Fehmy25s: Happy birthday dear wishing you the best life can offer. *return the winks*

Thanks Luv.

rezzy:

Happy Birthday dearie. May today bring you lots and lots of joy and laughter. Have a fun filled day.

Thank yoouuu, may ur day be filled with joy also.

@all dat showed me some luv on dis my special day. I say a very big thank you,wishing you all d best life can afford.

I never knew there was a reference on your point 6. A friend of mine male told me he will never marry. Not that he is a womanizer no.
I was really shocked when he said that. considering the fact that I came from Nigeria. The culture shock was much for me. I even branded him selfish. Thanks for pointing that out

I believe in d days of old life was far much simpler... To the fact dat u don't need a barrage of possessions in other to marry.... Dat is y u marry at a considerable young age.. basically jst as all ur hormones are acting up.. Logically is not like dat anymore....how can a man of 30 who is not married as a result of situations of d country... Av d tenacity to abstain 4rm sex.. It beats me cos @ dat age basically from 25 upwards...u are a full fledged adult.. Who all reproductive organs are fully functional to do what dey are mandated to do... It a usually a challenge... Wen it comes to d christian faith... I'm 27 still looking for a befitting Job.. So as to build my life and get married.... But der is one sin I struggle with everyday... And dat is d sin of fornication.. Brought abt by basic sexual urges... I feel dat if it was wen life was simpler in societal terms.. I would be married....already.. And I won't av to mind sexual intercourse at all..... Its really hard.. Dou I'm winning d battle.. But to tell u the truth it is exhausting....

Hmmm tat no 3 na wa oh.
Am already feeling tat way oh, everyting is so hard am feeling I shouldn't be married now oh, na my husband dey encourage me to hold on oh. Abi na d no 6 category I belong too, .

this marriage wahala is for naija ladies. They always carry marriage for head like government.

#team traditional marriage only

ChiJenyfa: do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers else u'll face de consequences alone. God won't come to ur rescue.

Good advice except for the part about bearing the consequences alone. We won't. God knows our frame that we are dust, the psalmist says. He condescends to help us even when we make mistakes and repent our errors.

olasmith10:

I as a Christian might end up bringing her to Christ.. or what do u think?

Your part as a Christian is to witness of Christ. As her husband, your job is to witness with her help of Christ not to witness to her. You would just be picking up heavy burdens otherwise.

tandj: Do not be unequaly yoked with an unbeliever is what is keeping many people single today,especially ladies.

Pls go back and reread ur bible very well.
Don't pick one verse like most of us do and give it a vague interpretation.

Pastors will tell ladies don't marry outside ur church,rather bring him to us.
Catholics will tell their gals don't marry non catholics. Infact,catholics case is the worst. Ur mum whom happened to be a christian mother(catholics know what I mean)is excommunicated from receiving holy communion and membership of christian mothers association(d inside caucaus of CWO). And since they value their membership more than their daugher's happiness, they will compel their daughters not to marry outside catholic church.
That's why we have so many of them littered everywhere.
Anglican, infact all d churches are very guilty of this.

So my question is, is marrying a christian outside ur church violating that so called verse"do not be .............

I pity gals that have fallen victim of this.
A man can afford to marry at 50yrs. So gals, go figure.

No one is forced to obey God. A believer can marry anybody they want. The Scriptures only tell you what you need to do to have less trouble and a fulfilled life.

disloman: Op!The topic of ur thread is misleading cos most or all d things u mentioned r told xcept u didn't go 4 marriage counselling or ur own marriage b iyawo poly bag.

Very funny: Most tyms what we are taught in marriage classes are the exact opposite. You are mostly told: "Marry your opposite; your spouse completes you etc. They dont tell you the first year of marriage is hard; no one even tells you there is more than one person out there for you; What you're told about sex in church is quite vague except for some christian marriage literature (act of marriage etc); and lastly no marriage counsellor tells you that marriage may not be for you". In a nut shell what the OP says is the funny truths you find out yourself...

Truth number 8

For the ladies..

If you know how to perform magic in the kitchen and also a good gymnast in the bedroom then you can almost be certain that your hubby is hooked.

Let him gallivant about,he will always run back to you. This is 98% guaranteed.

BluIvy: Interesting post!

Now explain this to me please, your point number 6:
1. I have always interpreted these verses with people who have no sexual feelings or for some reasons like disappointments, sexxual abuse history etc consciously decide not to get married.
Now how does a young, healthy women or men continue serving Christ without fornication if she or he is not meant for marriage?
2. How does one fulfill the sexxual urges if not married or even planning to be married?
3. Are you saying how they truly feel don't matter?
4. Are you saying in a nutshell sexx was not meant for everyone? Why then are most people given the urges to have sexx?

