PRESS RELEASE: JOHESU VS DOCTORS
We the association of Nigeria Hospital Patients (NHP) having
extensively deliberated on the on-going brouhaha between the johesu
and medical doctors came out with the following resolution which we
believe is a perfect solution to end the crisis. For these groups of
wannabe/drop-out medical students who veered into the
allied/para-medical professions and want to short circuit back to
assume the roles, positions and the entitlements of our Doctors who
are our primary caregivers, this culture of impunity must be extended
to other sectors as follows
A) All cabin crew should be allowed to fly the aircrafts in Nigeria
B) Henceforth, gatemen are eligible to be appointed as chief of defence staff
C) That the midwives should be allowed to perform C/S on any relative
of the federal executive council that might require this surgery
D) That henceforth, the super eagles' physio should be referred to as
the chief coach and be entitled to all allowances of the real chief
coach.
E) That the pharmacist technician should be eligible to be appointed
chief pharmacist
F) That the orderlies who has spent atleast one year ( equivalent of
post basic nursing training) in a specialized ward be referred to as
specialist and be paid specialist allowance. Afterall, the auxilliary
nurses have being enjoying all the entitlements of the B. Sc nurses
since the Gowon's regime.
G) That driving license shall be granted those who have driving
experience with toy cars in childhood.
H) That the appointment to the office of the chief judge of the
federation and minister of justice shall not be limited to LLB holder,
but open to all staff in the ministry of justice. Afterall, all of us
don judge case at one point or the other in our lifetime.
I) To settle the issue of Consultant pathologists and the laboratory
scientists, none of them shall be regarded as PATHOLOGIST except the
mortuary attendants. Yes because they spend more time with the dead
bodies.
J) Henceforth, all staff of the national assemblies shall be referred
to as senator and shall be paid as stipulated in the document that
guides the remuneration of the elected senators.
k) Henceforth, a credit in pigeon English can be accepted in place of
English language in Nigerian universities.

(ALL READERS ARE FREE TO ADD TO THIS RESOLUTIONS)

All these in addition to #bringbackourdoctors will be the minimum
requirements to come back to government hospitals. Failure to do this
will mean that we are left with two options, either to go and die
(Oshiomole APC, et al) or to abide by the privatization policy
(Goodluck, Obasanjo, PDP, et al) by going to meet our doctors in the
private clinics.
FG remember "diaris God o!"
These bloods that you people are ssssshhhhhaaaring. hmmmm!!