damselleen:
I don't understand

I do not advocate premarital sex because it creates a dilemma like the one you are in now.

We are sexually incompatible is such an ambiguous statement which people have asked you to explain but it seems you are only looking for people to support your inner urges of leaving the guy due to sexual incompatibility.

You said you wanted more than sex, hence you ditched AY but someone is giving you something more than sex but you are complaining. what do you really want?

If a man is not impotent, I don't think there's no sexual skills that he cannot learn with time. If you really love the guy as claimed, you would have discussed in detail and passionately with him your fears and expectations on bed. He is no mind reader, if you don't tell him, how will he know your dissatisfaction?

If your main concern is just sex, I hope years to come, you will not open a new account to create another thread that my husband wants to kill me with sex.

I am not saying you should not be concerned about your intimate compatibility but I am telling you that it is not a challenge that can't be overcome in as much as he is not impotent.

In marriage, couples are expected to grow together sexually. They both learn the process together, correct short comings and improve on last performance. Willingness and openness to each other are essential ingredients in this process.

If you don't know how to discuss this issue with him without hurting his ego, how would you be able to handle more difficult issues when you finally marry.

I will advice that you learn the art of communication first before thinking about great sex. Trust me, if communication is broken down, great sex will not save your marriage in days of trouble.

I wish you a happy ceremony in advance.

bellong:

I do not advocate premarital sex because it creates a dilemma like the one you are in now.

We are sexually incompatible is such an ambiguous statement which people have asked you to explain but it seems you are only looking for people to support your inner urges of leaving the guy due to sexual incompatibility.

You said you wanted more than sex, hence you ditched AY but someone is giving you something more than sex but you are complaining. what do you really want?

If a man is not impotent, I don't think there's no sexual skills that he cannot learn with time. If you really love the guy as claimed, you would have discussed in detail and passionately with him your fears and expectations on bed. He is no mind reader, if you don't tell him, how will he know your dissatisfaction?

If your main concern is just sex, I hope years to come, you will not open a new account to create another thread that my husband wants to kill me with sex.

I am not saying you should not be concerned about your intimate compatibility but I am telling you that it is not a challenge that can't be overcome in as much as he is not impotent.

In marriage, couples are expected to grow together sexually. They both learn the process together, correct short comings and improve on last performance. Willingness and openness to each other are essential ingredients in this process.

If you don't know how to discuss this issue with him without hurting his ego, how would you be able to handle more difficult issues when you finally marry.

I will advice that you learn the art of communication first before thinking about great sex. Trust me, if communication is broken down, great sex will not save your marriage in days of trouble.

I wish you a happy ceremony in advance.

It May seem like I'm eager to ditch him but that's not true. I've introduced him informally to my family and we are suppose to go this week to meet his family.

I did discussed it with him. I told him I don't expect him to be perfect cos I'm not perfect. I told him how he can please me. He said I'm the first person that will complain (pride ). I thought he had listened but he didn't put it into practice what I complained about the next day.

I'm not expertise when it comes to sex but I'm teachable . My fear is what if it doesn't change?

my dear, i may sound off like abit brutal 2 yur intending fiance.. but the truth is this... there are some ladies out there, who wishes to be satisfied well, sexually. we are not saying the guy shud go 10 rounds or 4 rounds in a day.. what the op, is saying is dis----shes not feeling any connection, when having sex with shola... its not that shola is not good in bed, but theres NO connection there, and trust me op, as a Nija man wey get Pride, he wont change his styles, u have to deal with it... Only few Nija men who truly wants to please their women go the extra length to adjust and learn more on pleasing their women on bed...
And your Shola wont change, cos he feels amongst all the ladies he has bedded only you dey complain..
Av bn in your shoes before, and i had to take d bulls by the horn and sadly call it off...
why? Cos i know, if we get married, i will cheat on him and even find him repulsive as the years go by.. and we might end up divorced or separated.. cos i hate cheating on my partner..
But thank God, it took me some years down the lane to finally be with my partner, whom am very pleased with... ..although hes still starting life, financially but am at peace with him, and wud Never cheat on him.
so, op forget sentiments o.... Marriage is a lifetime commitment of being happy with your partner, husband , father of your kids, Not managing, suffering in silence.
You cant be longing for Ay, or another man, when uv crossed the threshold of marriage...
if your man cant change his ways of pleasing you after making him aware... my dear, pls postpone the engagement, orelse u will become bored..and thats Fact#

And there are some women who does not like the whole process of sex, whether the man is good or not? it doesnt matter, as long as they are living in affluence. The money covers any fault he may have ... And there are some women, who wishes to be satisfied sexually, wealth does not really count for those types, but the guy shud be hardworking and av aims and aspirations. etc. there are different hormones working in series of ladies out there.. simply identify yours and know what u want..
Best of luck,op.

