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Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by Nobody: 4:48am On Jan 10, 2014 |
Dyekatana: hi everyone, been away for a while and i have missed you guys .... but i am back now and following the thread. happy new year to all you nice guys. and no i have not fallen off the wagon. not spoken to you know who ... while i've been away, been following y'alls advice and working on cactus man.. work in progress... there should be a sign in my house saying "MEN @ WORK" . no..."WOMAN @ WORK" I love you for being strong and not giving the enemy a chance . I pray you get the result you are looking for. Don't give up If you feel overwhelmed or tempted to contact the Facebook guy,just come here and draw strength It is my desire that your relationship with your husband grows stronger Stop calling him cactus man though.our words are creative.create what you want Faith calls the things that are not as though they were 1 Like |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by EfemenaXY: 8:58pm On Jul 10, 2014 |
Babymama, don't let this thread die off again. Pls come back and rejuvenate it. It's been given a second chance. |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by Nobody: 12:22am On Jul 11, 2014 |
Sad how it got mutilated |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by EfemenaXY: 12:50am On Jul 11, 2014 |
Babymama1: Sad how it got mutilated True, but it can be brought back on track. Oya do your thing girl...we're closely behind you in support. |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by Nobody: 1:15am On Jul 11, 2014 |
Efemenaxy1 Hohohoho So they mutilated your name too |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by EfemenaXY: 1:17am On Jul 11, 2014 |
Babymama1: Efemenaxy1 That is eh...I feel violated. |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by Nobody: 1:19am On Jul 11, 2014 |
Efemenaxy1: Lol Na so we see am o How the family dem dey sha? |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by EfemenaXY: 1:21am On Jul 11, 2014 |
Babymama1: We're all good sis. You and yours? |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by Nobody: 1:24am On Jul 11, 2014 |
Efemenaxy1: We dey too Little time offs here and there to spend some time with them for the Summer We are planning a family reunion and hoping it all works out All my siblings,their kids and mine and our spouses and my parents hoping to be under same roof for the first time in many years with no one missing I hope it works out that everyone can make it We need to take a family picture with everyone in it as a memorial 1 Like |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by EfemenaXY: 1:33am On Jul 11, 2014 |
Babymama1: Whoa! Sounds like a big family do. The kids will definitely enjoy it, while the parents get to catch up with each other. Sort of reminds me when we all travelled back home from the four corners of the earth for my sister's wedding in Naija. It was such a lovely, lovely, experience (sigh). But tell me something though...who's going to do all that cooking? (and cleaning)? |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by Nobody: 2:57am On Jul 11, 2014 |
Efemenaxy1: Hehehehe the married wives I guess lol |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by armyofone(m): 3:10am On Jul 11, 2014 |
That's what i heard is reigning in that part of the country now I have heard four live people talking about family reunion they are going to from Tenn to Alabama, Texas etc Una don South black americanized...lovely. I heard it used to be the Big thing for Black Americans but not sure now. Babymama1: |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 10:32pm On Jul 16, 2014 |
jennykadry: Why are some of yous against women who have decided to remain virgins until after marriage? Nobody is against them,JK. Those who are determined to be virgins should attract virgins or those who are happy to wait till the 'I do' feast. For an adult male,sex is a need. That he asks for it does not mean he doesn't love her. In the adult world,sex with consent is a highlight of a sincere and serious relationship. Just saying the fellow who gave that advice is chanting a theory that works for a tiny few. |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 10:38pm On Jul 16, 2014 |
Babymama1: Keeping yourself for your spouse only Of course,such attractions and distractions are more for the man as he becomes more successful and ages with more resources. It is about both parties realizing that fidelity is a core credo of their union and nothing that suggests it should be attempted or tolerated. Love in the nuptial context is about making a choice and working hard to find a permanent fulfilment in it. Yes,a couple must do all that is needed to keep each other fulfilled and filled! |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 10:54pm On Jul 16, 2014 |
Babymama1: Keeping friends of the opposite sex The truth is the psychology of the average man will always seek to convert friendship into what accommodates lust at one point or the other.100 percent of the men that I know will hate their women befriending men not out of distrust but for the truism that friendship will always be a vehicle for the man or men the woman relates with to desire her in an unplatonic sense even if unconfessed or not expressed. We are men,and we know what our average friends and brothers are like. There sure are exceptions as there are to all things in life,yet that will be a very very tiny minority that are lost in the millions of us. Women will always defend the innocence of such friendships as expected. Some will say "he has never shown me that he desires me" and all that thrash. Well,that he hasn't for years doesn't mean he is not interested. He may have lost his voice to uncertainty of your response or the circumstances have disallowed him. Try all your male friends and verify the truth of this truism. By the way,some men will come here to react to this contribution as a generalization. Yet,if you know them personally,try to test the 'innocent friendship with a male' idea with their own girlfriends and you will see how they truly her. A funny illustration of the desires of our 'innocent male' friends is this: babes,have you not noticed that your 'innocent male' friends always get uncomfortable when you are beginning a relationship with another man?lol Outside my sisters and brothers' babes,I do not relate with people's girlfriends and wives. Because I know the consequences for their men. Yes,no man likes his woman to have 'innocent male' friends! 1 Like |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 11:24pm On Jul 16, 2014 |
