I A̶̲̥̅♏ a 32 years old young man married to a 27+ year old banker. The challenge is really killing!
Everyday, I'll have to wake our little daughter by 4.30am, do our 15min quiet time, and also (sometimes) have to wake the mum.., before cooking everyone's meal. Finally, I'll have to boil water for both to take their bath, before mine. Then I dress our daughter for skul and take both to their respective places.
I'm not really complaining, but the problem comes when ♍¥ wife comes back,mostly by 9.30pm (no thanks to Zenith Bank) and is so fagged out that she seats on the couch for about an hour, looks for what to eat and goes to bed.., with no show for me.
This has been going on for the past two and a half years. Its really difficult and getting to "tire" me. What can I do?

Lol @ no show!
Have you both talked about it?
Honestly, I have no idea what to say. What of weekends?

This is now the norm, and I really HAVE to have a change.

Chaircover,efemena,greatgod,yellow pawpaw,kanwulia,where una dey.eyin e- marriage counsellors,over to you.won gbede o


ewa dasoroyi


@ op no worry,capable hands are soon comming to give you advice,i don call them.them dey come.chilax

kulyie: Chaircover,efemena,greatgod,yellow pawpaw,kanwulia,where una dey.eyin e- marriage counsellors,over to you.won gbede o


ewa dasoroyi


@ op no worry,capable hands are soon comming to give you advice,i don call them.them dey come.chilax

Please, when dey come, helepu me tell dem that I need their help on the abuse thread. E get one babe wey need counselling there.
TenQ

alutacontinua: Lol @ no show!
Have you both talked about it?
Honestly, I have no idea what to say. What of weekends?

Some week ends, I'm lucky. Some, I'm not.

The problem is that ♍¥ wife actually tries her best, but the Job is so stressful.


Sometimes, she would have to go on saturday for half a day. And ♍¥ job mostly blossoms on weekends.

maishot:

Some week ends, I'm lucky. Some, I'm not.

The problem is that ♍¥ wife actually tries her best, but the Job is so stressful.


Sometimes, she would have to go on saturday for half a day. And ♍¥ job mostly blossoms on weekends.

Ehhrrrmmm, as kulyie said, lemme also siddon dey look....my aunties in the house would soon be here!

But one quick question, can't you pple quickly steal some show dt time you wake up, you know, very early in the morning...

alutacontinua:

Ehhrrrmmm, as kulyie said, lemme also siddon dey look....my aunties in the house would soon be here!

But one quick question, can't you pple quickly steal some show dt time you wake up, you know, very early in the morning...

We do sometimes.


But it only makes me more hungry for more.
I really need a lasting solution. Not a 'quickie'.

A serious issue indeed. Waiting eagerly for the 'elders' to come thrash this out.

@ op. Mehn.. You have really tried. For you to seek advice gives the impression that irrespective of being starved, you haven't looked outside. Hope I'm guessing right

fasho01: A serious issue indeed. Waiting eagerly for the 'elders' to come thrash this out.

@ op. Mehn.. You have really tried. For you to seek advice gives the impression that irrespective of being starved, you haven't looked outside. Hope I'm guessing right

True. But I came here because ♍¥ patience is really running thin. (I pray for grace, everyday)

This christmas break, collect a one year supply, get it off your system. If symptoms becomes serious, and you love your marriage, there's a drug but you will have to ask your doctor, I don't want to say it here.

@ op, that's the price you will have to pay so long your wife remains with the bank. My advice, the both of you should really sit down during the weekend, probably on Sunday and really talk. Can she save some money from the bank and start a small but lucrative biz. Being determined to live a simple life and have more time for the family should be the motivating factor here. This way, the income coming in may not be as much as it was while she was still in the banking sector but with your own income pulled together, there will be just enough to put food on the table and take care of other basic needs and more importantly, there will be more time for the family, especially for your little girl. Waking her up @ 4.30am is DAMN too early. She needs quality time from both her daddy and mum to grow up well.

This is why couples are adviced t set out a particular day which is mutually acceptable, as their day of romance..for just d 2 of u.
On dat day u do something romantic..n eventually end up in bed, either f sex or even if its cuddling..dis enables u keep d fire alive
Maybe o.p, u should give that a try..

