This article just explained what has been itching me each time I visit the Romance section and see that alot of threads talk about what we ladies do. Its becoming a norm here .

Yeah, an epistle but educative.



I have noticed that you guys (and most dating advice sites, actually) focus a lot on things women do, but do you send men emails to help them with things? It just seems like women are somehow always the problem. It should go both ways to help a relationship, shouldn’t it?
Why is it that women are the ones who have to work on making the relationship better?
Believe it or not, when I started out with the whole dating advice thing, I worked with men exclusively.
In fact, my thought was, “My god… guys REALLY need dating advice… women have this all figured out but the guys… wow… this is heart-breaking.”
The vast majority of men just want to meet a girl they can fall in love with who will love them back. They want to meet that one special girl and settle down with her. The vast majority do not want to be the player-type that’s crammed down everyone’s throat by the media.
As for being into dating advice, men seek it desperately. The dating advice for men niche is ENORMOUS compared to the woman’s dating advice niche.
The thing is – men seek their dating advice very privately. They don’t want anyone to know they are seeking dating advice help. Men would be less embarrassed having their mother walk in while they were looking at porn than having someone they know find out they sought dating advice.
Why?Because seeking dating advice help to most men feels like a defeat… like they are some kind of loser.
A fraction of men are more open minded and look at learning to be great in relationship as just another life area to be educated in, like fitness or finance. But this is few and far between.
Make no mistake though –men are terrified of being trapped in a bad relationship, not being good enough, not being attractive to the woman they want, ending up alone or being cheated on by an ungrateful/unfulfilled spouse. Men have these fears and desperately want to know how to never end up in that place.

In today’s society and culture, it is readily acceptable to blame a man or hate a man or condemn a man… simply because he’s a man. There’s this air that men have bad intentions and are out to take advantage of women.
The truth is that only a very, very, very small percentage of men are scumbags in the dating world. Most are great guys who just want to love and be loved… but women have been so traumatized by myths about what is going on in a man’s mind that they suspect that these good men have bad intentions.
There are forums all over the internet of men privately and anonymously pouring their heart and soul out there, hoping that someone can answer their dating question.
They talk about their insecurities. They talk about how they don’t feel women are attracted to them or even notice them. They talk about how painfully shy they are or how they are deathly afraid of rejection. They talk about how no matter how hard they try, they can’t seem to get a girlfriend or make their girl happy.
And these aren’t bottom-of-the-barrel guys. These aren’t losers at life or freaks or weirdos. The majority of them are normal people who just want to be happy – with themselves and with their relationship… just like you.

My point is that most men really do want to be as good as they can be in relationship, but also don’t know where to turn for help and would never want the world to know that they looked for help. We all value relationships with therightperson, but men have a lot more trouble ponying-up when they need help… but men do care.
As for A New Mode and the Ask a Guy column, the reason why I talk about what a woman can do to improve her relationship or what she could be doing wrong is simple: This is a female audience and, in the end, you only get to control one side of the relationship–yourself.
It’s not that anyone is to blame – blame doesn’t get anyone anywhere. No progress or improvement started with blame.
.....................

Since you can only control yourself and since you are only half of the relationship equation, the best you can do is to be the best you can be on your half. 9 times out of 10, that’s enough: your improvement spurs improvement in the overall relationship and it’s an upward spiral. You can be the catalyst that starts the positive momentum in the relationship – by putting in better energy, you get better output.
As human beings, we’re all in this together. Yes, there are bad men. And there are bad women. The majority of humans are good though. And loving. And desire love.
In terms of advice to women or to men… my particular brand of advice could be boiled down to this: Find happiness within yourself and your life fully FIRST and relationships will never be a problem for you.

Hope that helps,

Eric Charles


http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/dating-advice-girls-fault/

…

And somehow you expect us to read all this? Babe, we have jobs. Lol.
Anyway to answer your question, do you honestly think there are more single guys than single girls out there? The majority needs the advice the most, and I don't see any man in my church having a prayer point for a bride.

