How smart is this man


Dad – Dear, I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son – no way..
Dad - She is the daughter of world's richest man.
Son – then its done.
(Then his dad goes to that richest man..)
Dad - I want your daughter to marry my son.
Rich man – nope
Dad: He is the COO of world bank.
Rich man – then its done.
(Then Dad again goes to president of world bank).
He asked – appoint my son the COO of the world bank.
Presido – Never
Dad: – He is the son in law of World's richest man.
Presido – then its fine.

THIS IS Smartness...!!

NOTE: THESE JOKES WERE NT WRITTEN BY ME OOO.... I ONLY COMPILED THEM FOR UR READING PLEASURE........

One day, a 7 year old boy went to visit his grandmother. Playing with
his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and
said: "Grandma, why don't you have a boyfriend now that grandpa went
to heaven?"
Grandma replied: "Honey, my TV-set is my boyfriend. I can sit in my
bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs makes me
feel good and the comedies makes me laugh. I'm happy with my it as
my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV-set, and the reception was terrible. She
started adjusting knobs, trying to get it focus.
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the
problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and
there stood his grandpa's old friend, now the grandma's minister.
The minister said: "Hello, son, is your Grandma home?"
The little boy replied: "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend!"
Husband-Wife:
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him.

1. Someone calls you at 2
a.m in
the mid-night and
ask you, are you
sleeping?
Answer: no, I'm picking
beans to cook.
2. When its raining and
someone
notices you going
out, yet they ask; are
you going
out in this rain?
Answer: no, in the next
one.
3. You're making out with
a girl,
then you start
pulling her pants then she
asks;
what are you tryin
to do?
Answer: i want to wash
them
for you.
4. They see you coming
out of
the bathroom, wet;
did you just have a bath?
Answer:
no, i fell into the
toilet bowl.
5. You standing right in
front of
the elevator on the
ground floor going to
your office,
yet they ask; going
up?
Answer: no, i'm waiting
for
my
office to come down
and get me.
6. Your boyfriend comes
home
with a bunch of
flowers, and you still ask
him; are
those flowers?
Answer :no baby, they're
carrots!
7. You're in the toilet and
you
locked the door,
someone knocks on the
door
asking; is anyone
there?
Answer: No! it is shit that
locked
the door.lol

lloooooooooll

CONVERSATION BETWEEN AKPOS AND HIS GIRL FRIEND JOY
JOY: honey do you still love me like before?
Akpos: Yes love! My love for you will never change.
joy: thats my honey. I want
you to buy me somthing.
Akpos: Just name it
joy: It's just one BB porsche.
Akpos: No problem. Just find
out the price and let me know.
joy: It's N350,000.
Akpos: Is it manual or authomatic? Is it still in a good shape, as in the
engine. Have you checked the fuel consumption too?
joy: Honey, its not a car oh, It's a phone.
Akpos: Phone?!!!!!!!!! !!!!! that means it will have a fridge, generator set,
plasma and a wardrobe, shey?
joy: Are you buying it or not?
Akpos: Please i am not oh! I can't!
joy: Helloooooo!
Akpos: Hiiiiiiiii!
joy: Dont even bother again.
I'will call Alhaji to get it for me this evening.
Akpos: Better still, call Atiku, hewill be faster.
joysad, cry): 'am goin to
delete you.
Akpos: Is your fone hanging? because I have deleted you since you
mentioned porsche

A man goes into a restaurant and orders soup. When the waiter brings
out the bowl he has his thumb stuck in the soup, but the customer
decides to let it go.
"Would you like anything else?" the waiter inquires. "We have some very
good beef stew today."
"Sounds good," says the customer. So the waiter goes off and comes back
with a plate of stew, and his thumb is in the stew. The customer is getting
angry now, but decides to hold his tongue.
"How about some hot apple pie?" asks the waiter.
"Fine," says the customer. The waiter returns with his thumb stuck in the
pie. Now the customer is really getting furious.
"Coffee?" asks the waiter, and when the customer nods yes, he hurries off.
He returns with his thumb stuck in the cup of coffee. By now the
customer can no longer restrain himself.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? Every time you've come to the
table you've had your thumb stuck in my food!"
"I've got an infection and my doctor told me to keep my thumb in a hot,
moist place."
"Why don't you just stick it up your ass?"
"Where do you think I put it when I'm in the kitchen?"

of talks in a new peace process.

TWO PRESIDENTS WANTED TO SETTLE A WAR RAGING BETWEEN THEIR COUNTRIES, SO ONE OF THEM DECIDES TO PAY THE OTHER PRESIDENT A FIRST VISIT,......
When Bill sits down, he notices three
buttons on the side of Saddam's chair.
They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first
button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches
Clinton in the face.
Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes
later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and
kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries
on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the
two countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and
kicks Clinton in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he
can't do much without them functioning well.
"I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two
weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the
two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Clinton's chair and
prepares himself for the Yank's revenge.
They begin talking and Bill presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but
nothing happens. Clinton snickers. A few seconds later he presses the
second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Clinton
roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up
again, and again nothing happens. Clinton falls on the floor in a fit of
hysterics.
"Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"
Clinton says through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad?"
Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round