pickabeau1: If it was your brother in the scenario and you were not able to meet the women prior to the wedding say due to work, location etc

And you know her to be a lady of questionable xter back in the day with multiple patrons and abortions, will you have this same conclusion

I already stated what I would do,I believe. For starters, I don't keep such "childish,silllly,idle gossips" as friends so it WON'T happen.
I won't be surprised if those friends NEVER actually slept with the said babe. She might just be the outgoing, fun/party loving kind of girl and nothing more
You lose your right to talk if as a sibling,you are too busy to see your sibling's soon-to-be wife or husband BEFORE marriage unless you are living in another country.

I repeat, after its signed and sealed, no 3rd party has the right to pokenose or dig out dirts from the past of any couple UNLESS its criminal .

I don't think it was Right to Broach the News to your Brother in that manner, Haba Not on his Wedding day Naw. I believe as the Brother inlaw to the Girl, You can always Call her Up and Let her Know you are aware of her Past and Hope she has Changed. People change you know and for the Fact that she messed up in School days doesn't mean she would remain like that Forever.

For Now, Lay Low. Let things Mature and Time would heal this Wound!

IMHO, i think the brother is jealous.
No matter what he heard about his brother's wife, he should have handled it maturedly.
What gives him the impression that the girl had not already confided to the guy and is now truly a new leaf??
Abeg op, if you are the one, go and apologize to the girl and your brother.

Simple!!!

U did d rite fin at d wrong. Time ......anywaiz jus leave ur family alone....if they don't bliv u its their p ooooo....

Nashville:

Right, but the issue is that cause that kind of a scene on the wedding day?

Granted he let his emotions get involved cos of the concern he has for his broda and things went out of hand
The key Q is if the brother is privy to all the info and will it will affected his decision...

if no.. then all is well

If yes.. then there is gobe...

ifyalways: I already stated what I would do,I believe. For starters, I don't keep such "childish,silllly,idle gossips" as friends so it WON'T happen.
I won't be surprised if those friends NEVER actually slept with the said babe. She might just be the outgoing, fun/party loving kind of girl and nothing more
You lose your right to talk if as a sibling,you are too busy to see your sibling's soon-to-be wife or husband BEFORE marriage unless you are living in another country.

I repeat, after its signed and sealed, no 3rd party has the right to pokenose or dig out dirts from the past of any couple UNLESS its criminal .

hmm... they may never have slept with the babe ;alternatively that may be a tip of the iceberg.
He did it out of love... timing and approacj may be bad but his heart may be right...

Everyone has a past and deserves a second chance but some pasts are more than other pasts

Remember ths story here on this forum where a guy just absconded to canada because his wife has a tubal blockage due to multiple abortions
One just prays never to enter one chance....

Lesson learnt: 80% of NLers are wrong advisers

People are too nosy and entwined in people's affairs in this country sha all under the guise of being a bro's keeper. How d'u know the girl hasn't changed n how du know she hasn't discussed her past with her hussy?

pickabeau1:

Granted he let his emotions get involved cos of the concern he has for his broda and things went out of hand
The key Q is if the brother is privy to all the info and will it will affected his decision...

if no.. then all is well

If yes.. then there is gobe...

That is why I said earlier that the first thing the brother should have done after the honeymoon is to use style and find out if the groom had any idea about the girl's history. Before talking to anyone, first of all try find out if he knows anything. You can just say, that your wife used to be popular o, alot of my friends knew her from school and the discussion will flow from there.

If the groom knows about her past, then the case ends there, it is no longer any body's business. Now if he didn't then the brother should consult the family on how best to lay the issues before the groom.

I disagree with those that claim he should talk to the girl and ask if she has changed? What do you expect her to say - that she is still an ashi?

Typical Nigerian marriages.
What if the brother just wants someone that will go down on him every time whenever he needs it.
What if he married her because of her so called experience.
Even if she was a love peddler, what if he doesn't want a kid.
What if, what if...

