op teach him. tell him how AY did it for you. head mouth action etc

Safari29: op teach him. tell him how AY did it for you. head mouth action etc

@OP- i don't think it will be a good idea to mention AY's name to your man o (as in ''this is how AY did it for me'')

@ op, u problem isn't new n its not abt organ size.

I will explain sumtins wit a lil story: I am blessed wit a gud organ, I am capable of pleasing any girl (at least I read dia expression during sex n stories from dia friends) howeva, sumtym last year, I started havin sex wit a girl I av bin friends 4 a long tym, my God dat was d worst experience I eva had, we were not compactible sexually, anytym we get to d bedroom, I will notice she gets nervous, but outside d bedroom, we were very lovely, she likes rough play to sum extent just like me but d sex was really bad.

Wat we did:
We had a long discussion on how to go abt it, n we were not embarrassed since we have bin gud friends n we ar adults, we later resolve to remain friends n if d need be we can have sex but it shudnt be our focal point, we ar free to see oda pple (Now don't get dis wrong, we were not committed to each oda, we were just having fun). In ur case, I tink dialogue is important n as adults, wen u dialogue, u can cum up wit reasonable resolutions abandoning d relationship is not d best idea like in my case.

Shalom!!! Hope u settle ur problems n remain togeda.

mcdreeezy: Hmm, so I'm soundin weird? That's what I believe sha

You all right my dear.

@OP, as mcdreezy as said, those connection you didn't feel was because to compare two different people for same thing and the pleasure of sex thing from your AY or so has not left your imagination, once you forget everything about AY and so intimate satisfaction, then you shall start feeling the connection between you and Shola. An if for some months you still can feel it, it means you do not really love Shola.

Sexual satisfaction/connection is not about the real act itself but the affection of love that attracts one party to another. Let give you a scenarios, if you really loves Shola better than AY, you will never be satisfied no matter how good AY is because your mind is not sexally attarcted to him. The case is, whether you are accepting it or not you place sexual satisfaction above other qualities .

For marriage, as mcdreezy had earlier said, sex shouldnt be priority in any marriage because as the marriage grows on with her challenges sex will become less and less important as those other qualities will start to more important than others. To be candid sex and money can only become VERY IMPORTANT after other good qualities are present, if not, the marriage will start collapsing [b] because there will be reduction in sex and money because of the lack of other good attitude and behaviours. Wife refusing her husband sex because of some disagreement, husband abusing wife (beats, rape, etc) because of lack of manner, disagreement all over the place......

My dear, the first and foremost thing to consider for marriage is a person (lady/man) with attitudes/characters you love, hard working & commitment, etc because when you eventually developed love towards each (because genieue love is built over a period of time not develop because of some likness) sex becomes enjoyable and satisfactory and with both couples helping each other finance become less burden.

Wish you best in your choice of marriage.

babysugar1: @OP, the issue here is dat u kip Comparing both AY with Shola. Just try nd forget the AY guy for now and concentrate on shola cos der is more to a relationship nd sex. Don't get mi wrong, sex is important too. Why not try to take control wen it come to sex, afterall u knw hw u like it, u can always lead him on by taking charge.

Noted. Thanks

Safari29: op teach him. tell him how AY did it for you. head mouth action etc

Lol, hopefully he will listen

Henrypraise: @ op, u problem isn't new n its not abt organ size.

I will explain sumtins wit a lil story: I am blessed wit a gud organ, I am capable of pleasing any girl (at least I read dia expression during sex n stories from dia friends) howeva, sumtym last year, I started havin sex wit a girl I av bin friends 4 a long tym, my God dat was d worst experience I eva had, we were not compactible sexually, anytym we get to d bedroom, I will notice she gets nervous, but outside d bedroom, we were very lovely, she likes rough play to sum extent just like me but d sex was really bad.

Wat we did:
We had a long discussion on how to go abt it, n we were not embarrassed since we have bin gud friends n we ar adults, we later resolve to remain friends n if d need be we can have sex but it shudnt be our focal point, we ar free to see oda pple (Now don't get dis wrong, we were not committed to each oda, we were just having fun). In ur case, I tink dialogue is important n as adults, wen u dialogue, u can cum up wit reasonable resolutions abandoning d relationship is not d best idea like in my case.

Shalom!!! Hope u settle ur problems n remain togeda.

I'll definitely talk with him more.

thegreatman4ww:
You all right my dear.

