Seriously wat pple can do for money, I'm definitely followin! Good write up, thumbs up!

incredible.kip it up

Oga Zuby can you please help me with the registration? I succeded in registering once but since then I 've been unable to login. My email is waxxykola@gmail.com . Thanks!

Chapter 17


There were different types of how
we lived in Amsterdam. It all
depended on how much money
you have.
Level 1: Those who rented three
bed room duplex. This type of
house has three rooms upstairs,
then Parlour, Kitchen and toilet
downstairs. It was just like the
typical duplex our so called big
men built back in Nigeria. The
Dutch government after
demolishing some of the
hexagonal grid houses, had
embarked on building these types
of duplex. Their major intention
was to attract the middle class
income earners down to Bijlmer
since the suburb was originally
occupied by poor people. The
duplex went from €1400 to €1600
depending on the area.
Level 2: This types of apartments
contained three rooms and
parlour but not duplexes. It was
just like the typical three bedroom
and parlour obtained in Nigeria. It
contained three rooms, a parlour,
kitchen and toilet all in the same
floor. These types went as from
€900 to €1200 monthly.
Level 3: These types were two bed
rooms and a parlour. A typical flat
apartment with toilet/s, a kitchen
and others.
Level 4: These groups of
apartments contained just a room
and a parlour. They were specially
designed by the dutch government
for single men and women who
were interested in living alone
comfortably.
Level 5: The typical one room self-
contain with toilet and kitchen,
specially made for students
everywhere in the World.
We had Nigerians in every level of
the houses in Amsterdam. There
were some big boys who pushed
large amount of drugs daily or
weekly or every two days
depending on how rich they were.
These group hardly allowed
anyone into their circle. They saw
newcomers as nuisance forgetting
that there was a time they were
also new comers. They also paid
up for small apartments
elsewhere, where they measured
and inspected drugs before
moving them. These group hated
the next group who lived in the
ordinary three bedroom flats.
They were almost in direct
competition. The second group
hated the first ones as well. The
two groups hated the third group,
the three groups hated the fourth
group which comprised of
newcomers and people with little
or no capital.
On Sundays, they would all go to
the same Church. On Saturday
Morning, you would see all of
them trying to play football in the
same field too.
On Saturday morning, if you
belonged to group one, you were
guaranteed to play whether you
knew how to play or not. If you
belonged to group two, you would
play as well. But the group three
and four would either play later or
watch the fat group one group
play. There also some group of
aspiring footballers who came to
Europe to play football but
somehow ended up not getting
resident permit on time. In
Europe, if you didn’t have the
documents, no club would look at
you unless you are extra
ordinarily good. The European
made some laws that restricted
the immigrants to second class
human beings. My fellow Africans
knew this but poverty and
embezzlement back he didn’t help
matters. Since i Belonged to the
last group, i never bothered to
play football. They won’t chose
me. They didn’t know me. I was a
nobody. I was just one of those
people who came to disturb the
big boys. The self-acclaimed big
boys would snub you with every
little opportunity they got. We
Blacks were hated by the
Surinames and Antilleans who
were also blacks. We Africans were
also hated by the whites who
owned the land. The worst of it all
was that we hated ourselves.
No matter what you were going
through, nobody would be willing
to give you any money to solve
your problems, rather they would
talk about how silly you were for
getting yourself into the mess in
the first place.
As i stood in the middle of the
field one Saturday morning, a
man called me.
He said he was looking for
someone to give one room in his
three bedroom flat. He asked me
to help him locate a good person.
I didn’t want to tell him that i
wanted a place, we just exchanged
phone numbers and went our
different ways.
Two days later, i called him. His
name was Chidi but i called him
Oga Chili. He lived in a house
called Kikkenstein; another of the
large hexagonal grid houses built
by the Dutch government.
Kikenstein had 1000 apartments in
a 10 storey building. There were
many Nigerians living in the
building.
When i called Oga Chidi two days
later, he asked me to come to
Kikenstein. Oga Chidi lived with a
woman he claimed to be his wife.
They had no children yet. He lived
there with Spanish resident permit
as was hundreds of other people.
”Let me show you the room” he
said.
I followed him to a neatly
decorated room with bed, electric
heater and a table. It was such a
nice hideout. He said that i would
be paying €300 monthly which was
a good deal. However, my little
concern was that i didn’t know
what he did. I needed a place
where drugs flowed in and out.
Another glitch was that his so
called wife was still very young.
She was in her early twenties. I
was never going to approach her
but what if she approached me? I
believed i was going to reject her
approach but sometimes things
didn’t work out the way we
wanted. I wanted to know why
Chidi approached me in the first
place. The way it worked in
Amsterdam, one can only
approach a person he knew very
well if he wanted t give out a
room. But Chidi had approached
me.
Since we paid monthly, i decided
to take the place. If things didn’t
work out after one month, i would
definitely move.
I paid him for the house and told
him that i would move in the next
day. He was happy. Oga Chidi was
from Enugu State too. He was
from Nkanu Area. According to
him, he had lived in Europe for 15
years, had gotten Spanish
documents three years earlier and
had decided to relocate to
Amsterdam to make money. When
i got home, i told Robin that i
would move the next day to a new
room but that i would be visiting
him whenever i wanted. We
brought out a bottle of Hennessy
and celebrated our scam. I had
sent Junior his €500 and gave
Robin his own. I had over €5000
remaining.
“Accept responsibility for your life.
Know that
it is you who will get you where
you want to
go, no one else.”

18: STAY CLOSE TO YOUR
ENEMIES
Chapter 18.
I met Dozie at the gym for the
first time in weeks.
I had gone to Western Union to
send €500 to Jennifer in Berlin. I
had initially told her that i won’t
be giving her money but the
occasion was different. Jennifer
had given birth to a boy.
According to her, She had Called
the boy ‘Azubuike’ after me. Her
boyfriend had objected initially but
had eventually came to terms with
the name. According to Jennifer,
she had never seen or met a
person who possessed the kind of
heart and mind i had. She said she
would like her baby boy to take
after me when he grew up. I didn’t
know what her plans were but i
was compelled to send them the
money as gift. It wasn’t easy for a
young lady of her age to give birth
to a healthy baby under her
current condition.
”Guy long time no see” Dozie had
said as soon as i came into the
gym. I knew the gym house at
Gazenhoef metro station very well.
That was where half of the
Nigerians in Amsterdam worked
out. If i were to stay close to
Dozie, i needed to start working
out in the gym as well.
”Yea, long time. I hope everything
is Ok with you”. I said with a
smile.
I gave him a picture of a well to
do young man. I knew that things
were getting more difficult in
Amsterdam. A lot of the
neighbouring European countries
had amended their border laws. It
had become difficult for black
birds to move around freely like
before. As a result, the price of
raw cocaine had dropped to €26
per gram.
Most of The retailers in the
neighbouring countries had
somehow decided to lay low. It
also meant that they seized most
of the money since an average
Nigerian usually loved to make
decisions when he has money in
his hand.
”I want to register here, just give
me a minute, i am coming” i said
to Dozie.
I walked up to the counter and
registered. Registration was €20
but the monthly payments was
€50. After registration, i waited up
for Dozie to finish.
On our way home, he asked what
was happening with me. I told
him that everything was going
well.
”I move stuffs to England now,
they pay better in Liverpool than
other neighbouring cities” i had
said.
He said that the Dublin people
owed him a huge amount of
money and that he would like to
put something for me when he got
some money from them.
”How can i say no, you are my
boss here remember” i said. We
smiled over that and went our
separate ways.
Oga Chidi gave me a set of keys. It
meant that i always entered the
apartment whenever i wanted. He
and his girl Ify liked me a lot. I
wasn’t a noise maker. I would stay
indoors with my laptop and
browsed until there was
something to do outside.
On that afternoon back from first
day at gym, i had opened the door
and Saw Ify out of the bathroom.
She had just finished her bath and
had tied a towel above her chest
to cover her boobs. The towel did
not cover her soft and well
maintained yellow thighs. Her
buttocks was almost naked too. I
took a quick glance and threw my
face away.
”Why are you looking away As if
you have never seen a naked
woman” she said.
I had no direct answer to that
question, therefore i just smiled
and kept quiet.
Oga Chidi had gone to Switzerland
to recover his money. He left the
day before and had surprisingly,
asked me to take care of Ify. He
didn’t call her ”my wife” as one
would have expected. He just said
”Take care of Ify, i will be back
before one week”
As soon as i entered the room, Ify
knocked and pushed the door
open at once. She was still tying
that short towel around her body.
This time, She was carrying a plate
of Breadfruit porridge.
”I bought this Ukwa at Krainest
shopping mall this morning and
prepared it. Since you are the oga
in the house now, here is your
own” she said.
Rejecting the food would bring
about some kind of argument
which would in turn, prolong her
stay in my room. The mere
looking at her thighs had started
getting my mind excited.
”Keep it for me on top of the
table” i said.
”Won’t you say Thanks first” she
said.
Apparently she was looking for a
way to prolong her stay in the
room.
”Oh sorry dear, thanks” i said.
She kept the food on the table and
turned to go.
”Chidi said i could come and learn
computer with you when you are
free. I told him that i want to
Learn it” she said.
I didn’t know the best answer to
give her, therefore i kept quiet. If i
agreed out of the desire to see
her leave the room, it could be
counter productive since i didn’t
want her near me. I had known
that a day like this would come.
But what was Chidi thinking before
approaching me for a house?
It wasn’t such a good idea to leave
a cat and a rat in the same room.
But Chidi had done that. Or maybe
he had a plan all along. I may
have been the fool altogether.
”Hmm, you know i don’t have
time. I will give you the laptop to
study on your own, i want to read
those books” i said as i pointed to
three John Grisham novels i had
bought the previous day.
”You know i don’t know anything
about computer. You will show
me. I am coming” she said as she
opened the door and stepped out.
That was it. I was leaving the
house even before the expiration
of my rent. I knew how such
things worked. If we got close
enough, we would kiss one day,
then touch and before you know
it, we would be naked on the
same bed. And once we did it, it
would continue until Chidi finds
out one day.
I was still planning on when and
how to leave when my door
opened again without a knock.
”I am ready now” Ify announced
as she threw herself on my bed
and opened up the laptop. She
was wearing a short skirt with a
transparent blouse that showed
her bra.
”I am waiting oh” she said, since i
didn’t want to say anything.
The next thing i knew was a hand
around my neck. She pulled me
down slowly until i lay on the bed
with my back.
”Ify wait first, i want to……” i was
saying as her lips lowered and
covered mine. She kissed away. I
didn’t respond initially but when i
recalled that i haven’t touched a
woman in months, i opened up
my mouth.
“Challenges are what make life
interesting and
overcoming them is what makes
life
meaningful.”