As for me, I don't involve my self in such thing.. Every adult should learn to live with the consequences of their action.
If in the future, he says he can't take it anymore...
They go their ways.


MARRIAGE IS NOT A DO OR DIE O!

I hope th girl told the husband about her past, if not...this is the beginning of a failed relationship.

hahahaha.. people will marry someone just to go down on them.. not even an old man.. but a young afrikan man starting his life....

You diasporic people sef

Chillisauce: Typical Nigerian marriages.
What if the brother just wants someone that will go down on him every time whenever he needs it.
What if he married her because of her so called experience.

Even if she was a love peddler, what if he doesn't want a kid.
What if, what if...

As for me, I don't involve my self in such thing.. Every adult should learn to live with the consequences of their action.
If in the future, he says he can't take it anymore...
They go their ways.


MARRIAGE IS NOT A DO OR DIE O!

I hope th girl told the husband about her past, if not...this is the beginning of a failed relationship.

nice one... as if the gal will confess

really a bind.. well the husband knows... the ball is now in his court

I hope they have no issues with fertility ...

Nashville:
That is why I said earlier that the first thing the brother should have done after the honeymoon is to use style and find out if the groom had any idea about the girl's history. Before talking to anyone, first of all try find out if he knows anything. You can just say, that your wife used to be popular o, alot of my friends knew her from school and the discussion will flow from there.

If the groom knows about her past, then the case ends there, it is no longer any body's business. Now if he didn't then the brother should consult the family on how best to lay the issues before the groom.

I disagree with those that claim he should talk to the girl and ask if she has changed? What do you expect her to say - that she is still an ashi?

pickabeau1: hahahaha.. people will marry someone just to go down on them.. not even an old man.. but a young afrikan man starting his life....

You diasporic people sef

My dear, just because you couldn't doesn't mean someone else won't.

After all, so called "African men" don't believe in homosexuality but what's going on now.

Ppl tend to suppress their feeling because of what ppl will say or think of them.
You can never tell o

bjprodint: is it possible for u not to meet ur brothers fiancee b4 d wedding?abeg pack well

Indeed!...the gossip simply got served...serves him right!

Chillisauce:

My dear, just because you couldn't doesn't mean someone else won't.

After all, so called "African men" don't believe in homosexuality but what's going on now.

Ppl tend to suppress their feeling because of what ppl will say or think of them.
You can never tell o

Hahaha....u have a point there though I think it's a bit far fetched
in afrika we love babies. Why else do people marry

Why is gun use not legalised in naija?

Spontaneous reaction of every human.
What might precipitated the reaction is ...you must have sleep with her....cos if your friends are really the one that told you these, you won't run along immediately to break the news...there would've been a time for sober reflection before the act.
You don't want your brother fucccking a public hole.....heroic brother indeed.
If I was the guy,...I would've blackmail the girl to total submission to my brother.. or else.....

I dnt mean to be rude.cant let anybody/my broda marry a LovePeddler.dad wil fling her out if the story of her life is true..

yellowpawpaw: Why is gun use not legalised in naija?

Who you wanna shoot YPP

Op doesnt have to feel bad jare..

Keeping quiet would have been the wrong thing.

If a brother thought that I was making a mistake and did not tell me about it, that would be the wrong thing..that would make me angry and is the reason to not speak with him.

IF the lady was having HIV, would it not be right that the brother knows before consumating the marriage?

@Op, your bro needs to grow up. Don't beat yourself over this.

And why is evry other family member sulking. Have they been collecting bournvita from the wife?

ifyalways:
How do you people marry nowadays ? You meet someone in Lagos today,date for 3 months and marry?

