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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate (1457 Views)
4 Ways To Look Available–not Desperate / Characters Ladies Of Marriageable Age Exhibit When Desperate For Husbands / Single & Searching But Not Desperate. (2) (3) (4)
4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Nobody: 8:37am On Aug 04, 2014 |
What can a single person do to make themselves “available” without looking desperate? You’re approaching your mid-twenties as a single young adult. It seems like everyone around you is getting ushered into the world of love and marriage, while you find yourself wondering if you will ever find the one. You’re torn between trusting God to bring you the right one- and working it in the world of love and dating. So, how exactly does a single young adult make themselves available without seeming too desperate? The only way to avoid looking desperate is to stop believing that you are, because a person will appear as desperate as they feel. The more fixated you are on finding love and obsessed about entering marriage, the more desperate you will appear, because eventually, the things that you think about most start seeping into every part of your life for the whole world to see. Here are some ways to stop fixating on your fears and begin focusing on your future: 1. Exchange your fear for trust: When you are driven by fear, you live a desperate life. In an attempt to save your future from the fear of isolation, you can find yourself taking control of everything and everyone in your life. Fear can drive you to make harmful choices. It can push you to give your heart away too quickly and cause you to take risks you were never intended to take. The first step to being gracefully available is in exchanging your fear for trust in God- trusting that He knows the way, and that His plan for your life is always what’s best. Exchanging fear for trust will ultimately free you to live abundantly rather than desperately. 2. Get involved in things you love: The best way to meet a potential match is to get out there and do what you love. Find activities and passions that resonate with your heart, because there, you will find people who connect with your heart. The best relationships are made up of two people with similar passions and shared interests. Invest in the kind of places that will draw you to these kinds of people, all the while quenching your heart with the things you love the most. 3. Be open to making new friends: Christian young adults can be terrified of male/female friendships. Afraid of risking a broken heart, or looking inappropriate to the innocent passerby, it’s easy to avoid friendships that could very well be the foundation of finding a future mate. Take off the pressure of getting married, and be open to making friends. Whether or not these friendships lead to marriage, they can lead to encouragement, sharpening, and an all-around broadening of horizons. 4. Don’t be shy about singleness: It’s okay to spread the word about your singleness, in fact, I recommend it! Don’t hide from the fact that you are not in a relationship, embrace it. There will be a time and place to give your life to another, but until then, focus on giving your life to the world around you. Singleness is a time of growth, maturity, and learning about yourself- things are easy to miss out on when you are focused on finding the one. Don’t lose yourself in the pursuit of love, rather take the time to find yourself. At the end of the day, love happens when you’re least expecting it- but right when you need it the most. God knows where you are at and is perfectly in tune with you need. Following Him will only get you closer to that place. Until then, trust Him, pursue your passions, make friends, embrace singleness- and enjoy the ride. For all you know, love might just be right around the corner. Source>>> http://www.whonaija.com/2014/08/4-ways-to-look-available-not-desperate.html |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Nobody: 8:58am On Aug 04, 2014 |
I refuse to be ashamed of being single. Especially now that I am a bit depressed. |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by prettyem(f): 9:37am On Aug 04, 2014 |
Nice write-up. Encouraging....i'v never been ashamed of being single really,my esteem na 100% daily. God's time is still and will ever be d best. Allow God to work on u b4 u settle wif dat spouse. |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Nobody: 10:06am On Aug 04, 2014 |
2 Likes |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by jennylove7575(f): 10:38am On Aug 04, 2014 |
Na wah o, this Nigerian mentality sef about single ladies...its just absurd..as far as am concern, there is nothing wrong in being single and happy. Than tie the knot with a man u can't make sense of...hmmm..naija still has a long way to go in terms of exposure and adapting to changing world. |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Houseofglam7(f): 10:51am On Aug 04, 2014 |
Naetochukwu: I refuse to be ashamed of being single.Depression ain't good. Oya come make we take vacation to Liberia. |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Liability(m): 11:25am On Aug 04, 2014 |
hmmm...another list. I like my single life and am proud to say it loud. |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Bootybuttchic(f): 5:07pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Liability: hmmm...another list.yeah na...its actually kinda good 4 u....who wanna mingle with a liabilty ...more like a pest to d rest dont worry God will send u dat right man at d right time...which is soon....been single doesnt make u a lesser person hun 1 Like |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Liability(m): 5:30pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Bootybuttchic: yeah na...its actually kinda good 4 u....who wanna mingle with a liabilty ...more like a pesttanx, madam shiit hole |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by egopersonified(f): 6:01pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Houseofglam7: He didnt say he wants to commit suicide oh. 1 Like |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by AGgal(f): 6:16pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Bootybuttchic(f): 7:31pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Liability: tanx, madam shiit holeu welkum ...at least a shiit hole has its responsibilities.....shitting on liabilities 1 Like |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Liability(m): 7:47pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Bootybuttchic: u welkum ...at least a shiit hole has its responsibilities.....shitting on liabilities*shows her my hands* talk to my hands |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Bootybuttchic(f): 7:52pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Liability: *shows her my hands**sniffs hand*chisos.....u shlda included ur job in dat thread of worst jobs.....dont tell me u scrape pubs 1 Like |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by OohMpa: 9:49pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Bootybuttchic: *sniffs hand*chisos.....u shlda included ur job in dat thread of worst jobs.....dont tell me u scrape pubs Liability: *shows her my hands*talk to my hands You girls need to be punished. Get into Ooh Mpa room and shut the door..... *pulls down pants* |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Houseofglam7(f): 9:53pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
egopersonified: |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Bootybuttchic(f): 9:56pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
OohMpa:oman pa pa....u no well |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Nobody: 10:46pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
egopersonified:madam egopersonified. Persecuting the righteous since 1941. |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by chymystique(f): 10:57pm On Aug 04, 2014 |
Nice tips Aktor365. But when some ladies are desperate this tips won't work oo.. I seriously don't see why someone should be shy of being single.. What matters is to b happy with one's self first.. For now Singlehood makes me happier than relationships anyway |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Nobody: 1:32am On Aug 05, 2014 |
Being single is only the absence of the opposite sex from your life but not the absence of happiness, fun, love and freedom. So, I see no reason why any woman should be desperate because she's single. |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by egopersonified(f): 11:46am On Aug 05, 2014 |
krall: madam egopersonified. Persecuting the righteous since 1941. Krall is not solely responsible for anything he posts or uploads on nairaland, his village people have been making sure of that since 2005. Btw, how you dey? |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by femi4: 12:11pm On Aug 05, 2014 |
prettyem: Nice write-up.Accept that proposal, stop waiting for Mr perfect! 1 Like |
Re: 4 Ways To Look Available, Not Desperate by Nobody: 1:20pm On Aug 05, 2014 |
egopersonified:did you connive with my "village people" to tie me down? Av been around just watching. |
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