A while ago someone asked "Why is
christian dating such a challenging a
task? It was quite easy for me to date as
an unbeliever but ever since I got born
again, dating has been a challenge." I've heard a guy say he thought dating
someone from his church felt fake because
you are never free to express yourself, there
seem to be many more don'ts than dos. I think many new believers go through this.
The real problem is an obvious one here. I
want to start by asking one question though;
If all you needed to pass a particular exam
was to simply show up and write your name,
would you bother to study hard? You sure need to do a lot more of studying
God's Word to pass this one. I am of the
opinion that Christian courtship (if done as it
should be) is one of the most fulfilling forms
of relationships there can be on the surface
of the earth. The problem that most people have is that
there is God's way of going about it (which
people term as "rules" highlights the fact that
people do not like rules or any semblance of
restriction at that) but you have to choose
between the broad-way of sin (which you have forsaken but which you and I must
admit is more acceptable to the world) and
the straight n' narrow path of the Christian
life. On closer observation one would realize these
"rules" are not meant to restrict, rather they
are to guide you in the path of true love for
the other person.The earnest desire for the
ultimate eventual good of the recipient of
your love. This contrasts sharply with the innate/natural
love of self.The love that is geared towards
using the other to gratify one's base,
immediate urges. Any one on the street can
love a girl's body but who can love her entire
being? True Christian courtship teaches you to
love your woman for who God made her
to be. To love her for her. To love her
soul, her very being, her personality, her
ideals, her take/slant on issues, the way
she laughs-in short everything about her even her occasional flaws. One of the greatest joys a woman can have
is, knowing her man loves her beyond her
physical attributes (which are transient
anyway). He loves her total being. Introduce
sexual immorality (pouring your lust over her)
into this entire equation and it's like deactivating the brakes of a car cruising at
170miles/h.The end is better imagined. 1John5:3 For this is the love of God that we
keep His commandments: and His
commandments are not grievous. And for a
true believer His commandments become
innate. On the question of abstinence, sexual
abstinence has nothing to do with chastity
either. At best abstinence could be included
in the concept of "decency," resulting from
discipline, education or self-control. True
chastity is purity of thought, but in all things right down to everyday business. Chastity is a
purely spiritual and not a physical quality. It's a beautiful thing to be in a relationship
with all the right values and attitudes. And I
believe that " Christian Dating " offers an
excellent platform for developing the right
mindset which would prove invaluable in
marriage and family life when practiced with some of the points he's outlined. Do not subscribe to the school of thought
that believe Christian dating is all about
don'ts. If you study the scriptures thoroughly
(as you should), you'll discover there're far
more "dos" e.g. "Love one another sincerely", "Speak the truth in love", "Esteem the other more highly than yourself", "Be kindly affectionate to one another", the list is inexhaustible.

I will comment later jus too long

I took control of my relationship and mind you, I knew all I was not supposed to do therein. I never listened to anyone thru out the relationship and today I can categorically say that my marriage is 100 percent better than the marriages of a lot of stupid marriage counsellors. Why shud I allow a foool to tell me to follow the rules he never obeyed himself during his own courtship? Yeye they smell.

Great write up.....xtains nerd to see dis...God bless u for dis

Rules or no rules...we just need to follow d principles of d bible

Nice