Dear cosmass
I have read your previous posts and I'm sorry you have to go through so much. Unfortunately whatever I say is just my opinion but I hope it makes you feel at least a lil better.
From what you narrated on the day you had the laptop issues and his family reactions, I feel it was all a deliberate planned act to enable them postpone the wedding n I feel his family probably dont approve of you.
Notwithstanding this man hurt you and left you without an explanation. He put a gap between you guys after two years without an explanation ( whether it be jazz, I doubt , woman, or family pressure , most probably the latter). I believe everything in life happens for a reason n the reason in this case indicates he's probably not for you. Personally I do not believe in reconciliation after break up because the trust is gone.
My advice to you as a woman to another woman my dear, is to take time off to heal. Just feel the pain, cry, scream if you have to, after which stand up, wash your face, put on make up and smile at your reflection because you are worth more and you deserve much more. Take time to nurse yourself, be you, do whatever makes you happy, no rules and regulations.
As for the closure you asked about, deep in our minds, if you take a good look, is a deep bottomless well. Think about all the times you guys spent together, good, bad, whatever, after which put them in a box , and lock it with chain and just let it drop down into that well until you can't see it anymore....I read that in a book once when I had my heart broken and it helped me forget. Now and then the box may try to resurface, any time it does just go back to your mind well and let the box fall down deepery again...
When you heal, your mind will be open to love again and you will be surprised what life has in store for you.
As for your things with him if they are things you DONT NEED just forget about them. Change your number or block any contact from his. Block any contact from his mutual friend as well, whatever your ex is going through shouldn't concern you anymore. Let his family and friends pray for him.
I hope you are able to move on with your life and you heal too dear. Lots of luck and may God bless you.

Sisi_Kill: How many times will he tell you to move on....you ask? Errr......Maybe if you aren't giving his silly friend an audience, going on about God will fight for you instead of telling the dude to mind his business, you won't be getting text messages telling to move the eff on.

Seriously, has it occurred to you that this close friend of his whose calls you wait for with bated breath to gist you about you ex's life could be telling your ex about the calls but instead of telling him he initiates the calls, he says you do? Did that not cross your mind at all?!!!

Two men have decided to use your head to play and you are still asking silly questions. The next time that eejit calls and you don't slam the phone down after telling thanks but no thanks....then you deserve whatever you get.

leave am na wen beta wahala land she go know.make she dey follow dem lik chicken

Lerrie John: Dear cosmass
I have read your previous posts and I'm sorry you have to go through so much. Unfortunately whatever I say is just my opinion but I hope it makes you feel at least a lil better.
From what you narrated on the day you had the laptop issues and his family reactions, I feel it was all a deliberate planned act to enable them postpone the wedding n I feel his family probably dont approve of you.
Notwithstanding this man hurt you and left you without an explanation. He put a gap between you guys after two years without an explanation ( whether it be jazz, I doubt , woman, or family pressure , most probably the latter). I believe everything in life happens for a reason n the reason in this case indicates he's probably not for you. Personally I do not believe in reconciliation after break up because the trust is gone.
My advice to you as a woman to another woman my dear, is to take time off to heal. Just feel the pain, cry, scream if you have to, after which stand up, wash your face, put on make up and smile at your reflection because you are worth more and you deserve much more. Take time to nurse yourself, be you, do whatever makes you happy, no rules and regulations.
As for the closure you asked about, deep in our minds, if you take a good look, is a deep bottomless well. Think about all the times you guys spent together, good, bad, whatever, after which put them in a box , and lock it with chain and just let it drop down into that well until you can't see it anymore....I read that in a book once when I had my heart broken and it helped me forget. Now and then the box may try to resurface, any time it does just go back to your mind well and let the box fall down deepery again...
When you heal, your mind will be open to love again and you will be surprised what life has in store for you.
As for your things with him if they are things you DONT NEED just forget about them. Change your number or block any contact from his. Block any contact from his mutual friend as well, whatever your ex is going through shouldn't concern you anymore. Let his family and friends pray for him.
I hope you are able to move on with your life and you heal too dear. Lots of luck and may God bless you.

