Are you advocating for gender roles considering that the same gender roles are more or less redundant in an equal world

there is no more difference between the sexes.. thats what we hear at least


the ladies have made strong points

it is fair for a man who is not contributing financially to take up a portion of the home chores.
what if he is content to be a househusband

apolonius: A woman solely funding the financial needs of the home when there is a healthy man is abnormal. Even when the man loses a job or is studying,there should be some little contribution and a clear understanding that a 'working' wife is supporting for a short time and never fully assuming that role of financial powering of the home.

By the way,op,please get busy and stop watching your neighbour as a movie!

pickabeau1: Are you advocating for gender roles considering that the same gender roles are more or less redundant in an equal world

there is no more difference between the sexes.. thats what we hear at least


the ladies have made strong points

it is fair for a man who is not contributing financially to take up a portion of the home chores.
what if he is content to be a househusband

The man leads,not RULE,the home. The woman FREELY supports because she loves him. This is scripturally justified for Christians.

A role reversal alters the foundational pivot that marriage as a permanent friendship of love should have.

For the women who are comfortable with role reversal,it is always going to be mere beautiful theories than an embraced practical style.

The truth is the great and grand ideas many share here on marriage and norms are not always what they practice.

apolonius:

The man leads,not RULE,the home. The woman FREELY supports because she loves him. This is scripturally justified for Christians.

A role reversal alters the foundational pivot that marriage as a permanent friendship of love should have.

For the women who are comfortable with role reversal,it is always going to be mere beautiful theories than an embraced practical style.

The truth is the great and grand ideas many share here on marriage and norms are not always what they practice.

Interesting.....


I agree with your conclusion however

Y wnt dey?...wen its nt their soul responsibility

crackhaus:
My brothers...please make money, work hard, and be the sole provider in your homes I beg you in the name of God.

This is how every woman thinks and acts when you leave the financing and providing to them. It doesn't happen suddenly, but believe me when I say this...it's only a matter of time before she starts calling you names.

You better beg them o!
Just as power dey sweet una for marriage, na so e dey SWEEEEEET us too o!
If he wanto CHOP my money, he better behave o!!!!
A man's blokos gets bigger as bread-winner. . . . .so does a woman feels like her poohcie gets tighter!

damiso: Make I no talk

pls share what is on your mind because it can save a family tomorrow

Kanwulia:

You better beg them o!
Just as power dey sweet una for marriage, na so e dey SWEEEEEET us too o!
If he wanto CHOP my money, he better behave o!!!!
A man's blokos gets bigger as bread-winner. . . . .so does a woman feels like her poohcie gets tighter!

lol

Blessedwhite:
pls share what is on your mind because it can save a family tomorrow

It's just human nature to complain or feel pained when you have sooo much stress or responsibilities on your shoulders.Its up to the spouse to choose to help relieve the stress and that's why these days women even want to contribute to the family purse so as not to make the pressure overwhelming on their spouses.

Why I said I will not talk is that on this thread I am baffled that people could say breadwinning is not naturally the woman's terrain she is just helping him and is not her role and then in other breadth say men have absolutely no right to complain when asked to help with the chores even if they pay 100% of the bills I am just a bit baffled ni.I though there was now no such thing as gender roles and chores are not the woman's role so why should breadwinning be seen as she 'helping' him when him doing chores is not seen as him 'helping' her?

Hmmm
what abt if the man is doin the house chores and the wife still see him as shit and a total nuisance and rain abuses on him without any reason.

Damiso
you amaze me. I really appreciate the fact you point out. Marriage is not a favour on each other part . It's a burden you choose to share and be part of .






Damiso kudos to You

Blessedwhite: Hmmm
what abt if the man is doin the house chores and the wife still see him as shit and a total nuisance and rain abuses on him without any reason.

As I said that's human nature and she is just playing out the mindset alot of women on NL tend to deny.Not saying we are all like that but really most of us actually tie respect to finance. Its just the reality and no matter how liberal or progressive people tend to want to portray that they are Nigerian women will find it difficult to respect a NO earning (note I used NO not Lower) husband.

Its just how are we conditioned heck most Nigerian men don't even respect no earning wives sef.You hear terms like 'what does she know sef other than to be spending my money" " that one just leave her does she know how hard money is to find". Doing chores or taking care of the homefront is just generally a thankless job and its just our mindset.

People riducule Stay at home mums not to talk of stay at home dads so no matter how much people say people should play to their strengths the reality is we as a people find it difficult to respect anyone not earning.

Even some parents tend to respect higher earning children Its just how we are.

very honest responses.. damiso

Blessedwhite: Damiso
you amaze me. I really appreciate the fact you point out. Marriage is not a favour on each other part . It's a burden you choose to share and be part of .






Damiso kudos to You

Thank you..that's just my point of view(it should not necessarily be everybody's though)

I dont see me stepping in to pay stuff for my family as me 'helping' my husband as its my house too abi.I want to earn so I can relieve the burden on him so we can TOGETHER build a home.He also does not see him bathing the kids or giving them dinner or loading the washing machine if I have to quickly go out as 'helping' its just what he needs to do as they are his kids too.

So where is the lazy word coming From?

Blessedwhite: So where is the lazy word coming From?

