I'm seeking advice for one of my good friends, so please go easy on us 

She is divorcing her husband after many years of mistreatment on his part. The snag is that the house they own is in his and his mother's name. His mother has never paid a penny towards the mortgage, but is now threatening to not sign off on the sale of the house because she is upset that this woman is divorcing her son. She is using the excuse that she is trying to come up with the money to buy out the daughter-in-law, of her share of the home.

My friend does not want to wait for the family to see if they can come up with the money, because the house has been for sale for over a year and they finally have a solid offer. If they reject the offer and the family can not come up with the money, they will have to start back from square one and possibly wait months before they receive another offer. Meanwhile she is living with this man in near agony.

She told her husband in no uncertain terms, that if his mom does not sign off on the house, she will stop helping him with the mortgage and let the house go into foreclosure, and no one will get a penny. The husband is stuck because he is trying to appease both his family and the wife.

Also, she has began to receive harassing phone calls from her sister-in-law, who has taken it upon herself to do the talking for the mother-in-law.

One of our other friends told her she needs to just walk away in order to get peach of mind, because she has really been through it with the husband for the past two years. She told her that her peace of mind is worth more than money

But her portion of the money is really substantial (75K USD).

He (the husband) needs to step up! They are no longer together so there is nothing like trying to make both parties happy. He should know that the real estate market is nothing to write home about now and that he should be happy that he got an offer. He should sell the house quick!

OMG. That is exactly what everyone is saying!!

Not having the house in both her and her husbands name in the first place was  huge mistake. .

Are there children involved? if there r, she needs to make it clear that loosing the house will affect the children. obviously its all up to the husband, he needs to put his foot down and get his mother to sign off on the sale.

your friends shd be fully prepared to walk as the mother-in-laws tactic is to basically hold her to randsom and make her life hell

This is sad.
I hate divorce,but sometimes it may be the only option before people run out naked in the streets of this America.
It's difficult to see reason with bitter inlaws when divorce is on the table.
let them proceed with the divorce let the judge or jury decide on the property.

But why on earth would a married woman let her home be in her husband and mother in law's name?
Even if she helped to buy it,the title should have been changed a while back.
She may actually lose out entirely if this property was acquired before marriage ,especially if the mortgage is in the mother in law's name
and the son is just an additional.
Your friend may lose out big time.
but I'm not a lawyer.
she needs a good attorney.

nalijah07:

I'm seeking advice for one of my good friends, so please go easy on us 

She is divorcing her husband after many years of mistreatment on his part. The snag is that the house they own is in his and his mother's name. His mother has never paid a penny towards the mortgage, but is now threatening to not sign off on the sale of the house because she is upset that this woman is divorcing her son. She is using the excuse that she is trying to come up with the money to buy out the daughter-in-law, of her share of the home.

My friend does not want to wait for the family to see if they can come up with the money, because the house has been for sale for over a year and they finally have a solid offer. If they reject the offer and the family can not come up with the money, they will have to start back from square one and possibly wait months before they receive another offer. Meanwhile she is living with this man in near agony.

She told her husband in no uncertain terms, that if his mom does not sign off on the house, she will stop helping him with the mortgage and let the house go into foreclosure, and no one will get a penny. The husband is stuck because he is trying to appease both his family and the wife.

Also, she has began to receive harassing phone calls from her sister-in-law, who has taken it upon herself to do the talking for the mother-in-law.

it's a win-win situation for her.

this is america for crying out loud, not nigeria.

her statement of account will show she is the one paying the mortgage of the house so there's proof.

besides, it does not matter whose name is on the house.

as long as they have cohabitated for more than 6 months, even if they are not married, she is entitled to 50% of the proceeds.

a man can never win with a woman in the usa/uk. the laws are designed to protect women like her.

your friend is very safe.

HR.hotness:

Not having the house in both her and her husbands name in the first place was  huge mistake. .

Are there children involved? if there r, she needs to make it clear that loosing the house will affect the children. obviously its all up to the husband, he needs to put his foot down and get his mother to sign off on the sale.

your friends should be fully prepared to walk as the mother-in-laws tactic is to basically hold her to randsom and make her life hell

The husband is a generous man if he's willing to sell the house and share the profits if any with the ex-wife.
Most men won't be as magnanimous especially with the reality that if they end up with a short sale i.e sell at a loss, the woman most likely will simply walk away and leave them with the debt involved afterall her name is not on the property and perhaps mortgage.
The man doesn't sound like a monster to me.

