Haba Ex, you wanna make things X-rated in this joint? I just hope your female friend was following you, though it seems like it. Ba zan bari Sisikill ko Opelovely e gudu. Ni folygamous mutumi ne. Sorry man, i could read your piece, it wasn't too long but I had to get. I'm in the middle of suff and it won't get better until two weeks from now.

About toon columns, it's been long I read a newspaper but I hope that doggie artist hasn't left Punch. He's got a fairly good play on words and not always political. Must everything a newspaper have to offer be about the powers that be?

Sisikill and Opelovely.I hope Ex didn't scare y'all away.

Will get back soon!

I just read your last post here. And I thought ouch! I don't know this fella Kassovitz but I feel his pain. Having your creativity raped like that. It could drive a man crazy. That's why it's not so good to let loose your best when you're just a budding director, if it were a director with clout, say Spielberg , nobody would tamper with his ideas, at least not too much.

And I'm beginning to get really pissed at these PG-13 idea. Can't we have really rated films like before. Let loose all the violence and sex and nudity and foul language. I like those sometimes. Now I'm fasting but other times, hey? I remember this french movie I saw when I just got initiated into teenage. It did strange things to my body. "Sometimes when i think back, i let loose a careless smile" and say lil pervert.

I can understand the ladies fleeing this thread for fear of a scandalous love triangle but where'd you go Ex?

It's like this was my thread to begin with!

Running Scared? Gudu-ing? What do you take me for. . . A coward? Puh-lease! You are talking to the girl who marked her face with black charcoal, armed with a Hockey stick and went on a kicking ass spree from Mando to Angwa Rimi in 30 mins flat. . . on foot.

Run?!

*Spits*

I am fearless and I take no prisoners!!! 

Sorry I've been MIA, I like to spread myself around here on nairaland . . ya know, give other people the pleasure of cursing me out. 



@ Ex Inferis
That exchange was Dis.gus.ting! I like it. . . just as long as you don't get us moved to sexuality section. Me no likey it over there, see I am but an innocent babe in the woods, butter won't melt in my mouth. ^{*bats eyelashes} Now, now Vesc, don't be that way, put the club down, Ex is your friend, besides I save the real batting for you ^{*Batting eyelashes harder & faster.}

Harder & Faster? Hmmm, me thinks Ex has somehow managed to slip me a dash of his eX-rated Juice.  Oh I'm unto you! You are not gonna corrupt this innocent girl, never!

Do I speak Hausa? Do I? Do I? Hmmm. Let's see, what do you think about only speaking Hausa to gossip? Okay before you start saying what an embarrassment I am, hear me out. . .  alright, imagine this -  I am with my sisters or cousins, we're at a gathering where people understand all the other language (mostly Yoruba and English), we see a girl walking around, all proud and tall, thinking she looks like Tyra Banks not knowing in reality she looks like Philip Banks and we wanna say "Oh my god! is she okay? What in the world is that? Heavens! What a horrible sight, yet I can't look away" but we can't say it coz. . . well coz we are supposed to be well brought up, so to keep the illusion of being well brought up, we speak Hausa. . . . does that count?


By the way, nice attempt trying to get the thread back on course but you gotta know, once it's derailed, it's derailed but I'm gonna help you out here and say

@ Topic

Yeah, I totally agree with you. Thanks for posting the article Ex. 




@ Vesc
Find anything interesting in the picture? Well let me tell you up front. . . whatever you see in the pictures, tells only a fraction of the real story. I'm not saying you shouldn't do whatever you wanna do, I'm just saying it's gonna leave you more curious. . . curiouser, alright which is it more curious or curiouser? Aah it doesn't matter, the point is you will be left with more questions than answers.

I once had a Mr. Vincent, a good teacher, a brilliant teacher and he liked me you see, because I was the ultimate apple polisher, yep that was me. . . then something curious happened. One day Mr. Vincent just disappeared. No one knew what happened to him, he must be lost they said, that's what he gets for walking to and from school. Nah, other's countered. . . Mr. Vincent, just went back to the planet he came from, he was too brilliant to have been from this world. Whatever the case may be, we never heard from Mr. Vincent again but now. . . I'm beginning to think maybe it's time to look into Mr. Vincent's disappearance again. Say. . . you don't mind telling me where you are, do you and please speak up in clear words please.