@OP, as mcdreezy as said, those connection you didn't feel was because tio compare two different people for same thing and the pleasure of sex thing from your AY or so has not left your imagination, once you forget everything about AY and so intimate satisfaction, then you shall start feeling the connection between you and Shola. An if for some months you still can feel it, it means you do not really love Shola.

Sexual satisfaction/connection is not about the real act itself but the affection of love that attracts one party to another. Let give you a scenarios, if you really loves Shola better than AY, you will never be satisfied no matter how good AY is because your mind is not sexally attarcted to him. The case is, whether you are accepting it or not you place sexual satisfaction above other qualities .

For marriage, as mcdreezy had earlier said, sex shouldnt be priority in any marriage because as the marriage grows on with her challenges sex will become less and less important as those other qualities will start to more important than others. To be candid sex and moneyl can only become VERY IMPORTANT after other good qualities are present, if not, the marriage will start collapsing [b] because there will be reduction in sex and money because of the lack of other good attitude and behaviours. Wife refusing her husband sex because of some disagreement, husband abusing wife (beats, rape, etc) because of lack of manner, disagreement all over the place......

My dear, the first and foremost thing to consider for marriage is a person (lady/man) with attitudes/characters you love, hard working & commitment, etc because when you eventually developed love towards each (because genieue love is built over a period of time not develop because of some likness) sex becomes enjoyable and satisfactory and with both couples helping each other finance become less burden.

Wish you best in your choice of marriage.

First of all, if I had place sexual satisfaction above all others, I'll never have quitted my relationship with AY. But I'll admit that I wanted it all; A good sex life, a responsible guy, a guy that understand the meaning of commitment. Am I hoping for too much?

For the sake of argument , if with time sex become irrelevant in marriages then why do couple cheat? Why is that more than half of those that will woo a single lady are married men?

damselleen:
First of all, if I had place sexual satisfaction above all others, I'll never have quitted my relationship with AY. But I'll admit that I wanted it all; A good sex life, a responsible guy, a guy that understand the meaning of commitment. Am I hoping for too much?

For the sake of argument , if with time sex become irrelevant in marriages then why do couple cheat? Why is that more than half of those that will woo a single lady are married men?

question for the gods

damselleen:
I did tell him but you know men and their pride. And that's my exact fear. What if he doesn't listen

Tell him again in clear and serious terms. Many women convey serious messages in unserious ways,this many men do not always get.

If you love him,telling him again and again will not be bad. Of course,if he is unserious and the sex is so bad for you,then go for an AY with commitment.

Attraction,connection should flow between a couple who are starting out their lives there are too many things that require work in a relationship. For goodness sake you are not married to this man why are you working so hard on this you said there is no connection,spark how is he to manufacture that? Even you cannot manufacture it really what does he need to do to ginger you when the necessary attraction/connection is missing?

You may need to get honest with yourself some things cannot be forced. You are just starting out and the sex part has already flat lined.

Maybe you love him like a brother.

You opened this thread without knowing you have already made a decision popular hallmark of youngsters, limited knowledge in anything at all.What have you done to savour this relationship.Don't quote that futility you wrote from before.Only note that life is always like that,can't have it all cowboy, thats why there are compromises in life.Work on your mindset and life expectancies,also don't be too intent on changing others, it seldom works.I wish you double luck firstly,in.finding Mr.right and secondly Mr right seeing you as Mrs right.

andromida: Attraction,connection should flow between a couple who are starting out their lives there are too many things that require work in a relationship. For goodness sake you are not married to this man why are you working so hard on this you said there is no connection,spark how is he to manufacture that? Even you cannot manufacture it really what does he need to do to ginger you when the necessary attraction/connection is missing?

You may need to get honest with yourself some things cannot be forced. You are just starting out and the sex part has already flat lined.

Maybe you love him like a brother.

Maybe but I'm gonna talked to him tonight. I'll let you know what I decided on by tomorrow

Eddlad: You opened this thread without knowing you have already made a decision popular hallmark of youngsters, limited knowledge in anything at all.What have you done to savour this relationship.Don't quote that futility you wrote from before.Only note that life is always like that,can't have it all cowboy, thats why there are compromises in life.Work on your mindset and life expectancies,also don't be too intent on changing others, it seldom works.I wish you double luck firstly,in.finding Mr.right and secondly Mr right seeing you as Mrs right.

Lol.. I've be waiting for someone to call me out on that. I don't want to sound as a braggart but I'll definitely be a good wife. Thanks for your well wishes.

