Goodmorning all.pls I need ur advice on this,its about my family nd it might be a bit long.I'm from a polygamous home,december 23 made it 20 year my mom died nd we live live one family with my step mom(u will only know she is mot my mom cos she is too young to give birth to us). My mom left us when we were too young nd we managed to make it to this stage in life.I love my family so much nd can do anything to make them happy.

The problem now is,our most elder brother got married 2011 nd the problem started 2012 when my big sister's child used my brother's wife's soap dish to shower nd left it outside,my brother's wife came back nd talked about it so when my big sister came back our last born who is a trouble maker told her nd she almost brought heaven down that night,she called my brother's wife all kind of names why telling my brother what his wife did nd even said she was going to slap my brothers wife,when I heard her shouting from outside the gate I thought she was talking to one of my small sisters as she was crying(well the cry is nothing cos she crys every chistmas)my brother was asking her if it was cos of his wife that will make them have problem then I asked my big sister who she was talking to like that nd if it was my brother's wife she was going to slap nd we started having promlemnd he started crying,me too started crying cos that was my first of seeing my brother cry apart from when my mom died.$y anger is,if I'm the one that said what my brother's wife said nobody wld have heard abt it or said abt it but cos its my brother's wife that said it nd the poor girl was inside scared,didn't say a word nd also looking for who to speak for her cos she cldnt speak,I talked nd I nd my big sister didn't speak for 3days.that night my big brother could not sleep till 2am,he was just walking round the compound,the following day my brother wife went to buy something nd shared for us but my big sister did not eat it nd I eat her own cos I didn't want it to remean.

Another case is,my step sister leaves with my big brother nd she has no respect for my brother's wife cos my brother told his wife nevr to beat my sister.my sister does almost all the work in the house while my brother nd his wife goes to the shop.when ever my brother is corrects or shouts at her my kid sister,everybody will hear it nd the will start doing side talk,the next thing is:my brother's wife is behide it:but my big sister nd the husband beats another of my step sister like she is their house help infact she sleeps by 12 nd weaks by 5am but u wll never hear any one talk abt it.one day my kid sister that stays with my big brother washed nd she didn't wash it well so my brother's wife talked,every body was asking what right she has to asked such question but I big sister will bring out the clothes nd ask the one that stays with her to re-wash them nd u wldnt hear a word.

The problem now is,everyone(aprt from my father)is fighting me that I suport my brother's wife nd brother that I don't want to tell them the truth which is a lie.my brother's wife has her own fault(like not doing much in her husband's place nd not doing anything at all in the village cos we cook 2gether in the village.my step mom does the cooking in the village nd she will just eat nd drop the plate cos that is what we do,4gethering that she is married to the family nd not born there nd that people will talk,though I told her not to sweep or wash plate but can help my step mom out sometimes in cooking cos I have a lot of younger ones to sweep nd wash plates)i have talked to my brother nd his wife abt the things they are both not doing right nd they said they will take correction(besides who am I to jugde them?will I take it if someone does same to me when I'm married,wll I take it?)But that is what my people want me to do when I can't even tell them their own faults cos when I do(especially my big sister)get so mad nd start talking.I told them to allow my brother's wife leave in her husband's place nd they are talking.they are all angry that he built 2houses with doing much for the family nd I told them to let it go(even though I want happy too)instead of talking abt it,when u have ur own don't give too nd that we shld always told to my brother's wife when ever we think she did something wrong(which they wldnt take)than to start gossipin nd making her an outsider but noone wants to hear that.I have told my sisters that what ever they do to my brother's wife will be done unto them nd they say Godfobid.so my people what will u advice I do cos I nd my big sister are not talking cos I said they shld allow my brother's wife live in her husband's house for more than a month now even though I'm not ready to settle unless starts telling my kid sisters to shout up or she will look into any matter the bring to her instead of joining them to say that woman is this nd that,thereby making them to grow more wings.thanks

Ol boi!
C epistle!
And on top of that no spacing!
Poster, no be everybody get good eye o!
Space ur post and add d neccessary things to make it catchy.

