taiwoliu: never gave dt a tot until now...

That's what seeking other opinions does: it makes you see all angles.

The truth is that even if according to Islam it is right, is the risk to her health worth it? You cannot say your dad will use protection with this woman/women. He wont with your mum either(no offense) and multiple intimate partners just increases the risk of infection.

taiwoliu: bro, cos i am a guy doesn't mean i should support polygamy. I would welcome it if i tink its d required tin to do nt wen i tink its a case of misplaced priority.

i hope you know the effects of polygamy e.g everyday drama.is your dad ready to put up with settling fights,noise arguement every now and then without developing headache or high blood pressure.the cost of even maintaining a wife and kids gan is back breaking,talkless of 2 women and more kids.smh

kulyie: i hope you know the effects of polygamy e.g everyday drama.is your dad ready to put up with settling fights,noise arguement every now and then without developing headache or high blood pressure.the cost of even maintaining a wife and kids gan is back breaking,talkless of 2 women and more kids.smh

should we be concerned about his dad? He is making his choice as an adult. I am just concerned with the woman and the huge health risks she is about to be subjected to

kulyie: i hope you know the effects of polygamy e.g everyday drama.is your dad ready to put up with settling fights,noise arguement every now and then without developing headache or high blood pressure.the cost of even maintaining a wife and kids gan is back breaking,talkless of 2 women and more kids.smh

lucky for me, my siblings nd i r rounding off uni edu soon, only our youngest is in sec schl (final class)...

taiwoliu: he's in his 50s, marriage is over 20yrs judging by my age. Am concerned about my mum cos i dnt tink its what she deserve.

in my own opinion,the way you can help her is to set her up with a buisness in case she is not employed.open a shop or supermarket for her if you can afford it,that way,she is busy with her own buisness or customers to have time for your dads issh.put television in her shop so she will be distracted by movies so that way,she wont have time to feel sad,depressed or brooding over your dads isshh.once she goes out and comes in the evening,no time for wahalah,she is going straight to her room to sleep

taiwoliu: lucky for me, my siblings nd i r rounding off uni edu soon, only our youngest is in sec schl (final class)...

na your last born go suffer am pass because na she go dey stay at home dey endure all the nonsense.good enough all of una don old finish,so you will be out of the house.all you can do is pray for your mom and your last born.as your papa don dey plan to get second wife,just take am say you no get papa again because he go dey listen to new wife as love dey shark am

greatgod2012:


whether ceremonial or practising muslim, the fact remains that he's a muslim, and naturally human beings tend to embrass the aspect of a law or doctrine that is favorable to them. At this time, dont be surprise that your dad will know where to quote in the Holy Quaran to support his action, if indeed he really mean business.
All in all, remain calm, thank God your mum is financially independent.

in addition,the op's mom should see herself as a single mother.as far as i am concerned,she doesnt have a HUSBAND AGAIN,she has a house mate (husband)and a new tenant (wife).she should just focus on raising her last born not to be like her father

because at the end of the day her gain in that marriage is how successful ALL her kids are in different spheres.na the man go shame last last because when all the kids are ok,shame go catch am to ask or collect anything from im pikin and when them dey take care of mama,guilty conscience go dey kill am

before my grand uncle died,what op is experiencing is what his kids faced.glory be to God,they are all fine.when the kids semd money to mama,they exclude baba.baba asked why,they told him to go and meet iyawo kekere to take care of him.he reported the matter to rhe family members,he said its hia wife that is instigating his kids against him,rhe mama too had to talk to her kids before it becomes isolenu.they eventually changed but depresion don kill baba before they could start taking care of him as iyawo kekere don take od with her children

It does not have to be bad. not all polygamous homes are bad.

Op, you need to not think it is going to be problematic. Have a good attitude towards it. Talk to your mum.Let her speak her mind and from there you can be able to tell from what angle to help her.

taiwoliu: bro, cos i am a guy doesn't mean i should support polygamy. I would welcome it if i tink its d required tin to do nt wen i tink its a case of misplaced priority.

misplaced priority part.

You would definitely hate to think that the money that should be for your education is what is spent in marrying another woman.


It could be hard speaking with your dad but you need to give it a try. Let him know what you dislike about it.

But if he does provide well and he is a Muslim, it would be hard convincing him against this. He probably has friends with multiple wives, encouraging him.

I wish your family the best. Pray often. Don't start a fight.

Men tend to wander in midlife because they easily feel flattered by the often questionable attention that they receive from young ladies. He feels on top of the world and begins to find faults with the one at home just to justify being with the other one. Most times the fake love fades away.
You and your mum need to pray hard and hope for the best. Its good that your mum is independent. She should concentrate more on her work/business so she can stand alone in the event that the lady comes in. I believe that shes working quietly to save her home anyway. I pray that the lady is not one of those that have evil intentions though. May God grant you all peace and touch your dads heart to see clearly and not fall into a trap.

taiwoliu: my mum lives for her children, she prefers not to bother herself with it - and thats what is killing me, she is keeping it all inside and suffering alone.

Let your mom know that you know and you will never accept that from a man. Let your dad know how you feel about it but if your mom chooses to live her life that way then let her. I don't buy the whole "she lives for her children thing". Your dad is not even trying to keep it a secret at all so I know there's probably already a wife # 2. He just has not said it yet. Hopefully the strike gets called off soon so you can leave them with their issues