This is posted in memory of a forumite I admired at another site, he wrote this a few years ago .He passed away some months ago in an accident
RIP sir !.I will always remember how much you made me laugh

[size=18pt]The Pentecostal butt dance[/size]

What, you wonder, am I on about now? Easy. I am speaking out on behalf of the tortured majority. You know, the young male Pentecostals who have sworn to abstention until marriage and are trying their best to “Hold Bodi” despite hormonal stimulus and in the face of the barrage of sexual messages from Channel O, Home Videos, X-Rated Magazines and the skimpily dressed female “Penterascals” that populate many of today’s Pentecostal Churches. Their plunging necklines, Spaghetti Straps, Half–shoulder Roman Toga blouses and fully Off-shoulder dresses leave little to the imagination. Tight Skirts that skirt nothing and See-through Mini dresses that maximize the exposure of orange-peel straddled Thongs. Whereas the Church used to be the Eye of the Storm of social decadence, now many are the Bermuda Triangle where unwary Bachelors and even married men flounder and disappear into the vortex.

What manner of maelstrom do I speak of? After all, in most churches, the Ushers are well-prepared with scarves to shield the tantalizing thighs from the eyes of the brothers, particularly the senior brother on the pulpit that they might not sin in their hearts. Aha! No problem you think? The Gospel has got it all covered! But no, not quite! In keeping with the injunction that “He inhabits our praise,” and the attempt to “sing unto the Lord a joyful song”, there is an exuberant praise worship with plenty of singing and dancing at the beginning and also to bring the Service to a close. This is when the Pentecostal Butt dance comes in. You see, the babes, sorry, “loosed women” know that because they do not attend Night Clubs and joints where the worldly guys hang out, they have to make do with the premises available to them to do what they do naturally in the hope of snaring a catch.

So, with their lips painted, their hips swaying and their fingertips all a-glitter and outfitted to kill, they sashay into Church and eagerly anticipate the beginning of Praise Worship. At the first notes, they jump to their feet and begin a gentle swaying of the hips from side to side in rhythm to the music. As the tempo picks up, they introduce the killer moves, the ones that are imported from the Owambe Parties where the women bend over and do amazing things with their gluteal muscles and adipose tissue in a genteel manner to the beat of the music. It starts with a gentle up and down motion in addition to the sideways sway, then graduates into the fully upright hip-hop–ribbetty-bop that I have named the Pentecostal butt dance.

The more anatomically gifted the Lady worshipper, the tighter the outfit and the more attention she attracts. At this point, the brothers’ gazes are transfixed and all sorts of thoughts are running riot in their brains as they struggle to retain the anointing that they came in with. After all, Sunday Service is the occasion at which they can demonstrate their conviction with the Christ and their “Church–mind” and “Church –speak”. The young dancers have caught their attention and are setting the brothers up for an after Church Bible – Study where they get to know each other while “Digging deep”.

What is a poor brother to do? The young brothers end up confused with erotic signals short-circuiting the anointed presence they had sought. Thank God for the ever Soul-cleansing, life-changing, undiluted, inexorable and pristine God-inspired Word coming from the pulpit. Quickly, the brothers are “re-arrested” and the Holy Spirit takes over, but not for long. The Sermon comes to an end and it’s time for all to stand up again and sing,

Jesus, you’re my firm foundation, I know I can stand secure, Jesus, you’re my firm foundation…


http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/the-pentecostal-butt-dance2.html

Interesting

Lol..

thou shall not have such thoughts in a place of worship

Meehn!!! See composition!

Very interesting.

May God bless whoever wrote this piece. This is nothing but the hard truth. In churches of today, Satan is god and is worshipped in the highest pedestal. A reminiscent of sodom and gomorah.

Babymama, this was exactly my thought in church yesterday. But I just concluded that maybe its as a result of our cultural dances that tend to emphasize dancing with the waist region.

egopersonified: Babymama, this was exactly my thought in church yesterday. But I just concluded that maybe its as a result of our cultural dances that tend to emphasize dancing with the waist region.

Some ladies do it on purpose. Sat behind one on a Sunday. Skirt-short, makeup-excess, packaging was 'skin tight' and she was wearing a screaming red colour outfit. It takes special grace as a 'bro' to not look or at least steal glances

Maybe the joy in their hearts and the spirit of the moment overtook them.

An0nimus:
Some ladies do it on purpose. Sat behind one on a Sunday. Skirt-short, makeup-excess, packaging was 'skin tight' and she was wearing a screaming red colour outfit. It takes special grace as a 'bro' to not look or at least steal glances

I'm sure she also had the 'special' grace to dance to the Lord not minding rambling eyes

...lol...@ gluteal muscles and adipose tissue...

Well, we gat no choice....We gats to shake it real hard ni....Since we have it in excess....Lets use it to Praise Jehovah.......

You know, when you are blessed with a special assets like butt or bossom...You tend to dance with it more compared to other parts of your body....

As for me, I love shaking it.....Not too hard but just slight swaying of hips side to side....and thats all...

There is a solution to this and that is, look up when is time for praise or simply just look away and try as much as possible not to pay attention to their dance and have your mind focus on the word of God, the wording of the song, the pulpit or the reason of your being in the church.

I know it not easy, trust me i know the feeling. It just your flesh clashing with your spirit for supremacy but the grace to overcome those distraction is there, just ask God for it. Remember the scripture " seek you shall find, ask you shall receive and knock the door shall be open.

temigracie: ...lol...@ gluteal muscles and adipose tissue...

Well, we gat no choice....We gats to shake it real hard ni....Since we have it in excess....Lets use it to Praise Jehovah.......

You know, when you are blessed with a special assets like butt or bossom...You tend to dance with it more compared to other parts of your body....

As for me, I love shaking it.....Not too hard but just slight swaying of hips side to side....and thats all...

Guys, swear you didn't check out this lady's profile after reading her post

14 David danced before the Lord with all his might; David was girded with a linen ephod. 16 As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal daughter of Saul looked out of the window, and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.20 David returned to bless his household. But Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, “How the king of Israel honored himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants’ maids, as any vulgar fellow might shamelessly uncover himself!” 21 David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me in place of your father and all his household, to appoint me as prince over Israel, the people of the Lord, that I have danced before the Lord. 22 I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in my own eyes; but by the maids of whom you have spoken, by them I shall be held in honor.” 23 And Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death.
2 Samuel 6