She is coming over to read your replies tonight.

@Queenisha - The house was obtained during the marriage, but her credit was no good so they needed the mother.

@hotness - They do have 2 children

@queenisha - no he is not a monster, but i know for a fact that he does not want to sell the house either.

I am wondering if the in-laws are really doing the talking for him He is not the assertive kind.

superstan:

it's a win-win situation for her.

this is america for crying out loud, not nigeria.

her statement of account will show she is the one paying the mortgage of the house so there's proof.

besides, it does not matter whose name is on the house.

as long as they have cohabitated for more than 6 months, even if they are not married, she is entitled to 50% of the proceeds.

a man can never win with a woman in the usa/uk. the laws are designed to protect women like her.

your friend is very safe.

Don't be too sure my dear.
Laws in the USA differ from state to state.
Some states don't have "common law" protection for co habiters in terms of property and some that do will not include property acquired before the marriage.
But in this case,the people were married.

I say she needs a very good lawyer.

I have a friend also going through a divorce,the man is asking for alimony and is likely to get it because she makes more than him.
Pathetic but true that a Nigerian man would tell the courts that his standard of living will fall because of the divorce and demanding for alimony including a lump sum initial paymet.

Queenisha:

Don't be too sure my dear.
Laws in the USA differ from state to state.
Some states don't have "common law" protection for co habiters in terms of property and some that do will not include property acquired before the marriage.
But in this case,the people were married.

I say she needs a very good lawyer.

I have a friend also going through a divorce,the man is asking for alimony and is likely to get it because she makes more than him.
Pathetic but true that a Nigerian man would tell the courts that his standard of living will fall because of the divorce and demanding for alimony including a lump sum initial paymet.

Osisi money no get sex o, whatever a woman can do, a man can do better

na wetin those maniacal nurse killers suppose do be dat, collect alimony instead of taking one's life.

My advice is, do not move out.

Endure the 'agony' if needed, but don't leave, cos once she does, that severely weakens her claim to the house. Play the waiting game as long as possible, if they want to play hardball, so will you. Remember, both parties will lose if the house goes into foreclosure so threaten him seriously with stopping payments.

You do need to get a good lawyer to prove that you've paid a great deal of income into the house. Since the house was bought after marriage, you theoretically have a right to 50% of whatever portion is deemed your husband's.

The man is a wimp, how can his sister-in-law be threatening the mother of his kids? He needs to grow balls and set his house (or ex-house ) in order.

The marriage has failed, yes, but you need a cordial relationship with the mother of your kids anyways, get this house sold and move on with your lives, waiting further may even scare the buyer off and make the house lose more value.

a house for sale
2 children involve
intruding mother in-law (mistake made by buying the house in his and mother's name)
confused husband
frustrated wife


the children will be affected.


where will all this end?


if she want peace in her life, she should just walk away (for a while) or else the problem will be settled in court.

75k USD is tempting but all parties involved won't just let go.

nalijah07:

@queenisha - no he is not a monster, but i know for a fact that he does not want to sell the house either.

I am wondering if the in-laws are really doing the talking for him He is not the assertive kind.

Let me go offtopic ,permit me
why can't they work on the marriage since it does sound like this man has a good heart.
Divorce is not as easy as it looks until one gets there.
I know
I have divorced friends.
The loneliness they feel is excrutiating
and the next mate may be much worse than what she currently has.
Let them try counselling.
as a friend,advise her so.
For the sake of those kids,they need to do all the can do to make it work.
Children of divorce have an uphill task,life is already hard for kids as it is.
As long as they are both willing,there's no problem in marriage that cannot be solved

Queenisha:

Don't be too sure my dear.
Laws in the USA differ from state to state.
Some states don't have "common law" protection for co habiters in terms of property and some that do will not include property acquired before the marriage.
But in this case,the people were married.

I say she needs a very good lawyer.

No wonder more women are migrating to the UK.