19: PEOPLE OF AMSTERDAM
Chapter 19.
”Tell me, when did you and Chidi
get married”? i asked after the
first round of Kisses. She said
nothing. She just lowered her lips
again and started kissing away.
Right there under Ify, i
remembered the Biblical story of
Joseph and Potipher’s wife. The
story had it that Potipher’s wife
wanted to sleep with Joseph but
Joseph refused. She had gone to
Potipher and claimed that Joseph
wanted to sleep with her by force.
As a result, Potipher had thrown
Joseph in the prison.
Was i going to be thrown to prison
if i pushed Ify out? The obvious
answer was ‘No’. The only thing
that could happen was to be asked
to leave the house if Chidi found
out. But the way i saw things then,
Ify was unto something. She had
always been looking at me
strangely and invitingly. It was her
golden chance to see Chidi
traveled out of the country.
I had asked her when they got
married because i expected her to
give me a date, which will make
me push her away with pretence
that i can’t touch somebody’s wife,
but her response shocked me.
They were not Married. She had
come from Paris and met Chidi
while looking for a house. Chidi
had given her one room but since
rat and cat can’t share the same
room, they had started being
intimate. Unfortunately, she said
that Child’s Manhood hardly got
up and that when it does, it would
fall again in a minute. It was a
pathetic story but i didn’t know
what to say.
Her hands were already on my
manhood and the entire sense of
reasoning inside of me had left
through the window. I was going
to do it. It almost felt like doing
her a favour because, She couldn’t
just go outside and bring in a man
into the apartment. She also
couldn’t go and sleep outside.
The whole piece had started to
come together. Chidi had planned
that all along. She had
intentionally brought me to the
house to satisfy the girl or
probably get her pregnant, which i
believed they wanted.
I had decided to watch how things
unfold. One thing i was sure was
that Chidi as an Igbo man, knew
that i would definitely sleep with
Ify in his absence. He knew that
Ify would trick me into sleeping
with her and that i would not be
able to resist that body. Little
wonder why he had given her go
ahead to study computer in my
room as if i was Microsoft or IBM.
My entire cloths had been
stripped off my body without my
approval. She was going to rape
Ozoigbondu. Maybe i should shout
and attract people to come and
help me or peharps go to the
Police later on or even forgive her
later.
Yea, that was it, i would forgive
her later but at that moment, not
even an Earthquake would stop
me.
My entire system had responded
to her touches and even when i
remembered that i had no
condom, i made no attempt at
stopping her.
Her mouth had gone down to my
private part and was squeezing it,
my two hands had found two soft
oranges on her chest and was
doing justice to it too. My phone
had rang but i made no attempt
to reach it. I didn’t care if it was
Escobar himself calling me from
Colombia. Over forty minutes
after we started, we lay beside
each other on the bed panting.
She was a sweet lady who knew
how to bring out the best in a
man.
”You understand you virtually
forced me to do this” i said. She
smiled and stroked my nose as if
we were lovers.
”No, you forced me to do this. I
have been wanting to do this for
long but had no opportunity” she
said.
We were still on the bed when
Chidi called her from Zurich. He
said he won’t be coming back in a
week since he wanted to go to
Madrid to check whether his
documents were still working.
It turned out to be that all those
with Spanish papers needed to
find someone to work with those
papers. If after five years, the
authorities discovered that the
paper they gave you didn’t work
and pay tax, they would kill the
paper and refuse to renew it. It
would simply mean that you no
longer possessed any legal
documents. Therefore, the
resident permit holders in Spain
needed to always make sure that
their papers were paying taxes by
registering for a work.
Ironically, it also meant that i
could get stuck with Ify for a
month or even more. She would
probably get pregnant by then
since she had encouraged me to
release inside her. It seemed she
obviously wanted a child. Maybe
she didn’t want to go the way of
majority of the Nigerian ladies in
Amsterdam.
Most of the Nigerian ladies i knew
in Amsterdam were getting old
without being married. Some were
already in their 50s while some
were heading to late 40s. These
were women who came to Europe
to look for money through
prostitution. However, by the time
they realised they were getting
old, they would change country
and start acting ‘good wife
material’ crap. They were
scattered all over Amsterdam,
selling foods inside their
apartments. Some even had
children out of Marriage. I knew
quite a few of them who still sold
their bodies to be able to pay
house rent. It was hell for them
and sometimes i wondered why
they chose to remain there. I
would have preferred that they
traveled back home to look for
husbands but each and everyone
one of them had her own excuses
why she can’t go home. The
Nigerian men in Amsterdam were
also people who left one country
or the other to settle in
Amsterdam. The last thing on
their minds was marriage. Since
most didn’t have Holland resident
permit, marrying a black woman
there was a silly burden. The issue
was that the Dutch authorities
could invade anybody anytime and
sent you back to wherever you
came from. As a result, men were
cautious to tie themselves down
with such serious things as
Marriage.
As a woman, if you give birth to a
child in Holland without being a
legal immigrant, your child would
get no benefit from the
government. You would be on
your own. As a result, our women
were just wasting their lives over
there and due to what people
would say if they returned home,
they had decided to stick around
in Amsterdam and bid their time.
It was left for me to find out what
Ify and Chidi had planned.
” Its hard to wait around for
something you know might never
happen; but its harder to
give up when you know its
everything you want.”

20: NO FORGIVNESS IN HELL
Chapter 20.
”Do you know anybody who have
Chile brown” i asked Dozie on the
phone.
Chile brown was a strong
brownish Cocaine. It usually came
on powdered form. It was one of
the best raw cocaine in the
market. Chile brown when mixed
with the white Ntugwa, turned
into milky colour which was
exactly what the United Kingdom
market demanded.
”One of my guys said he received
one bag yesterday” Dozie said.
One Kilogram was referred to as
one bag by Nigerians.
I asked how much it was sold. It
was true that the price had
dropped from €30 to €26 but the
Chile stuff still sold for €30. It was
scarce unlike the ones that arrived
from Brazil and Colombia.
The major reason behind the
scarcity was that the population of
black people in Chile was very
small unlike Brazil and Colombia.
A historical research i carried out
revealed that Chile and Argentina
were the two South American
Countries that hated blacks.
History also had it that at a time
in the past, the whites in those
countries murdered all the blacks
there. In the present time, the fact
remained that in Politics, no black
man contested for any post in
those two countries. It was also
obvious in sports, where no black
man could be seen playing for
Argentina and Chile football
national teams. Although it
seemed that those unwritten rules
were being relaxed, but still it was
such a good thing to know
important details of whatever
country you wanted to visit.
Dozie said that the price was €30.
I expected that.
”I will need 150grams” i said.
He told me to come to his house
in an hour so that he would have
enough time to go and bring it. I
agreed.
An hour later, i was cooking the
stuff in his house to determine its
quality.
”Where are you sending it” Dozie
asked me.
”Eliza” i replied.
Eliza was the name given to the
entire United Kingdom, it was a
code name derived from Queen
Elizabeth. Other counties had their
own code names as well.
USA was Bush (George Bush).
Ego Bush meant Dollar.
France was Chirac.
Brazil was Pele.
Holland was Alanso, holy land.
Germany was Hitler.
Italy was known as Pope.
Cocaine was Ahia Ocha or Alhaji
White.
Heroine was Ahia Ojii or black.
Every other drugs had code
names.
Every Nigerian knew the codes
since it was the operational
names. You dare not mention
cocaine or dollars or any other
incriminating name on the phone.
You just use the codes.
After checking the Chile brown in
Dozie’s house, i paid him. He
asked me when i would be sending
the stuff to Eliza and when i told
him it was the next day, he said he
would prepare 100 grams and add
for me.
100 grams wasn’t much. I believed
he wanted to try me. As a result, i
agreed. I would definitely know
what to do.
When i got home, i made calls and
searched for people who wanted
cocaine. Fortunately, Basil, one of
the big buyers wanted some
goods. I went and sold the Chile
white to him. He gave me the
exact amount i bought it. I only
lost the €5 transportation fares.
I called Dozie in evening and asked
if he was
Ready. He was. I drove to his
place and picked up the 100. I had
warned him not to mix anything in
it. His cost price was €3000.
However, after three days, i went
and returned €4500 to him. I told
him that my contact had returned
the money from Liverpool. He was
very happy and excited. He
thought that the way to Make
money had just opened up. He
gave me €200 as gift and asked
when next i would be sending
something to my contact.
”I don’t know, i will let you know
when he is ready” i said and left
him.
Dozie was mathematically with my
€1300. I was going to get it back. I
had just set a trap with the money
for him. Nobody knew what i had
done. Amsterdam was full of
tricks. The bad guys were making
money locally. It was all a matter
of witts. Whatever plan that
worked for you was fine, as long
as you made money in the end.
One also had to be very careful.
There were some amount of drugs
that could instigate the owner to
hire the gunmen for you. I had
decided to scam Dozie quite
alright but it wasn’t going to be
more than €6000 or €7000.
People hardly wanted you dead for
that kind of money. I had woken
up one day and decided to
increase my total money to atleast
€10,000, that was the major
reason behind the business with
Dozie.
I waited for one week before
calling Dozie.
”Guy, i am moving things to
Liverpool tomorrow” i said.
I had met Dozie in the gym that
morning but didn’t tell him
anything. I wanted to make things
look like i had just gotten the
green light from my contact in
Liverpool.
One of my strongest blessings was
the ability to retain information
off hand. I knew all the country
codes in Europe and Africa. I also
knew majority of the country
codes in the World. I had
somehow managed to locate the
British Yellow page on the
internet. I had browsed in it until i
located phone numbers belonging
to people with Nigerian names.
There were mostly Yoruba names.
I was also very good at names. I
knew the origin of every European
and Nigerian names.
I would have made a good police
detective.
I Had found one Adewale who
lived in Liverpool. His name and
home address were listed on the
yellow page of 2005. I had tried
the number and it wasn’t
connecting. I had tried some
other numbers but they all
connected, it meant that those
people still lived in those
addresses and still used that line.
But the Adewale’s number wasn’t
connecting. Either that he had
moved and abandoned the phone
line or that the advent of Mobile
phones had instigated him to
abandon the land line. Adewale
was my escape route.
Te next day, Dozie prepared 250
grams of the stuff. It stood at
€7500. It was more than i wanted
but it was fine. If i subtracted my
€1300, the money would come
down to the very amount i wanted
to take from him.
He had tormented me and pushed
me out of his house without
teaching me anything. It was time
to pay for that behaviour.
The foolish man from Enugu
would continue to teach them
how to be nice, only that i used
widely unacceptable methods.
“One of the most important keys
to Success is having the discipline
to do what you know you should
do, even when you dont feel like
doing
it.”