Not every man likes to eat kitten

So bcuz of sex u want to ditch a good person? Some pple sef I don tire for una! Sex

Op
Y dnt you try to be in charge next time so U see how it goes. Maybe during sex U take the lead.

mcdreeezy: So bcuz of sex u want to ditch a good person? Some pple sef I don tire for una! Sex

Read well she didn't say she wants to ditch him. She is just saying she is having problems that the guy isn't ready to be taught.

And haven't you heard that most major problems in marriage are majorly caused by sex and finances. So she has the right to be worried.

@Op communications is the key, if he is good in other areas just give him time. I guess with time he will get to adjust. Please don't expect outright change, cos u will be disappointed. Teach him in love, when he says you are the first person to complain. Respond by saying everyone has different sexual needs and they get to be satisfied.

He wouldn't have known whether those ones that never complained where secretly cheating on him. Just saying.

Icherishu:
Read well she didn't say she wants to ditch him. She is just saying she is having problems that the guy isn't ready to be taught.

And haven't you heard that most major problems in marriage are majorly caused by sex and finances. So she has the right to be worried.

Ok oh, but I don't think sex should be an issue between couples. There are way more important things in life and marriage than the aforementioned IMO

Amelian: my dear, i may sound off like abit brutal 2 yur intending fiance.. but the truth is this... there are some ladies out there, who wishes to be satisfied well, sexually. we are not saying the guy shud go 10 rounds or 4 rounds in a day.. what the op, is saying is dis----shes not feeling any connection, when having sex with shola... its not that shola is not good in bed, but theres NO connection there, and trust me op, as a Nija man wey get Pride, he wont change his styles, u have to deal with it... Only few Nija men who truly wants to please their women go the extra length to adjust and learn more on pleasing their women on bed...
And your Shola wont change, cos he feels amongst all the ladies he has bedded only you dey complain..
Av bn in your shoes before, and i had to take d bulls by the horn and sadly call it off...
why? Cos i know, if we get married, i will cheat on him and even find him repulsive as the years go by.. and we might end up divorced or separated.. cos i hate cheating on my partner..
But thank God, it took me some years down the lane to finally be with my partner, whom am very pleased with... ..although hes still starting life, financially but am at peace with him, and wud Never cheat on him.
so, op forget sentiments o.... Marriage is a lifetime commitment of being happy with your partner, husband , father of your kids, Not managing, suffering in silence.
You cant be longing for Ay, or another man, when uv crossed the threshold of marriage...
if your man cant change his ways of pleasing you after making him aware... my dear, pls postpone the engagement, orelse u will become bored..and thats Fact#

Finally someone who understand the point I'm trying to make.

mcdreeezy: Ok oh, but I don't think sex should be an issue between couples. There are way more important things in life and marriage than the aforementioned IMO

Reality and statistics prove this line of thought wrong. Ask most divorced couples what happened and i can bet you that intimacy would be among top 3 for almost 80% of them.

mcdreeezy: Ok oh, but I don't think sex should be an issue between couples. There are way more important things in life and marriage than the aforementioned IMO

Really? Please explain further

mcdreeezy: Ok oh, but I don't think sex should be an issue between couples. There are way more important things in life and marriage than the aforementioned IMO

How can you say this? it is IMPORTANT. In fact, VERY IMPORTANT one of the MOST IMPORTANT except both of you now decide to make it NOT IMPORTANT

chaircover:

My dear, there is nothing too big for a knife to cut.
This is your life here, if you cant explain it to faceless internet Nigerians, then how can you explain it to him? and if you cant explain it to him, how then can he make amends if applicable?

If you say what he is doing wrong/what the problem is, then maybe some people will be able to advise you how to go about it/say to him

Whatever it is needs to be fully addressed before you marry him.

@OP, listen to chaircover on what she said above and answer her question.

mcdreeezy: Ok oh, but I don't think sex should be an issue between couples. There are way more important things in life and marriage than the aforementioned IMO

Left me ask please are you married? I quite agree with that there are more important things in life and sex is one of them. I bet you let your spouse deny you sex for a period or he/she can't satisfy you in bed. Then come back and tell us that sex isn't important.

