Are you bored of akpors jokes? let's bring on a new character: bro Bartholomew....

One particularly specially specific day,bro bartholomew brazened up to talk to sister bola,the woman he had been crushing on for months.he had been feeding his eyes on her beauty for as long as he knew her:her potato-like face,her long legs and big feet,her dark oily tribal marks,or shall we say tribal lines,and other tinz which i will not mention because of the little kids who are waiting to hear things they shouldn't here.
I'll be back in a sec...

As we were saying, where were we?
now i remember.he had been thinking about her for some time.he had been crushing on her,but he didn't want to get crushed by her mighty father.
Lets cut to the chase.he walked up to her has she was catwalking away(more like frogwalking away).He swallowed his fear in the form of saliva and shouted "sister bola,wait ".as if by reflex,she stopped in a way that reminds of a chicken on food alert.catching his breath,and catching up with her, Bartholomew bellowed in his cutest voice,which sounded like a five year old on trumpet,"sista bola,i wants to spoken to you".,he had thought he was blowing her mind with his english or engrish,but her reaction proved him otherwise.she grunted out "brodas bartholomew,simple english you cannot spoken!"

As we were saying, where were we?
now i remember.he had been thinking about her for some time.he had been crushing on her,but he didn't want to get crushed by her mighty father.
Lets cut to the chase.he walked up to her has she was catwalking away(more like frogwalking away).He swallowed his fear in the form of saliva and shouted "sister bola,wait ".as if by reflex,she stopped in a way that reminds of a chicken on food alert.catching his breath,and catching up with her, Bartholomew bellowed in his cutest voice,which sounded like a five year old on trumpet,"sista bola,i wants to spoken to you".,he had thought he was blowing her mind with his english or engrish,but her reaction proved him otherwise.she grunted out "brodas bartholomew,simple english you cannot spoken!"
After that came a long silence.......

WTF is wrong with dis one

Any body here?

Whoowee!somebody says something at last.who cares if his name is dummy or dullard,he has a name and he commented!

Back to story after the dubby break.
After the silence,a procession of stutters and exclamations.and then......
Six months later,they were married.they were such a perfect combination.they were just opposite sexes of the same personalty
Two weeks after the wedding ceremony,honeymoon is still on,and things are going rather well.then comes this evening,when sister bola wanted to eat something different from the constant supply of eba and ponmo stew.how about suya?
That word sent shivers down bro bartholomews back.he asked quizzically "suya?isnt that the fleshy and meaty food with some seasoning on it?" ."yes now" came the reply.he checked his pocket which also served as his only bank account.50 naira was the result of his frantic pocket searching.oh well.out he went in search of suya...

I see you bin gbagbo,you and your shitty a$.s

That bin gbagboboy is stupid. Anyway, bring Bartholomew went to the malam selling suya a stone throw from his home. He told the man he needed help,help in the form of onions. Suya to take 10%,the rest onions. The mAlam was in gracious mood.he agreed.
When he got home,his mind was running mad.he entered the house and place the package on the table.he had a plan,a plan that can only work in the dark.it was dark,but there was electricity,so the plan wasnt pulling off.just as he opened d package,electricity went off.he was relieved.

Timely indeed!bro Bartholomew swung into action. He carefully turned the side with meat to sister lola,while he faced the onions.within few minutes ,light returned. Just as they finished the package. Sister looked up to see brother's face drenched with tears.

She instantly quizzed him.(what happened,when it happened,where and why it happened...and so on)his only reply was "your love is making me cry......"