Everything is Grace. I tell u one Truth u can't believe "I don't have sex urge" u might say i'm nt a human being but Jesus in his word says not all can received it. God give me the grace nd i'm using it i accept it nd i'm going to make full use of it to be great for Christ.Yea u will talk of men of God dat married nd are great but d thing with those who decided nt to marry will be greater.Of a Truth Paul was d greatest of d apostles bcus He was single. My advice is If u are not given the Grace don't dare it. Wether u marry or Single all to the Glory of God.

mencade5: this marriage wahala is for naija ladies. They always carry marriage for head like government.

#team traditional marriage only

Number 2 and 6 so on point..

im not married though but i came to that conclusion a while ago

chimkaire:

hi dear, its been awhile. Hw r u?

mencade5: hi dear, its been awhile. Hw r u?

Fine, thank you.

chimkaire: Fine, thank you.

where have u been since? I just pm you now.

mencade5: where have u been since? I just pm you now.

Been around...seen the pm

Nice read

chimkaire: Been around...seen the pm

i doubt if you have been around. Tell me true jor.

I just send another to you

Ashonibarenla:

hmm..u landed me a whole bunch of scare here...is marriage that hard?

It is not required to be. It is hard or easy depending on who you choose to do life with.

sunnyshayne:

Bross, marriage is not what they read on paper, it's a practical thing. No matter your theoretical know how you will fail without practicals. Please marry.

yea i knw but i stil stand by d fact dat it isnt only married ppl dat wud understand wat d op wrote. haba stuff happens in marriage, yes we knw bt mnimising suprises in marriage calls for preparation abi na lie? at list i gat parents n hav lived wit odas.
in as much as experiencin it practikal is key, havin an idea first wud giv one a thumbs up. ma tots though

ihedinobi2: Ever wish you had the answers to a test before you walked into the classroom? Maybe some of you did have the answers, but you better keep that to yourself. I took some really hard tests during my college tenure. An engineering curriculum will do that. And if you spent time in college you remember review days. The professor would walk into a class full of students (some of which I had never seen) and give some insights about the impending test. Miss review day, and it would be foolish to expect a passing grade. But it never failed. I would follow the guideline. I would study the handout. But on the day of the exam, the professor would put the exam on my desk…and there it was. A foreign formula or equation I had never seen. At least one I did not see on the study guide. Looking back, I realize something…the teacher did not intend for the study guide to be comprehensive. It was simply not possible to include everything from the required reading, class notes, and lectures. Such is the case with the church and marriage. I am grateful for the foundation the church gave me in regards to marriage. It was a good study guide. But there some things on the test I did not learn until marriage began. So, I am going to give you some answers to the test that some of you might not expect to see. I grew up in church. I spent most of my time with Christian people. I was told much about marriage. But these 7 truths about marriage I never heard in church.



1.) Sex is a gift from God. Explore It.

Make no mistake…God created sex. But through the years, God’s people have allowed Satan to steal this gift. Without a fight. I was never educated about sex…and I grew up in a Christian family. My framework for sex was built by my friends at school and the movies I watched. Big UH OH. I still struggle with enjoying the fullness of sex today because of the cloud of lies formed during my teenage years.

It is time for God’s people to take back the gift of sex. The lies surrounding it are ruining lives and ruining marriages. If you are married, let me challenge you to explore sex. Explore the fullness of it for the glory of God. Pray for sexual intimacy with your spouse.

Parents…it is time to stop allowing Satan to define sex for our children. Educate them. Start early. The average child is exposed to pornography at age 11. Eleven!! And many parents wait until high school to have “the talk” with them. At that point, you are not building a foundation for sex, but trying to destroy a foundation Satan has already built.


Church leaders…I am convinced of this. The situation in our culture today is too dire to allow parents to override you here. Talk about sex. If parents refuse to educate their children, then you do it. Do not let Satan beat you to the punch. A false understanding of sex is destroying our young people. It is destroying our nation. It is destroying our world. And we are doing nothing! Sex is a beautiful gift created by God for a man and a woman that have vowed to spend the rest of their earthly lives with one another. If you are married…open this gift and enjoy the fullness of it.




2.) There is more than one person out there for you.

Soul mates are made…not born. I am not sure where this idea of soul mate originated, but it is false. Maintaining a healthy relationship is more about commitment than perfection. Every person on earth has imperfections. And the reality is we could spend our lives with more than one person.


