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10 Mistakes You Must Never Make In A Long Distance relationship - Romance - Nairaland

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10 Mistakes You Must Never Make In A Long Distance relationship by Nobody: 9:12pm On Aug 01, 2014
Every relationship has its own set of strengths and weaknesses. But a long distance relationship has to bear the additional burden of physical separation over long stretches of time. When two people in love are unable to be around each other physically, it leaves the relationship open to attacks of emotional and physical loneliness. In such a scenario, it becomes important to shun behaviour that can build up distrust and jealousy and ultimately ruin a lovely relationship.
.
So, go through the following mistakes most long distance couples make and avoid them, if your want to keep your relationship intact.
.
TIP: The biggest mistake you can make in a long distance relationship is to let phone conversations become boring because it's only conversation that keeps you connected.
.
1. Breathing down the neck of your partner
Every relationship – whether separated by distance or not – requires that two individuals give each other enough space to grow. However, when you have been away from each other for a long time, you might want to be clued into everything that your partner is doing – what he did over the weekend, who were the friends she went out with for shopping or what is for dinner tonight. While it is a good idea to be in touch on daily basis, prying too much into your partner’s routine or social life may put him or her off the relationship.
.
2. Appearing insecure
If you are insecure about the people your partner is meeting while living away from you, then it is a sign, that you are not emotionally mature enough for a long distance relationship. If you keep nagging your partner about how miserable it is for the two of you and how the other couples have it so well, it is bound to upset him or her that you feel so miserable about the relationship. Instead, look at the positive side to a long-distance relationship and take heart, that a meeting after a period of absence will be that much sweeter.
.
3. Making allegations of infidelity
Once the seeds of suspicion have been planted in your relationship, it is the beginning of the end. If you are suspicious of your partner’s co-workers, friends, flat mates and other social acquaintances, it means that you do not trust your partner wholeheartedly. Worse still, if you charge your partner with being unfaithful to you, without any concrete evidence, it means that the faith in your relationship has gone and every relationship –long distance or not – is bound to collapse without the foundation stone of trust.
.
4. Taking your partner for granted
While it is a mistake to nag your partner about his or her life away from you, it is equally fatal to take your lover for granted. It is a fact, that every relationship needs to be nurtured in order to blossom, but in a long distance relationship, it is especially crucial that you put in that extra bit of effort, to keep it going. Be creative in coming up with romantic ideas to spice up your relationship, even if it is separated by distance.
.
5. Not involving your partner in the relationship
When the two of you are living separately, it is easy to fall into the habit of taking decisions on your own. But take care to involve you partner, in matters where you both are concerned. For instance, ask your lover what he or she thinks of a Caribbean cruise the next time you can be together. Or inform your partner before you make any changes to a joint bank or credit card account.
.
6. Adopting a wait-and-see stance
Very often, couples living away from each other, do not believe that their relationship can work, but at the same time they are reluctant to let go of each other. If you keep sitting on the fence, waiting to see how things might turn out, remember that this is not a relationship
at all and will get you nowhere.
.
7. Saving all your money for later
If it is within your means, make sure that you can meet up with your partner as often as possible. It makes no sense, saving your money now and planning to spend it later, when you have agreed that this relationship is your future. So why not spend on it?
.
8. Not being in touch
Pick up your partner’s phone calls, even if it is to say that you’ll be calling back. Keep in touch with each other by phone, email and text messages. A good way of bridging the distance just a little, is to use a web cam, since this offers a way to visually communicate with each other in real time.
.
9. Having an affair yourself
The biggest mistake, in my opinion, is to look for a third person to fill in for your partner, when he or she is not around. By allowing an outsider to enter your life – however briefly – you are breaking the basic bond of mutual trust that holds two people together. This is not
only cheating on your partner, but an indication that you do not believe in the relationship yourself.
.
10. Not having enough faith in the relationship
There is no dearth of pessimists, who are ready to write off long distance relationships as impractical and thus impossible to maintain. Don’t believe all that critics say, because once you give in to their negative comments, you will always feel haunted by its risks – both imagined and real – until it will actually destroy your relationship.
.
So if and when you do decide to enter into a long distance relationship, give it your all and it will surely enrich your life. These are some of the mistakes most common in a long distance relationship which needs that much more effort to keep it going because of the pressures exerted by time and distance. However, this is not to say that long distance relationships are doomed from the start. If couples trust each other and make that extra effort to keep the fire burning, then, very few romantic encounters are as ecstatic as those, which come after periods of separation.