HALLELUYYAH!


Now u understand!

Lyn Forward: Cosmass! Cosmass! Cosmass! How many times have i called you?
I've just read very mature advice(s) here and its the best so far. Truth be told i havent been in your shoe and wouldnt want to wear it but i honestly know how you secretly wish he comes around and how you also yearn for what his friend is doing to work out.
Babe, you know him better than we do. If you feel you can "darn" all the consequence and still wish to spend the rest of your life with him. Fine. If in the future he serves you divorce papers out of nothing hope you wouldnt regret ever marrying him.
Cosmass the way you're taking keen interest in him after all he has put you and your family through shows just how much you still care no matter the thing you tell yourself.
Please just take things slow dont rush back in so you dont rush out. The way you are updating us i just know you'll take him back but please make sure he apologizes to your parents.
As for the jazz aspect i dont believe it.
Be strong girl and hope you go through this maturely.
Cheers.

these guys wan finish her mental health u dey talk of divorce paper.
@op!run like hyundai bike!hian
if u do mistake enter dat yard,wetin ur eye....

Cosmass:

Please take it easy with the words! What did I write that you do not understand? Did I tell you I am not moving on Did you not also see where I told him that I am not interested, that I just want to be on my own and pray to my own God, that I do not need his outside help? Did you not see where I wrote, he called and texted me but I did not answer or reply, that I am quietly moving on? What is it you see that you do not understand that I have written?

Don't entertain his friend. Period!!!!!

The fact that you are talking to his friend gives him (your ex) the idea that you are trying desperately to stay connected to him. This is why he can send you a text urging you to move on.

If you need to cry and rant and pray and whatever, please do it with your own people. His friends are his friends are his friends....nothing will change that. Heck it's even because of that, I'd be highly suspicious of the friend's motivation for contacting me, if I were in your shoes. They won't come more guarded than I will be in that kinda situation.

Look I am not saying you should fight anybody, just don't wear your heart on your sleeve, especially with people close to him. All that "God will fight for me" talk to his friend gives him the impression you are still pining, hoping, praying and waiting. Hey, you can very well be all those things (no one can fault you for that....years of relationship is not an easy thing to get over) just don't say it to HIS friend because....you don't know how the message is being conveyed to your ex.

Enough of the psychological and emotional battery abeg.

Not worth it.

Space booked for insult, coming soon.

Cosmass: UPDATE

My ex fiance just called me but I didn't pick and then he texted me saying " I hope you are doing well and have moved on. Please come and collect your things. The dvd is missing, I think one of the security men stole it but I'll buy another dvd for you". I read the message but did not reply or return the call.
I called the guard to ask him if my things were still with him because he had told me he dropped my things with him, the guard said no that my ex had taken back upstairs since last week.
This call and message comes after one month. How many times will he keep telling me move on. I have not contacted him since or sent him a message yet he is texting me again after how long if I have moved on. I haven't heard from him since. One of my friends jokingly said are you sure the jazz of the close friend isn't working? We just laughed but I was advised not to go anywhere, if he wants me, he will come look for me. If he wants to drop my things, he could drop them with his guard or drop them off somewhere.

This ex of mine, Oh God, take control.

Cosmass the chances that this guy will come back because he loves you is most unlikely. Men who love and value a woman don't send such silly text over and over again. He may come back to use you as a practice babe again till he finds "the one" or he may end up with you because you are convenient and will do anything to make him happy.
You have been able to do without your things at his place for a while now so leave them there you know you don't need it.
Please throw away his security man's number and anything that has to do with him. That "person close to him" stop just stop picking his calls.
Cosmass this ship has sailed. God has fought for you by causing you to escape marriage to an immature man who does not love you.

And cosmass you are not moving on, you are still stuck on hoping he will come back and infact praying he comes back. Cosmass why can't you believe that there are 2000 better quality men out there dying to know you and you are investing in nothing.