Tiffani (my wife) is not perfect. There are nuances about her that frustrate me. But I have realized these frustrations are really a result of my imperfections. I love her so much. And I love her more everyday. I am committed to her.

I meet too many young people that are waiting for something that is not real. “I just couldn’t marry her because she smacked her food.” “He just wasn’t the one…he had this weird twitch when he smiled. But I know my soul mate is still out there. I just have to keep looking.”

Or you might have just missed him or her. What if God does not want you to find a perfect person, but find an imperfect person that will draw you closer to Him? What if God desires you to marry a person with flaws to expose yours?

What if God wants to teach you the value and life found in committing to one person forever, not the exhausting pursuit of searching your entire life to find the perfect person?

Soul mates are made…not born.




3.) The first year of marriage is hard…really hard.

What have we done? Are we going to make it? Why is this so hard? All questions I asked myself many times during my first year of marriage. We were arguing. We were fighting. It was really hard. And every day I thought something was wrong. I thought we had a bad marriage. Nobody warned me about the first year. But take this as a warning…the first year of marriage is difficult. If you are in the first year of marriage and thinking about giving up…congratulations. You are now…married!

But let me encourage you…do not give up. Everyone struggles. You are not unique. Persevere. There are better days coming. Your marriage will get better. Do not walk out. If you walk out now you disqualify yourself (and your spouse) from years of joy. Stick with it.



4.) A spouse does not complete you

I hate you Jerry Maguire. You have brainwashed a generation of people to believe a lie. Spouses do not complete people. I bought this lie, and it wasn’t until I let go of any notion my wife could fill some void that I was able to truly love her. Until then, I was always frustrated. I expected Tiffani to do something she was incapable of
doing.

If you are empty, broken, or insecure, and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to your problems…buckle up. It will be a bumpy ride. Only God can fill those voids. You will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if your spouse’s job is to complete you.



5.) Marry somebody with similar goals, dreams, and passions.

Marry somebody that is a Christian, yes. But I would go even further. Marry somebody with similar passions and dreams. Now, I understand this breaks down at some point. People are not machines. No two people are going to want exactly the same thing in life. However, if you love foreign missions and your potential spouse hates going overseas, some tension will arise. Synergy is extremely important in a marriage. If your spouse has the same vision as you, they will understand your struggles and support your pursuits. They will encourage your walk. They will be empathetic. There is much power in two people living life with the same goals, dreams, and passions for life.



6.) Marriage is not for everybody.

Paul talks about this in I Corinthians 7. He tells the church at Corinth to remain in the situation they are in. If unmarried, then stay unmarried. If married, then stay married. He later says this… Even better? I never heard that in church. Maybe it is time for God’s people to accept the reality that God has not called everyone to marry. I have talked with young men and women that are so concerned with finding a spouse. It consumes them. And most of the pressure comes from…US. The church. Once a person reaches mid- twenties, we assume something is wrong with them if they have not married. They must have a terrible flaw.

“Bless your heart. You are almost 30 and not married? I know this must be hard!?”

Shame on us. I am worried many failed marriages are a result of people allowing the pressure of marriage to draw them into something God did not design them for. Marriage is holy and good, but it is also possible to follow Jesus without a spouse.



7.) The wedding day is a lie…don’t buy it.

I love weddings. I love officiating them. It is a rare moment where I get to make a divine proclamation that forever changes the status of two people. Powerful.

But in an increasingly individualistic, “me” culture, weddings create a potentially dangerous situation. “Every girl lives for her wedding day.” It is all about the bride and groom. Everyone looks at them. Encourages them. Congratulates them.

Many couples have bought the lie of the wedding day…it is all about me. But marriage is at odds with this mindset. A successful wedding day is one where everyone serves you. A successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse. The wedding day is a day where the spotlight is on you. Marriage has no spotlight. The wedding day is about saying a bunch of words that most couples never take seriously. Marriage is about putting the words into action. The wedding day is joyous and celebratory. Many seasons of marriage are about persevering and not letting go through the storms.

Embrace your wedding day. Prepare for it. Celebrate it. But do not make the mistake of believing the lie. After your 20 minutes of fame, the spotlight is gone forever. It is no longer about you (and this is a good thing…you will see).

[url=frankmatthewpowell.com/truths-sex-marriage-never-learned-church/]Source[/url]

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Bros I beg na which marriage school u go? U r so so on point.

I don't think I can stay without marriage becoz I love sex if not is better to be alone marriage is harder than seeking 4 a job in naija.