21: IFY, MY EMERGENCY
WIFE
Chapter 21.
”Do you know his name” Dozie
had asked.
He was asking of Mr Segun
Adewale who had mysteriously
disappeared with our drugs.
According to the discussion, my
own stuff was 300 grams while
Dozie had contributed 250 grams.
The venue was Dozie’s house. It
was necessary that i went to his
house to deliver the news
properly. I had already called him
on the phone and told him that
our contact had stopped
responding. I had waited for three
days before breaking the news.
Robin and his friend had followed
me to Dozie’s house. I took them
along due to the fact that Dozie
could decide to get violent. I never
trusted him.
”Yes, i know his name. My cousin
who lived in London told me his
name” i said.
”I thought you said it was
Liverpool” Dozie suddenly asked.
Smart guy. I Expected him to grab
that little lose line. A sinking man
always grabbed everything in his
way.
”Yes, my cousin IK worked in
Liverpool before relocating to
London, he was the person who
gave me Segun’s contact” i said.
I wrote ‘Adewale Olusegun’ on a
paper and handed it to Dozie. He
demanded for the phone number
and i gave it to him too. He said
he would send it to a lawyer to
find out if the man was captured
by the Police.
Who cared, one thing with drug
business was that as soon as
someone began to tell you
negative stories, the whole thing
escalated from there and it usually
ended to nothing. I had sold the
drugs at €29/gram and realised
€7250. Robin’s friend didn’t know
that it was a scam, therefore he
got nothing. Robin knew what i did
but also refused to accept
anything from me. He had called
me into his room and advice me
to stop that line of local scam,
according to him, someone would
find out one day and that would
alienate me in the entire Bijlmer.
He was right. I was done with the
local Scam. One thing Robin didn’t
know was that it was for revenge.
I never ever thought about hurting
anybody who didn’t hurt me. I
hardly thought about people who
were not involved with me one
way or the other.
When i got home from Robin’s
place, i called Jennifer in Berlin
and asked how she was doing with
the baby. They were fine according
to her. I had also been in constant
communication with Efuah, my ex
girlfriend who lived in London.
Princess had started grade school
and was brilliant. We would chat
through yahoo messenger for
hours. She had given birth to
another boy and girl. She sent me
their pictures too.
She was also surprised that i
wasn’t married yet. She had
constantly advised me to forget
about money and get married. I
had joked that since she left my
life, i wasn’t interested in
marrying any other woman. She
believed i was serious, or maybe i
was. Life was such a complicated
road with lots of signs.
Ify knew nothing about computer.
I didn’t know where to start
teaching her. It took her five days
to learn how to shut a windows
laptop down. She had given up. All
she did was ride me every now
and then. I was afraid she would
get pregnant, which could result
in a Tussle between me and Chidi.
I wasn’t going to leave any of my
issues to anybody again. Ify was
about 24. I myself was heading to
27. I could marry her, though i
had always wanted to marry
someone who was atleast 7 years
younger. But things usually didn’t
work out the way we planned it.
”What if you get pregnant” i had
asked Ify one day after being
intimate.
She said she would carry the
pregnancy and give birth to the
baby/s. I had asked her who
would own the baby/s between
me and Chidi. She had tactically
given me a vague answer.
”Lets wait until then” she had said.
People had started seeing us
together around Bijlmer. Since the
gossip in the area was huge, i
would hire a snoda and drive with
Ify to Utrecht or Almere. Utrecht
was 30 minutes away while Almere
was 10 minutes away. She would
buy ice creams and tried to feed
me like lovers. I had tried to Make
her understand that i was never
created to live that way.
We were already in the Summer. I
had become lazy and stopped
dealing on drugs for some weeks.
I was busy spending the money i
got from Dozie. I was careful not
to make big expenses. I was also
not interested in sending drugs to
anybody outside Holland. If any of
them out there wanted to deal on
drugs, he should raise money and
sent to me.
Chidi had somehow married Ify
for me. I had become an
emergency husband. She had
stopped sleeping anywhere else
except my room. She would wash
my cloths and do all the house
works. However, she knew that i
wasn’t ready to settle down.
During one of our numerous
escapades, she said that she
would leave Chidi and follow me if
i found a place of my own. She
wasn’t really into Chidi. Europe
had confused her. She never saw
me dealing on drugs and she
wondered how i made my money.
Unknown to her, i had mapped
out €1500 for her expenses. I
would give her €10 or €5
whenever she demanded for it. I
would also buy foodstuff since
Chidi had decided to abandon her
in Amsterdam. Europe wasn’t a
place for enjoyment, it was a war
front. Anybody could find himself
anywhere anytime. It was just as
easy as that. The system wasn’t
conducive for us. The laws were
made to enslave us mentally. It
was only through crime that most
Nigerians made their living. The
minimum wage for unskilled
labour was very small. It couldn’t
even pay for house rent, health
insurance, utility bills and
remained for food. Therefore
every body embraced drugs, even
those who claimed to be born
again Christians. I just wondered
how those people managed to be
at peace with themselves.
I had found a newspaper in
Amsterdam that featured African
articles. I sent them a mail asking
them if they would be featuring
articles on comedies. After reading
my samples, they agreed.
However, they said i won’t get
paid for the first two months. I
didn’t care. It wasn’t for the
money. I just needed an avenue to
express the lives of Black men in
Amsterdam through Jokes and
comedy. It was such a good
avenue. Life as a writer started
from there.

