Dear Chineke,

Hope this letter get to you in good time.
Please change this your harsh sun and weather condition in Nigeria (Africa) to that of Europe. It is making our lovely women (and some useless men) blacker. We prefer the climate where the snow falls all year.

Edumare, Please, can you please just make it like the Oyibo own so that we can maintain our light skin.
It's high time you consider creating new model of African women. It is 2014 for Osanobua's sake; we are tired of this old models. Here are few suggestion of the vintage features you can replace in the latest models.

For a start give us lighter skin like Tonto Dike's complexion and a wavy straight hair like Wendy's, maybe an option of blonde like Nicki Minaj if you will. And while you are at it, you can throw in a couple of things like longer eye lashes, talon-like nails, blue-coloured eyes, thinner nose, a hairless eyebrow and so on (you know what now, you know what to add to make us not to look like our ancestor)

Thanks for being the understanding type. One last thing can you give me a foreign accent like those of our Naija OAP, pleaaaaase.
We don't want to sound like Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Onyeka Owennu, Oby Ezekwesili; who despite schooling abroad still sound Nigerian (and look African). Tufiakwa!
So help me Ubangidi Amen.


Yours servant,
A Nigerian girl next door

Reference the link below for prologue to this thread
https://www.nairaland.com/1912534/not-bleach-sun-burns-ayo/2#26482655

The satirical piece sum it all.
The OAP accent got me cracking... LOL

...funny but sad?