*turns on tape recorder*

OpeLovely is on the Lit section, you guys should drop by some time, that's where all the fun is at. . . trust me.

sisikill


I am mr vincent. i followed your breadcrumbs all the way to this here infernal gathering of jobless humans with a penchant for crass banality. i have endured many a mundane postings in order to conceal my true identity but i hide no more.

behold, earth! behold the cosmic brainard too cool for your planet. i come with the cure for cancer, cold fusion, time travel, and the truth of who shot JFK. and of course, the wisdom to make you mere eartlings more interesting and less banal in this forum.

(cue thunder, lightning  and a caped silhouette)

but first, you must rid yourself of that creep Vesc. he is Galactus, destroyer of worlds and i fear he may hinder my quest to bring peace to mankind (and get down with you sisikill).

a few things coming our way: some good, some bad, some plain ugly.

content courtesy Movies application on Iphone.

for fans of HP Lovecraft, Cthulhu is being filmed now. its an Indy so heres hoping. still, books in the Cthulhu Mythos are some of the best horrors around.

You are Mr. Vincent? Of course, it all makes sense now! The way you came out swinging at Vesc for his attempted rape with words, is exactly what Mr. Vincent would have done. He was a good man, a superhero. . . hates to see people get away with crime. Why didn't I see it?

Welcome back to earth. . . Mr. Vincent and you don't need to tell us you come in peace.  

Donallah, Ba na so foligamous mutumu. Muji Matan daya (maybe even biyu but shikena!). . . na wa ne.  

Sisikill:

You are Mr. Vincent? Of course, it all makes sense now! They way you came out swing at Vesc for his attempted rape with words, is exactly what Mr. Vincent would have done. He was a good man, a superhero. . . hates to see people get away with crime. Why didn't I see it?

Welcome back to earth. . . Mr. Vincent and you don't need to tell us you come in peace.  

Donallah, Ba na so foligamous mutumu. Muji Matan daya (maybe even biyu but shikena!). . . na wa ne.  

ni mata daya miji daya ne. ba zan aure wata ba. babu foligamus.

a few more. by the way Ctulhu made a brief cameo in the opening CGI in Alone in The Dark : New Nightmare.

Ex Inferis:

ni mata daya miji daya ne. ba zan aure wata ba. babu foligamus.

Gaskiya? Hmmm, Okay ki bani shekera daya, Zan yi in depth analysis.
To. . . manene zamu fadi Vesc yafaru?

Pardon my ignorance but what are those? Screensavers?

Those, I think, are screenshots from his iPhone. He's probably browsing with it via some freakazoid connection with MTN data-card. Pardon me, but I'm not a "techie". What's all this Vincent business? You mean Ex was the bloke we thought we sent to the bottom of the ocean? Drat! I told Louis that we shoulda used the spikeball, but no, he was more concerned about leaving "evidence". Evidence! Evidence! Mush! Like them ascari's could differenciate between a blood stain and tomato juice. I digress! Not only do you, B-28435 (that's his real name back in Gryjdliskite planet) wanna steal my catch (with all this Cavewoman wahala, she might be a lil more than I can chew), you wanna brand me. Have you heard about the invisible telluric currents, Sisi? Or Feng-shui? No? Our friendly returnee has a hidden agenda. Why not fess up and tell about your peeps at Area 51. And uh, George Bush, Paris Hilton, Ben Affleck, McCain, Condeleeza Rice, Nostradamus, Albert Einstein and Hitler were all from the Gryjdliskite planet. Finally I'll let go of my genome ingrained polygamous nature just to get on ur good books. That's extra points for me since I've made a sacrifice! So what do you say we go to Yoruba road and go eat some wayna,

Y'all quit it with the vernacular.I can't keep up. I'm not that good with it. I can understand way more than I can speak, but that's got to do with context and gesticulations. Since y'all are not gesticulating, I'm at wit's end.