PocketEconomist: A man without a definite plan for the future is not ready for marriage, if you ask him this question, and he is stammering incoherent words, that's a red flag. A man who does not put your needs and opinions into consideration? That's another sign that he is selfish. Watch out! If your man is too possessive, always wanting to know your every move and whereabouts, that's another red flag. Abeg make una no crucify me o! This is not absolute, Na my opinion as a mam o! I've bled enough on this thread. What were you thinking on that point of being possessive and wanting to know her movement? So wrong on many grounds! You mean if I am checking on my babe to know where she is,what she is doing,how far she will be away and all of those I am being possessive? In the world of reasonable adults we call it care and responsible 'sentrying'-protection. So you leave your babe to do what she likes,go wherever she wants and stay wherever she wants even when she may not be safe,fine or even alive? My woman calls to check on me every now and then to be sure I am fine.This could manifest in wanting to know where I am,what I am doing and all those. That is not a red flag except in the eyes of idealistic teenagers. And,by the way,your recital of that litany of your cousin's oddities on here is wrong and so unnecessary. It is their life,if your love your cousin and care that much,share your thoughts,concerns and ideas for a better and progressive life with them. 1 Like |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by christybabe(f): 11:29pm On Jul 16, 2014 |
this is so educative, am so following cos I luv it, kip it coming @babymama1 |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 11:33pm On Jul 16, 2014 |
Saraha1: "Marry for compatibility and not love,love withers" hahaha wetin you talk? I want to marry for love oh. You fall in love and marry,but it takes more than love to stay married. It takes more than love to endure the trials of marriage in order to enjoy its triumphs! |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 11:37pm On Jul 16, 2014 |
PocketEconomist: Just a question on this test driving stuff, so after the test drive maybe once or twice, and you were not impressed that much, what next? If you dump her based on that grounds alone, does that show true love? How about working it out? One fundamental need of a man is sex.It is in his essence and God-given;for a woman it is affection-it can take several forms.Yes,you lose a man without sex or a capacity to assure his enjoyment of it. Every other thing na grammar. |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 11:41pm On Jul 16, 2014 |
coogar: I agree totally with you. Of course,at times if you really love it and what it needs is a slight repair,you can do that and keep it. |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 11:51pm On Jul 16, 2014 |
jennykadry: @Ihedinobi Some men will be happy with 'no test driving' if they truly want to marry your daughters-of course,some in this group will be having it elsewhere while waiting for the 'I do' feast. But most men will settle for test driving. By the way,99 percent of adult men even the so-called born again ones will ask for sex and begin acting up if denied. Yes,for the adult male sex is a need. Check what completed Adam at creation. Read up Myles Munroe's The Purpose and Power of Love and Marriage,The purpose and Power of the Men. He has some beautiful theology of sex as a need for the adult male. |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 11:56pm On Jul 16, 2014 |
byvan: People like Coogar is why I pleaded with God to deny me a daughter. Did you marry a virgin? Coogar is just being practical in ways that most ladies need to listen to him and learn even if they don't share in his philosophy of pleasure. Women love lies a lot and,unfortunately,most men will not express their candid beliefs on here. But I tell you that Coogar represents the majority,not the minority he appears to be in thy eyes. |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 12:01am On Jul 17, 2014 |
coogar: The wise will listen to you and pick the deep lessons even if they disagree with you. But for those who are the easy victims of such hypocrisy-yes,because most men think and act like Coogar than you see in their comments-they won't. You are being practical in ways that women should listen to you and guage their losses. No,they will disagree because you are not telling them the same things they love to hear that ruin so much for them. We are men,and most of us think essentially like you. Ride on. |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 12:07am On Jul 17, 2014 |
