prosper86: Thanks y'all for all d advice , I have discussed with him and he has agreed to postpone d introduction till we r ready,we have agreed to date for sometime,my mom adviced that I see his mom as agreed tomorrow so as to get a feel of his family and also see our pastor.
All d same,he has agreed to also pray and we get to know each other more.

prosper86: Thanks y'all for all d advice , I have discussed with him and he has agreed to postpone d introduction till we r ready,we have agreed to date for sometime,my mom adviced that I see his mom as agreed tomorrow so as to get a feel of his family and also see our pastor.
All d same,he has agreed to also pray and we get to know each other more.

eagle,eye:

Sometimes, a guy gets to that stage where he just wants to get it over with. At that particular point and time, he just wants to settle down and move on with life.
But I have observed from experience, that women get scared of this type of guys...... thinking they have skeletons in the cupboard (some do have).
NB
I think the Op should encourage him, and at the same time tell him to date/court her for sometime, to enable them learn each other. If the guys intentions are noble, he will be very happy with this answer.
She may regret it, if she outrightly rejects him and another accepts him shortly after that.
In my case, I have dated a lot of women and found that physically it is the same thing 'down there'. But if you matured and patient, you can equally handle all women character wise.
So it got to the point, where I will first hint marriage before I start dating/courting properly. But women, will then see you as being desperate....LoL

eagle,eye:

Sometimes, a guy gets to that stage where he just wants to get it over with. At that particular point and time, he just wants to settle down and move on with life.
But I have observed from experience, that women get scared of this type of guys...... thinking they have skeletons in the cupboard (some do have).
NB
I think the Op should encourage him, and at the same time tell him to date/court her for sometime, to enable them learn each other. If the guys intentions are noble, he will be very happy with this answer.
She may regret it, if she outrightly rejects him and another accepts him shortly after that.
In my case, I have dated a lot of women and found that physically it is the same thing 'down there'. But if you matured and patient, you can equally handle all women character wise.
So it got to the point, where I will first hint marriage before I start dating/courting properly. But women, will then see you as being desperate....LoL

kenyarttar:

O boy what the fu[ck is "get it over with"? Na quickie you dey talk about abi na marriage? You just end up sounding like a truant student killing himself the night before exams to crash cram while his mates have been studying since the start of the semester. Tell him to chill the fu[ck out and date some more. It's never good to make life decisions when one has an e[rection (the relationship is still at the initial gra gra lovey dovey stage)

Efemena_xy: ^^ Well said jare.

Marriage is a serious game played by two adults. It's not about how quickly one get's married - but how long one REMAINS married.

kenyarttar:

O boy what the fu[ck is "get it over with"? Na quickie you dey talk about abi na marriage? You just end up sounding like a truant student killing himself the night before exams to crash cram while his mates have been studying since the start of the semester. Tell him to chill the fu[ck out and date some more. It's never good to make life decisions when one has an e[rection (the relationship is still at the initial gra gra lovey dovey stage)

Annie2gud: @Eagle its Qui sera sera*winkz*

eagle,eye:

Efe,
I still maintain that a time comes in a guys life that he gets fed up with all these dating and quiting, and all he wants to do then is find that serious babe who can complment him as a life partner.
I have never said that Dating or Courtship should be removed from the picture.
If the lady is ripe enough for marriage, she should try dating or courting this guy and see if they are compatible. But sometimes when a guy makes his intentions about settling down known before starting the dating, some ladies get scared and take to their heels. Only for them to stop and try to retrace their steps to the guy, but sometimes the guy has moved on to the next Lady who is ready to study him and if all things work out for both, they will become man and wife.
NB
Ladies shouldn't get scared immediately a guy mentions marriage at the beginning. I have cousins who dated for a short time with their husbands before tying the knot. And their marriage still stands after so many years.

Efemena_xy:


The only exception I see to this (taking your time), are cases of arranged marriages - which isn't the case for @OP or you either, abi?

Efemena_xy:

Irrespective of how many failed relationships and disappointments he's had in the past, there are certain things that just can't be rushed - one of which is the dating game.

Yes, it's good to know what you want as an individual, but you have to make sure the other person you've set your eyes on is good for you and likewise she, him (vise versa). Marriage is a serious life-time commitment. It's not something you jump into when the going's good and then jump out of when the going gets tough... and if you're planning on spending the next forty, fifty, sixty or even seventy years of your life with your intended, surely taking a year or two to understand him / her isn't asking too much?

To do otherwise (like Solomon Grandy - popular children's poem) is akin to judging a book by it's cover. No serious minded mature person should do that. You must scratch beneath the surface to make sure what you see before you is real.

