A cliche is a word or phrase that has lost its potency as a result of regular use, hence, most times we rarely stop to analyse their true meaning. A good example is the statement "I will do my best". People often use this statement when a daunting task is about to be undertaken. However, there are tasks in which our best, though sincere and valuable, may not be enough.

This same concept applies to romance in marriage. Often times, what we learn from our environment, books or movies on how to be romantic or make our spouse feel special may either be obsolete, inadequate or blatantly false. For instance, everyone has a 'love language' (words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch, and appreciation of gifts). This simply means ways people prefer to receive and give love to each other; the little things that CONNECT HEARTS. You may have observed that your spouse deeply appreciates you running minor errands around the house or buying gifts just to show you were thinking of him/her.

However, what happens when a spouse who immensely appreciates spending time (quality time) with his/her spouse is married to a venture capitalist. A man who invests in many businesses therefore has to constantly monitor how they are faring, hence, he is rarely at home; misses birthdays, wedding anniversaries, children's sport days and Parents Teachers' Forum meetings. On the other hand, he lavishes her with expensive gifts, 'HE IS DOING HIS BEST', but it won't meet her deepest emotional needs because that is not what she wants.

When DOING YOUR BEST is like putting a square peg in a round hole, how hard you try does not matter.

ASSIGNMENT
Know your spouse, ask him or her what meets his/her deepest emotional needs.

Chidi and Victor Akunna
Foundation for Family Affairs

Twitter: @FamilyAffairs05
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