1 Like

Re: 10 Mistakes You Must Never Make In A Long Distance relationship by MizMyColi(f): 9:19pm On Aug 01, 2014
Noted, cool just incase.
Re: 10 Mistakes You Must Never Make In A Long Distance relationship by hakeem4(m): 9:22pm On Aug 01, 2014
Cool
dorosola: Every relationship has its own set of strengths and weaknesses. But a long distance relationship has to bear the additional burden of physical separation over long stretches of time. When two people in love are unable to be around each other physically, it leaves the relationship open to attacks of emotional and physical loneliness. In such a scenario, it becomes important to shun behaviour that can build up distrust and jealousy and ultimately ruin a lovely relationship.
.
So, go through the following mistakes most long distance couples make and avoid them, if your want to keep your relationship intact.
.
TIP: The biggest mistake you can make in a long distance relationship is to let phone conversations become boring because it's only conversation that keeps you connected.
.
1. Breathing down the neck of your partner
Every relationship – whether separated by distance or not – requires that two individuals give each other enough space to grow. However, when you have been away from each other for a long time, you might want to be clued into everything that your partner is doing – what he did over the weekend, who were the friends she went out with for shopping or what is for dinner tonight. While it is a good idea to be in touch on daily basis, prying too much into y

our partner’s routine or social life may put him or her off the relationship.
.
2. Appearing insecure
If you are insecure about the people your partner is meeting while living away from you, then it is a sign, that you are not emotionally mature enough for a long distance relationship. If you keep nagging your partner about how miserable it is for the two of you and how the other couples have it so well, it is bound to upset him or her that you feel so miserable about the relationship. Instead, look at the positive side to a long-distance relationship and take heart, that a meeting after a period of absence will be that much sweeter.
.
3. Making allegations of infidelity
Once the seeds of suspicion have been planted in your relationship, it is the beginning of the end. If you are suspicious of your partner’s co-workers, friends, flat mates and other social acquaintances, it means that you do not trust your partner wholeheartedly. Worse still, if you charge your partner with being unfaithful to you, without any concrete evidence, it means that the faith in your relationship has gone and every relationship –long distance or not – is bound to collapse without the foundation stone of trust.
.
4. Taking your partner for granted
While it is a mistake to nag your partner about his or her life away from you, it is equally fatal to take your lover for granted. It is a fact, that every relationship needs to be nurtured in order to blossom, but in a long distance relationship, it is especially crucial that you put in that extra bit of effort, to keep it going. Be creative in coming up with romantic ideas to spice up your relationship, even if it is separated by distance.
.
5. Not involving your partner in the relationship
When the two of you are living separately, it is easy to fall into the habit of taking decisions on your own. But take care to involve you partner, in matters where you both are concerned. For instance, ask your lover what he or she thinks of a Caribbean cruise the next time you can be together. Or inform your partner before you make any changes to a joint bank or credit card account.
.
6. Adopting a wait-and-see stance
Very often, couples living away from each other, do not believe that their relationship can work, but at the same time they are reluctant to let go of each other. If you keep sitting on the fence, waiting to see how things might turn out, remember that this is not a relationship
at all and will get you nowhere.
.
7. Saving all your money for later
If it is within your means, make sure that you can meet up with your partner as often as possible. It makes no sense, saving your money now and planning to spend it later, when you have agreed that this relationship is your future. So why not spend on it?
.
8. Not being in touch
Pick up your partner’s phone calls, even if it is to say that you’ll be calling back. Keep in touch with each other by phone, email and text messages. A good way of bridging the distance just a little, is to use a web cam, since this offers a way to visually communicate with each other in real time.
.
9. Having an affair yourself
The biggest mistake, in my opinion, is to look for a third person to fill in for your partner, when he or she is not around. By allowing an outsider to enter your life – however briefly – you are breaking the basic bond of mutual trust that holds two people together. This is not
only cheating on your partner, but an indication that you do not believe in the relationship yourself.
.
10. Not having enough faith in the relationship
There is no dearth of pessimists, who are ready to write off long distance relationships as impractical and thus impossible to maintain. Don’t believe all that critics say, because once you give in to their negative comments, you will always feel haunted by its risks – both imagined and real – until it will actually destroy your relationship.
.
So if and when you do decide to enter into a long distance relationship, give it your all and it will surely enrich your life. These are some of the mistakes most common in a long distance relationship which needs that much more effort to keep it going because of the pressures exerted by time and distance. However, this is not to say that long distance relationships are doomed from the start. If couples trust each other and make that extra effort to keep the fire burning, then, very few romantic encounters are as ecstatic as those, which come after periods of separation.
Re: 10 Mistakes You Must Never Make In A Long Distance relationship by gbemmie09(f): 9:25pm On Aug 01, 2014
Communication is the key to every successful relationship.

3 Likes

Re: 10 Mistakes You Must Never Make In A Long Distance relationship by Miner13: 9:33pm On Aug 01, 2014
gbemmie09: Communication is the key to every successful relationship.

helo
Re: 10 Mistakes You Must Never Make In A Long Distance relationship by PheezyLee(m): 10:12pm On Aug 01, 2014
MizMyColi: Noted, cool just incase.
i took my time 2digest d info jst 'cos of u! m api u did too *winks

1 Like

Re: 10 Mistakes You Must Never Make In A Long Distance relationship by Lobolintin(m): 11:04pm On Aug 01, 2014
Bad OP..... Best trend ever... 100% right.... Am the king of distance relationship... Almost all my ex were distance packages , and this law is always my bond, but what breaks us a lot is always early marital wahala from their parents , igbo things now...
Re: 10 Mistakes You Must Never Make In A Long Distance relationship by Nobody: 2:19am On Aug 02, 2014
True.
Re: 10 Mistakes You Must Never Make In A Long Distance relationship by omicron(m): 7:12am On Aug 02, 2014
Nice tips. I like the part: 'pick up your partner's phone, even if to say I will call back'.

(1) (Reply)

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