beolar: Pls,pple should not make it sound as if mum-inlaws are bad.if the situation warrants that they stay with U,pls accept them and their flaws.
The key thing is for the young couple to prepare their minds and determine to live peacefully with them.
I took my hubbys grandmother not his mum oo but paternal grandmum cos she raised him,she was alone and old cos my hubbys dad which is her only child had died yrs back,my husby had sisters but non of them had space in their homes ,they live in selfcontain apartment while we are blessed with 3bedroom flat all rooms ensuit,we took this decision because she can't wash her clothes anymore,she can't cook forherself ,@times she fall sick and nobody will inform us all these and many other conditions made us take her in.
Although it is not easy but we did our best for over two yrs,until dat day she slept and never woke up .I am so happy I did allow her in cos God had really blessed us ,I remember how she use to pray for us everymorning.
pls young couples,I know It might not be easy but nothing is impossible if u set ur mind to do it.

myads890: She has no reason to. Even if her husband is dead, the best solution will be to buy her a vibr*tor

dagentility: No way,what happened to the house she was living in before we got married. I love my privacy alot. If i wear bum short now,she go dey scream say i wan seduce her son.

dagentility: No way,what happened to the house she was living in before we got married. I love my privacy alot. If i wear bum short now,she go dey scream say i wan seduce her son.

missojugo:

Is it ideal to let a rat run free in a room full of cheese

dagentility: No way,what happened to the house she was living in before we got married. I love my privacy alot. If i wear bum short now,she go dey scream say i wan seduce her son.

owobokiri: We tend to blow this thing out of propoortion most times. A young gal is courting a guy and gets on well with the guys mother, pretending to find no problems with her presence in her guys place all the while. Then the marriage is solemnized and she turns a tiger finding faults with her every act all of a sudden. This just happened with a relative and I don't think the young gal is totally innocent. She knows why the woman was/is there! She just lost her husband and has no female issues. You don't expect her to go and die of lonliness in the village! It is not the ideal situation but be flexible sometimes! He is your husband, we all know, but he is somebodys son too! Everybody is saying no no no as if a mother in law is one wingless witch from hell, including ladies who will use the excuse of childbirth to bring in their mothers on almost a permanent basis. The man should take charge. You know and understand the two women, try to manage things in a matured way. While mothers shouldn't make their married childs home their permanent home unless situations like the above example forces them do so, any marriage that can only succed when the mother in law is treated as an outcast should not be consumated in the first place! You freedom loving ladies should find ways to accommodate your mother in laws. Your husbands came from a family, they didnt drop from the sky.

owobokiri:
We tend to blow this thing out of propoortion most times. A young gal is courting a guy and gets on well with the guys mother, pretending to find no problems with her presence in her guys place all the while. Then the marriage is solemnized and she turns a tiger finding faults with her every act all of a sudden. This just happened with a relative and I don't think the young gal is totally innocent. She knows why the woman was/is there! She just lost her husband and has no female issues. You don't expect her to go and die of lonliness in the village! It is not the ideal situation but be flexible sometimes! He is your husband, we all know, but he is somebodys son too! Everybody is saying no no no as if a mother in law is one wingless witch from hell, including ladies who will use the excuse of childbirth to bring in their mothers on almost a permanent basis. The man should take charge. You know and understand the two women, try to manage things in a matured way. While mothers shouldn't make their married childs home their permanent home unless situations like the above example forces them do so, any marriage that can only succed when the mother in law is treated as an outcast should not be consumated in the first place! You freedom loving ladies should find ways to accommodate your mother in laws. Your husbands came from a family, they didnt drop from the sky.

dagentility: No way,what happened to the house she was living in before we got married. I love my privacy alot. If i wear bum short now,she go dey scream say i wan seduce her son.

nathdim: What about a situation where a man lives in the city grew up in the city and builds a house of his own currently living with the mother and he decides to get married does the mother in law paves way for them I need good answers

Godmystrength: SO people know the kind of mothers they have and they know how difficult it is for them to even cope with them but they just expects that their spouse should be able to achieve that by default. It is not easy jare.

In my grandma's case, i am sure if it was my mummy that brought her mother and she behaves in like manner, my daddy won't even take half of the things my mummy is coping with. Imagine her still pounding yam at her age for my grandmother because that is what she wants to eat. she will not eat any poundo yam or machine yam o except she hears you pounding with mortal and pestle. if you give her eba, amala, semo etc,, she will carry the food to keep in her room and she will just be crying.

Sophyrocks:

The first bolded is very True. Some people have terrible mothers who are manipilative and controlling. This is very common with people whose mothers have been controlling them right before they even got married. But these same people expect you to cope with them just like that. In fact, interference from family/relatives is one of the major cause of divorce. People just have to learn how to be balanced and avoid interference at all cost.

At the 2nd bolded, God forbid o!! Your mum is over trying ooooo. Pounded yam every single time? Haba!! You have not heard of those that after preparing food for them, they will say No they dnt want to eat that one o, they want to eat something else. After all the ceremony of putting the food together? Is that not wickedness? A woman i know got stroke and died simply because she aged sooo quickly out of stress of caring for her husband's mother. As old as she was, she was still doing hard work, going to the market and cook. She has being caring for her since they got married. Now she is dead but the husband's mother is still alive o. All their children ran away from home because of how difficult their grandmother is. Who wan stay for that house dey do wetin? I have a feeling that some men purposely get married so as to bring a woman to care for their mothers till the end of time. SMH.

Godmystrength:
You are right jare. I don't think i can be as tolerant as she is. Imagine her saying she wants to start selling things. ask her where? In my mummy's shop o (My mummy has a shop built with her house where she sells provision when she comes back from work and during weekends). She wanted to take over the shop. When her wahala became too much, to avoid trouble, my mum had to vacate the shop for her. But she now also wants my mummy to be the one to go to the market to buy the things she will be selling in the shop. My mummy no gree that one o. Now the shop is there and nobody is using it and she is happy. You can imagine if that shop was my mum's only source of income. it won't have been easy for her to let go and that would have led to another trouble. Her other children don't even visit or call her and when they even call my daddy, they don't want to talk to her. And she sef no send them. Anytime you talk about money to her hearing, she will quickly rush to her room to go and count her money.

When you think about MIL ish, na just confusion things. Just that there are also very good MILs that you would even prefer them to your own mother.

Godmystrength: Imagine a woman that wont allow her own MIL in her matrimonial home but will now turn herself to mario in her son's house when she becomes MIL and now make the house hell for DIL because she will already be prepared and just assume that her DIL might be a replica of herself. She won't want to be treated the same way she treated her own MIL. May God just help us.

brabus: Yes - it makes life easier and reduces the risk of failed marriages.

It's better than having to talk to your ex-gf/bf when you're down.

Finding a good mother-in-law is the main issue. My mom lived with me for 2 years after my wedding and I'm glad she did. The problem with us is that we want to live our life in pretense, do not want our families and friends to see our failings. We want to conceal our inadequacies

Anyway, my marriage is thankful for my mom stayed a while after we tied the knot. She was there to take care of the kids while my spouse is learning how to be a mother from a real mother and not from a friend. I couldn't do that myself and there's no school in this life for that.

We learn the easiest way.

nickishire:

I can bet you that ur wife has a different story to tell. She is a good woman because i can imagine what she must have been through and she ws wise enough not to involve you.
Its not as if all mother in laws are bad, but its just that its not easy for the wife most of the time.
Btw u dont learn how to be a real mother. It comes naturally.