Love will push one to believe or do anything. But the right answers and the right thing to do is usually within us. Connect with it and you will not be misled. Be patient. Some people come into our lives to teach us some lessons and when that lesson is taught and done with, they move on. Take what you've learnt from him and move on. You have to completely let him go so that a new and better man can come into your life.

Sisi_Kill:

Don't entertain his friend. Period!!!!!

The fact that you are talking to his friend gives him (your ex) the idea that you are trying desperately to stay connected to him. This is why he can send you a text urging you to move on.

If you need to cry and rant and pray and whatever, please do it with your own people. His friends are his friends are his friends....nothing will change that. Heck it's even because of that, I'd be highly suspicious of the friend's motivation for contacting me, if I were in your shoes. They won't come more guarded than I will be in that kinda situation.

Look I am not saying you should fight anybody, just don't wear your heart on your sleeve, especially with people close to him. All that "God will fight for me" talk to his friend gives him the impression you are still pining, hoping, praying and waiting. Hey, you can very well be all those things (no one can fault you for that....years of relationship is not an easy thing to get over) just don't say it to HIS friend because....you don't know how the message is being conveyed to your ex.

Enough of the psychological and emotional battery abeg.

I agree with you very much and noted!

Toyinletstalk: Love will push one to believe or do anything. But the right answers and the right thing to do is usually within us. Connect with it and you will not be misled. Be patient. Some people come into our lives to teach us some lessons and when that lesson is taught and done with, they move on. Take what you've learnt from him and move on. You have to completely let him go so that a new and better man can come into your life.

andromida:

Cosmass the chances that this guy will come back because he loves you is most unlikely. Men who love and value a woman don't send such silly text over and over again. He may come back to use you as a practice babe again till he finds "the one" or he may end up with you because you are convenient and will do anything to make him happy.
You have been able to do without your things at his place for a while now so leave them there you know you don't need it.
Please throw away his security man's number and anything that has to do with him. That "person close to him" stop just stop picking his calls.
Cosmass this ship has sailed. God has fought for you by causing you to escape marriage to an immature man who does not love you.

And cosmass you are not moving on, you are still stuck on hoping he will come back and infact praying he comes back. Cosmass why can't you believe that there are 2000 better quality men out there dying to know you and you are investing in nothing.

Lerrie John: Dear cosmass
I have read your previous posts and I'm sorry you have to go through so much. Unfortunately whatever I say is just my opinion but I hope it makes you feel at least a lil better.
From what you narrated on the day you had the laptop issues and his family reactions, I feel it was all a deliberate planned act to enable them postpone the wedding n I feel his family probably dont approve of you.
Notwithstanding this man hurt you and left you without an explanation. He put a gap between you guys after two years without an explanation ( whether it be jazz, I doubt , woman, or family pressure , most probably the latter). I believe everything in life happens for a reason n the reason in this case indicates he's probably not for you. Personally I do not believe in reconciliation after break up because the trust is gone.
My advice to you as a woman to another woman my dear, is to take time off to heal. Just feel the pain, cry, scream if you have to, after which stand up, wash your face, put on make up and smile at your reflection because you are worth more and you deserve much more. Take time to nurse yourself, be you, do whatever makes you happy, no rules and regulations.
As for the closure you asked about, deep in our minds, if you take a good look, is a deep bottomless well. Think about all the times you guys spent together, good, bad, whatever, after which put them in a box , and lock it with chain and just let it drop down into that well until you can't see it anymore....I read that in a book once when I had my heart broken and it helped me forget. Now and then the box may try to resurface, any time it does just go back to your mind well and let the box fall down deepery again...
When you heal, your mind will be open to love again and you will be surprised what life has in store for you.
As for your things with him if they are things you DONT NEED just forget about them. Change your number or block any contact from his. Block any contact from his mutual friend as well, whatever your ex is going through shouldn't concern you anymore. Let his family and friends pray for him.
I hope you are able to move on with your life and you heal too dear. Lots of luck and may God bless you.