Literature, eh? I read some of Ope's writs about one Brian and one, chic, I forget her name. Then skipped to the wet clothes part. We were getting warmer. If that's all the fun, I trust you implicitly then, Sisi.

P.S. I was actually writing exams and you know,

vescucci:

Those, I think, are screenshots from his iPhone. He's probably browsing with it via some freakazoid connection with MTN data-card. Pardon me, but I'm not a "techie". What's all this Vincent business? You mean Ex was the bloke we thought we sent to the bottom of the ocean? Drat! I told Louis that we shoulda used the spikeball, but no, he was more concerned about leaving "evidence". Evidence! Evidence! Mush! Like them ascari's could differenciate between a blood stain and tomato juice. I digress! Not only do you, B-28435 (that's his real name back in Gryjdliskite planet) want to steal my catch (with all this Cavewoman wahala, she might be a little more than I can chew), you want to brand me. Have you heard about the invisible telluric currents, Sisi? Or Feng-shui? No? Our friendly returnee has a hidden agenda. Why not fess up and tell about your peeps at Area 51. And uh, George Bush, Paris Hilton, Ben Affleck, McCain, Condeleeza Rice, Nostradamus, Albert Einstein and Hitler were all from the Gryjdliskite planet. Finally I'll let go of my genome ingrained polygamous nature just to get on your good books. That's extra points for me since I've made a sacrifice! So what do you say we go to Yoruba road and go eat some wayna,

Y'all quit it with the vernacular.I can't keep up. I'm not that good with it. I can understand way more than I can speak, but that's got to do with context and gesticulations. Since y'all are not gesticulating, I'm at wit's end.

Literature, eh? I read some of Ope's writs about one Brian and one, chic, I forget her name. Then skipped to the wet clothes part. We were getting warmer. If that's all the fun, I trust you implicitly then, Sisi.

P.S. I was actually writing exams and you know,

gesticulations? sound too much like "Master Bay Shawn" if you catch my drift <wink wink>

why you unformed foetus, you tiny speck of ice cold alien spermatozoa, how dare you? never EVER mention Area 51 again without security clearance. how did you even know about the place anyway since it is not on any map? aw hell, since the cat is out of the bag, let me spill the beans (hmm, idioms).

Area 51 is, like, this super secret facility where we keep ageing rockers, spent actors, fallen druggie pop stars and failed politicians, some of them in cryostasis. it is a monarchy currently headed by none other than the King, Elvis Presley (y'all suckers thought he was dead, huh?). second in command is Ambrose Bierce who is currently working on a revised Devil's Dictionary.

Byron is there, as is shakespeare (he doesnt really speak THAT victorian english. he only does that in his written plays. his diction is a yankee drawl. he goes, " dang, shoot boy. i done got stuck cauze mah muses is out a-hooting 'bout town".

and of course, we have a few extraterrestrial beings there as well. they crash landed their flying saucer decades ago in new mexico. the survivors include Hitler.

so there you have it, O Ye Being of Bombasts.


anyway, back to reality.

yeah those are iphone pics, using a wifi connection and not MTN 3G. its an application that allows you a peek behind the hallowed doors of the movie-making factory and peer at what is being cooked up. some of the offerings will give you food poisoning, others you will savor, while most you will swallow and sigh over your hard-earned cash.

well well. spikyn, whereever you are, it seems The Hobbit is being filmed right now, set for a 2011 release. WETA Digital will handle the digital effects. no word yet if pete jackson will helm it but seeing as WETA is his company we can reasonably expect the effects to be good at least.

heres hoping and waiting,

Boys! Boys! Boys! I am shocked and appaulled! ^{Carryover joke from the Nigerian spelling thread} I can't not believe what I am seeing here. . . exchanging verbal barbs? Goodness! What happened to friendship? What happened to kinsmanship and most importantly, what happened to waiting for me to get the best seat in the house, with my popcorn and drink in hand to enjoy this verbal duel between pseudo intellects?


*Grabs soft comfy sofa, large buttered popcorn and huge fountain drinks. . . takes a sip*

Ahhh! Refreshing! Now carry. . .  errr. . . wait. . .