They tend to code their dating advice if at all they seek for one because they don't want to appear weak.
some of them dey die go emotionally, yet them go dey form superman.
.
.
.
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speak up and seek advise guys, in an emotional issue, dey nor dey see superman.

Sijo01: They tend to code their dating advice if at all they seek for one because they don't want to appear weak.
some of them dey die go emotionally, yet them go dey form superman.
.
.
.
.
speak up and seek advise guys, in an emotional issue, dey nor dey see superman.

Well said dear. Their egos are becoming annoying

cos they are girls in a man's world

Hmm...Ladies will never change, they always start every problem in a relationship mostly.
They have a flexible mind & many of them are so daft so to say.

It's always been the girl's fault even from the beginning of time - Eve.


It's merely history repeating itself.

brb

Dannylux: It's always been the girl's fault even from the beginning of time - Eve.


It's merely history repeating itself.

Going with your point, who initiated the idea of the sin? A man or a woman?

Nonso23: Madam skydeep has successfully opened a thread for a 'females vs males' e-war.

Let me start polishing my shield... nah, I'll pass.

e-war?.......that's certainly not it. what she stated up there is an obvious attitude exhibited by some guys. Just as "Anslem stated: I don't see any man in my church having a prayer point for a bride". have you seen any @Nonso?. Some prefer to die in silence than to seek for an emotional guidance/counsel.

Dannylux: It's always been the girl's fault even from the beginning of time - Eve.


It's merely history repeating itself.

love diz dude!

I hope this doesn't turn into a battleground between the males and females.



By the way,I wonder which side of the divide Mr.Antelope will stand.

Let us all agree to disagree..
Men are scared and women aren't making it easier too.. most women are very insecure that they mostly double date or sleep around..
Women have d highest degree of mood swing.. some women might love a guy but their behaviour will show otherwise, you will even be thinking they are cheating on u.. while some are actually cheating for real..
Final bullet: Women are the most unpredictable human being on earth. They should be feared and I believe it is their fault to a greater extent.
Sijo01, am still sorry, accept my apology and say something

Sijo01:


e-war?.......that's certainly not it. what she stated up there is an obvious attitude exhibited by some guys. Just as "Anslem stated: I don't see any man in my church having a prayer point for a bride". have you seen any @Nonso?. Some prefer to die in silence than to seek for an emotional guidance/counsel.

That's not true jor, its only because men have more important things to worry about and that's the one job God gave the woman to do, which is to keep the relationship or home. Fine, we would help you from time to time but its all your fault if it goes south, you can fully blame us when you don't see food on the table, so you better listen to those advice while we take the 'Hustle 101' class.

anselm791:

That's not true jor, its only because men have more important things to worry about and that's the one job God gave the woman to do, which is to keep the relationship or home. Fine, we would help you from time to time but its all your fault if it goes south, you can fully blame us when you don't see food on the table, so you better listen to those advice while we take the 'Hustle 101' class.

In other words, abusive relationship is the woman's fault?

skydeep:
Going with your point, who initiated the idea of the sin? A man or a woman?

A woman. Eve was the first to disobey God by submitting to the devil.

anselm791:

That's not true jor, its only because men have more important things to worry about and that's the one job God gave the woman to do, which is to keep the relationship or home. Fine, we would help you from time to time but its all your fault if it goes south, you can fully blame us when you don't see food on the table, so you better listen to those advice while we take the 'Hustle 101' class.

.... you're not serious.
Will you be able to take the Hustle 101 class when you're not emotionally stable?

Dannylux:


A woman. Eve was the first to disobey God by submitting to the devil.

And the Devil is a woman?

Nonso23:

He's not a man either

So why blame the female gender alone? Why not blame the both since the Devil is neither the two sexes?

skydeep:
And the Devil is a woman?

The Devil isn't mortal. There is a difference.