If everyone reasoned like me , working in a bank should be just a stage in life . Though many do dream of making it to the management cadres n beyond , it should be noted that whatever you achieve to the detriment of your family is pure vanity.
.
I believe there was a time you enjoyed the relationship , talk her into planning for retirement or let your sundays be as romantic as possible (once a week should be just fine)
Or

if you have the heart , do the mirror effect (though your kid may suffer a while but its for the greater good)

Kulyie and others, u don't hv to be married to give advice on family matters.
Its all about interest. The advantages r numerous. I started r/ship counselling in secondary school(no boyfriend as at that time).
My marriage is very young but some pple think I'm way too old in marriage. Like I said,its interest.
And u pple r very good in giving advice but u guys don't know it. So make una no stop,abeg.

Poster, sowrie u hear.
Marriage especially during d early time is very challanging. U r exceptionally good cos I can confidently beat my chest that most men won't do what u r doing and for this long.
My questions r these;
Is ur woman contributing more to d running of d home or u r d one who bears most of d heavy weight?
Do u hv household gadgets in ur house like washing machine and co to help ease off some burden?
Is ur wife submissive or arrogant(no respect for u?)
What kind of work do u do?
Ur info is very scanty so pls fill in d gap so pple can give u unbiased advice d best way they can.

Now as for the sex thing, its not only ur family, I also hit d sack immediately I finish eating. Hubby does so too. But sometimes we wake up at midnite and do d needful. Then when we r at home,we make up for d lost time by doing a lot of things together.

Still yet, ur wife has to know she has a family and not married to her work( why I asked some questions). On an off day, how do u guys spent it? Does she make up for the lost days?
I can't really say much now until u supply d missing links.
All d best.

Waking a baby by 4:30 is damn too early.i know getting another job in naija is not beans (of which so many Nigerians dont know how to look for a job)but must she continue in the banking sector.
Not just about s ex alone but its way too stressful for you all
Op you have to think outside the box in this case

maishot: I A̶̲̥̅♏ a 32 years old young man married to a 27+ year old banker. The challenge is really killing!
Everyday, I'll have to wake our little daughter by 4.30am, do our 15min quiet time, and also (sometimes) have to wake the mum.., before cooking everyone's meal. Finally, I'll have to boil water for both to take their bath, before mine. Then I dress our daughter for skul and take both to their respective places.
I'm not really complaining, but the problem comes when ♍¥ wife comes back,mostly by 9.30pm (no thanks to Zenith Bank) and is so fagged out that she seats on the couch for about an hour, looks for what to eat and goes to bed.., with no show for me.
This has been going on for the past two and a half years. Its really difficult and getting to "tire" me. What can I do?

You nor get Job ni , or is your own job not demanding?

hhmmm, poster May GOD help you. The tables are turned and you are now grumbling because you are doing what a FATHER is supposed to do to his Child? taking care of her?
You say your wife is 27 yrs and works mostly 6 days a week to "support & be a helpmeet" to you abi? I suppose you dont earn as much as she does otherwise you would have asked her to resign and look for another job or start a business.
from your previous posts i see you are "A YOUNG MAN" who spends his free time s h a g g in g other babes/scheming to s h a g whilst his wife spends 6 days of the week toiling and working her behind out to be the loving and supportive wife to you. She's wasting the best of her youth and prime with a cheating lazy behind like yourself.
Here's an advise, next time you feel h o r n y, think with your brain rather than your "winky" about how to supplement your income to ease the pressure of your wife so that that way, when your income is boosted, your wife can afford to leave the banking industry and be at your beck and call tendering to the demands of your loins.

but @ least u are okay with d income? in life u can never eat ur cake and have it.There's something called opportunity cost or alternative forgone in economics. apply it to d current situation in ur marriage.
It's all about priority, I guess u were one of those guys searching for an independent woman!
later bro!

keepingmum: hhmmm, poster May GOD help you. The tables are turned and you are now grumbling because you are doing what a FATHER is supposed to do to his Child? taking care of her?
You say your wife is 27 yrs and works mostly 6 days a week to "support & be a helpmeet" to you abi? I suppose you dont earn as much as she does otherwise you would have asked her to resign and look for another job or start a business.
from your previous posts i see you are "A YOUNG MAN" who spends his free time shagging other babes/scheming to shag whilst his wife spends 6 days of the week toiling and working her behind out to be the loving and supportive wife to you. She's wasting the best of her youth and prime with a cheating lazy behind like yourself.
Here's an advise, next time you feel h o r n y, think with your brain rather than your "winky" about how to supplement your income to ease the pressure of your wife so that that way, when your income is boosted, your wife can afford to leave the banking industry and be at your beck and call tendering to the demands of your loins.

