egopersonified: Kai, when I read the first post and got to the I got pregnant part, i shouted oh God not again b4 i realised there were other people around me.

Pls parents, lets instill discipline in our children, even if it is fear sef e beta, how would u move in with a guy, he physically abuses u, u go back and get pregnant? U are already a single mother with a child out of wedlock, so what are yr parents shamed of again, it has already happened.

With all these traits of your husband and his been to jail, hope u no he has gone to fine tune his profession there, d next one he will come out with is 5.e.x.x.u.a.l molestation of your child, be it boy or girl.

If yr parents are not giving u d necessary support out of shame look for who will and live yr life ohh, u cant make everyone happy all d time. And pls ladies, let us stop killing ourselves by ourselves, its really getting out of hand.

tanx dear,u really gave me word of hope and courage,I think I will live my life d way I want,I won't let anybody to dictate my life for me again,as far as I'm aiming for good,and they re nt d one dat will help me stay in my husbands place,tanx so much dear,I knw God will make a way for me out of no way

okirewaju: You have your life to live, your life is not tied to him neither is it tied to your mum
Move on my dear. I just can't stand abusers.
You mean you told your mum all you went through with him; the beatings and others and she still asked you to go back to him? Unbelievable!!
You have a child, focus on your child. Learn a skill or something, don't bring up that child in an abusive relationship
Abusers MOST times never change
You are stronger than you think,having a child out of wedlock is not a taboo
I wish you well.

tanx for giving me dis advice,God bless you

K

MojAyo: tanx dear,u really gave me word of hope and courage,I think I will live my life d way I want,I won't let anybody to dictate my life for me again,as far as I'm aiming for good,and they re nt d one dat will help me stay in my husbands place,tanx so much dear,I knw God will make a way for me out of no way

pls believe me when I say God has already made several ways where there seems to be no way, all u ve to do is trust Him and chose one. U are blessed.

egopersonified:

pls believe me when I say God has already made several ways where there seems to be no way, all u ve to do is trust Him and chose one. U are blessed.

amen,tanx my love

I am so sorry for your pain.

Its good you've told your story now stop listening to your mother. You want her to be happy with you but don't you deserve to be happy?

If you can take care of you,your hubby and a baby in SA why can't you do so here in naija. Start making hair and nails again,save money and take care of yourself. Next time you mom or mother in law talks about your boyfriend tell them you are not married to him and owe him nothing. Don't go back to that man he is not worth your time.

Don't let your mother and the boyfriend's mother toy with your life. Take back your life from their control.

lecturerdabo:

RELATIONSHIP INDEED!

There was never any relationship so move on wt ur life and dont try pushng the blame to your parents cos u made the decision to settle for him yourself (maybe cos he made u financially ok)
AGAIN!!! MOVE ON WT UR LIFE! (Just hope the baby is a girl)

why would you say the parents are not at fault? Did you even read her stories? It's like you don't know what abuses, insults and ills ladies. pass through from their own parents not to talk of the society, who pressure them into getting married. It's easier for you to say because you are not in her shoes and because you're a man. The people to be blamed firstly, is her heartless parents!!

Please my dear, you have suffered enough. If you value your life and your child's, leave immediately.

andromida: I am so sorry for your pain.
Its good you've told your story now stop listening to your mother. You want her to be happy with you but don't you deserve to be happy?
If you can take care of you,your hubby and a baby in SA why can't you do so here in naija. Start making hair and nails again,save money and take care of yourself. Next time you mom or mother in law talks about your boyfriend tell them you are not married to him and owe him nothing. Don't go back to that man he is not worth your time.
Don't let your mother and the boyfriend's mother toy with your life. Take back your life from their control.

tanx dear,it will be noted

BluePearls: Please my dear, you have suffered enough. If you value your life and your child's, leave immediately.

tanx for understanding my pains

@op, is marraige compulsory?
Don't understand what happening this days oh.

My sister if your value your life you better stay away form that kid you call boyfriend.

Sarah a:
@op, is marraige compulsory?
Don't understand what happening this days oh.

My sister if your value your life you better stay away form the kid your call boyfriend.

hmmm,u re talking like dis,anti sarah,our parents make marriage compulsory in dis so called country we re in

I love my boyfriend,if only he. Can change,I will be with him,bt if he can't,I will leave his sorry ass

It is well with you @MojAyo...am short of words.

Please, I admit you love him but I think he's a psychopath (sorry to say)...Stay away from him.

HAVE A PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIFE.

adebayour26: It is well with you @MojAyo...am short of words.

Please, I admit you love him but I think he's a psychopath (sorry to say)...Stay away from him.

HAVE A PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIFE.

tanx dear,it will be noted,u re nt d first person to tell me he is nt well in d head.I saw ur email now

@op, how old are you?

Really, some people should learn how to advice themselves. No one in this situation would encourage you to go back. If really you are telling the truth then am amused.

So u mean you travelled to South africa just to live with someone because of financial stability?

Who paid for your trip down to south africa?

How did you guys meet?

So you mean you can't live without him?

Moreso, you need to be examined because this thing isn't normal.

gbanikiti: @op, how old are you?

Really, some people should learn how to advice themselves. No one in this situation would encourage you to go back. If really you are telling the truth then am amused.

So u mean you travelled to South africa just to live with someone because of financial stability?

Who paid for your trip down to south africa?

How did you guys meet?

