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Proof That Google Is God - Religion - Nairaland

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Proof That Google Is God by umar745(m): 9:35am On Nov 29, 2013
Found this on the web and thought I share it.
Note: The views below are not mine and I do not agree with them, I do however find them interesting.


PROOF #1
Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion Web Pages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented Page Rank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

PROOF #2
Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed Web Pages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

PROOF #3
Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

PROOF #4
Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

PROOF #5
Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

PROOF #6
Google remembers all. Google caches Web Pages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

PROOF #7
Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

PROOF #8
According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism"combined.
God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfils this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods"

PROOF #9
Evidence of Google's existence is abundant.
There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. If seeing is believing, then surf over to www.google.com and experience for yourself Google's awesome power. No faith required.

Source: http://thechurchofgoogle.org/Scripture/Proof_Google_Is_God.html

4 Likes

Re: Proof That Google Is God by Nobody: 9:41am On Nov 29, 2013
So there's now a church of Google?
Re: Proof That Google Is God by theguvnor: 9:45am On Nov 29, 2013
Na wa o! Church of google
Re: Proof That Google Is God by amiskurie(m): 10:08am On Nov 29, 2013
stewpid!!
Re: Proof That Google Is God by AVmonster: 10:21am On Nov 29, 2013
All hail the Google God
Re: Proof That Google Is God by dryakson(m): 11:08am On Nov 29, 2013
Dear Google,
How can I make money without working?

1 Like

Re: Proof That Google Is God by ManhunterTM(m): 11:20am On Nov 29, 2013
Hilarious but google was created by man so the real God here is man.
Re: Proof That Google Is God by umar745(m): 11:28am On Nov 29, 2013

2 Likes

Re: Proof That Google Is God by umar745(m): 11:30am On Nov 29, 2013
Manhunter™:
Hilarious but google was created by man so the real God here is man.
he works in mysterious ways
Re: Proof That Google Is God by PAGAN9JA(m): 11:37am On Nov 29, 2013
lol
Re: Proof That Google Is God by Nobody: 11:39am On Nov 29, 2013
Perhaps in the future christians will claim Google was created on the 8th day by God grin
Re: Proof That Google Is God by umar745(m): 11:51am On Nov 29, 2013
If Google died tomorrow, I'd use Bing. If Wikipedia died, I'd shoot myself.
Re: Proof That Google Is God by Demainman1: 12:50pm On Nov 29, 2013
dryakson: Dear Google,
How can I make money without working?

Fast and pray to me your lord google

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