Lyn Forward: Cosmass! Cosmass! Cosmass! How many times have i called you?
I've just read very mature advice(s) here and its the best so far. Truth be told i havent been in your shoe and wouldnt want to wear it but i honestly know how you secretly wish he comes around and how you also yearn for what his friend is doing to work out.
Babe, you know him better than we do. If you feel you can "darn" all the consequence and still wish to spend the rest of your life with him. Fine. If in the future he serves you divorce papers out of nothing hope you wouldnt regret ever marrying him.
Cosmass the way you're taking keen interest in him after all he has put you and your family through shows just how much you still care no matter the thing you tell yourself.
Please just take things slow dont rush back in so you dont rush out. The way you are updating us i just know you'll take him back but please make sure he apologizes to your parents.
As for the jazz aspect i dont believe it.
Be strong girl and hope you go through this maturely.
Cheers.

Thanks to everyone that has contributed their opinions so far and the advice is being heeded. No more picking up the calls from whoever that is close to him. I need to be me but I am doing much better. At least not picking up his call last night and not replying his message has given me an upper edge.

I will be fine.

Thanks again to everyone

Be happy you didn't marry this child. Just move on and forget all your property. If it is important to you, tell him to drop it at your house. The guy is playing games with you or he could really not want you anymore and the friend is pushing him. Fact is if someone doesn't want you anymore 1000 supporters cannot change their minds. Enjoy your life, go out and be happy. Forget the guy, forget jazz, forget that he wants you back. Just move on and don't look back. Please never pray for anyone to love you, what is the difference between you and a jazz woman in that respect? Fact is love cannot be forced. Especially when only one person is doing the loving. And please don't waste prayers on a man who is not your husband. Use all the praying energy on yourself till you find someone worth praying with and for. Notice I said "with and for".

u keep sayin 'noted' 'noted' but u dont sound like u r noting anything dow.
do not go to his hous.
i repeat, do not go to his house.
and d@ busybody friend, cut off totally from him. he has his eyes on u. if u slack, he'll sleep with you.
all these words above mine are enof for a wise fellow!

.

hispinkolo: There's something sweet and satisfying when an ex comes crawling back isn't it?The whole I was wrong please forgive me thing.
You are giving away so much by your posts,praying and waiting for the 'jazz' to disappear then he gets back to his senses begs you and you both walk into the sunset,living happily ever after,nollywood style.You even started a thread to ask bout jazz..you haven't moved on.

Your ex dumped you like a sack of potatoes,very disrespectfully,has the guts to taunt you,sending you texts to move on and you are still hanging around.Where is your self respect.you should be filled with indignation that an ordinary guy born of a woman flung you away like Alamo bitters.you are listening to the friend,even granting him audience to chat rubbish to you.Next thing will be to light candles,fast and pray for his eyes to clear.You need to understand that you deserve sooooo much more than to be treated like a refuse dump.

Is he d only man alive or is it that his blokos is gold plated?Are you scared of aging or what?As far as I know,even if im 80 there's a 90 year old baba somewhere who wants me,so no need to reek of desperation..it stinks.Imagine a guy texting a whole you and telling you to move on,kaiiii!! That's like a hot uppercut

Don't you know his friend will go back and discuss everything with him?You have to wise up,all these noted noted you are posting everywhere won't cut it.You must be strong and say NO to any form of manipulation.

He should be the one snooping around for info about u,he should be fasting and praying,sending sorry cards,kneeling at your door ,prolly holding otapiapia and threatening to swallow if you don't at least talk to him(a bit dramatic but you should get my flow).

From the things you are posting here,if he sneezes in your direction,you will run back and claim God performed a miracle and sent your husband back to you.Always remember that the hand you give to people is the hand that they will use to follow you forever.

You'd better change your hairstyle,do correct mani and pedi,buy correct baffs and start going out on dates.Im probably wasting my breath but I had to say my piece.
The sooner you start growing some balls,dignity and self confidence,the better.

Harsh but true.