*Adjust butt pillow*

Hmmm! Yes, yes. . . do carry on. 

_{@ Vesc
Don't freak me out here. . . I beg you! So tell me the Yoruba road (street) you mentioned is NOT the one in Kawo. Please, please, please tell me coz I'm about to lose my mind! I grew up on Yoruba Street!!! As a matter of fact, before Yoruba Street was Yoruba street, there were only two houses there, ours and the "Alahajas"   (if we are talking about the same Yoruba street, then you will know who I am talking about) and that's why they called it Yoruba Street!}

Im reporting you all for going offtopic

Sisikill:


*Adjust butt pillow*

someone should sneak a whoopee cushion in there.

pseudo-intellectuals? apparently the lesser mind is befuddled before the weight of superior intellect. one can almost perceive the envy wafting in the intimacy of the wind, which sadly is being rendered into hot air by the excruciatingly mundane Vesc.

(ps. this parley was spawned by boy-meets-girl-and-other-boy-wants-a-pound-of-flesh sort of rivalry. maybe its post-teenage angst, who knows?)

yoruba road. hmm, brings memories of heavily-spinached Waina stew. once upon a time it enjoyed a brief stint as a haven for teenage prostitutes. now its a meeting point for a coven of witches.

sisikill, if you were like the early pioneers in yoruba street, i guesstimate your age nearer to the paleolithic. thats after the asteriod that wiped off the dinosaurs, right? talk about a living fossil. you ought to be in the Smithsonian, gal.

KarmaMod:

I'm reporting you all for going offtopic

the requisite whistle blower. theres a killjoy in every forum. rasp!!

and?

KarmaMod:

and?

you really wanna know? well, someone did mention guns and clubs a few posts ago. we are thinking drive-by.

watch out.

Im pretty sure if it gets to that point, Im the one that'll end up dealing with you guys

Quit boring me to death and maybe i'll have pity on you people.

KarmaMod:

I'm pretty sure if it gets to that point, I'm the one that'll end up dealing with you guys

Quit boring me to death and maybe i'll have pity on you people.

gasp! we? bore you to death? ha! a real headscratcher, that one. i figure you amuse yourself watching hair grow. this is without question the liveliest thread. think: pun, wit, sleaze, curses, love triangle, a tranny (vesc), and death threats.

for utter banality please check out the politics section.

THEY will bore YOU to death.

but then, for someone who watches hair grow-boredom is a moot point.

I'm amused by the fact that YOUR hair doesnt grow.

KarmaMod:

I'm amused by the fact that YOUR hair doesnt grow.

im amused by the fact that you even have a head

but whether its screwed on the right way is subject to debate

I hear retards are easily amused.

KarmaMod:

I hear retards are easily amused.

really? wow. you must be amused right now then.

cant believe you took such a lame and predictable shot

I'm disappointed 

KarmaMod:

can't believe you took such a lame and predictable shot

I'm disappointed 

i was dumbing it down for the in-house autistics.

such as your blessed self.

even if I am, so what? Im still bored

and most "autistics" are actually brilliant

like Rainman.

KarmaMod:

even if I am, so what? I'm still bored

and most "autistics" are actually brilliant

like Rainman.

you are entitled to self-consolation. believe me, you have my empathy. it cant be easy being you.

and boredom thrown in. <sigh>


to be honest, we have flogged the main topic of the thread to an inch of its blessed life. recommend an opener and lets see if we can revive the donkey yet. nairaland is becoming boring-er every blessed day.

well, im off. laters.

Oooh, things are getting mighty interesting. Our very own KM has thrown down the gauntlet. Any sensible man will see this and take to his heels, yet Ex stays. Don't know what to make of that. . . Is he sure that sure of himself or is he just. . .

@ Ex
Did you just call me. . . [I]*Gulp*[/I] old? How so uncool! My parents, were the pioneers, thank you very much. I was born there. . . Long, long, long, way very long after it had been pioneered. Not so old now, you see.

Dont mind the boy trying to flex his muscles