plus_Queen:

My sister wait until a suitor comes knocking.
Then you hear about them.
They are powerful.
They have their own list that must be honored
and the men (umunna) have their own requirements
In my own case,my dad did not take any dowry except a symbolic one naira note but the contents on the lists had to be bought by the suitor whether we liked it or not.
That one is almost non negotiable
and if the father pities the suitor,he'll have to buy them himself.

I don't know these people why should they be there It pisses me off. I just want a private and quiet ceremony, my mom , my dad that's all   I guess I have to do a lot of fighting

~Sauron~:

I disagree.

You know I'm right

You are on your own.
Heaven ko. . . . .Hell ni.

""

chika98:

I have nothing against bride price sha because most times a man won't respect you if he didn't pay your bride price.

That's a new one
So me that my husband paid only one naira,I'm just a dash dash?
he sponsored the ceremony (which in my place is the 3rd visit)
He bought the contents of the list.
He sponsored a church wedding too
Bride price is just a fraction of what the man does and the amount is negotiable in many places

chika98:

I have nothing against bride price sha because most times a man won't respect you if he didn't pay your bride price.

thats sad, if it gets to the day that respect in a marriage is based on material concerns

plus_Queen:

That's a new one
So me that my husband paid only one naira,I'm just a dash dash?
he sponsored the ceremony (which in my place is the 3rd visit)
He bought the contents of the list.
He sponsored a church wedding too
Bride price is just a fraction of what the man does and the amount is negotiable in may places

I didn't mean that literally. This tradition came about for a good reason.

stillwater:

You know I'm right

Partially!!

""

Start planning n plotting the escape.
This would be posher than Prison Break. . . . Stilly Break.

biolabee:

thats sad, if it gets to the day that respect in a marriage is based on material concerns

I doubt that statement from chika
If a man looks down on a woman because he paid no bride price should she also be his posession because he paid?

~Sauron~:

Partially!!

Start planning n plotting the escape.
This would be posher than Prison Break. . . . Stilly Break.

I hope you're not poor.

Nobody says the pide price paid is all that matters. Its just a sign of respect to the family of the girl. Remember you don't just go and snatch a girl and run away. She belonged to a family before you came along. A family that cared for her and nutured her. Giving Bride Price dosent mean you are buying the girl, it means you are showing appreciation for all the years her family took care of her.

I don't get this part, aren't the family supposed to be taking care of her anyway 

ibkaye:


I don't get this part, aren't the family supposed to be taking care of her anyway

Very good point!!!

stillwater:

I hope you're not poor.

Nah. . . . . .All i need is a PDA, Account number and a SWIFT code.
I hope you are "seksy".

chika98:

I didn't mean that literally. This tradition came about for a good reason.

But sadly the thing is being unfair to many young men who just want to marry the women they love.
Some parents use this opportunity to fleece inlaws and that's wrong

I don't know these people why should they be there  It pisses me off. I just want a private and quiet ceremony, my mom , my dad that's all      I guess I have to do a lot of fighting

If you lived in Nigeria,my dear there is no quiet traditional wedding ceremony.
Even your own parents won't agree to have their daughter married off nicodemously.
And if you live here in the USA,money is still sent home to buy them their list even if at a later date.
My grandmothers people were still mad that my husband did not complete their cartons of maltina.
not my mothers village O
the village where my mother's mother was born.
Can you imagine?
My mother had to buy the maltina and tell them the in law sent them then told us.

~Sauron~:

Nah. . . . . .All i need is a PDA, Account number and a SWIFT code.
I hope you are "seksy".

Again I hope you're stinkingly rich.

plus_Queen:



If you lived in Nigeria,my dear there is no quiet traditional wedding ceremony.
Even your own parents won't agree to have their daughter married off [b]nicodemously.[/b]And if you live here in the USA,money is still sent home to buy them their list even if at a later date.

Lol, yeah I know. Just proving James Bond here to console myself

How can a man. . . a NAIJA MAN-HUSBAND control his wife if he can't throw how much he got her for in her face?!!


Tee hee hee. . . I am loving this topic.

stillwater:

Again I hope you're stinkingly rich.

Very!!!

Be like me; Don't get married.

plus_Queen:

I doubt that statement from chika
If a man looks down on a woman because he paid no bride price should she also be his posession because he paid?

True respect in a marriage should be independent of monetary status of either of the partners

A friend of mine got married to this cute , well to do guy and during paying of the bride price and other necessary things that follows , the guy was bled dry but he still went ahead to conclude the marriage ceremony . But do you know that my friend, cries most times saying that when she and her husband argues, he constantly tells her that her family sold her off to him like a slave, and what a shame, that they could sell their daughter to the highest bidder .
She complains he's hardly loving, maybe sometimes when he strikes a good buisness deal then he can show love small but apart from that, he's now cold hearted , and no more loving like when they were dating. She lives in luxury but she's not happy

he gained the money back so why is he still crying?

Let me first of all state this.

MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR KIDS, IF YOU NO WHOLE MONEY, REMAIN SINGLE.

I remember a certain dude who came to my dad to chaperone him to his meet with the brides parents since my dad could speak the local dialect of the bride.
After the meeting was over, the dude came back crying. He said he knew it was gonna be expensive but what he saw was insane. Virtually every relative you could think of had a list for the guy.