22: THE USELESS EMBASSIES
Chapter 22.
Life went on as usual. There was
really nothing productive being
done by the blacks to help the
society we lived. It wasn’t our
fault since the system alienated
us. Since i had taken to writing
articles in the newspaper, i
started walking around Bijlmer to
interview people. I would ask
questions which half of the people
were afraid to answer. Some
thought that i was working for the
Dutch authorities while some
knew that i was working on
liberating the mindsets of our
people. We were being subdued
on daily basis. We were relegated
to the lowest level of humanity.
The Dutch authorities had no
respect whatsoever for the
Africans. The police would burst
our parties and arrest people,
sent them to deportation camps
and deported them without
anybody protesting. Everybody
was scared.
The Police would go to Churches
and disrupt the services, arrest
worshipers and send them to
prison; nobody would say
anything. The only place we
protested was among ourselves.
We would gather in beer parlours
and condemn the acts but it
usually ended there.
There was one incident that
happened at a Church belonging
to a Ghanaian man. The police
had bursted into the Church and
arrested people. The Church was
located at a place called Verein
Stuartveg. An African
photographer known as Alhaji, was
at the vicinity the very day they
came to the Ghanaian’s Church.
Alhaji had taken some pictures of
the incident. The Dutch police had
arrested him and seized his
camera. They had also beaten
Alhaji mercilessly for taking the
pictures.
I had met with Alhaji at a hair
saloon that belonged to an Igbo
man.
Alhaji was a Ghanaian with Dutch
resident permit, therefore i told
Alhaji to get a lawyer and take up
the case. Some other Nigerians at
the saloon had told him never to
try that. They were already
defeated. That was how we lived
in a society that didn’t know how
we felt. We were the major
problems against ourselves. Those
who had legal documents believed
that a God somewhere had
blessed them and as a result, they
should not even attempt to
associate themselves with the
troubles of those without
documents. They never believed
that injustice anywhere was
injustice everywhere.
Despite Eastern Germany being
known as racist area, Netherlands
were the worst. I never witnessed
such discrimination in all the
years i spent in Germany. Of
course discrimination existed in
Germany but the authorities were
very hard on it. The Bundes
Government would punish any
individual who racially
discriminated against coloured
people. But in Netherlands, it was
the individuals that associated
with the coloured people more.
The government were the ones
discriminating against the
coloured. In many occasions,
people had fallen from high
buildings. It was rumoured that
the special trained police pushed
black people off the buildings
sometimes.
In Bijlmer alone, i have seen and
known numerous black men with
clutches and broken legs and
arms. When asked them what
happened, they would tell you
They were pushed down from a
high building by some men who
covered their faces. The
commando police squad usually
covered their faces like terrorists.
They never wanted anybody to
recognize them.
I recalled one incident that
happened in the very building
where i lived. The building was
called Kikkenstein.
On Wednesday 13 May 2009, A
team of commando police raided
the building. I lived on the 6th
floor of the building. We woke up
that morning to see a corpse
behind the building. It was
covered with white cloth. The cops
had invaded an apartment at the
9th floor. No one could tell what
happened. All we were told was
that four people had jumped out
of the apartment and one had
died instantly. The rest were
rushed to the hospital. News had
filtered in that one of them died
even before getting to the
hospital. The government had
sent black police men from
Suriname to manage the crisis
since they feared that the black
community could revolt against
white policemen who had
apparently commited the invasion.
Their excuse was that they heard
that people were dealing on drugs
inside the apartment.
I on my own side, knew that
Nigerians were never silly enough
to jump down from the 9th floor
of a high rise building. It was
unheard of. Nigerians loved life
and would prefer prison rather
than death. It was only the Arabs
who could attempt such things.
The Question was , how could four
young men jump down from a 9th
floor? The answer was that it
wasn’t possible.
Every single Nigerian i interviewed
said that they would never even
jump from a second floor let
alone the 9th.
But who would talk for us? The
people involved in the jumping
were all from the same state. One
was from Oraifite while the rest
where from Nnewi, all from
Anambra state. They were my
brothers who left Nigeria to look
for good life and money
elsewhere.
I had instantly called for a protest
walk to the police station at the
Gazenhoef but people had asked
me not to show myself too much
or they would target me later.
That was how we lived in a society
that never wanted or liked us.
Back then in Nigeria, Shell oil
company happened to be the
largest. They declared billions of
dollars in profits every year. They
never cared about the people who
owned the lands where the oil was
being produced. All they cared
about was to bribe our
government officials who never
cared about its citizens back home
let alone those in foreign
countries. Sometimes, i just boiled
inside but there was nothing i
could do. I remember going to
Den Hague to complain some
issues to the ambassador. The
useless ambassador had advised
me to stay out of their way and
asked me to leave the embassy.
There was nothing i could do
except write my jokes. I
exaggerated the everyday lives of
our people through jokes but they
never read the real meanings.
They only read the jokes about
what the tortoise said and laughed
over it. I wondered when tortoise
began to talk. That was our life in
Amsterdam. That was how we
lived. It was a pity.
” I’ve learned that people will
forget what you said, people
will forget what you did, but
people will never forget how
you made them feel.”

Oga Zuby, keep writing sir, we'll keep following.
I'm so enlightened tonight by these posts.

Following

Chapter 23.
It was true that things were
difficult back in Nigeria. The
government was headed by
criminals who should have been
locked up in prisons. Every
government agency was crippled
with corruption. The problem lied
with the central government which
was stronger than the regional
governments. In a country like
Nigeria where we had many ethnic
groups, the central government
was supposed to be weak. Each
region should have been managing
themselves since they spoke
almost the Same language, eat the
same thing and used the same
routes to travel. There was no way
they could not be inspired to
develop their region. But instead,
the entire resources were being
controlled in Abuja which
incidentally contributed nothing to
the economy of the country. There
was no way people wouldnt be
agitated and angry. As a result, a
region who felt cheated had taken
up arms, blowing pipelines and
kidnapping foreign workers.
Things will always be that way
until we discard the foreign style
of government and discover what
will work for us.
This system of government was
the same problem in Spain where
the Catalunya region had been
agitating for secession.
In contrast, the government was
the reason why our people
suffered those fates in foreign
lands. If our system was good,
half of the people living in foreign
countries would definitely prefer
to stay back in their various
villages. They would not even like
the hassles and noises of places
like Lagos. I would definitely be
one of them.
The Nigerian embassy in the
Netherlands never came to
Bijlmer to know how its people
were faring. The embassy was
located in Den Hague. I had once
sent them a letter to rent a small
office in Bijlmer where people
could be coming to tell them what
was happening in their lives, a
letter they never replied or
implemented. Apparently the
suggestion came from a nobody.
The truth was that 95% of
Nigerians in Holland lived in
Amsterdam. 93% lived in Bijlmer
alone. If our diplomats had
brains, there was no way they
should have waited for someone
to remind them that they needed
an office in Bijlmer. They didn’t
care about us even in foreign
lands. They only cared about
themselves up there in the coastal
city of the Hague where a massive
international diplomatic prison
was built. They were supposed to
be thrown into those prisons until
they learnt what governance was
all about.
On the other hand, we were the
architects of our own problems.
Majority of the Nigerians in
Bijlmer needed serious
orientations of ethics and how to
obey the laws of the land. Some
of them would enter the trains
without buying tickets.
The system made it that one could
purchase hourly, daily, weekly or
monthly tickets. It would enable
them to move around freely. But
instead, some silly ones among us
would risk entering the trains
without tickets. The transport
authorities usually came on board
the trains to check for tickets. It
was not a daily thing, it happened
whenever they felt like. They never
announced the days
They would show up, they didn’t
have uniforms or badges. They
would just show up inside the
trains and start to check for the
tickets. If they catch you without
ticket, they would ask for your
documents. That was where the
problems of Nigerians lied. Since
most didn’t have legal documents ,
they would just throw their hands
in the air in resignation. The
controllers would call the police
who were readily available in every
corner. The police would take you
away and lock you up or deported
you after finger printing you to
determine if you were
documented in any neighbouring
country. That was also the fate of
our people but that was a fate we
could easily avoid.
Arguments and Drinks: This was
another area where we lacked a
lot. Two Nigerians would be
arguing over Chelsea and
Manchester United as if it was
their private business. You would
never hear white people shouting
over such things, they would just
calmly made their points. But
when it comes to Nigerians, they
would argue until a fight ensured,
then the police gets involved and
started demanding for documents.
Alcohol was the next. Drinks were
cheap all over Europe. Nigerians
were also readily available to buy
you any amount of drinks you
wanted, provided you didn’t ask
him to give you the money in
cash. After drinking to stupor, they
would commit one thing or the
other such as beating traffics or
urinating along the roads. The
police gets involved as usual and
start demanding for documents.
That was us in Amsterdam.
The major cause of those
misbehavior was because we all
lived in one place. Back in
Germany, the government
integrated us into the society by
mixing us up with the local
communities. It was the same in
Portugal too. Maybe that was how
the Dutch authorities planned
their own way of keeping a check
on us.
At a time, i stopped going out. I
would stay at home and write. I
would study through Google and
read novels. I wanted to improve
my English but going to school
was out of question. My laptop
and Google search were my
teachers and my school.
Apparently they taught me well
only that they didn’t issue me a
certificate at the end. I liked
history a lot. It was my best. Back
in secondary school, i did Science
courses but it wasn’t something
one could study without physical
schools and practicals, that was
my reason for choosing to read a
lot of histories online. If i knew i
was going to be writing this
someday, i would have
concentrated on English and
Literature. But i am still grateful
that i was able to write what other
human beings could read and
comprehend, even without much
spelling errors. That was my life in
Amsterdam. I had decided to shut
hustling for money out and did
another thing. Money was such a
wonderful item, but i tell you this,
it was never the most important
thing. The most important thing
was to discover yourself and when
that happened, money will
naturally come. Stay away from
drugs, that would be my message.
The cocaine deals would be next.
Brace yourself.
” Whether you think you can
or you think you can’t, you’re
right”

