Is it possible/advisable to tell the absolute truth all the time, especially in a relationship?

Yes, i always do. . . I dont place potential outcomes ahead of truth - i say the truth and forget what happens after. Surely, everybody can do that.

whitelexi:

Yes, i always do. . . I don't place potential outcomes ahead of truth - i say the truth and forget what happens after. Surely, everybody can do that.

Thats a lie!! You cant possibly tell the truth all the time. You might not always lie outrightly, but you cant always tell the whole thruth. It's not even advisable.

YES it is, or am I telling the truth?

No, Yes, Ok you decide

It is possible but very very very hard.

Ujujoan:

Thats a lie!! You can't possibly tell the truth all the time. You might not always lie outrightly, but you can't always tell the whole thruth. It's not even advisable.

Sorry love, my upbringing was based on extremely strict rules about telling lies, so as a baby i was already telling the truth regularly - i had to! Not when u're the last born
Old habits die hard, i have lived with it since and besides i realised it was not a bad thing so i stuck to it tooo.

lying is an habitual action,so is telling the truth,and habits can be learnt. but u must also learn to b diplomatic wit words.

Say the truth and its shall set u free?  

emmyjojo:

lying is an habitual action,so is telling the truth,and habits can be learnt. but u must also learn to b diplomatic wit words.

Thats my point. You dont have to lie outrightly to tell a lie.

Secnario: I go out on a date with this guy I just met and like; we run into an old friend of mine who happens to be a friend of his also.
My date: Hey guy, long time no see.
Friend: What's up wiv u?
My date: Nothing much ( turns to make the introductions). This is . . .
Me: Dont worry, we've met, we used to work together. Hi John.
Friend: Hey girl. You look even better than I can remember. _{the conversation continues bla, bla, bla}

And we move on . . .

My Date: Nice guys.
Me: Yea, he is
My date: He had this look in his eyes when he looked at you, did you date him?
Me: Nope, but we were really close back then; but no strings attached.

There's no way you'd expect me to tell him that I had to work overnight with the guy one time and one thing led to anoda and . . . Please note that I did not actually date the guy, so I dint lie; but technically, I wasnt telling the truth.

So Whitelexi, tell me you'd be 'honest' enough to say . . . I didnt date hime, but I had sex with him once.

Nope

Ujujoan:

Thats my point. You don't have to lie outrightly to tell a lie.

Secnario: I go out on a date with this guy I just met and like; we run into an old friend of mine who happens to be a friend of his also.
My date: Hey guy, long time no see.
Friend: What's up with u?
My date: Nothing much ( turns to make the introductions). This is . . .
Me: Dont worry, we've met, we used to work together. Hi John.
Friend: Hey girl. You look even better than I can remember. _{the conversation continues bla, bla, bla}

And we move on . . .

My Date: Nice guys.
Me: Yea, he is
My date: He had this look in his eyes when he looked at you, did you date him?
Me: Nope, but we were really close back then; but no strings attached.

There's no way you'D expect me to tell him that I had to work overnight with the guy one time and one thing led to another and . . . Please note that I did not actually date the guy, so I dint lie; but technically, I wasnt telling the truth.

So Whitelexi, tell me you'D be 'honest' enough to say . . . I didnt date hime, but I had sex with him once.

lovely post Uju

See, thats exactly what I'm talking about. My girl wants me to swear I will always tell her the absolute truth no matter what. She's quite willing to tell me evrything in her past, including her love life, but I'm not too keen on knowing.

She's translating this reluctance on my part as evidence that I am secretive, and not to be trusted since I'm not willing to tell her the truth about me.
I've told her what I think she should know, but she wants everything, especially my love life before I met her.

No, not possible!

coolruler:

lovely post Uju

See, thats exactly what I'm talking about. My girl wants me to swear I will always tell her the absolute truth no matter what. She's quite willing to tell me evrything in her past, including her love life, but I'm not too keen on knowing.

She's translating this reluctance on my part as evidence that I am secretive, and not to be trusted since I'm not willing to tell her the truth about me.
I've told her what I think she should know, but she wants everything, especially my love life before I met her.

That makes you one of the very few.

"All d time"!!!!! no!

there're sumtymz one kant help it!

spikedcylinder:

That makes you one of the very few.

@spiked
why should I want to know? To me, thats giving myself unnecessary grief. I believe the past is better kept where it belongs.

Ujujoan:

So Whitelexi, tell me you'D be 'honest' enough to say . . . I didnt date her, but I had sex with her once.

I don't know why Uju is picking on me, i've made my position clear. In the scenario u mentioned. . .  u can claim to have been diplomatic or to have been exaggerating a little bit, but in my dictionary, u told a lie. Saying u worked with him or u were close is not the entire truth. a better way to put it should've been:

"we worked together at a time and had this crush for each other, we didnt particularly date but in a moment of madness [one night when we had to work overnight], we had sex. . .  After that day, we avoided each other and i guess it died there."

This might be harder for u as a woman, but if u truly want to know, the answer is "YES", i would've mentioned we had sex.

whitelexi:

I don't know why Uju is picking on me, i've made my position clear. In the scenario u mentioned. . . u can claim to have been diplomatic or to have been exaggerating a little bit, but in my dictionary, u told a lie. Saying u worked with him or u were close is not the entire truth. a better way to put it should've been:

"we worked together at a time and had this crush for each other, we didnt particularly date but in a moment of madness [one night when we had to work overnight], we had sex. . . After that day, we avoided each other and i guess it died there."
This might be harder for u as a woman, but if u truly want to know, the answer is "YES", i would've mentioned we had sex.

That would really be telling a lot and it might have cost her that man which would definately be the case if he is the close minded sort who would like to believe the woman he's with hasnt been sexually active before him. Some men really cant bear that thought you know.

coolruler:

@spiked
why should I want to know? To me, thats giving myself unnecessary grief. I believe the past is better kept where it belongs.