Hannibal:

No wonder more women are migrating to the UK.

to do kwarangida
kwarangida no be marriage na
those of us who made sure he signed on dotted lines are secure.
even his briefcases are in both our names.
I'm not the descendants of okirika dealers for nothing
Love is good but abeg my name go dey for property.
I no wan carry my load for pillowcase if sometin happen

God forbid

Maybe they have tired counseling and it still ain't working. Some people just ain't meant to be. I swear I will never use anyone's credit to purchase anything let alone a house!

queenisha - good point, but she has tried with this man so I have to give her credit.

Between his multiple cheating (also - the family entertains the other woman). and it seems as if the family is always involved in their business (coming to visit unannounced, inviting others over, etc).

They have been together for almost 15 years, and for the last 2 years believe me she has tried.

Queenisha:

to do kwarangida
kwarangida no be marriage na
those of us who made sure he signed on dotted lines are secure.
even his briefcases are in both our names.
I'm not the descendants of okirika dealers for nothing
Love is good but abeg my name go dey for property.
I no wan carry my load for pillowcase if sometin happen

God forbid

Kwarangida?? What is the meaning of that??

Signing the dotted lines is no guarantee he won't turn to be a beast anytime he wants to.
There was a colleague of mine who went through HELL in the hands of her Naija husband last year.
She is from Ghana and the husband just realised she wasn't good enough 2 years after their wedding.
All of a sudden, the husband can't stand her. . . .he can't stand her food and he just neglects her sometimes for weeks.
If there's one thing i love about Naija men. . . . .It's their eccentric ways and unpredictable nature.
God bless Naija men.

ah she needs to run and never look back! Tell her that she should leave. If he doesn't want to step up then she should leave the house for him. I don't know how anyone would be stupid enough to consider not selling their house quick with a solid offer on it. I guess he hasn't gotten the memo yet that freddie mac and fanny mae has been taken over by the federal government.

chika98:

ah she needs to run and never look back! Tell her that she should leave. If he doesn't want to step up then she should leave the house for him. I don't know how anyone would be stupid enough to consider not selling their house quick with a solid offer on it. I guess he hasn't gotten the memo yet that freddie mac and fanny mae has been taken over by the federal government.

Whenever a marriage sours like this and the individuals are still living in the same house
fear dey catch me.
I no go lie
no do no do, one of them will become dead bodi
and we know which one
I hope she's not a nurse

Hannibal:

Kwarangida?? What is the meaning of that??

Signing the dotted lines is no guarantee he won't turn to be a beast anytime he wants to.
There was a colleague of mine who went through HELL in the hands of her Naija husband last year.
She is from Ghana and the husband just realised she wasn't good enough 2 years after their wedding.
All of a sudden, the husband can't stand her. . . .he can't stand her food and he just neglects her sometimes for weeks.
If there's one thing i love about Naija men. . . . .It's their eccentric ways and unpredictable nature.
God bless Naija men.

Kwarangida simply means shacking up with a man i.e co-habiting
signing on the dotted line does not guarantee a blissful marriage, true
but it has it's advantages
Men can have serious issues.
Watch out.
Next thing your friend's husband will declare her a witch and they'll start sprinkling her with pure holy water and wanting to pour groundnut annointing oil into her privates.
God help us.

I heard of a lady who before her divorce resorted to wearing wigs to bed because her husband wanted to cut a piece of her hair and send to "okija".
She had to wear wigs so that he couldn't cut her real hair since the mumu didn't know the difference.
And they say women are not smart

Queenisha:

Kwarangida simply means shacking up with a man i.e co-habiting

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Well, can u blame the men??
Men are reluctant to sign the dotted lines cos of the brood of vipers we have here.
Cohabitation is the way. . . . .Let'z put em on trial till we are totally convinced they are wifey materials.

@chika - I would hate to seem him and the mother-in-law run off with her money without a fight. Unless she sues him for child support and alimony, which she was tyring to prevent in the first place.

She is here with me now. she says now that she has thought about it, she will seek legal representation.

i love this case, contact me at my chamber

Tuesdays - - - 10am - 6pm

Thursdays- - - 8am - 10 pm

sundays- - - 12 pm - 6 pm

you mean contact you at the beer parlour

Queenisha:

you mean contact you at the beer parlour

lmao dont mind d guy,him no sabi speak good english sef,him don dey claim lawyer

she was very pleased with the responses.

mesmya:

lmao don't mind d guy,him no sabi speak good english sef,him don dey claim lawyer

whats wrong with that statement you little poacher!