24: WHERE IS CHIDI?
Chapter 24. Where is Chidi?
In life, we were all victims of
circumstances. We possessed the
powers, strength and wisdom to
control some circumstances but
some were out of control for us.
The above natural phenomen
described what happened when
the news filtered in from Spain
that Chidi was arrested in Madrid.
Chidi left an apartment and Ify
behind. Ify, like many other
African women in Amsterdam, had
no work to pay the house rent.
Since i rented only a room in the
apartment, it would have been
very easy for me to leave but
leaving Ify behind wasn’t such a
good thing to do. The girl was
clever enough to swoop for me,
peharps she knew that Something
could happen to Chidi. There were
always troubles lurking around for
all drug dealers.
One thing about drug dealing was
that news of misfortunes traveled
fast.
It was on a Sunday morning, Ify
had gone to a Church in Verein
Stuartveg. The Church belonged to
an Iranian man.
The call had filtered in from a
friend of mine whom i had asked
to monitor what Chidi was doing
in Madrid.
At a stage in my stay at Chidi’s
place, i had started getting
worried. Chidi had initially told us
that he was going to Switzerland
to get his money from his retailer,
then he had changed his story.
Many weeks had passed without
seeing him. I was forced to pay
for the entire apartment.
Ify had swooped on me as soon as
Chidi left. The whole piece had
started to come together.
If they were genuinely in a
relationship, Ify must have waited
for a few days before making
advances towards me but she hit
it away as soon as Chidi left.
I hated entrapments and
surprises. It crossed my mind
once to quietly vacate the
apartment but what would be the
fate of the Ify?
She would definitely run straight
to another guy since she wouldn’t
be able to maintain the house
alone. Guys were readily available
to welcome her and would mess
her life up and throw her away in
time. As a result, i decided to stick
around and watch the way things
go.
That was the circumstances i
found myself in, it was a
circumstances i could manage.
”Chidi’s number is not going since
day before yesterday” Ify said one
evening while eating in the sitting
room.
”Really?, maybe he traveled” i said
casually.
”Do you know any of his friends,
maybe you should call and ask
where he has gone” i continued.
She didn’t know who to call. That
was the fate of some of our ladies
in Amsterdam, even the married
ones. Bijlmer was never a place to
live with your wife and raise kids.
The chances were, that you would
someday, get involved with drugs
and as long as you deal on drugs,
it was only a matter of time
before one trouble or the other
knocked on your door.
I knew that Ify had no plan B on
what to do if Chidi didn’t show up.
Most women were like that.
Since she came up with the news
by herself, i decided to explore a
little more.
”What are you going to do if he
didn’t return here” i suddenly
asked.
She didn’t know what to do as i
expected.
”I don’t know” she said.
”Alright, we will wait and see what
happens in the next few days, just
stay calm down and don’t talk to
anybody about it” i said.
A day after Ify broke the news
about Chidi, i took her to
Rotherdam. I had sensed that she
was nervous. She needed a break.
I believed she was afraid of what
would happen to her if she had to
vacate the apartment.
We got to Rotherdam and walked
down from the train station to the
city center.
Rotherdam was a nice city, the
second largest in Holland. It was
known mostly for its waters which
hosted the Europort, the largest
seaport in Europe.
There was a small park about half
a kilometer from the train station,
we walked to the place and sat
down. The whether was quiet, the
summer was gradually turning to
winter.
Right in the park were also a man
and a woman. The man looked
South American. He wasn’t
European. He smoked cigarette
and talked with his lady friend.
I had walked up to him and asked
him to give me a stick of
cigarette. He had given it to me
after grumbling in a language that
was strange to me.
”Are you Spanish” I had asked.
”Why do you ask” he said.
He was definitely a bad man. Bad
men usually ask you questions
instead of answers. Europeans
usually answered your questions
before asking you another one.
”Nothing, i just want to talk. My
wife is angry with me. I brought
her to the park to talk but she
wasn’t talking” i said as i looked
towards where Ify was sitting.
The Lady sitting with the man
giggled and said something, then
she asked if i did something wrong
to her.
”I don’t know, maybe i did” i lied.
She laughed and told me to go
and kneel down before her and
beg her.
I couldn’t help but smiled. I only
wanted to get the gentleman
talking and i had ended up being
told to go and kneel before Ify. I
decided to act.
I thanked the lady and walked to
Ify, then i knelt down in front of
her and said.
”I just told those two people that i
did something bad to you. They
told me to kneel down and beg
you. I want you to smile” i said.
Ify started laughing.
I got up and took her back to
where the two people seated.
The man had decided to talk with
me.
”Where are you from” he asked
me.
”Nigeria” i said.
He looked at the lady seated
beside her and nodded.
”I told you that he is Nigeriana” he
said.
He asked if i lived in Rotherdam
but i told him where i lived. He
said he knew two Nigerians in
Amsterdam. He called their
names. They were people i knew
very well.
He said his name was Carlos while
i told him i was Milla.
Carlos was from Colombia but had
lived in Rotherdam for five years.
We exchanged numbers and
promised to call Each other soon
enough.
Two plain clothed men walked
past us.
”They are Police, its time to go”
Carlos said.
As soon as the men were out of
sight, i dragged Ify up and left the
park towards the Rotherdam train
station.
”Excuse me Sir, can i see your
Passport” a voice said behind me.
I turned back and faced two men.
They were the two Police men i
just saw at the park.
” People often say that
motivation doesn’t last. Well,
neither does bathing. That’s
why we recommend it daily”

25: MEET CARLOS
Chapter 25: Meet Carlos.
”Excuse me Sir, can i see your
passport” the voice had said.
The two Plain cops we had seen at
the park was standing right
behind us.
I raised my eyebrows in a manner
that suggested to them that i
didn’t know who they were.
One of them flashed his badge
closely in my face to remind me
that he was a cop.
I brought out my passport and
handed it to them.
”Would you follow us sir” one said.
In Igbo Language, i told Ify to go
back to Amsterdam immediately.
”Don’t wait for me, just follow the
train standing over there and
leave. I will call you when i finish
with them. If anybody ask you
anything about me, tell them that
we met two days ago and that you
know nothing about me” i had
told Ify.
I followed them to a small office
outside the station.
They asked me to sit down while
they browsed through my
documents.
”When did you come here” one of
them asked.
”This morning” i said.
I knew that he was referring to
when i came to Holland but i
decided to make it when i came to
Rotherdam.
Can we see your transport ticket
Sir” one of them said.
I brought out the daily train ticket
i bought in Amsterdam and
handed it over to them.
After looking at it, he asked when i
came to Holland.
I told them that i came to
Amsterdam two days ago. When
they asked where my ticket to
Holland was, i said that it must be
in Amsterdam.
They asked me to stand up, then
they searched me thoroughly.
”What were you doing in the park
with that man” they asked.
”Nothing, i needed a cigarette and
went to him. That was my first
time of seeing him” i said.
They asked what i had come to do
in Rotherdam.
”My girlfriend said she knew a nice
park in Rotherdam and here we
are” i said.
After more irrelevant questions,
they gave me back my passport
and asked me to go.
As soon as i stepped outside, i
called Ify. She was still at the train
station. She had panicked and
missed the train, she was at a
coffee shop under the train
station.
I asked her if anybody approached
her for questions but she said
nobody did.
I walked to where she was and
pulled her up. She was still
nervous.
”I thought they will send you back
to Portugal” she said.
According to her, She didn’t know
what she would have done if that
was the case.
”Keep quiet and lets go. We can’t
talk about this here” i said.
We walked up to the station and
entered the Amsterdam train.
Apparently, the cops knew Carlos.
They might have been monitoring
him for sometime. Carlos
obviously knew them as well. He
had told me that they were Police.
The cops had searched me
because they believed that Carlos
had given me some drugs.
When we got to Amsterdam, i
called Carlos with a different
phone.
He didn’t know who it was until i
told him. He had said that i gave
him a different phone number
from the one i used to call.
”Carlos, those police men
controlled me at the station. They
took my phone and brought it
back to me after some minutes.
They could have bugged it. That is
why I called you with a new phone
and simcard” i said.
”You are a smart guy my man.
That is good” he said.
”I think they know you, please be
careful” i said.
”Of course they know me and i
know them” he said and laughed.
He said he will come to
Amsterdam the next day and
promised to call me.
Ify was still nervous. She had
suddenly realised that i could have
disappeared just like Chidi. She
wasn’t prepared for such event. I
had assured her that nothing
would happen to me but she knew
i was just trying to make her feel
alright.
When Carlos called the next day
and said he was at the Amsterdam
Arena, i took Ify along with me.
I met Carlos opposite the
Electronics mall at the Ajax
Stadium. We took our chairs to
the middle of the wide space and
talked. He had asked me to switch
off my phones.
He asked how much i would be
selling Cocaine for him in
Amsterdam. I gave him the
common market price. He said he
would remove €0.50 for me from
each one gram. Instead of €2700/
kg, i would be paying €2650.
He said he will send some Drugs
to me in a day. After having some
drinks, we went into the bar and
picked Ify up, then we drove back
to our apartment.
Dealing drugs with South
Americans worked in two ways.
They were never afraid of shooting
and killing people who steal their
monies. Carlos had warned me
thoroughly. He had told me that
his boss won’t forgive me if
anything happened to his goods.
He reminded me how dangerous
and risky it was to successfully
ship drugs from Colombia to
Europe.
When i finished showing him my
apartment, he drove back to
Rotherdam.
Ify didn’t know much about drugs
but she knew that it was a
dangerous business. She knew
that i was about to get involved
with Carlos and that it could only
mean one thing; drugs.
She had tried to advice me to
forget about the business with
Carlos and concentrate more on
the articles i wrote for the
newspapers.
Unknown to her, the €200 i got
monthly from the newspaper
wasn’t even enough to pay for one
room. If we were to survive in
Amsterdam, i was definitely going
back to drug business. I had tried
to convince her that i would only
do the business with Carlos for a
month and then i would quit. But i
knew that the South Americans
were dangerous, once you get
involved with them, it would be
hard to leave without a bullet.
When Carlos showed up the next
day, he came with another young
man. They had walked up to my
door and pressed the bell. When
they entered, the new guy
dropped a small bag on my table.
He asked me for clean water and
cup, I brought them for him.
He dipped his hand inside the bag
and brought out two kilos of
cocaine and a small gun. He kept
them on the table and looked at
me.
”This my friend, is two kilos of
pure Colombian white. If you sell
them fast, you get more and
more. This is good business for
you. I give you this because i
believe you are a good person
since you can kneel down for your
woman to Make her happy. If you
run with my money, you die with
the money” he said.
” There is only one way to
avoid criticism: do nothing, say
nothing, and be nothing”