Lol no you are not wasting your breath. I actually meant it when I said noted, I have put it behind me. No answering calls or entertaining any, as I said when my ex called, I did not pick up or reply his message. I am working on healing myself and as for praying, I am praying for myself. This is a new month, new things.. I have tried a lot. Also as for the age, I'm not really scared of aging, I'm not old at all I was more like angry when I saw the call and text but also laughed at it.

veave: u keep sayin 'noted' 'noted' but u dont sound like u r noting anything dow.
do not go to his hous.
i repeat, do not go to his house.
and d@ busybody friend, cut off totally from him. he has his eyes on u. if u slack, he'll sleep with you.
all these words above mine are enof for a wise fellow!

I mean it lol to the noted. And yes I am not going to his house, if he wants to drop off my things, he could drop at my house or better still dump it in the gutter. Enough of the humilation, no matter what he felt I had done. I thought True love encompasses all things. At least no infidelity was involved or whatsoever. It will be and it is well.

Remember okafors law according to coogar.
Even if you eventually see him, pls don't prove Okafor law to be true. I take God beg you .

Now, keep your head up, and start living life. What will be yours will be.
Gods grace continue to be with you. Amen

Sisi_Kill:

Don't entertain his friend. Period!!!!!

I remembered the written sentence in bold. The friend called me today, but I ignored and not even thinking of returning the call. Stronger than before, would have entertained the call but NO MORE!

Cosmass:

I remembered the written sentence in bold. The friend called me today, but I ignored and not even thinking of returning the call. Stronger than before, would have entertained the call but NO MORE!

Thank God!
No more room for heartbrakers!
Enjoy ur God given liberty!

This thread is God sent to me...

theLORDreigns: @OP, I've read through your other thread. I just have to say that you are so desperate that you'll believe anything that you're told about this guy.

Going through a break-up is never easy but if there's anything that would make it easier, it'll be avoiding anything that links you to your ex.

So he sent you a text saying goodbye & now his/your friend is coming to say he hasn't been himself, bla bla bla.

I think he has caused you enough embarrassment already. This has got to stop now & you are the only one that can stop it.


You are really making a fool of yourself & stooping too low for someone whose fiance broke up an engagement with her through a text message , I repeat through a text message? How much more wicked can he be for you realise that he isn't right for you.

Trust me, you can do better! Let your heart heal & you'll definitely get someone better. You don't need him.

When he sees that you don't send him anymore, he will have a rethink. He may even change his ways, but, by then, you'll be in full control of your emotions & whatever you do concerning him will be based on your terms.

Stand up & fight girl! Be strong & you will overcome!

'Acting-under-the-influence-of-jazz' my foot !

gbam

Cosmass:

I remembered the written sentence in bold. The friend called me today, but I ignored and not even thinking of returning the call. Stronger than before, would have entertained the call but NO MORE!

Good for you girl! Nice to hear you are stronger...just keep on being strong...xo

were u living wit him? If yes,dats y he took u 4 granted.next time plz dat let ur emotion drive u,i can imagin wat u must hv go tru cos u l0ve him.men dnt apreciate women who give up every tin d have 4 dem

I can empathise with the OP on this issue.
@OP: Most times when d best is arnd d corner, a look-alike comes 2 distort ur vision, thank God it has manifested 4 what it is, a mere counterfeit! You and all ladies out there deserve the real deal!

Cosmass:
Update

I finally called the person close to him and told him, thanks for his help and concern but I'm not interested in finding out whether and how to break the charm the girl is using on him. Asked whether he believed in prayers and God, he said he does but I know that prayer/God can take time to answer. That he just wanted me to get my man back, that in very few weeks my man would call and apologize to me but if I'm doubting and not interested, then we can just leave it.

I just told him thank you but my mind isn't at rest, finding out again and all or going somewhere. He said he is not a bad person, that he believes in prayer, that it is because I am a very nice person, he just wants to help me. I just told him, let us just be praying and wait on God. That if it is that charm, let God destroy it himself.

Have you finally moved on?
Just stumbled on your story

Wow!!
That’s all I can say
This is 2021and I hope you have moved on