The only exception I see to this (taking your time), are cases of arranged marriages - which isn't the case for @OP or you either, abi?

eagle,eye:

Okay ohh.
But I saw a thread yesterday about some guy who wants to break of a 7 years relationship.
Abeg, ladies in the house you can date as long as possible so that you can find all the 'skeletons' you are looking for. Like someone will say, when you date for so long you begin to see irrelevant things.
To each his/her own.

Efemena_xy:

... and if you're planning on spending the next forty, fifty, sixty or even seventy years of your life with your intended, surely taking a year or two to understand him / her isn't asking too much?

eagle,eye:


I think the Op should encourage him, and at the same time tell him to date/court her for sometime, to enable them learn each other. If the guys intentions are noble, he will be very happy with this answer.
She may regret it, if she outrightly rejects him and another accepts him shortly after that.

Efemena_xy: ^^ There's a difference between making your marriage intentions known on the first date (I still think that's odd and I for one won't take such a person seriously) and expecting your intended to quickly say "I do" within a very short period of meeting.

Yes, by all means, let your intentions be known from the start but do not expect the other person (girls especially) to jump into a wedding gown just because you're tired of the dating game.

eagle,eye:

Sometimes, a guy gets to that stage where he just wants to get it over with. At that particular point and time, he just wants to settle down and move on with life.
But I have observed from experience, that women get scared of this type of guys...... thinking they have skeletons in the cupboard (some do have).
NB
I think the Op should encourage him, and at the same time tell him to date/court her for sometime, to enable them learn each other. If the guys intentions are noble, he will be very happy with this answer.
She may regret it, if she outrightly rejects him and another accepts him shortly after that.
In my case, I have dated a lot of women and found that physically it is the same thing 'down there'. But if you matured and patient, you can equally handle all women character wise.
So it got to the point, where I will first hint marriage before I start dating/courting properly. But women, will then see you as being desperate....LoL

eagle,eye:
^^^
There is no magic formula for these kind of things.
"All things worketh together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28

Efemena_xy:

Keep religion out of it.

You're assuming I'm a Christian?

Lerrie John:
I totally agree with you eagle eye...probably one of the few ladies here who will. I met my hubby the same way too, though we knew ourselves from friends we had never met. He asked me to marry him 3 days after we met and I said yes. We starting courting and married two years later. I understand one can get suspicious and curious, but you can never fully know anybody in a month, 5 years or even a lifetime together.
@ OP, give this man a chance, don't prolong getting married too long, once you accept his proposal concentrate on understanding the sort of person he is and if you want to pass the rest of your life together. Sit down and talk about all the important issues people have said earlier. The difference between this kind of relationship where a man makes his intentions known is that you know where you are heading to, the altar. You are not in a relationship of doubts. If you feel you are not mature or ready to settle down then please decline his offer.

bisi16: my dear.. he's not ur hussy o! coz u're just a 2nd option. he sounds desperate

dad007: I KEEP ON SAYING THIS,MARRIAGE TO A GOOD MAN OR A GOOD WOMAN IS BY THE GRACE OF GOD.EVEN THE GREATEST WISDOM IN A MAN,OR IN A WOMAN MAY NOT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.I, MYSELF FOUND A LADY,A WEEK LATER,I ASK IF SHE WILL MARRY ME. AND SHE WAS SO SUPRISE,AND ASK, WHY? I TOLD HER THE TRUTH.AND THAT IS,I HAVE BEEN WITH A LADY FOR QUITE SOME YRS,YET I COULDNT REALLY UNDERSTAND HER...BUT SHE SAID SHE NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ME.OFCUSS,I REPLIED.I TOLD HER ENGAGEMENT DOESNT MEAN SHE IS MY WIFE YET...IT WAS AFTER TWO MONTHS OF OUR COURTSHIP,SHE ASK ME WHEN ARE WE GETTING MARRIED? I WAS SO HAPPY THAT I SAID NEXT MONTH.JANUARY WILL BE OUR FOURTH YEAR AS HUSBAND AND WIFE....less i 4get it is a wonderful marriage,bless two children

eagle,eye:

Efe,
I still maintain that a time comes in a guys life that he gets fed up with all these dating and quiting, and all he wants to do then is find that serious babe who can complment him as a life partner.
I have never said that Dating or Courtship should be removed from the picture.
If the lady is ripe enough for marriage, she should try dating or courting this guy and see if they are compatible. But sometimes when a guy makes his intentions about settling down known before starting the dating, some ladies get scared and take to their heels. Only for them to stop and try to retrace their steps to the guy, but sometimes the guy has moved on to the next Lady who is ready to study him and if all things work out for both, they will become man and wife.
NB
Ladies shouldn't get scared immediately a guy mentions marriage at the beginning. I have cousins who dated for a short time with their husbands before tying the knot. And their marriage still stands after so many years.