Nobody is championing an order of immorality. The naked essence of these points is a practical knowledge shared on the psychology of the average man. Now,a wise person picks this and tries to moderate it to her advantage. Coogar is in the majority I repeat. I will want my daughter to marry a virgin,but I am man enough and understand men enough to know that she will need so much to manage their venom-yes,that is what a man who claims to love you will give when refused sex. What can we do?Empower our kids and sisters with this knowledge to be watchful and careful enough to attract the very few who will be happy to stay 'zipped up' until the connubial tide. |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 12:14am On Jul 17, 2014 |
jennykadry: One of these practical pentecostal bishops,the Ghanian D-Edwards, gave a beautiful and practical sermon on the sex challenge among young people and concluded that,like a ready machine,once young people have developed and ripen sexual organs they should marry and use them. All through the Bible,the patriarchs,judges and leaders who related closely with God married early enough. Sex is so so so important to the man especially. Test driving is something very many will insist on. |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 12:28am On Jul 17, 2014 |
Babymama1: Your advice is from a woman's perspective-emotional evaluation. Well,a man gives a rational analysis of her stated facts. Most men are not raised in that culture of weighing their words and the emotional impact they have on women.So? The slightest frustration is enough to trigger such irresponsible and reckless talks-most of us men are guilty. Yet it does not mean that he doesn't love you. No woman deserves to be disrespected by her man,however most men are not that emotionally intelligent to know that such uttered words are 'disrespectful to the woman they love. I am so sure that if you ask the man about the words he won't remember ever saying them.That is how the culture and environment we were raised has made us. It takes some realization of how badly he has gone with his words for him to unlearn shooting them. In his own head,he is faithful to her,provides for her and all those,and so any words are just reactions to some other things that could have happened between them. In those cool and happy moments,let her educate the man on how he is hurting her with all the stated and every sane man will adjust. I agree the guy is being irresponsible,but given the stated,it is patience they need not separation or divorce. 2 Likes |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by EfemenaXY: 7:30am On Jul 17, 2014 |
Apolonius, you've got some very, very, insightful contributions here! Will take my time going through them, but thanks for sharing nonetheless. 2 Likes |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by ihedinobi2: 2:00pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
apolonius:Based on what do you make the claim that most men would settle for test driving? By the way,99 percent of adult men even the so-called born again ones will ask for sex and begin acting up if denied.What scientific study posted that statistic? How was the study conducted? By whom was it conducted? What factors were taken into account and why? Yes,for the adult male sex is a need. Check what completed Adam at creation. Read up Myles Munroe's The Purpose and Power of Love and Marriage,The purpose and Power of the Men. He has some beautiful theology of sex as a need for the adult male.How is sex a need? What inescapable purpose does it fulfill? How is that purpose inescapable? Where does it say that Adam was incomplete at creation? What is this theology and how did it fail to apply to Jesus and Paul? |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by ihedinobi2: 2:09pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
apolonius:Ah good. I didn't realize though that Coogar's being in the majority was an issue to debate. I already alluded to my appreciation of that fact by pointing out that sexüal immorality is one of the three things that is destroying life in this world. If it was not affecting a substantial number of people it could hardly be doing that, could it? The exact phrase in that post was "standing the world on its head". What the issue was is whether or not test-driving is a good and acceptable practice and I see no reason to accept 'yes' as the answer. I didn't see it from Coogar then and I haven't seen it from you now. So I can conclude that there is no good reason to think that test-driving as a practice should be accommodated. |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by Ngokafor(f): 2:16pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
@Apolonius great piece you have got there..welldone! |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by apolonius(m): 2:17pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
ihedinobi2: I have read your other comments directed at my post too. It is not a persuasion march nor a duel. We can theorize and champion chastity,yet it does not negate a truism that can't be falsified: the young men of today are mostly believers in test driving. And it is this crowd of young men that our girls and sisters are facing and will face. The best we can do is to prepare them with the knowledge that experience and our evaluation of reality dictate:practical knowledge,and pray for grace. That you don't believe in it does not mean many others do not believe in it too. Will you marry your girls or sisters? Have you a control over who they meet in school,church,and what have you? My points are on the psychology of the average male of today,not an indictment of puritan championing. 2 Likes |
Re: Making Love & Raising A Family by ihedinobi2: 2:18pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
apolonius: What exactly is the hypocrisy here? Again, let me get you right. Are you saying that most men consider having sex before marriage necessary to establish sexüal compatibility with their potential mates? And that they think that this is a proper conscientious practice? |
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