egopersonified: 1. Dont reply when she is verbally abusing you, it would just give her more to say.
2. Where possible, leave the house.
3. Build up your self-esteem becos no matter how unrealistic her abuses are, sometimes you would actually start believing them.
4. She might be doing it to hurt you, find out if there is something you do that hurts her and makes her get back at you this way.
5. When she is calm and happy, call her into your room and gently talk to her about this issue, you would have to do this on a regular basis. Its not just telling her you dont like the abuses and its effect on you, ask her what she wants you to do differently.
6. Pray for and with her. When you pray together, dont just say, father bless our marriage, say something like, father open my wife's eyes to see that I love and cherish her and help her stop being abusive that we might live in peace as one big happy family. Bottomline, be specific.
7. After any of her verbal storms, even before she apologises, when going out ask her: honey/babe/baby, do you need anything, i'm going out.
8. Treat her the way you would treat a new found love, take her out, even if it is to a buka, visit family and friends together, go to church together and sit beside each other, wear same outfits, do things alone without the presense of the kids, book a hotel for the both of you for the weekend, assist her in the kitchen when she is cooking, etc, etc.
9. Praise her in the presense of others.
10. Buy her things you notice she needs, even if it is just a change of toothbrush.
I can go on and on, but the bottomline is : show her what it means to love someone and with time she would learn from you. All the best.

Probably the best thing i will read this week.
I'm happy that someone oozes positivism and pro-activity.
I believe that the wife was not abusive before marriage and so something changed. It's always easier to push blames and change focus, to play defensive and all....but brother - you are the 50% reason of her abusiveness. So please, sit down, use a pen and paper and copy out what @egopersonified has posted to you. Past it on your wall, read it like you're preparing to write an exam. Make it your daily creed after prayers. As a matter of fact, your wife needs you more than you realise. And she even loves you - she just victimizes the love by her expressions of abuse.
And you, you deserve more than just walking away because she's abusing you, and it's a bit demeaning that you are looking for ways to "manage" her (she's not a property). I hope you realise all of this asap. Goodluck!

Dein77, marriage is not meant to be endured, believe things can turn around for good AND work at it. You say she started since 2011, did something happen then? What is that issue that is making her go gaga? Please, just try to make some sacrifices so she can see that you really want the marriage to work. Even if you want to quit, try all you can and know you did your best.