Na this kind topic Nairalanders dey good at, experts from every corner dey throw suggestion. Two pages in less than 3 hours. If they fit use their time and brain we for don find ebola cure.

balamz: Na this kind topic Nairalanders dey good at, experts from every corner dey throw suggestion. Two pages in less than 3 hours. If they fit use their time and brain we for don find ebola cure.

Make u use your brain well na. What are you coming to do here. Abeg help us find Ebola cure. Leave us where no go school to use our brain on sex matter.

mcdreeezy: Sex is not that important except for procreation purposes, it is the couples that choose to make it important or seem like a big deal. If you're talkin about bonding, there are numerous ways couples can bond without sex. Except for procreation, I don't see the importance of sex, it's just somethin pple do for fun and shouldn't be a priority or one of the priorities of marriage

Please my darling don't get married with this kind of mentality o. No woman will take this, even if you had married her a virgin. Human beings naturally have cravings either for food, sex or good things of life.

If I ask whether you re' a believe I know you will say YES! And you re' proud of the evil act attached your topic, no remorse or guilty of what Gal 5:19-21 says. The bible rebuke sexual immorality and say in verse 21 that any who take part In any of the sin will not inherit the kingdom of God. Rev 21:8 also mention the sexually immoral and say their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. Just have a second thought sweetheart and change.

I lament for this generation, we keep asking God for a caring, loving and godfearing husband while we re' not ourself.

I advice that you better ask for pardon and forgiveness from the merciful Jesus and He will forgive you and bless you marriage with a man who will not just satisfy but give you peace of mind and joy in your marriage. My dear you re' searching for shadow in marriage while the real thing is forgotten! What a pity. Read Heb 13:4.

Salvation is what you need now not some fornication hubby. My take and I pray you understand that their is more to life in true marriage than what you re' looking for now.

But TV01 will say that MOST women only have se. x to get a husband and then have children.

OP, none of the two guys should become your husband. My opinion.

damselleen: I'm stucked, I don't know what to do. I don't know if the decision I'm about to take will hunt me for life.

I met Ay and Shola (fictitious) almost at the same time but the first person I dated was Ay. The only thing that was perfect between I and Ay is the sex. We are very attracted to each other sexually. In all honesty that was the best sex I ever had with any man. The very important thing that was missing is the commitment. He's not committed but I wanted more than just sex. So I've to let go.

All this while Shola had been disturbing me, finally I agreed to date him. Shola is perfect when it comes to commitment. We are doing our introduction in two weeks time. Two days ago I discovered we are not sexually compatible.

Before I take my final decision, I need your inputs. How can I make this work? Can it even be work on?

..........go back to AY!
commitment is overrated!

damselleen:
Finally someone who understand the point I'm trying to make.

av been there, babe....so i know your dilemma.
think abt it thoroughly and make a choice.

This site may help you http://www.marriageheat.com/2014/08/08/first-marriage-heat-experience-part-1-popping-question-l/

damselleen: I'm stucked, I don't know what to do. I don't know if the decision I'm about to take will hunt me for life.

I met Ay and Shola (fictitious) almost at the same time but the first person I dated was Ay. The only thing that was perfect between I and Ay is the sex. We are very attracted to each other sexually. In all honesty that was the best sex I ever had with any man. The very important thing that was missing is the commitment. He's not committed but I wanted more than just sex. So I've to let go.

All this while Shola had been disturbing me, finally I agreed to date him. Shola is perfect when it comes to commitment. We are doing our introduction in two weeks time. Two days ago I discovered we are not sexually compatible.

Before I take my final decision, I need your inputs. How can I make this work? Can it even be work on?

he's a late bloomer...give him time

Thanks to you all. This is my second time I'll open a thread on this section and you all have never dissapointed. Anytime my heart is weigh down, coming here to read your comments always lift me up again.

Everybody that I quoted and those I didn't quote, thanks a million.

We have talked together. I told him, I wanted our introduction to be postpone. He agreed reluctantly but warned me that if he takes another woman home to meet his family, I shouldn't blame him.

Going ahead with this introduction knowing what I know, knowing who I am, knowing where I came from will be...... Anyway thanks once again.

damselleen: We have talked together. I told him, I wanted our introduction to be postpone. He agreed reluctantly but warned me that if he takes another woman home to meet his family, I shouldn't blame him.

Going ahead with this introduction knowing what I know, knowing who I am, knowing where I came from will be...... Anyway thanks once again.

My best wishes to you.

I would have cancelled it but postponing it, is not bad either.

Take good care.

damselleen: We have talked together. I told him, I wanted our introduction to be postpone. He agreed reluctantly but warned me that if he takes another woman home to meet his family, I shouldn't blame him.