I stopd somewhere. Couldn't continue sha.
But I get ur jist.
Ur big bro should go and rent a house.
More problem and trouble on d way.
A house far from ur family house.
He only visits when he need to visit.
That way, he will be respected.
And ur dad should start acting like one.
He should put his house in order.

What has been his stance over all these?

Op,

Are you talking about only one brother here or two brothers?

The story is complicated, I couldn't comprehend everything. However, I think you mentioned your brother already built two houses, what

is stopping him from moving to his house away from daily family brouhaha?

haba, serious problem but more serious is your writing. I rest my case

Well sorry if its complicated,that's the mood I was,wanted the write everythin at thesame time.

My brother has his own house nd doesn't stay close to my family house.

kar bridals:
My brother has his own house nd doesn't stay close to my family house.

If he doesn't stay close to your family house, how come his wife is always having issues with your sisters?

I think the problem is that your people still feels your brothers wife is an outsider.
they need to made to understand that she is now part of the family.
you said the problem started with your big sister's child using soap meaning your big sis is married so why is she coming to cause problems in her father's house.

I don't know y,I have tried talking to her but she wldnt hear any of those.the day someone came to tell her what she was doing wrong,she washed the person with her mouth.I'm not saying my brother's wife is a saint but its better we tell her what she did wrong that telling everyone before the peron invovled gets to know what is going on from side talk besides two people can settle their differences with other person getting to know nd we must not tell her what to do all the time in her husband's house cos I don't think any woman can take such.

doxime: I think the problem is that your people still feels your brothers wife is an outsider.
they need to made to understand that she is now part of the family.
you said the problem started with your big sister's child using soap meaning your big sis is married so why is she coming to cause problems in her father's house.

I'm feeling so bad for this SIL of yours o, I don't want to imagine what she must be going through in her matrimonial home right. Lord is her guide.

If your family is a type that strictly adheres to (yeye) culture, I'm afraid your brother's wife is in no position to ask your half sister to dishes and laundry. If the girl offers, she can allow her to do them. If the chores are not well done, there is a way she can correct the child without making it look like she's nagging. She can even redo the dishes in her presence and show her how its properly done.

That said, since you're the only one in your family that seems to have the poor woman's back at the moment. You should be the one to advise her to be very careful especially when it comes to making big deals out of non-issues such as soap dish and dishes not properly done. She should reduce the chores she makes her SIL do, if the girl is reasonable enough, she'll offer to assist when she see she's overwhelmed.

As for your family fighting you for not joining to wage war on somebody else's daughter, don't let them get to you. Stand your ground and do what's right. Pray you don't marry into a family like yours (sorry to say)

Well thanks but I have told my sister inlaw all those thins already.

dominique: I'm feeling so bad for this SIL of yours o, I don't want to imagine what she must be going through in her matrimonial home right. Lord is her guide.

If your family is a type that strictly adheres to (yeye) culture, I'm afraid your brother's wife is in no position to ask your half sister to dishes and laundry. If the girl offers, she can allow her to do them. If the chores are not well done, there is a way she can correct the child without making it look like she's nagging. She can even redo the dishes in her presence and show her how its properly done.

That said, since you're the only one in your family that seems to have the poor woman's back at the moment. You should be the one to advise her to be very careful especially when it comes to making big deals out of non-issues such as soap dish and dishes not properly done. She should reduce the chores she makes her SIL do, if the girl is reasonable enough, she'll offer to assist when she see she's overwhelmed.

As for your family fighting you for not joining to wage war on somebody else's daughter, don't let them get to you. Stand your ground and do what's right. Pray you don't marry into a family like yours (sorry to say)

karbridals:
Well sorry if its complicated,that's the mood I was,wanted the write everythin at thesame time.

My brother has his own house nd doesn't stay close to my family house.

your family should just learn to let the couple have their privacy and peace