In my place we ask questions,dig and dig before marriage so there is no such luck. If i find out after marriage,tough luck. Life itself na gamble.

see change of mouth...
the questioning & digging are irrelevant - you already said he might have changed which means the investigation shouldn't matter. he's a changed man after all.

so answer the question again - would you marry a serial räpist, ritualist, cannibal, drug mule, etc who has changed?

dayokanu: I wont keep quiet if I find out my brother self wan marry public toilet olonsho

only an idiotic sibling would keep quiet and let his brother have unprotected sëx with a potential HIV-carrier.

Gloriagee: People are too nosy and entwined in people's affairs in this country sha all under the guise of being a bro's keeper. How d'u know the girl hasn't changed n how du know she hasn't discussed her past with her hussy?

Obviously the brother doesn't know, judging by how he reacted. The elder bro should have told the parents and kept quiet himself. Their parents are still alive he should have done that. Anyway even this is still better than not doing anything.

We are just too quick to cast stones. If we all don't want to marry someone with a past, then why do we seek and preach for change. Because it makes no sense to me that we condemn someone and sometimes pray that this person changes and few months/years down the line, the person actually changes and then we judge this person and bring up the past again when we see or hear this person is about getting married or soaring higher.

OP you did wrong, i must say. You didn't handle it well at all. What if she has changed? You said your friends knew her in school, when did you guys graduate? What if these guys are lying just to boost their ego or for the sake of talking? What if she was the party type but don't necessary sleep with guys? And what if she has really accepted JESUS and is a changed person and will end up being the best inlaw you will ever have? What if?

And the best time and place is on your brothers wedding day. Did you even investigate? You did wrong seriously. Your may have the right intentions but your approach is bad.

Apostle Paul in the bible was a killer but when he met JESUS, he was a total new being. Am sure in those days, they were people who prayed and wish that he changed. Do you now judge him base on the wrongs he did in the past or base on the good works GOD used him to accomplished?

And about children, GOD is the giver of children and HE has a plan for everyone. What if your brother is the angel assigned to her to help her achieve her GOD given purpose.

LET GOD BE THE JUDGE, HE ALONE SEES ALL OUR ACTIONS.

Pls forgive my typos.

...The evil men do live with them. Honestly, won't let my brothers f all victims to such....except if they are birds of same feathers..ish. No innocent brother of mine will married a repented runs girl. Refer to my post above. O buru na agwocha ara..igbu n'ikuku adighi ana. My take on this.

from all the op has posted, his brother is a gentle guy - not a runs guy

i have also heard horror stories of guys lives made absolutely miserable by marrying runs girls

This is scary!....See why i am afraid to meet just any lady and have her "tell" me about herself? Very soon men will be posting adverts in newspapers asking for useful informations about their potential spouse.

I know how it feels for you to hear rumour esp from friends and for you confirming it at the same time i.e. as she is used to her usual name "ever ready" thereby turning back to give you the look of "how did u know that name or how did u know me". And to tell the truth, anger don't make you think but atleast you voiced out from the begining cos for me i might have done the same. If you love some one you wouldn't hide such info. So as to prevent your bro from a forever disease and a forever torture of childlessness. Imagine his wife teln him to wait on God when she knows that she's at fault. And you knowing she's a flirt will feel guilty when you see your bro sad face. You did what you think should be done .afterall we all make mistakes. It's up to them not to blame you for any miss fortune when any arises cause you've told them the truth. Next thing now to do is to tell them you are sorry that it was rumour you heard and you acted out of anger. Now you've saved your self, so if anything hapen, you know that you warned them bt if nothing hapen, you know you earned their forgiveness. No big deal again.

Can u send the manual script coz I wanna be da director of the up coming super story xtra......

So,its 2020 and I'm at a wedding reception. The groom is Dayokanu and the bride is Coogar's cute,innocent lil' sister.

I am coogars guest so I sat beside him. I couldn't make the church service though and only saw the groom at the reception. I became dizzy and couldn't believe my eyes. Dayo from Egbeda? Dayo aka "fear no skirt" ? Dude banged anything in skirt! 3 of my hood girls told me they had DC's for him at different times, I personally remember seeing him hanging out with about 6 different ladies at various times. Fortunately, I never banged him.