26: I AM A CELEBRITY
Chapter 26: The Comedian.
As soon as the Colombian thugs
left, i started making calls. I told a
few people that i knew someone
who had good stuff.
I told only two people that it was
me who own the stuff. People
started calling later and before the
end of the day, i had sold the
whole stuff. There wasn’t much
money in it for me. I had only
made €1000 from the two Kilos. I
could have made more if i had
decided to grind and mix the pure
stuff with Soda powder (Ntugwa),
but in truth, i was afraid of the
Colombian thugs. I was sure they
brought the gun along just to
show me that they could kill me if
i tampered with their business.
I called Carlos that evening and
told him that i have sold them
out. He said that his friend would
contact me soon.
In less than five minutes, my
phone rang. It was the guy who
had brought out the gun in my
place. He said he was downstairs.
I took the money down to him and
he disappeared.
Apparently he had been around
my place since the drug was given
to me. He must have been
monitoring if and when i would
move out of the house with a
traveling bag. Those guys could do
anything to protect their money.
When i told Carlos that i had given
the money to Hugo, his friend, he
thanked me and promised to send
more drugs soon.
Business with Carlos continued.
He would brought three kilos
sometimes and even 1 kilo atimes.
We never quarreled or
misunderstood each other, he
liked me a lot. At a stage, he
stopped sending Hugo to get his
money. He started coming by
himself and asked me to bring it
for him sometimes.
Things went on that way.
The Nigerian community had
started seeing me in the public
again. They asked questions of
where i had been. They wanted to
know how i made up the jokes i
wrote on the newspaper. Everyone
wanted to buy me drinks. I had
started using some of their names
to write funny jokes. I had turned
a celebrity in Amsterdam. People
recognized me wherever i went.
Ify enjoyed the fame more than i
did. She was happy and proud to
be associated with me.
There was a concert organised by
a Yoruba man in Bijlmer, it was a
program ran by Julius Agwu. He
had invited Julius Agwu to come to
Amsterdam and perform. I was
approached by the manager of JD
Promotions, the organisers of the
event. I was asked if i could tell
some of my jokes on stage. I had
agreed to perform without giving
it much thought. I had seen some
comedians performed on stages
and i knew i was far better than
them.
However on the day of the
concert, i discovered that it wasn’t
as simple as i thought. I didn’t
practice. I didn’t take it serious. I
had been included in the Posters
which meant that my pictures
were pasted all over Amsterdam
and beyond.
On the morning of the event, i
digged inside my archive of jokes
and picked out six different jokes,
then i thought about how to
present them.
The show time was 8pm, however
i panicked around 6pm, and took
some whisky. It made me to lose
some of the things i had planned
for the night. As a result, i had
Found a pen and wrote down the
topics on my left hand. The topics
was going to help me remember
the jokes.
”Ladies and gentlemen, please
welcome Milla, the man behind
the Best of Jokes” the MC had
said.
It then dawned on me that i
wasn’t dreaming. My hands were
shaking as i walked up to the
stage. The crowed were cheering
which made things more difficult
and challenging. I was expected
not to disappoint.
I had walked like a goat and
grabbed the Microphone.
”Ladies and gentlemen, i am Milla”
i had said.
The crowd started clapping again.
Things were going fine. I had
wished that things would continue
that way until my time was up but
unfortunately, i was still going to
talk and make them laugh.
I began with a joke i wrote about
how President Yar’adua went to
Algeria to on a state visit and
when it was time to address the
Algerian people, he had stood up
and said.
”Thank you the people of Algeria, i
would have so much loved to
address you in your own language
but unfortunately, i am not very
good at Algebra”.
I had explained that the president
thought that the Language of
Algeria was Algebra.
People were laughing before i
finished the first joke, it had
helped me a lot and had given me
a lot of confidence.
I had started the second joke
amidst laughter and cheers from
the crowd. My second joke was
about a Robot machine that was
invented by the Japanese which
was capable of detecting lies.
The alcohol i took before the show
had suddenly disappeared as i
dazzled the audience with pure
jokes. I had mixed my regular
English with Pidgin English to
allow the easy flow. It was a
dilemma for me initially but as
soon as things got underway, i
didn’t care how i said anything
anymore. I was the guy with the
microphone.
The jokes i picked was exhausted
before my 15 minutes and as a
result, i resorted to picking
individuals from the crowd to
make jokes out of them. I told one
that he left his wife at home and
came to the show with his mother
in-law. Another one was shouting
at the back and when i told him to
keep quiet that he came to Europe
with legs, the crowd erupted
again.
It was easier than i had thought. I
wondered if that was all it took to
become a comedian.
When i left the stage, many people
wanted to take pictures with me.
Even Julius Agwu himself asked
that we take pictures. He said he
would like to work with me when
next he visited Europe.
I was given €400 and a bottle of
Hennessy. After the show, i took
many more pictures with People,
especially young girls. Ify was
naturally jealous and wanted me
to stop taking pictures with girls.
When we got home, the door to
our apartment was broken.
Danger alert!
Apparently the people who did
that knew that i was to participate
on the show. They must be
Nigerians who knew that i was
selling drugs almost daily.
We walked inside and everywhere
was littered with our belongings.
I went to the kitchen where i kept
one Kilo of Drugs Carlos gave me
the day before and it was not
there. They have taken it.
” Obstacles are those frightful
things you see when you take
your eyes off the goal”

Dear Uncle Azubuike,
Thanks for the consistent posts and I've learnt a lot and exposed to some facts concealed in travelling. More power to your elbow sir. May you continue to enjoy peace and blessings. Amen.



Is registration still open on globalruns?

Chai,anoda wahala,how will u pay the colombians now??

Nice 1 zubby

Chapter 27: Thieves.
A kilo of Cocaine was €27000. It
was true that i had saved some
money but it wasn’t up to €27000.
Carlos and his mobs expected me
to pay them their money.
The biggest problem was that i
couldn’t go to the Police to report
the burglary. I was living illegaly in
Amsterdam. Even if i went to the
police, there was no way i was
going to tell them that one
kilogram of Cocaine was stolen
from me. That left me with just
Carlos and his mobs.
I waited until 8am before i called
Hugo to come. When he came, he
saw that my door was broken.
”Hugo, I called you here to see
this. I don’t know who broke into
my house yesterday and stole my
things” i said.
After walking around the house,
he called Carlos and reported that
i had been robbed. He told Carlos
that the thieves took the cocaine
and my money.
Carlos didn’t say much, he just
promised to come down to
Amsterdam and see me.
It was obvious that the thieves
knew i was not at home. It also
meant that it had a Nigerian
connection. Someone who knew
me very well had known where i
would be that night. As a result, i
decided to start underground
investigation. The only problem
was that Carlos may not give me
enough time to act.
The money i hid under the table in
my room was also taken. It was
about €8000. My room was not
scattered. Whoever took the
money had gone straight to where
it was and took it.
Who could have done that?
Ify knew where the money was,
she also knew that Carlos visited
me the day before the incident.
Carlos had come to take his
money and had given me one
kilogram to sell.
The whole fingers pointed to one
person; Ify.
It was almost impossible to
suspect her but i never really
trusted Ify. The way she came into
my life wasn’t so good, she came
through the back door.
When she walked into the
bathroom to bath, i went to her
room, took her phone and walked
back to my room.
Then i went through the call logs.
She had called one Ikenna at
exactly 21:24, that was the time i
was on stage.
I copied down the phone number
of Ikenna and browsed through
the message inbox.
What i saw there jolted me. It was
a message from an unregistered
number. It read: ”We don finish”.
I copied the number down as well.
By the time i came out of my
room to drop her phone back, she
was already back in her room.
I dialed Robin’s number from her
phone and started talking.
”Guy, some people broke into my
apartment. I am calling you from
my girl’s phone. I have no airtime
in my own phone” i said.
I made sure Ify heard me very
well.
”Baby, i borrowed some airtime
from your phone to call
somebody” i said.
She said it was OK.
After taking her bath, Ify said she
was going out to Amsterdamse
poort.
”Its Ok, you can go. I need to have
some rest” i said.
I quickly went into my room and
put on a trouser and pullover.
When i came out, i saw Ify walking
towards Amsterdamse Poort.
I took the lift downstairs and
followed her. She got to a large
building opposite the Police
Station and pressed a bell.
A few seconds later the door was
opened for her.
I left there and took a Snoda down
to Robin’s house.
He was eating when i got there, i
joined him.
”I think Ify was involved in what
happened in our house” i said.
I went on to tell him how i
reached that conclusion. No
doubt, he felt the same way too
but he warned that Ikenna could
also be a guy she was dating.
We discussed about how to find
out.
Since i already got Ikenna’s
number, it was easy to track him
down.
I gave his number to Robin. He
called him.
”Hey guy, its me. Do you know
anybody who have good stuff, i
need half Kilo” Robin said.
Naturally he asked Robin who he
was.
Robin told him that they
exchanged numbers in
Amsterdamse poort sometime
ago.
Every Nigerian in Amsterdam
visited Amsterdamse poort atleast
twice a week. That was where
everything centered.
Ikenna said he knew someone who
had some stuff.
Robin asked where it was and
promised to visit them instantly.
Although drug business was not a
business you discuss with people
you didn’t know very well but
every Nigerian, especially the
Igbos in Amsterdam shared their
numbers among each other. Even
if someone called and asked for
some stuff, as long as he spoke
Igbo Language, it was assumed to
be safe to deal with him.
Robin went alone to Ikenna. He
met Ify there. Ikenna had made a
call for someone to bring the stuff
to his place. When the stuff
arrived, Robin cooked it as usual
and confirmed it to be good.
However, he gave excuse that he
wanted brown stuff but since the
one Ikenna had was good, he
bought only 100 grams.
When he returned, i checked the
stuff and knew that it was the
Colombian stuff from Carlos.
I called Carlos instantly.
”Big C, i think i found the people
who stole our stuff” i said.
He told me that he was already on
his way to Amsterdam.
I waited or him in Robin’s House.
When he arrived, Carlos was with
two other South Americans i had
never seen before.
They had entered the apartment
and sat down.
”My friend, you told me you found
the thieves, did you get my stuff
from them” Carlos had said.
The look in his eyes suggested
that he was in no mood to play
around.
”I think my girlfriend, knew about
the deal. I checked her phone and
saw that she called one guy last
night when we were at a party. I
took the guy’s number from her
phone and gave to my Cousin
here. He called him and got this
stuff from him” i said as i handed
the 100 gram to him.
He sniffed it and handed it over to
another one of his gang.
The new guy checked it and
nodded. It was a confirmation
that it was from their cartel. One
of them went to their car and
came back with a brown liquid.
They took a small sample of the
cocaine and dropped it inside the
liquid, it changed from White to
blue. They all looked at each other
and smiled.
”You are a clever man my friend.
Where does this guy live” Carlos
asked.
I told them the name of the
building where Ikenna lived.
They stood up at once.
We were going to Ikenna.
” Go confidently in the
direction of your dreams. Live
the life you have imagined”