The mum
The Dad
The Brothers
The sisters
Her age group (Umu ada)
Her Mothers age group
The family elders
e.t.c

And these lists included some bizzare requests such as;

*wrappers (several yards, different designs, and they are all hollandis)
*Creates of alcoholic beverages (Star, Guiness, Harp, Gulder, 33, Heineken, e.t.c)
*Kolanuts
*Lots of bottles of different alcoholic whiskeys and brandys (Moets, Schinapps, Hennessy, Vodka, e.t.c)
*Lots of bags of rice
*Several tubers of Yam
*Goats
*Cows
*Many Jerrycans of palm oil
*Dresses for the Parents and siblings of the bride.
*Money for rites
*Several Bunches of Plantain
*Shoes, bags and hats (Normally for the parents)
*Jewellries

_{And the list goes on.}

And the interesting part is that the actual bride price is normally very small. Atimes between 15Naira -2000Naira.

I cant shout. I am so glad I have three sisters, and heres my list;

1^ST sis; An Airport

2^nd Sis; A G5 Jet

3rd Sis; Bugatti Veron.

_{Talk about Investment.}

LOL! Na wa for the man ooh. Why was he crying?  I guess he is not aware of the secret rule of  waiting until he marries her to dish her comeuppance or is he just tight-fisted? Kai! Those kinds of men are the worst. . .  Want the chance to destroy a gal’s life without compensating her parents.

Oya more stories please

Your brother was just trying to show off but spending big. Its not a requirement. If he dosent have the money to do those things, he'll still marry the girl.

My elder sisters are married to people from Imo, and Enugu and I've never heard of such exorbitant criteria for marriage.

and here i was thinking i was chatting wt someone whos got brains what has showing off go to do with the fact that some of u igbos like fighting fights dat r very stupid?

oh u think i dont have such laws in my home town,uju if u like argue from now till tomorrow,the fact still remains dat igbo and their cultures are thieves

whatever90:


and here i was thinking i was chatting wt someone whos got brains what has showing off go to do with the fact that some of u igbos like fighting fights that r very stupid?

oh u think i don't have such laws in my home town,uju if u like argue from now till tomorrow,the fact still remains that igbo and their cultures are thieves

pot calling the kettle black about brains!! for someone who claims to have brains you're awfully small minded! The outrageous bride price is a TRADITION, one that wasn't rooted in thievery. In those days, a man was proud to pay it, because it showed his worthiness to marry their daughter. It has been abused, like unscrupulous elements in any other tribe would do had the tradition been theirs. Most of all, with enlightenment and changes in priorities, people are kicking against it.

That's a very insultive statement. If you have any decency you should take it back and apologise

whatever90:


and here i was thinking i was chatting wt someone whos got brains what has showing off go to do with the fact that some of u igbos like fighting fights that r very stupid?

oh u think i don't have such laws in my home town,uju if u like argue from now till tomorrow,the fact still remains that igbo and their cultures are thieves

You better recant that statement b/4 i take it up on you!!!!!!!
Is anything wrong with your brain.Were you forced and how could you say that?

Okija_juju:

Let me first of all state this.

MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR KIDS, IF YOU NO WHOLE MONEY, REMAIN SINGLE.

I remember a certain dude who came to my dad to chaperone him to his meet with the brides parents since my dad could speak the local dialect of the bride.
After the meeting was over, the dude came back crying. He said he knew it was going to be expensive but what he saw was insane. Virtually every relative you could think of had a list for the guy.

The mum
The Dad
The Brothers
The sisters
Her age group (Umu ada)
Her Mothers age group
The family elders
e.t.c

And these lists included some bizzare requests such as;

*wrappers (several yards, different designs, and they are all hollandis)
*Creates of alcoholic beverages (Star, Guiness, Harp, Gulder, 33, Heineken, e.t.c)
*Kolanuts
*Lots of bottles of different alcoholic whiskeys and brandys (Moets, Schinapps, Hennessy, Vodka, e.t.c)
*Lots of bags of rice
*Several tubers of Yam
*Goats
*Cows
*Many Jerrycans of palm oil
*Dresses for the Parents and siblings of the bride.
*Money for rites
*Several Bunches of Plantain
*Shoes, bags and hats (Normally for the parents)
*Jewellries

_{And the list goes on.}

And the interesting part is that the actual bride price is normally very small. Atimes between 15Naira -2000Naira.

@Okija_Juju:

Was the bride from Imo? because thats exactly what i'm talking about

rickky421:

Be like me; Don't get married.

Are you that stingy? Who would bear your kids? ?

KarmaMod:

he gained the money back so why is he still crying?

I wonder o!!!

Let's face the fact, really it's high time the igbo king and kingsmen
come together and review this bride price thing,
it's just too expensive, they should ''soft pedal'' a bit, Haba!!!

I think the amount paid as brideprice to an extent ,especially in the east where the prices are exorbitant
depends on the family.yes,the list and demands made on the groom is fixed,but the immediate family has the final say.

whitelexi:

@Okija_Juju:

Was the bride from Imo? because thats exactly what i'm talking about

What are u on about, am from IMO too, itz not done that way in my area.
The only place i know in Imo State where they spend alot to get married is MBAISE and i think they are highest in Igboland.
At the same time they levy u according to your class cuz i have seen a typist that married an Mbaise gyl.

@Danke
6 million?   maybe in CFA or old Cedi.
If its in Naira then he did the traditional wedding at the same time.

"Weda" bride price or "wedan't" who wan marry go marry.

presido1:

What are u on about, am from IMO too, itz not done that way in my area.
The only place i know in Imo State [b]where they spend alot to get married is MBAISE and i think they are highest in Igboland.[/b]At the same time they levy u according to your class because i have seen a typist that married an Mbaise gyl.

Bros, u have hit the nail on the head with that statement
You must now add my email addy to your YIM cos we gats to yarn from now onwards. I dont accept anyhow so mention your name and i will add u.