests which made me to be extra-vigilant. If I hadn't been strong spiritually, I would not have been able to confront the erring ones among them.
Of course, I have informed my family who are bent on getting to the root of the whole matter. This is certainly far too much for me to handle alone.

The world is changing, and with it the church of God. Priests are no longer as disciplined as they used to be. I've long apportioned the blame to ETTZ . . . But that's aside . . .

The main issue here is your wife and her obvious lack of respect and trust for you. There must be a reason for this . . .

First of all, in the past (while you earned 8x more than she did) how open were you with her . . . . how generous were you . . . how involved was she in the family's finances

She'a clearly acting out of vengeance and for her to get the support of a priest, her anger might be well founded.

I've seen situations where men build houses in their names alone only to get their wives thrown out for a fresher, perkier bosom

Your wife is making a plan B and that to me is a bigger problem for you than you obviously realize . . . what happens after she has completed her safety net? Does she still plan to remain in the marriage

Form another point of view, what are the priest's intentions This Priest, for all we know, might have a stake in the building. Is he using your wife to make money for himself all the while making her believe it's for her own good? Women can be gullible you know?

This is what you need to you . . .

First of all, report the Priest to the Church . . . write a petition against him. They may not pursue it now or make anything out of it, but your petition is already before God and Man.

Secondly, let your family know what is going on . . . your parents and your wife's parents. Your wife needs to realize she's marrying you and not the priest.

Lastly, if the deeds of the house is in her name alone (and this is unusual), she needs to change it to both your names. That building needs to be registered as part of the family's property and not hers alone . .

Of course if you know your hands are clean, it won"t be difficult for you to do all 3 . . .

@Ujujoan
I have been very open to her from the beginning till date to the extent that I plan every single penny that I earn with her. And in those days when I was earning more than her, she was very open too. But the moment she got an upgrade, everything changed. As I type now, I do not know how much she earns again. The last time I stumbled on her payslip was 2 yrs ago.
From my observation, the priest is only fleecing her and making money out of the whole project. Although I have not seen the documents, she told me they were prepared in her name contrary to the family tradition of Mr & Mrs in all our other properties.
She's not acting out any revenge, I think she's being influenced by bad friends. Most of her friends are women who are yet to have children in their marriages and are having running battles with their husbands. I have tried to dissuade her from listening to advices from such friends but all to no avail.

smartchoice: Then you're finished...I mean seriously finished

No, I think the Priest is finished rather cos my family has resolved to take the matter to his superiors. As for my mother-in-law, I wish her best of luck with other Priests and her other in-laws. As for me, God don open my eyes.

She is not your Wife again, She is our OUR WIFE. (You, Priest and the Church)

Na true sey dem ban Mr. Olodo till 2015 because in write Na me be Mr.Olodo carry full page.
In just dey send people email sey make we help am begg.


Abeg make una forgive our Mr.Olodo ooo

Wowwwww.... Exactly the same happened to my parents, but not the priest helped my mum, but her on mum, my daddy didn't find it funny at all ooo, Hmmm can't even say the story...

Pls forgive her, it is the work of the devil.

smartchoice: Send her outta your life immediately!

YOU THINK SO

may God see you through

@op Mitchewwwwww to you, you expect kids here that have not marry before, that have no experience whatsoever; to advise you matrimonially mitcccccchhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeewwwwww to you again.

best advice is to keep shut , dont say anything to her , and if you have dont repeat it.
let her have the feeling that she has won a great battle but be ready to send her away anytime .the best and most potent weapon against women is silence and indifference . use this against her .

Things like dis make me say, I will never get married

Since you are the head of the house and not the so called reverend father...
Tell her that if she still want to remain in your house and if she want to remain the mother of her children she should sell the house.

Don't bother about the amount she want to sell the house or the amount she sold the house.
Just make sure she sold the house... Lobatan

God will intervene in this matter cos it's complex

You've confronted her already and she went down on her kneels begging for forgiveness immediately
showing that she's remorseful.

It may be difficult but just forgive her .
Ending the marriage may not be the best option...

Be thankful the guy on the other end is a priest. At least you are sure he didnt do IT with your wifey.