Have you judged wrong
Have you ever been so wrong??

i was one of these that made comments on that but you ll have to break it down and explain what you meant about being wrong so ppl ll know how to advice you really

you hav to accept that u made a mistake. . . there is nothing wrong in being wrong

whatever happens u have to make the best of the situation

yup been in that boat before. Talk to him asap before its too late.

How i was wrong! it was impossible given the situation to marry him, major visa issue, major stress, no time to talk things over as his mum was here, major cultural issues, now after 3 days i realise after how much he and i am hurting how wrong i was. I understand nigerian love is displayed differently than uk love but it doesnt mean it isnt felt as deep. Whilst I thought he couldnt love me now no more it is obvious is is trying to find a way and i realise how wrong i was.

um what makes you think you were "so wrong" about him?

i now know he really loves me, it wasnt the visa, which i had to be sure about, the hurt in his eyes tells me, i was so wrong, i dont regret the decision though I had to be sure. I had ro be sure.

bridget007:

i now know he really loves me, it wasnt the visa, which i had to be sure about, the hurt in his eyes tells me, i was so wrong, i don't regret the decision though I had to be sure. I had ro be sure.

Lmao. As a Yoruba woman I can tell you, we're very good actors

Like he'd tell you that he wants you for a visa. Oh well I wish you luck sha.

KarmaMod:

Lmao. As a Yoruba woman I can tell you, we're very good actors

Like he'd tell you that he wants you for a visa. Oh well I wish you luck sha.

OMG, that was funny

bridget007:

i now know he really loves me, it wasnt the visa, which i had to be sure about, the hurt in his eyes tells me, i was so wrong, i don't regret the decision though I had to be sure. I had ro be sure.

As long as u're sure and u hav no regrets, thats a good thing
the next step is to make him understand tho. . . if your relationship is to have a chance

@karmamod KMAss, I do know, but after 18 month he aint that good an actor lol!

bridget007:


now I just aint going to get married like perhaps some yoruba women would just because he lived abroad,

Should I be insulted by this remark? I do know that we don't need a PHD to know NOT to get pregnant for some unstable illegal in the first place

Just syaing that whole "the hurt in his eyes" is not enough to just run and believe he wont abandon you and your family again. I can easily pull off "hurt in my eyes" and be laughing on the inside as well

I am sorry did not mean to insult anyone, I just know of women in nigerian culture who are desperate to marry. Even with child he has to deserve me I believe.

How come he has to "deserve you" for you to marry him but not for him to knock you up?

bridget007:

I just know of women in nigerian culture who are desperate to marry.

Isnt that most womenreally? In any culture? I know of white americans who have been planning their weddings since they were 12.

I have never judged a man ENTIRELY wrong.
ON the other hand, i have judged a man, he convinced me that i was wrong to judge him that way and then at the end, he was exactly how i judged him to be.

NOT ME never desperate to marry after divorce

May God help Nigerian men. . . .

We live in a world where a man is judged by the colour of his passport NOT the content of his character.

j-girl:

I have never judged a man ENTIRELY wrong.
ON the other hand, i have judged a man, he convinced me that i was wrong to judge him that way and then at the end, he was exactly how i judged him to be.

Been there, Done that love. I am with you 100%. The thing is in life we must give pple the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, they always prove themselves right, thus my new mantra: Guilty until Proven Innocent,

CodeRED:

Been there, Done that love. I am with you 100%. The thing is in life we must give people the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, they always prove themselves right, thus my new mantra: Guilty until Proven Innocent,

Giving people the constant benefit of the doubt, will get you in some deep mess. Sometimes you have to go with you intuition.

CodeRED:

Been there, Done that love. I am with you 100%. The thing is in life we must give people the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, they always prove themselves right, thus my new mantra: Guilty until Proven Innocent,

I love that mantra. I love it especially when they all try to prove girls wrong and then end up being like just the other guys.
It's even more hilarious when my best guy friend tries to conform to what other guys ideally are. That's the only guy on the face of this earth that has my back 100%. It's a pity that other guys are nothing like him. From the very very first time i talked to him, I just knew he was different from the rest and he's still hasn't changed till today

j-girl:

I love that mantra. I love it especially when they all try to prove girls wrong and then end up being like just the other guys.
It's even more hilarious when my best guy friend tries to conform to what other guys ideally are. That's the only guy on the face of this earth that has my back 100%. It's a pity that other guys are nothing like him. From the very very first time i talked to him, I just knew he was different from the rest and he's still hasn't changed till today

I can attest to that highlighted portion of "scripture".

Yea I know, and it makes it even more hilarious when they try so hard, thinking they have it down-packed , fools,

On a more lighter note though, I am convinced now, after so many years, that I may have judged someone terribly wrong. looking back, am thinking of a unique way to make ammends . What chat think?

CodeRED:

I am attest to that highlighted portion of "scripture".

Yea I know, and it makes it even more hilarious when they try so hard, thinking they have it down-packed , fools,

On a more lighter note though, I am convinced now, after so many years, that I may have judged someone terribly wrong. looking back, am thinking of a unique way to make ammends . What chat think?