Me I don't know o

Kanwulia:

You better beg them o!
Just as power dey sweet una for marriage, na so e dey SWEEEEEET us too o!
If he wanto CHOP my money, he better behave o!!!!
A man's blokos gets bigger as bread-winner. . . . .so does a woman feels like her poohcie gets tighter!

Hmmmm...but that your gladiator foot wear though

crackhaus:


Hmmmm...but that your gladiator foot wear though

lol

what will you as a man do if your wife get too rude and full of abuses even in the present of your friends and family members what will you do ?

If you are not paying the bills, just respect yourself the same way a wife would. I expect every logical and practical person to understand this.

Blessedwhite: what will you as a man do if your wife get too rude and full of abuses even in the present of your friends and family members what will you do ?

When a husband abuses his wife in public, the general consensus is that she keeps quiet and refrain from making a retort until she gets home. I believe this tried and tested method is applicable to your question.

A man that cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel.

A wife won't respect a man that is not financially capable to provide, sustain and protect.

Can you change this situation and behaviour

Blessedwhite: Can you change this situation and behaviour

who will change it? the woman or the man?

Godmystrength: who will change it? the woman or the man?

it is a decision for both of them

because he has to be the provider of the house, not her.......but again in this financial time this should not be a issue. at least someone provide the food and the shelter.

Blessedwhite: I've notice it from my neighbor that when the wife have started to provide for her family and the man is not generating any fund and benefits the wife start nagging and making lot of trouble but if it's the the man that paying all the bills and caring for the family it become normal. Why is it like this pls.

A man is meant to fend and provide for his family. A woman is just a helpmate. A man who can't provide for his family is worse than an infidel and such man will not be respected. In a situation a man looses his job,if d wife is also working or has a business will help out at that time.that's y a man should do evrytin possible to provide for his wife and kids and also invest for the wife so as to av sometin to fall bak on wen need arises.

Damiso, thank you for your posts, if only we can get beyond our entitlement mentality, marriage wouldnt be endured as a lot of people have taken it to be.

Kanwulia:

You better beg them o!
Just as power dey sweet una for marriage, na so e dey SWEEEEEET us too o!
If he wanto CHOP my money, he better behave o!!!!
A man's blokos gets bigger as bread-winner. . . . .so does a woman feels like her poohcie gets tighter!

I guess they think that women do not want to dictate the tune too

damiso:

It's just human nature to complain or feel pained when you have sooo much stress or responsibilities on your shoulders.Its up to the spouse to choose to help relieve the stress and that's why these days women even want to contribute to the family purse so as not to make the pressure overwhelming on their spouses.

Why I said I will not talk is that on this thread I am baffled that people could say breadwinning is not naturally the woman's terrain she is just helping him and is not her role and then in other breadth say men have absolutely no right to complain when asked to help with the chores even if they pay 100% of the bills I am just a bit baffled ni.I though there was now no such thing as gender roles and chores are not the woman's role so why should breadwinning be seen as she 'helping' him when him doing chores is not seen as him 'helping' her?

Can you quote the particular post for reference?

I went through the thread and cannot see such

In my own opinion I think the key word to look out for should be APPRECIATION. If a woman takes up the running of the home maybe because the husband lost his job, I tink she deserves lots of support an apreciation from the man and not insensitivity and ill treatments.

I say this because nature made it dat the woman is always at the receiving end.(Citing dis instance from conception, the woman recieves the seed and nutures it to maturity.) Turnind the table around tends to put the woman through stress emotionally,physically and other wise. So the man sud not add to it by driving her nuts.

My candid advice to any man in such shoes is that for u to still have your respect, its a time to luv her more,care more and support more in every way you can. By this she will know u apreciate her and take away eVery big deal from the role change.

damiso:

It's just human nature to complain or feel pained when you have sooo much stress or responsibilities on your shoulders.Its up to the spouse to choose to help relieve the stress and that's why these days women even want to contribute to the family purse so as not to make the pressure overwhelming on their spouses.

Why I said I will not talk is that on this thread I am baffled that people could say breadwinning is not naturally the woman's terrain she is just helping him and is not her role and then in other breadth say men have absolutely no right to complain when asked to help with the chores even if they pay 100% of the bills I am just a bit baffled ni.I though there was now no such thing as gender roles and chores are not the woman's role so why should breadwinning be seen as she 'helping' him when him doing chores is not seen as him 'helping' her?

This same thread??
modified

bukatyne:

Can you quote the particular post for reference?

I went through the thread and cannot see such

zaragal: Y wnt dey?...wen its nt their soul responsibility

lilmax: Lazy men everywhere,she nags because its the responsibility of a man to provide for the family

Etc etc

Cant quote more jare.

Key word 'responsibility' .and as such some men too believe chores are the woman's 'responsibility'.Why are such men then crucified esp on NL when some people still have the mindset that providing is the man's 'responsibility'.

Note as my subsequent posts stated I dont share that opinion because I know if I become the sole breadwinner I would be grateful that at least someone CAN still pay the bills and I also know my husband even as a bread winner sees nothing demeaning in doing chores.

BUT I just thought to call out the fact that people who say providing is the man's responsibility should not be then upset when others say chores are the woman's responsibility.