Hmmm, this is a twist! Its easy to think the poster is the victim here without looking at what the woman is also going through!

whoa!!! I never knew Maishot was married! speak of surprises!

Some people are just sick. Someone is here to seek help, as far as we know he's handles his problems well and feels his strength and resolve waning and requests help. but sadists are on hand to piss on his parade I mean wtf.
O ya @Maishot, go and bring your wife let's here her own version.

maishot: I A̶̲̥̅♏ a 32 years old young man married to a 27+ year old banker. The challenge is really killing!
Everyday, I'll have to wake our little daughter by 4.30am, do our 15min quiet time, and also (sometimes) have to wake the mum.., before cooking everyone's meal. Finally, I'll have to boil water for both to take their bath, before mine. Then I dress our daughter for skul and take both to their respective places.
I'm not really complaining, but the problem comes when ♍¥ wife comes back,mostly by 9.30pm (no thanks to Zenith Bank) and is so fagged out that she seats on the couch for about an hour, looks for what to eat and goes to bed.., with no show for me.
This has been going on for the past two and a half years. Its really difficult and getting to "tire" me. What can I do?

You're married??

Not wanting to sound judgemental but you do spend a lot of time online which makes keepingmum's post very, very authentic here.

I think it goes a lot deeper than what you've presented to us but that aside, start by telling us:

~ What sort of job do you do?

~ Seeing as you're not happy with the current situation, what do you want your wife to do? (I think you probably know)

~ Give up her job? If so, for what alternative?

~ And most importantly, you must have known she was a professional intending to work along that path. What agreements did you both have prior to getting married with regards to both your careers and raising a family?

Op, where are thou....come answer the questions thrown at you. from there we'll know the next advice to give. As for your little daughter, 4:30 am is just too early. This shows you the parents ain't even putting her into consideration. Maybe while others are in class learning, she will be sleeping. You and your wife need to discuss this issue very well.
Will be back when you've supplied the needed info.

OP, My only advice is for both of you to hold your Sunday services at home.

All of you criticising the guy for spending a lot of time online. What does it change? What if his works deals with online stuff only and he got lots of free time to himself? Not everyone labours 8 to 8 like most here. Also he even stated his biz picks up only during the weekend. So would you guys face the topic and stop looking for excuses to abuse him. He asked for help not a scruntiny of his life Abeg.

I'm sorry poster but all I got from your post was the stress on the baby . . .

how can you wake a baby up by 4.30am because of your job

Can't you guys get a nanny

maishot: I A̶̲̥̅♏ a 32 years old young man married to a 27+ year old banker. The challenge is really killing!
Everyday, I'll have to wake our little daughter by 4.30am, do our 15min quiet time, and also (sometimes) have to wake the mum.., before cooking everyone's meal. Finally, I'll have to boil water for both to take their bath, before mine. Then I dress our daughter for skul and take both to their respective places.
I'm not really complaining, but the problem comes when ♍¥ wife comes back,mostly by 9.30pm (no thanks to Zenith Bank) and is so fagged out that she seats on the couch for about an hour, looks for what to eat and goes to bed.., with no show for me.
This has been going on for the past two and a half years. Its really difficult and getting to "tire" me. What can I do?

it's a very simple solution....
move closer to where your wife works & change the school of your daughter. it's not advisable to stop your wife from working just because you want late night shows. basically, this is penny wise, pound foolish.

people live far away from civilisation just because they want to save few thousands of naira in rent forgetting intangibles like distance travelled to work, fuel, stress & fatigue, having to wake up far too early, etc.

@ Coogar, you just saved me having to reply. That is exactly what i wanted to say. Stay closer to work and reduce the stress. Let your money work for you. Poor child. I just wonder what time she gets home and can play and sleep.