GlorifiedTunde: I have not read your entire writeup but I don't agree with number 6.

Marriage is an institution made by God for everyone who desires it. The fact that some are outgrown already or didn't get it right doesn't mean God didn't plan them for marriage. The Bible never contradicts itself, and it says Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Of course if one can cope without it, no problem. But the issue is that people do not know the rudiments of relationship and marriage, so they mess up (in case of those who have heartbreaks) or don't search or accept proposals (in case of the overspiritual ones); then they become old before they know it.

Speaking on soul mates, yes the word was invented by humans, but the Bible also says "bone of bone, flesh of flesh" or " the missing rib". If you find your match, you discover that inspite your differences you can't do without him or her, like there's a perfect blend between two imperfect people - then you can say they're soulmates. But this is not discovered until after a while of relationship.
The main problem is that we all approach marriage in the carnal way, following textbook approaches without remembering that the founder of marriage, GOD has His own laid down approach. Not until then, we'll always have marriages going wrong!

Actually you are agreeing with #6. It is true that some people who should get married are failing to do so in time. Their own problems are addressed by the other points. People are judging their future spouses by the wrong criteria and holding the wrong expectations of marriage. The author addresses that.

wow

Putting Marriage in a box is the problem.

1. Sex a gift from God? When all you guys do is make sex such a big deal? I find it hard how you would religiously define a sex class and say what it intends to achieve. Its already a recepie for disaster when two adults have to wait until there is no escape route before they find out that one of them usually has pain during intercourse. Or that na when mama Ejiro go see say papa ejiro dey like to use cane on top bed for all the talk of explore your sexuality what if you find out in your marriage that you like it banana-ish and you partner likes it pawpaw-tically?

2. Simply say the perfect person does not exist and marriage is a compromise. Since when does God choose anything for anybody?

3. The first year of marriage is hard. Well at least it is for those that think they have to just pray about it and forget that he would take a piss even with the toilet seat down. 3 toilet infections later all the no-one like you singing has stopped in the house. Its hard because the most people do not take the time to know who their partners really are. Why? well pastor said brother emmanuel should only visit sister vero if he goes with another brother or two sisters.

4. 5. 6. 7. ...........

tandj: Do not be unequaly yoked with an unbeliever is what is keeping many people single today,especially ladies.

Pls go back and reread ur bible very well.
Don't pick one verse like most of us do and give it a vague interpretation.

Pastors will tell ladies don't marry outside ur church,rather bring him to us.
Catholics will tell their gals don't marry non catholics. Infact,catholics case is the worst. Ur mum whom happened to be a christian mother(catholics know what I mean)is excommunicated from receiving holy communion and membership of christian mothers association(d inside caucaus of CWO). And since they value their membership more than their daugher's happiness, they will compel their daughters not to marry outside catholic church.
That's why we have so many of them littered everywhere.
Anglican, infact all d churches are very guilty of this.

So my question is, is marrying a christian outside ur church violating that so called verse"do not be .............

I pity gals that have fallen victim of this.
A man can afford to marry at 50yrs. So gals, go figure.

Errh No Wonder!

Just because their mamas don't understand what it mean to marry in the Lord which they understood as "marry in our church,"

smh

Chrisbenogor: Putting Marriage in a box is the problem.

1. Sex a gift from God? When all you guys do is make sex such a big deal? I find it hard how you would religiously define a sex class and say what it intends to achieve. Its already a recepie for disaster when two adults have to wait until there is no escape route before they find out that one of them usually has pain during intercourse. Or that na when mama Ejiro go see say papa ejiro dey like to use cane on top bed for all the talk of explore your sexuality what if you find out in your marriage that you like it banana-ish and you partner likes it pawpaw-tically?

2. Simply say the perfect person does not exist and marriage is a compromise. Since when does God choose anything for anybody?

3. The first year of marriage is hard. Well at least it is for those that think they have to just pray about it and forget that he would take a piss even with the toilet seat down. 3 toilet infections later all the no-one like you singing has stopped in the house. Its hard because the most people do not take the time to know who their partners really are. Why? well pastor said brother emmanuel should only visit sister vero if he goes with another brother or two sisters.

4. 5. 6. 7. ...........

1. Marriage is not about you and what you like.

2. The perfect person is the person with whom you achieve the purpose of your existence. Their flaws are as perfect for you as their strengths.

3. Marriage is hard when you marry for the wrong reasons and have the wrong expectations. It's like trying to dig with a fork or a pin.

4, 5, 6, 7,...

I think marriage is for those who want it. Hence, one can choose not to be married. Am I wrong?