So,I call my friend Coogar and say, " Is that your sister's hubby or the best man?"
Coogar: Yes,that's him.The groom.
Me: Dayo?
Coogar: Yeah. You know him?
Me: ooh dear,I do. All the way back to Egbeda, our high school days to Uni. His nick then was fear no skirt , he got 4 of my GF's preggie, dated the widow of chief ABC, bla bla. . .
Coogar: Wow,I remember that nick. "Dayo the baddest guy", he chuckles. I even lost one or two chicks to him,his game was so slick.No sweats.He was just being a guy then,having fun,testing the waters. Now he's a man,changed,responsible and matured. He's good now. Relax"

Double standards. Hypocrites. Pharisees.

@ifyalways, peace unto ur soul!


I still don't know why gun can't be legalised cos I need to blast off somebody's head!


Nansense!

wetin funny pass for this story be say nowadays almost every gal na 'ever-ready' .

ifyalways: So,its 2020 and I'm at a wedding reception. The groom is Dayokanu and the bride is Coogar's cute,innocent lil' sister.

I am coogars guest so I sat beside him. I couldn't make the church service though and only saw the groom at the reception. I became dizzy and couldn't believe my eyes. Dayo from Egbeda? Dayo aka "fear no skirt" ? Dude banged anything in skirt! 3 of my hood girls told me they had DC's for him at different times, I personally remember seeing him hanging out with about 6 different ladies at various times. Fortunately, I never banged him.

So,I call my friend Coogar and say, " Is that your sister's hubby or the best man?"
Coogar: Yes,that's him.The groom.
Me: Dayo?
Coogar: Yeah. You know him?
Me: ooh dear,I do. All the way back to Egbeda, our high school days to Uni. His nick then was fear no skirt , he got 4 of my GF's preggie, dated the widow of chief ABC, bla bla. . .
Coogar: Wow,I remember that nick. "Dayo the baddest guy", he chuckles. I even lost one or two chicks to him,his game was so slick.No sweats.He was just being a guy then,having fun,testing the waters. Now he's a man,changed,responsible and matured. He's good now. Relax"

Double standards. Hypocrites. Pharisees.

That's the world we live in bishes.

ifyalways: So,its 2020 and I'm at a wedding reception. The groom is Dayokanu and the bride is Coogar's cute,innocent lil' sister.

I am coogars guest so I sat beside him. I couldn't make the church service though and only saw the groom at the reception. I became dizzy and couldn't believe my eyes. Dayo from Egbeda? Dayo aka "fear no skirt" ? Dude banged anything in skirt! 3 of my hood girls told me they had DC's for him at different times, I personally remember seeing him hanging out with about 6 different ladies at various times. Fortunately, I never banged him.

So,I call my friend Coogar and say, " Is that your sister's hubby or the best man?"
Coogar: Yes,that's him.The groom.
Me: Dayo?
Coogar: Yeah. You know him?
Me: ooh dear,I do. All the way back to Egbeda, our high school days to Uni. His nick then was fear no skirt , he got 4 of my GF's preggie, dated the widow of chief ABC, bla bla. . .
Coogar: Wow,I remember that nick. "Dayo the baddest guy", he chuckles. I even lost one or two chicks to him,his game was so slick.No sweats.He was just being a guy then,having fun,testing the waters. Now he's a man,changed,responsible and matured. He's good now. Relax"

Double standards. Hypocrites. Pharisees.

even you would agree a man that got 12 women pregnant is not the same as a woman that aborted 12 times. haba, men don't carry wombs so what's the comparison?

it's the world we live in. a female virgin at 25 would be applauded. a male virgin at 25 is an object of ridicule by the society. the general conception is he must be impotent to have abstained so long.