Dannylux:


The Devil isn't mortal. There is a difference.

We should not even start from the stone age because we can still change things presently. The men should not point accusing fingers on us always like we are the villians in this world. To an extent, they blame us for having female children when the fault is from them

skydeep:
In other words, abusive relationship is the woman's fault?

There I have to admit that a few men behave like animals, but most of these men that abuse their spouse are jobless and can't provide for them, so they take out their frustrations on them, now what they need is not a relationship advice but how to hustle advice. Take out the idleness from his mind and out goes the beast in him.

Sijo01:

.... you're not serious.
Will you be able to take the Hustle 101 class when you're not emotionally stable?

Sure, unlike women, men are very much in control of everything including their emotions, and since we're talking about the devil, you ever wonder why the devil had to wait for Adam to go and hustle before he came to tempt Eve?

skydeep:
We should not even start from the stone age because we can still change things presently. The men should not point accusing fingers on us always like we are the villians in this world. To an extent, they blame us for having female children when the fault is from them

The blame for birthing female only is simply being too conservative. lol. I learnt there are natural ways to choose which you wanna have?

I agree, both genders should share a portion of the blame but again all things can't be equal. The larger portion still goes to the female.

As regards the question on the topic, It is not always the fault of the woman/girl, but it's a lot more so than it is the fault of the man.
Here are a few points;

- women are creatures of emotion. Only about 3% of the decisions y'all make is logical, the remain 97% is mainly sentiments based on how you feel you should be treated.

- I hardly ever hear a man say, "I want to be treated like a king"... But women churn out the phrase, "I should be treated like a queen" more so.
This is why I think y'all over-rate yourselves too much, cos truthfully, a good man can tell when a woman deserves to be treated like a queen and unfortunately, these 'queen' nominees are quite few.

- attitude! Yes attitude!
The moment a woman doesn't get what she wants or have her way, she resorts to calling men all sort of derogatory names.
For example, during an argument between a man and his spouse...a time comes when the woman in an attempt at gaining the upper hand, begins to refer to her spouse as acting like a child, or being immature.
She does this for no reason, other than the fact that her man has a stronger argument but her 'pride' won't let her admit it.

- now it is a known fact that women don't like being taken for granted. Y'all feel that just for the reason of having a va.gi.na, men are supposed to kiss your as.ses whether you deserve it or not. This is a delusion from the pit of hell!
Yea, men have egos but what the nazi-feminists and pro-feminists don't understand is that trying to create equality is a lost battle. The world has being made to accomodate a man while the woman remains a companion or helper, this is the way God designed it. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH EGO!

- the availability of a woman is by far outweighed by the availability of a man, forget them damn statistics.
You see, a woman's biological/reproductive clock starts ticking the moment puberty sets in. A medical study I once read states that, "A woman is born with all the eggs she'll ever have in her life, and these eggs die off yearly. A man on the other hand doesn't stop producing sperm eggs until he's well into the late 60's."
Now going by that info, it's safe to say that y'all are needed to start a family as soon as possible (and try to stick with it), probably more so than men.

- the men vs. women factor is entirely orchestrated by women, this is a known truth.
For every time a man gets antagonistic towards a woman, a woman is being antagonistic 5x already elsewhere.
This is also related to the 'emotional nature' of women.

- this final point, which is not a point really but just a summary of everything above, deals with the ego-trips of both men and women.
Men are smart, women are smarter!
Men don't like to admit it, and women don't know that most men actually prefer they think this way.

This is why there will always be a battle of the sexes, I personally find it all amusing anyway.
Faults can come from both sides, but most of the time when it comes from a woman...she goes on an all out emotional tussle for supremacy because y'all know that physically you don't stand a chance.

Note -
All points and assumptions above are valid for but not restricted only to people in a 'healthy' relationship.
Cases of physical abuse, ra.pe, criminal attitude towards women, etc, is exempted!