So you mean you can't live without him?

Moreso, you need to be examined because this thing isn't normal.

hello,its my parents dat send me there for my school,so it reaches a point they re tired of sending me money,u gets me right

Pls guys,more advice should be rolling

I don't get you.

Is it primary school, secondary school or higher institution?

The mistakes was from you, you knew he was into illicit business and you decided to perch with him married or not just to meet your financial demands.

The truth still remains that you have to complete your studies and you still need him because your parents can't afford the bills.

Lemme ask again, how old are you?


Do you have other plans to raise funds and pay your bills when you get there?

@OP,

At this stage, you have to tell yourself some certain truths:

1. Your parents DO NOT KNOW what is in your best interest and are therefore not qualified to advice you on martial issues now

2. You do not know what is best for you at this stage

Free your self from your parents' influences, sit down and plan what you want life and how to move forward.

Until you do these, you will keep asking if you should go back to your boyfriend or not.

gbanikiti: I don't get you.

Is it primary school, secondary school or higher institution?

The mistakes was from you, you knew he was into illicit business and you decided to perch with him married or not just to meet your financial demands.

The truth still remains that you have to complete your studies and you still need him because your parents can't afford the bills.

Lemme ask again, how old are you?


Do you have other plans to raise funds and pay your bills when you get there?

I'm in university,its my parents dat re funding me since with my education bt since I got pregnant,I stopped,dis guy I'm talking about is irresponsible,I was d one feeding him catering for his needs even with me being heavily pregnant,he also stole money frm my bag,I'm self employed,I make my money everyday,I m thinking its becos of d little change dat I've then dat make him be with me,even with dat he always beat me with dat pregnancy,dear if I write all what dis guy did to me into a book,it will sell,my dad told me to leave him,dat he is irresponsible,dat I will find a better husband for myself in d future when I'm financially independent

bukatyne: @OP,

At this stage, you have to tell yourself some certain truths:

1. Your parents DO NOT KNOW what is in your best interest and are therefore not qualified to advice you on martial issues now

2. You do not know what is best for you at this stage

Free your self from your parents' influences, sit down and plan what you want life and how to move forward.

Until you do these, you will keep asking if you should go back to your boyfriend or not.

dear,I called my mum one on one yesterday,I told her all what my dad told me about leaving him and seeing a better man after,I let her see reasons of me nt wanting dat guy again in my life,cos if I can just remember all what dat guy did for me,I will be in a vry sad mood,she said she is in support of it dad d guy is nt someone proud of to call husband

MojAyo: dear,I called my mum....she said she is in support of it dad d guy is nt someone proud of to call husband

This is a lot of progress. Am happy for you.
You av a reasonable Dad & a listening Mum.

adebayour26:
This is a lot of progress. Am happy for you.
You av a reasonable Dad & a listening Mum.

tanx dear

MojAyo: ...my dad told me to leave him,dat he is irresponsible,dat I will find a better husband for myself in d future when I'm financially independent

MojAyo: dear,I called my mum one on one yesterday,I told her all what my dad told me about leaving him and seeing a better man after,I let her see reasons of me nt wanting dat guy again in my life,cos if I can just remember all what dat guy did for me,I will be in a vry sad mood,she said she is in support of it dad d guy is nt someone proud of to call husband

Thank GOD both parents have become wise.

MojAyo: dear,I called my mum one on one yesterday,I told her all what my dad told me about leaving him and seeing a better man after,I let her see reasons of me nt wanting dat guy again in my life,cos if I can just remember all what dat guy did for me,I will be in a vry sad mood,she said she is in support of it dad d guy is nt someone proud of to call husband

Thank God

ferhyntorlah: Thank GOD both parents have become wise.

yeah

MojAyo: dear,I called my mum one on one yesterday,I told her all what my dad told me about leaving him and seeing a better man after,I let her see reasons of me nt wanting dat guy again in my life,cos if I can just remember all what dat guy did for me,I will be in a vry sad mood,she said she is in support of it dad d guy is nt someone proud of to call husband

Thank God you now have a support system.

@MojAyo, Honestly, u av no problem again, it is all settled. Just plan better to face life...it's a good start.
If u ar yoruba, they 'll say: 'ti esin(horse) ba da ni, a ma n tun gun ni'....now mount the horse and try again.

are u sure u need any advice? obviously this man wont change and you're thinking of going back? na wa o

Godmystrength:
are u kidding? Please tell me you are joking o.

lol...she is serious

I really don't understand this whole story Cruz I see so many contradictions. 1.your parents pushed u to get a man bcuz they cudnt cater for your needs? 2. Also when you finally got one u tot was caring he sold all u goodies and properties including you BB phones'. you where working and he was spending your money.3. you thought he would change so you got pregnant for him 4. your parents were sending you money while u where with him. u also stated in a quote that God bless u with a little job you managed while pregnant. your parents asked u to move out when the same parents forcing u to go back. was it in SA your parents pushed u to go after a man or in Nigeria? Now,if u know u are so hard working to have worked as u said to gain all the properties u had that d guy sold and even worked for yourself while pregnant,why where u initially depending on your parents? why didn't u fend for yourself instead when they pushed u to find a man bcus they cudnt cater for your needs you quickly got urslf tangled. too many questions to ask u but leme say this...you can only get advice that will ease your pain if you share your story with sincerity. yes,some will abuse u if u say the story as it is but some will still have a better advice for u.