Chapter 28: The Recovery.
”Wait Carlos, this is how we are
going to do this. If all of us go to
his house, we may not be able to
get in” i said.
They sat down again and listened
to my plans.
”First of all, my cousin will call
him and request to buy more stuff
from him. He will ask him to bring
the stuff here, then we will all
come out from a room when he
arrives” i said.
They looked at each other and
nodded.
When Robin called and told Ikenna
that he needed the whole
remaining stuff for his white
customers, Ikenna promised to
bring it in twenty minutes.
We waited and drank whisky until
Ikenna called and said he was at
the door, then we moved into a
room and waited.
Ikenna entered the house and
brought out the stuff.
At that very moment, i opened the
door and came out, Carlos and the
other two guys followed.
As soon as he saw us, Ikenna
instantly knew that he was caught.
He had looked from me to Carlos
and to Robin.
Carlos picked up the pack of
cocaine on the table, it was still
inside the original package which
had the initials of their Cartel.
”Where did you get this stuff”
Carlos asked Ikenna.
He said that he bought it from
somebody.
Carlos asked him to give him that
person’s house number.
Ikenna didn’t say anything.
”This stuff belong to me. You stole
it last night and you are going to
pay with your life” Carlos said as
he brought out a gun.
Ikenna fainted.
”Hey hey Big C, you can’t shoot
anybody here. We found the stuff
and that is it. This is my cousin’s
house and we can’t mess it up for
him” i said.
One of the guys who came with
Carlos was already kicking Ikenna
who wasn’t even breathing.
I was alerted.
”Wait Amigo, this man is not
turning his body. Stop kicking him”
i said as i pushed the guy
backwards.
He was angered by my push and
had quickly brought out his gun.
Wow! Those thugs had come with
fire arms.
What exactly did they intend to do
with the weapons?. I remembered
that when i called Carlos, he told
me that he was already in the car
driving to Amsterdam. It all meant
that they were coming for me.
Fortunately, i had managed to
locate the stuff before they
arrived.
Carlos had said something in
Spanish which made the slim guy
to put his gun back in his pocket.
”We are going now. Call me when
you finish selling the stuff” Carlos
said to me as he pointed towards
the pack of cocaine on the table.
”Uhm, no Big C. I am not selling
it. Take it with you. I don’t like the
way you came here with guns. We
have been doing this business for
long and you came here with
guns” i said.
Carlos and his gang where already
exiting the house. They left th stuff
there and went out to their car.
I followed them to the door and
watched as they entered their car
and drove away.
Robin, who had been stunned with
what happened in his place,
gathered the drugs and took them
away.
Ikenna was still on the floor.
I went to the bathroom and
brought cold water, then started
pouring it on him.
He opened his eyes a Minute later
and asked what happened.
”They are outside waiting for you
to get up. Who sent you to break
my house?” i said.
The question seemed to have
brought him back to his senses.
”Its your girlfriend oh, he told us
that you have market and money”
he shouted.
”Us? You and who did that?” i
asked.
He suddenly realised what he had
said and kept quiet.
I brought out my phone and told
him that i was going to call the
Colombians and tell them that you
are awake now.
”They wanted to shoot you but i
told them to wait first. So if you
don’t tell me what i want to know,
i will call them to return inside the
house” i said.
Ikenna knelt down and started
begging.
His phone rang.
I took it from him before he could
do anything.
It was an unregistered number
but it was a combination of
numbers i knew very well; it
belonged to Ify.
I ignored it.
”Where is the money you stole
from my house” i asked.
He said they have shared it into
three. According to him, his share
was €3000, his co-burglar got the
same amount while Ify got €2000.
Robin had returned to the sitting
room and was sitting beside me.
”Who is this your friend who got
€3000” i asked.
”His name is Ehis. He is an Esan
guy who lives in Venserpolder” he
said.
”Alright, call Ehis now and tell him
that you have sold the whole stuff.
Tell him to come here
immediately” I said.
Ikenna took his phone and called
Ehis. He said he would come in 15
minutes. We sat there and waited
for him.
He came within 15 minutes like he
promised and when he entered
the house and saw the
environment and mood, he knew
that something was wrong.
”Are you Ehis” i asked.
He kept quiet and looked from me
to Ikenna whose clothes were
soaked with water.
”Ehis i believe you saw a car that
parked outside, if you looked
inside, you must have seen some
Colombians. They are the people
who own the drugs and the money
you stole in my house last night. I
am going to call them if you don’t
answer my next question. If they
come in here and find out that
Ikenna is alive, they will kill both
of you” i said.
”Ehis please, do what he says, they
came here with guns” Ikenna said.
”What do you want” Ehis asked.
”Good question. I want the
€20,000 you people stole in my
place and i want it here and now” i
said.
”We didn’t steal that amount, we
only saw €8000” he said.
I asked where it was and he
explained that he only got €3000.
He initially denied that he didn’t
have the money with him but
when i started calling Carlos, he
produced his wallet from nowhere
and brought out the money.
”Where is my money” i asked
Ikenna.
He said he left it in his house.
”You can now call Ify. Tell her
where the money is and tell her to
bring it along with her own €2000”
i said.
Ikenna said he didn’t give any
money to Ify yet.
When he called Ify, he told her to
find some money under his
Mattress and bring all of it to
where we were.
We waited for several minutes
until we heard the door bell.
It was my Ify.
” Successful people are
always looking for opportunities
to help others. Unsuccessful
people are always asking,
“What’s in it for me?”