Very good for you! But I think you should understand why she want to know it all. . . . I guess she wants you to be honest and straight with her which might help her with her security issues. . . . or something like that.

spikedcylinder:

That would really be telling a lot and it might have cost her that man which would definately be the case if he is the close minded sort who would like to believe the woman he's with hasnt been sexually active before him. Some men really can't bear that thought you know.

It could cost her the man: If he's a boy, yes thats possible. . . Almost every man has has a quickie that is not very plausible and often quite embarrassing, but its best for the guy to know from her rather than hooking up with the guy later and hearing from him. . . That will even help him make up his mind quicker about her.

Men who like to know a woman has not been sexually active before him: I seriously dont like to know that i'm dealing with someone of little or no experience, perhaps men of that category exist in sizeable numbers - i dont know. As long as u spare me all the shenanigans about how it happened and so and so, i dont mind knowing that u slept with a few men.

whitelexi:


As long as u spare me all the shenanigans about how it happened and so and so, i don't mind knowing that u slept with a few men.

What if it is a sizeable number of men? Would you still stay with her if she told you?

spikedcylinder:


What if it is a sizeable number of men? Would you still stay with her if she told you?

YES. However she do have to convince me that her change is total.

I would place her on a trial period, any slip from her. . . . . . .

Pataki:

YES. However she do have to convince me that her change is total.

I would place her on a trial period, any slip from her. . . . . . .

Exactement! Mais seulement si elle a une histoire ou la promiscuité

_{Exactly! But only if she has a history of promiscuity}

I avoid to lie but sumtimes you just help it with those little white lies

tope2000:

I avoid to lie but sumtimes you just help it with those little white lies

No wonder.

whitelexi:

Exactement! Mais seulement si elle a une histoire ou la promiscuité

_{Exactly! But only if she has a history of promiscuity}

C'est vrai mon ami.

Pataki:

No wonder.

no wonder what??

whitelexi:

Exactement! Mais seulement si elle a une histoire ou la promiscuité

_{Exactly! But only if she has a history of promiscuity}

Since when did have a number of sexual partners equal promiscuity?  
I mean, she could have been faithful to each person, one at a time.

tope2000:

no wonder what??

You keep fabricating those lies for me.

whitelexi:

I don't know why Uju is picking on me, i've made my position clear. In the scenario u mentioned. . .  u can claim to have been diplomatic or to have been exaggerating a little bit, but in my dictionary, u told a lie. Saying u worked with him or u were close is not the entire truth. a better way to put it should've been:

"we worked together at a time and had this crush for each other, we didnt particularly date but in a moment of madness [one night when we had to work overnight], we had sex. . .  After that day, we avoided each other and i guess it died there."

This might be harder for u as a woman, but if u truly want to know, the answer is "YES", i would've mentioned we had sex.

Guess what, that actually happened to me, and I made the stupid mistake of telling him. I’ll continue the gist the way it happened to me

My date:  . . . So did you date him.
Me: No.
My date: You know what honey, I like you, really I do, but I hate lies and I think you just told one
Me: C’mon, I dint actually date him
My date: you dint ‘actually’ date him, so what did you ‘actually’ do?
Me: Okay, we had to stay over one day at the office, and I just broke up with my guy and was in a very lousy mood; I told him about it and he tried to console me. One thing led to another and . . .  but of course it was meaningless. He’s a good friend to me and I respect him a lot. So you see, I dint actually lie to you, I didn’t date him.
My date: No wonder he had this 'i've been down with you girl' attitude _{imagine that !!!}

He claimed it didn’t matter to him, but I knew it did. The r/ship didn’t work out and today I hate myself for ever telling him. So I made up my mind never to tell again. Of course the guy’s a jerk, but hey its second nature to guys.

whitelexi:

It could cost her the man: If he's a boy, yes thats possible. . . Almost every man has has a quickie that is not very plausible and often quite embarrassing, but its best for the guy to know from her rather than hooking up with the guy later and hearing from him. . . That will even help him make up his mind quicker about her.

Aint they all boys  

Hard as it is, it very possible.

Ujujoan:

Guess what, that actually happened to me, and I made the stupid mistake of telling him. I’ll continue the gist the way it happened to me

My date:  . . . So did you date him.
Me: No.
My date: You know what honey, I like you, really I do, but I hate lies and I think you just told one
Me: C’mon, I dint actually date him
My date: you dint ‘actually’ date him, so what did you ‘actually’ do?
Me: Okay, we had to stay over one day at the office, and I just broke up with my guy and was in a very lousy mood; I told him about it and he tried to console me. One thing led to another and . . .  but of course it was meaningless. He’s a good friend to me and I respect him a lot. So you see, I dint actually lie to you, I didn’t date him.
My date: No wonder he had this 'i've been down with you girl' attitude _{imagine that !!!}

He claimed it didn’t matter to him, but I knew it did. The r/ship didn’t work out and today I hate myself for ever telling him. So I made up my mind never to tell again. Of course the guy’s a jerk, but hey its second nature to guys.

You see?? It DID cost her the man.

Moral lesson? Always stay mute. Even if he asks what you wonno eat for dinner, stay mute because who knows? He might just hate the way you say "Chicken". . . . thinking you may have "been" with the chicken.

spikedcylinder:

You see?? It DID cost her the man.

Moral lesson? Always stay mute. Even if he asks what you wonno eat for dinner, stay mute because who knows? He might just hate the way you say "Chicken". . . . thinking you may have "been" with the chicken.

It did cost her the boy - i think its fortunate for her.

Aint they all boys

No they aint all boys

@Spiked: Now the puzzle makes sense. I now see how we're related