You don't even understand the half of it.
Just go to the person and apologize. If the person is half the man or woman that he/she should be, they would understand why you judged them that way. It's hard though to realize you have been wrong.

onyinye2:

Giving people the constant benefit of the doubt, will get you in some deep mess. Sometimes you have to go with you intuition.

Oyinye honey, you are so right

j-girl:

You don't even understand the half of it.
Just go to the person and apologize. If the person is half the man or woman that he/she should be, they would understand why you judged them that way. It's hard though to realize you have been wrong.

Girl easier said than done. But my sister promises to accompany me. Funny though, she never liked the individual ,  But I will make it right. Afterall, I am being the bigger person here. The worse they can do is reject my apology, Then it won't be my burden anymore.

CodeRED:

Girl easier said than done. But my sister promises to accompany me. Funny though, she never liked the individual , But I will make it right. Afterall, I am being the bigger person here. The worse they can do is reject my apology, Then it won't be my burden anymore,

Awwwww,
Bigger person? I won't say anything about that but you should know why i'm laughing my head off here.
Just go and apologize. Whether accepted or not, you will be respected for that.

j-girl:

Awwwww,
Bigger person? I won't say anything about that but you should know why i'm laughing my head off here. Just go and apologize. Whether accepted or not, you will be respected for that.

Yes! I do know why you are indeed lol your silly head ,

And it's so not about the other person right now, it's so all about me. I don't care about their state of mind, I am safeguarding my behind . But I will make things right before Labour Day.

CodeRED:

Yes! I do know why you are indeed lol your silly head ,

And it's so not about the other person right now, it's so all about me. I don't care about their state of mind, I am safeguarding my behind . But I will make things right before Labour Day.

Before Labour Day? that's nice.
Safeguard your behind real well. We don't want you in any trouble now, do we?
Can you believe that I'm actually on the verge of apologizing to some dude as well? I don't know why they make you do this.
I really thought he was a slimeball

j-girl:

Before Labour Day? that's nice.
Safeguard your behind real well. We don't want you in any trouble now, do we?

Trouble ke? No way jare, heard the prisons in Lancaster County are horrible

j-girl:


Can you believe that I'm actually on the verge of apologizing to some dude as well? I don't know why they make you do this.
I really thought he was a slimeball

Do what's right lovey, Remember it has nothing to do with the person. It's ALL about you
AS per the 'slimeball" issue. Well it's better thinking they are, than actually finding out they ARE

CodeRED:

Trouble ke? No way jare, heard the prisons in Lancaster County are horrible

Do what's right lovey, Remember it has nothing to do with the person. It's ALL about you
AS per the 'slimeball" issue. Well it's better thinking they are, than actually finding out they ARE

I wasn't talking prison but pls stay out of it. I wanna see my godson happy
The slimeball issue was really prolonged. He kept asking me out over and over again and I kept thinking he's just a playa. Turns out he told his mum about me like 2 years ago. Now there she is thinking i'm a horrible girl for not even granting her son audience. I just have to apologize to him and give him my answer before the mama starts hating me too

LOL. yea of course you will be godmother to him and his 3 other siblings .

Well per the 'mama hating issue". Let her hate, she is entitled to that.

ANd do follow your instincts and make it right with the dude. Who knows, maybe He is the ONE

CodeRED:

LOL. yea of course you will be godmother to him and his 3 other siblings .

Well per the 'mama hating issue". Let her hate, she is entitled to that.

ANd do follow your instincts and make it right with the dude. Who knows, maybe He is the ONE

Lol! What 3 siblings? I can handle him but siblings? no way! they will kill their mama b4 her time
As for the mama thing. She loves me very much. She's known me since i was 8. I feel I need to explain my side to her. I'll make it right with him but I know he's NOT the one. The One does not exist so i'm lowering my expectations. Who knows? He just might be my solution to all my problems.

j-girl:

Lol! What 3 siblings? I can handle him but siblings? no way! they will kill their mama before her time

Oh Lord! tell me about it. I found my first grey today while "shaving"

j-girl:


As for the mama thing. She loves me very much. She's known me since i was 8. I feel I need to explain my side to her. I'll make it right with him but I know he's NOT the one. The One does not exist so i'm lowering my expectations. Who knows? He just might be my solution to all my problems.

Nice that you two get along. Truth is I am not into the whole "inlaw" thingy. I think as long as they can control your home, then you are the best person. But if they can't then you are a beast. I can do without them. That's why if I do settle for one, she will have to make an appointment in advance before she can visit, EXCEP in the event of an emergency

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, DOn't think of him as a solution there, just as a substitute until better can be done

CodeRED:

Oh Lord! tell me about it. I found my first grey today while "shaving"

Nice that you two get along. Truth is I am not into the whole "inlaw" thingy. I think as long as they can control your home, then you are the best person. But if they can't then you are a beast. I can do without them. That's why if I do settle for one, she will have to make an appointment in advance before she can visit, EXCEPT in the event of an emergency

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, DOn't think of him as a solution there, just as a substitute until better can be done

Are you serious?
GOSH!
Yeah neither am I. She's a friend of ma famille. I am not a big fan of in-laws either but I have to have them some time if I ever decide to place myself in the prison instituition called marriage. Some should be treated right. others should just be treated like outcasts.
He's not fit enough to be a substitute. He's fit to be a temporary solution to all my cravings.