Chapter 29: That is my Money.
”Hello baby, i thought you said
you were going to Amsterdamse
poort, what are you doing here?” i
said as soon as Ify stepped into
the house.
She was confused initially or
atleast she pretended to be.
She had seen Ikenna on the floor
with soaked clothes.
Ehis was sitting on the single chair
opposite where Robin and I were
seated. He had asked to leave but
i warned him that he would be
shot by the Colombians as soon
as he stepped out of the house
without me.
Carlos and his mobs had left long
ago. I had only decided to act as if
they were still outside. The South
American mobs never stayed too
long in one place.
Unfortunately for Ehis and Ikenna,
there were many cars packed in
front of almost every building in
Bijlmer. It was impossible to know
if people were inside any of them
or not without checking them out
one after the other.
”Ikenna is with our €7200. He and
his friend came to our house to
steal the money while we were at
the concert yesterday night. He
said he would call his girlfriend to
bring the money here but i didn’t
know it was you. Do you have the
money with you”?. I said.
Ify looked at Ikenna who nodded.
She brought out the money she
came with and left it on the table,
then she started crying.
”No no no, not here in my house.
You can’t cry here. Just shut up or
leave. The Colo people almost
killed this man here because of
you” Robin said.
He was visibly angry. I didn’t know
he was that angry. I have never
seen him that way.
Ify had instantly kept quiet and
was cleaning her crocodile tears
with her left hand.
I picked up the money and started
counting it.
It was €5000.
”Where is the €2700 You got from
our 100 grams this morning” i
asked.
He said it was in his wallet. He
brought out the wallet and put the
money on the table.
I counted it and it was €3200. I
removed a €500 note and threw it
at Ify.
”Your boyfriend is giving you this
one to go and find a room where
you will be staying from now on.
We are no longer going to stay in
one place. I can help you find a
room but i will tell the owner that
you have criminal boyfriend” i
said.
She wanted to start crying again
but remembered how angry Robin
was.
”Ok people, it is time to leave. You
people are going to leave through
the back door. There is a dwarf
fence there but you can jump
through it. Look left and right and
make sure nobody is looking
before you jump.
Follow the left side of the road
and disappear. If you follow the
right side, the Colombians could
see you” I said as i opened the
door to the back Yard.
I asked Ifeyinwa to stay behind. I
wanted her to go back together
with me to our apartment. I
wanted to talk to her and find out
why she did what she did.
It was true that she was regarded
as a thief as well but she was my
responsibility. Maybe if i had done
things differently, she could not
have done what she did.
If i had impregnated her, she
would never thought about
ganging up with people to steal
my money. She waited.
I asked Robin to Take the drugs
away from his house for the time
being. He was still surprised that i
had business partners who carried
guns around.
I gave him his €2700 and left with
Ify.
It was already getting dark when
we got to our house. Our front
door was closed the way i left it
but i simple push opened it. I
didn’t know how those silly
thieves damaged the key. It didn’t
matter anyway because i had
made up my mind to look for a
new place.
”I don’t want to know why you
called people to come and steal
our money. I call it our money
because i have been paying the
house rent alone while you
occupied two rooms in the name
of safeguarding one small bag for
your boyfriend Chidi. I have been
buying everything you eat in this
house. I have been responsible for
your clothes and hair and creams.
There is a woman called Ada, who
finds houses for people. Call her
and ask her to find a room for
you. You can also pack your
belongings and go to Ikenna” i
said.
She sat on the sofa and cried. I
didn’t care. I didn’t feel anything
for her. The colombians could
have wounded or killed me
because of her stupidity. It was
dangerous to live with her in the
same place when she wasn’t even
an official girlfriend or wife.
It was after the burglary that i
realised the mistake i had been
making.
It seemed that i was a difficult
person for women. I believed i
didn’t give them the love and time
they required and demanded. But
i was a field soldier who had only
one thing in mind.
Ify wasn’t a bad person, i never
saw her did anything out of order.
She was just a girl trying to
survive. I had once given her
money to send to her people back
in Africa.
Somehow i believed that she
needed money to prepare herself
for any uncertainty that might
befell me, but she could have just
asked.
I allowed her to know where i hid
my money under the table
because i wanted her to be able to
have some money to use or pay
for lawyer if anything happened to
me. But she decided to be faster.
I called Robin to start looking for
a new apartment where him and I
would occupy as our own. The
sole owner of where he lived had
gone to Spain for some business
and we were lucky that he wasn’t
around when the Colombians
came. He would have asked Robin
to leave.
”I am leaving this place any
moment Ify. It is better that you
start making plans on how to
leave too. I don’t want to abandon
you that way. If you need money
for food, you can call me but you
need to live alone. I don’t trust
you anymore and you know why.
Carlos wanted to shoot me and
even Ikenna today because of his
drugs. It was all because of you” i
said.
She didn’t say anything. She just
sat on the chair and cried. At a
stage, she suddenly kept quiet and
dried her tears.
I was alerted. I was also curious
to know why she had suddenly
stopped that way.
I shifted my gaze towards her and
kept it there.
”Azubuike, I have something to tell
you” she said.
”What is it” i asked.
She cleared her throat and said:
”I am Pregnant”
” Certain things catch your
eye, but pursue only those that
capture the heart.”

Chapter 30: The pregnancy.
For about twenty minutes, i didn’t
say anything.
Ify had left her seat and came in
front of me. She was kneeling
down and the tears had started to
flow downwards once more.
”How long have you been sleeping
around with men” i asked.
She said that she had only slept
with Ikenna and me. According to
her, she had discovered that her
monthly period had stopped. Then
she had gone to a pharmacy
where they confirmed that she
had taken in. She had asked them
to do a test to find out the blood
type and the other information
about the baby which would help
her determine who the father was
among Ikenna and I. They had
told her that it required money.
She had suspected that it was
Ikenna who Impregnated her since
I had decided to start Using
condom over the past month. As a
result, she had decided to
approach Ikenna first since He had
slept with her three times without
condom in the past one month.
Ikenna had said that he had no
money for the hospital tests. She
had told Ikenna that he knew
where i hid my money, then
Ikenna had suggested that she
stole it.
She had told Ikenna that she
couldn’t do that since it was only
She and I who lived in the House.
Ikenna had once again, suggested
that they broke into the house and
steal the money on the day of the
Concert which they knew i was
going to be on the show.
She said she had called Ikenna as
soon as i took the Microphone
that night.
Her story was very good and
clearly believable. I knew lies when
i heard them.
”Did you also tell them where the
drugs from the Colombians where
hidden” i asked, just for the sake
of saying something after what
she had told me.
She stood up suddenly and said:
”I didn’t tell them about drugs, i
only knew about it when you said
that it was missing. That was the
reason why i told you that i was
going to Amsterdamse poort. I
went to his house to ask him why
he took the drugs. I told him to
return it but he said he can’t do
that. I told him that it was the
Colombians who own the drugs
but he didn’t believe me. I swear, i
only told him about the money”
she said amidst tears.
”Ifeyinwa, i believe you. Now i
know what happened but i still
can’t live under the same roof
with you again. I don’t trust
people and i don’t allow one thing
to happen to me twice” i said.
”What exactly do you expect me to
do for you now” i asked.
”I don’t know” she said.
”Alright, clean yourself up and
prepare for hospital tomorrow
morning, you are going for the
tests. If the baby belongs to me,
we will find a new place and stay
together but if it is not mine, you
will leave my life” i said.
She jumped up and hugged me for
long.
”I am very sorry that i did this
after everything you have been
doing for me. I only panicked
when i found out i was pregnant. I
should have told you first” she
said.
”Go to the kitchen and prepare
something for us, i am hungry” i
said.
I had started pitying her. It was
strange how people’s lives change
in a twinkle of an eye
During the night, she came to
sleep on my bed. I left her there
and went to the sitting room
where i smoked Marijuana. I later
slept off on the sofa and when i
woke up, it was already 7am.
Ify was already prepared when i
woke up. As i brushed my teeth,
Robin called and said someone
wanted to buy the Colombian
stuff. I told him to sell it.
Carlos also called and asked when
he would come for his money.
”I will call you back later in the
day and tell you” i had told him
and hung up.
We got to a private hospital where
we conducted the tests. The total
cost stood at €1223. It was
supposed to be far less than that
but we had no health insurance
cards which could have cut the
prices by over 90%. It was one of
the travails of illegal immigrants
all over the World; No health
Insurance, no social security and
no anything, just waking up and
eating every other day.
We were told to return by midday,
therefore we took the opportunity
to go to a man-made beach at the
Gasperdam. It was empty and
quiet as i had expected. We sat
there and talked.
We both evaluated Ikenna, what
he does, how he behaved and
where he came from. Ify knew
absolutely nothing about Ikenna,
the charming guy had just flashed
his open teeth and smiled his way
into Ify’s pants.
She said she wanted to keep
Ikenna as a friend whom she
would run to if anything ever
happened to me but somehow he
had managed to convince her to
sleep with him.
We discussed what would happen
if the baby was Ikenna’s, which Ify
herself was pretty convinced it
was.
She didn’t know, she only said
that she would not attempt
abortion. She would keep the
baby, according to her.
That was a good decision by her
but i wondered if i would have any
role to play in her life anymore.
Despite that Ify betrayed me, she
had become more vulnerable to
danger, hunger and the harsh
conditions of illegal immigrants in
Amsterdam. She needed me more
than ever but still she made that
mistake of not telling me about
the pregnancy. Peharps she knew i
would tell her that i had used
condoms but i believed that she
could have pinned it on me if she
was strong-hearted enough but
things had gotten complicated.
At noon, we took a Snoda and
went back to the hospital. The
results were ready when we came.
We collected it and took another
snoda back home. She had asked
me to open them inside the car
but i refused. I knew that
emotions would be involved.
If the baby was mine, i would be
emotional. If the baby wasn’t
mine, i would still be emotional
since i would be cleaning the tears
running down from Ify’s eyes.
Either way, i wanted everything to
be inside our sitting room.
Chidi, who gave me the house
would have gladly accepted Ify and
the pregnancy since i believed that
was what he wanted.
As soon as we got home, we went
upstairs and sat down. Ify was
leaning on my shoulder now. She
didn’t ask me to open the
envelopes but i did anyway.
I scrolled down fast to the blood
type and gene DNA and RNA, it
didn’t match.
The baby wasn’t mine.
” Everything you’ve ever
wanted is on the other side of
fear.”

I think you have a weakness for women. well, we all do.

Nice 1 oga azubby

Oga Zuby and the whole house,
I'm writing a story, here is the link; http:// www.nairaland.com/1524017/moment-atm#19674969
Kindly read and comment.
Thanks!

Oga zubby abeg where u dey nau...cos na MB I dey take refresh dis pages since yestaday........

Tascocent: Oga zubby abeg where u dey nau...cos na MB I dey take refresh dis pages since yestaday........

Globalruns.com there was update today

oga Sibi pls how do I register on ur website

oh it made fp....alas!! guess dis is d censored version

drnairalov: oh it made fp....alas!! guess dis is d censored version

Yeah! That's why its on Literature section

Fp oh!!

thunder fire op.mod no vex na hunger cause am.mtcheew useless topic