Sex is a major cause of family conflicts. Do your opinion poll very well.

onegig: Reality and statistics prove this line of thought wrong. Ask most divorced couples what happened and i can bet you that intimacy would be among top 3 for almost 80% of them.

Please help me to tell him. I have asked him whether he is married. Cos I need to get that answer before I know what to say next.

onegig: Reality and statistics prove this line of thought wrong. Ask most divorced couples what happened and i can bet you that intimacy would be among top 3 for almost 80% of them.

Well I guess it's a matter of preference then, they chose to make it important. That's somethin I wouldn't do if I'm married tho

damselleen:

Really? Please explain further

I don't know how I'll further xplain it, it's based on preference. To me, I feel sex shouldn't be one of the main tinz in marriage. It's just my opinion tho

Icherishu:
Left me ask please are you married? I quite agree with that there are more important things in life and sex is one of them. I bet you let your spouse deny you sex for a period or he/she can't satisfy you in bed. Then come back and tell us that sex isn't important.

Sex is a major cause of family conflicts. Do your opinion poll very well.

Sex is not that important except for procreation purposes, it is the couples that choose to make it important or seem like a big deal. If you're talkin about bonding, there are numerous ways couples can bond without sex. Except for procreation, I don't see the importance of sex, it's just somethin pple do for fun and shouldn't be a priority or one of the priorities of marriage

Godmystrength: How can you say this? it is IMPORTANT. In fact, VERY IMPORTANT one of the MOST IMPORTANT except both of you now decide to make it NOT IMPORTANT

It's based on preference, my friend

mcdreeezy: Sex is not that important except for procreation purposes, it is the couples that choose to make it important or seem like a big deal. If you're talkin about bonding, there are numerous ways couples can bond without sex. Except for procreation, I don't see the importance of sex, it's just somethin pple do for fun and shouldn't be a priority or one of the priorities of marriage

learning something new though i don't agree with you o....

mcdreeezy: It's based on preference, my friend

I am not your friend in this

Godmystrength: learning something new though i don't agree with you o....

Lolz....well then, let's disagree to agree

Godmystrength: I am not your friend in this

Hehe..but we're not fightin na

@OP, the issue here is dat u kip Comparing both AY with Shola. Just try nd forget the AY guy for now and concentrate on shola cos der is more to a relationship nd sex. Don't get mi wrong, sex is important too. Why not try to take control wen it come to sex, afterall u knw hw u like it, u can always lead him on by taking charge.

mcdreeezy: Well I guess it's a matter of preference then, they chose to make it important. That's somethin I wouldn't do if I'm married tho

God help you then and best wishes. I hope you are not one of those people from the 18th century that believe s.ex is for procreation only?


Oh ! I see you just confirmed that. Good luck once again. So what happens once you guys are done with giving births or periods you are not interested in bringing a child to the word? You would watch telemundo althrough?

mcdreeezy: Hehe..but we're not fightin na

Lol. We are not. But how can you say sex is not important now?? haba

onegig: God help you then and best wishes. I hope you are not one of those people from the 18th century that believe s.ex is for procreation only?

He sounds so. he is one of them

mcdreeezy: Sex is not that important except for procreation purposes, it is the couples that choose to make it important or seem like a big deal. If you're talkin about bonding, there are numerous ways couples can bond without sex. Except for procreation, I don't see the importance of sex, it's just somethin pple do for fun and shouldn't be a priority or one of the priorities of marriage

onegig: God help you then and best wishes. I hope you are not one of those people from the 18th century that believe s.ex is for procreation only?

Procreation is the number one priority, what else could sex be for in marriage? I'm talkin about important tinz oh, not tinz that are matter (anytin that has weight and occupies space)

mcdreeezy: Procreation is the number one priority, what else could sex be for in marriage? I'm talkin about important tinz oh, not tinz that are matter (anytin that has weight and occupies space)

now i am laffing . So after you are through with child bearing, then no more sex?

Godmystrength: Lol. We are not. But how can you say sex is not important now?? haba

Hmm, so I'm soundin weird? That's what I believe sha

mcdreeezy: Procreation is the number one priority, what else could sex be for in marriage? I'm talkin about important tinz oh, not tinz that are matter (anytin that has weight and occupies space)

Don't want to derail the thread. She came here to seek help. Won't be fair if we derailed the thread with side talks. All i would just say is TIME would determine that. You would learn better soon.

onegig: Don't want to derail the thread. She came here to seek help. Won't be fair if we derailed the thread with side talks. All i would just say is TIME would determine that. You would learn better soon.

Ok then