Going ahead with this introduction knowing what I know, knowing who I am, knowing where I came from will be...... Anyway thanks once again.

Hmmm.....Ooº°Ú Ú°ºoo gan Ooº°Ú Ú°ºoo. Sex is good but no matter how good sex is, without any kid,it becomes boring n futile. Anyway, you had made your choice based on your preference and I can only wish you well. But if U will leave Shola, don't go back to Ay cos that is how far he will mean to you. The painful tin is: U will repeat dis method with another guy, jeez!

damselleen:
First of all, if I had place sexual satisfaction above all others, I'll never have quitted my relationship with AY. But I'll admit that I wanted it all; A good sex life, a responsible guy, a guy that understand the meaning of commitment. Am I hoping for too much?

For the sake of argument , if with time sex become irrelevant in marriages then why do couple cheat? Why is that more than half of those that will woo a single lady are married men?

Those cheated in relationship and marriage do so because of two things: either because of finance (money) or the mentality of "belonging to reigning thread". If you critically research into why ppl have multiple partners or unfaithful in marriage u will find out that over 90% geniue cause were money and wanting to belong.
The latter had contributed to high moral indecency to the extend that ppl are tagged names when preserving their dignity and morality.
To be candid, economically and health wise the act of unfaithfulness and multiple partners is not adviceable. According to research having very good sex more than three times a week is not good for the body else you find ppl going against the rule taking drugs, alcohol, etc to stay in the game.
If you can try it, though established by rrsearch, for good one month eat good balanced diet and good sex every day and see if you would not fall sick and become weak.
Above no man is an island of water , you can nit find a man that will have everything u want, but a man can be everything u want in life if u work with him with ALL HUMBLINESS AND RESPECT to build a family of your dream.
The only weapon that penetrate through a man's soul and spirit by a women is respect and humbliness, even if he can not public/privately belittled his pride, down inside his soul and heart he is taking to your advice and respecting you. Then the man will be given u some free hands and be at rest that u loved him, ...,.....
Marriage is a lifetime institutions where we learn new things everyday and strong union of two individuals who fight to stay together even in face of individuals difference.

Let me stop here.

@ op, I may b sorry to say this, bt I pray u wunt regret this action yah naggin abt.say amen. Marriage is abt sex and love fo fact bt, wc one is satisfaction we human being complained abt? Is there a place in bible or quran where a woman was complaining abt nt bn satisfied on bed by the man? Pls dear, I was a very bad good boy in the past, despite wt my 6inches prick, no lady eva complained cos am always open to learn and adjust to any style dt wl suit d woman. U can try google sex styles and position and send to ur fiance tru bbm or whatsap. Jst tell him u were readin it and find it funny.am sure he can surely change. Dnt because of sex lay off a guy of gud attitude cos u neva can tell d next person u wl meet. Abi u wan dey sample dft dishes befo getin d one dt wl suit u? Tink abt this pls

Amelian: my dear, i may sound off like abit brutal 2 yur intending fiance.. but the truth is this... there are some ladies out there, who wishes to be satisfied well, sexually. we are not saying the guy shud go 10 rounds or 4 rounds in a day.. what the op, is saying is dis----shes not feeling any connection, when having sex with shola... its not that shola is not good in bed, but theres NO connection there, and trust me op, as a Nija man wey get Pride, he wont change his styles, u have to deal with it... Only few Nija men who truly wants to please their women go the extra length to adjust and learn more on pleasing their women on bed...
And your Shola wont change, cos he feels amongst all the ladies he has bedded only you dey complain..
Av bn in your shoes before, and i had to take d bulls by the horn and sadly call it off...
why? Cos i know, if we get married, i will cheat on him and even find him repulsive as the years go by.. and we might end up divorced or separated.. cos i hate cheating on my partner..
But thank God, it took me some years down the lane to finally be with my partner, whom am very pleased with... ..although hes still starting life, financially but am at peace with him, and wud Never cheat on him.
so, op forget sentiments o.... Marriage is a lifetime commitment of being happy with your partner, husband , father of your kids, Not managing, suffering in silence.
You cant be longing for Ay, or another man, when uv crossed the threshold of marriage...
if your man cant change his ways of pleasing you after making him aware... my dear, pls postpone the engagement, orelse u will become bored..and thats Fact#

are you by anyway encouraging premarital sex? should anyone be proud of premarital sex? Agreed we all fall into temptation but for someone to encourage premarital sex Jeeze where is our morality ?